My horse is really agressive

[Wishfilly]

OP, are you in the US? Just wondering because the trainer relationship (agreeing before you sell a horse for example) sounds a bit different to most places in the UK?

Not that it makes a huge difference to the advice, but may change a bit of the context.

I think you need to have a sit down chat with your parents and explain to them that you believe he is in pain, and you really want a vet out to assess him. Stress how much of a welfare issue this could be, and that you want a vet to ensure there's no obvious cause of pain before moving forwards. You could also tell them you are starting to get scared, and that if it's not pain related you think he may need a home that is more experienced than you. Point out that something like ulcers is relatively easily treatable in many cases, and this could actually be a "quick fix" to the problem.

If your parents won't agree to getting a vet out even after you (and perhaps another adult) has had this discussion with them, then I think you are in a really difficult situation, and unfortunately for his own welfare the horse may need to be sold.

There are horses out there that aren't schoolmasters who also aren't aggressive like this. There are older horses who are set in their ways and have known quirks, who might be a bit more suited to your situation than something green and unknown.

 

[ajklin8806]

OP I think you are a minor? Sorry if I have got this wrong. If you are, I assume you are dependent on your parents listening to you, rather than the trainers who are obviously earning a regular sum because of the issues you are having with your horse.

I am not categorically saying they (trainers) are spinning this out to retain a nice regular little bit of income, but it is far from unheard of, I can assure you. Not all trainers are honest and have the clients best interests at heart.

Could you show this thread to your parents and see if reading independent opinion on the whole saga might make them re think their stance on insisting you keep and persevere with this horse. I think both for you, and the horse, it needs to be acknowledged that through no fault of your own, this horse is not the right one for you. And you are not the right owner for the horse.

Good luck with it all, I hope you can make them see sense and allow you to buy a nice well schooled all rounder then you can start to enjoy your riding and have some fun.

Yup! So update basically I’m moving barns. I think it will give me and my horse a more positive outlook on everything and I think he will also be much much happier. My new trainer can have her opinion on him and we can talk about weather he is in pain or not but I have been riding him and he has been getting much better. I figured out the people handeling him weren’t paying attention and that’s why they are bitten because I usually don’t get bit. He’s been doing great on the ground and undersaddle but I’m still not ruling pain out or anything like that. edit:And I in a month or two if the time comes to it I will talk about selling him

 

[ajklin8806]

OP, are you in the US? Just wondering because the trainer relationship (agreeing before you sell a horse for example) sounds a bit different to most places in the UK?

Not that it makes a huge difference to the advice, but may change a bit of the context.

I think you need to have a sit down chat with your parents and explain to them that you believe he is in pain, and you really want a vet out to assess him. Stress how much of a welfare issue this could be, and that you want a vet to ensure there's no obvious cause of pain before moving forwards. You could also tell them you are starting to get scared, and that if it's not pain related you think he may need a home that is more experienced than you. Point out that something like ulcers is relatively easily treatable in many cases, and this could actually be a "quick fix" to the problem.

If your parents won't agree to getting a vet out even after you (and perhaps another adult) has had this discussion with them, then I think you are in a really difficult situation, and unfortunately for his own welfare the horse may need to be sold.

There are horses out there that aren't schoolmasters who also aren't aggressive like this. There are older horses who are set in their ways and have known quirks, who might be a bit more suited to your situation than something green and unknown.

Yes I’m from the US. Like I said in my other reply, I think it is best to try moving barns. He doesn’t seem happy at my barn and he is not taken care of properly which i just found out. I already found a very nice barn so thankfully we are getting that set in place. My new trainer agreed to help me work with him and everything. He has also gotten much better in the last two weeks aswell which is good. If he’s still bad in behavior in a month or two I will seriously consider selling him.

 

[Birker2020]

Have the herd dynamics changed at all?

Sorry have read all the replies, so ignore if not relevant.

 

[Wishfilly]

Yes I’m from the US. Like I said in my other reply, I think it is best to try moving barns. He doesn’t seem happy at my barn and he is not taken care of properly which i just found out. I already found a very nice barn so thankfully we are getting that set in place. My new trainer agreed to help me work with him and everything. He has also gotten much better in the last two weeks aswell which is good. If he’s still bad in behavior in a month or two I will seriously consider selling him.

That sounds like a really good plan. I would still push to get the vet out if you possibly can, though!

 

[ajklin8806]

Have the herd dynamics changed at all?

Sorry have read all the replies, so ignore if not relevant.

He used to be in a field with two horses and now it’s just one, but no new horses

 

[Illusion100]

Are the aggressive episodes predictable or come out of the blue?

 

[Winters100]

I just feel horrible selling him and I know everyone around me would hate me for it.

I really feel for you in this situation. It is very difficult for adults to deal with, so for a young person it must be very trying indeed. Well done for recognising that this is probably not the horse for you, you sound like a sensible and responsible owner.

Regarding the opinion of others in this matter you will have to let it wash over you. There are very few long term horse owners who have not, at least once, had to recognise that they have the wrong horse, and have sold in order to replace it with one who is a better fit. You may be surprised to find how supportive people are, but if not I would just make a decision, and then refuse to get drawn into discussion about it. If you are worried about others on the yard perhaps you could ask your parents for help? Let them say that it is their decision, and that it is final.

You may also find that the horse himself is better off in a home where he is a better fit. This was certainly my experience when I sold a super horse, who was just too much for me. Unfortunately I waited too long, and left it until I had a serious accident, but once I had sold and replaced him with a lovely schoolmistress the only thing I felt was that I wished I had done it 2 years earlier. The horse, who for me had become a burden, was much better off with a more skilled and confident rider, and his spookiness disappeared once he was hearing the message "don't be so silly, nothing to see there" rather than "oh no, what now".

Really good luck with this, and I hope that you will soon have the right horse and be able to start enjoying your hobby.

 

[Birker2020]

There are very few long term horse owners who have not, at least once, had to recognise that they have the wrong horse, and have sold in order to replace it with one who is a better fit. You may be surprised to find how supportive people are, but if not I would just make a decision, and then refuse to get drawn into discussion about it. If you are worried about others on the yard perhaps you could ask your parents for help? Let them say that it is their decision, and that it is final.
.

I had this situation after losing my first horse who was a grade B SJ school master. When I lost him the grief was immense and I rushed out and bought the first horse I tried which was an absolute disaster as he was only 5 and very babyish and green, a very well bred ISH.

I expected to pick up from where I'd left off with Biggles and Mikki just didn't fit the criteria. I ended up resenting him and the fact he wasn't a perfect fit for me. If I had him now in my life it would have worked out fine, but then some 23 years ago, I was ignorant of how to look after and ride a youngster and just wanted to go out and have fun instead of putting the work in.

I 'd had him 11 months by that stage, thus ensued a very awkward conversation with my parents about selling him (they knew I'd had loads of problems with him) and Mum said it would be better to sell him the following spring as he'd be more likely to sell then at that time which was November. So I hung on to him but then tragedy struck and he broke his leg playing in the field a few days later whilst I was at work which resulting in him being pts.

It gave me an escape and although I was very upset, I'd never 'loved' him very much, looking back now it breaks my heart, but at the time all I could think about was that I could get something better.

I did, I ended up with a much older horse who was 9 and knew the ropes and had a lovely partnership with him for 2 1/2 years until he dropped down dead with a heart attack.

OP I would be inclined to to buy the horse in question, life is too short and horse ownership is too expensive to have something you don't get on with.

 

[Shilasdair]

... So I hung on to him but then tragedy struck and he broke his leg playing in the field a few days later whilst I was at work which resulting in him being pts.

It gave me an escape and although I was very upset, I'd never 'loved' him very much, looking back now it breaks my heart, but at the time all I could think about was that I could get something better.

You may not have coped well with this young horse - but to be glad a 5 year old has broken his leg so you could get something better is...disappointing.

 

[ajklin8806]

I really feel for you in this situation. It is very difficult for adults to deal with, so for a young person it must be very trying indeed. Well done for recognising that this is probably not the horse for you, you sound like a sensible and responsible owner.

Regarding the opinion of others in this matter you will have to let it wash over you. There are very few long term horse owners who have not, at least once, had to recognise that they have the wrong horse, and have sold in order to replace it with one who is a better fit. You may be surprised to find how supportive people are, but if not I would just make a decision, and then refuse to get drawn into discussion about it. If you are worried about others on the yard perhaps you could ask your parents for help? Let them say that it is their decision, and that it is final.

You may also find that the horse himself is better off in a home where he is a better fit. This was certainly my experience when I sold a super horse, who was just too much for me. Unfortunately I waited too long, and left it until I had a serious accident, but once I had sold and replaced him with a lovely schoolmistress the only thing I felt was that I wished I had done it 2 years earlier. The horse, who for me had become a burden, was much better off with a more skilled and confident rider, and his spookiness disappeared once he was hearing the message "don't be so silly, nothing to see there" rather than "oh no, what now".

Really good luck with this, and I hope that you will soon have the right horse and be able to start enjoying your hobby.

Thank you, this helped a lot

 

[Birker2020]

You may not have coped well with this young horse - but to be glad a 5 year old has broken his leg so you could get something better is...disappointing.

I didn't say i was glad so please stop being deliberately provocative.

At the time (i.e. in the weeks after I lost him) I realised i could find something better, for goodness sake!! The whole event was very traumatic not least because the horse was shot twice by the vet because he moved, something I've written about on this forum before. Do you think I was happy about that????

I said I was upset at the time and also said that looking back now it breaks my heart. He was a bolshy self opinionated youngster who was nappy to be ridden, didn't like being caught and I would spend hours down the field of 40 acres with 25 horses galloping around me trying to catch him. He also used to scrape me up the side of walls (which I resolved) along with the kicking out at me when I was grooming him. He also used to buck when I rode him, so hardly the horse of my dreams and no wonder I wanted to sell him, although by the time he went most of these problems had been resolved.

I would never be glad a horse had died and to suggest otherwise is really mean spirited and spiteful.
If you look on the Blue Cross bereavement memory wall there is a lovely dedication to him as well which I wrote all those years ago.

Adjkin8806 I'm sorry your post has been hijacked but I cannot let this comment by Shiladair slide without being answered.

 

[Shilasdair]

I didn't say i was glad so please stop being deliberately provocative.

At the time (i.e. in the weeks after I lost him) I realised i could find something better, for goodness sake!! The whole event was very traumatic not least because the horse was shot twice by the vet because he moved, something I've written about on this forum before. Do you think I was happy about that????

I said I was upset at the time and also said that looking back now it breaks my heart. He was a bolshy self opinionated youngster who was nappy to be ridden, didn't like being caught and I would spend hours down the field of 40 acres with 25 horses galloping around me trying to catch him. He also used to scrape me up the side of walls (which I resolved) along with the kicking out at me when I was grooming him. He also used to buck when I rode him, so hardly the horse of my dreams and no wonder I wanted to sell him, although by the time he went most of these problems had been resolved.

I would never be glad a horse had died and to suggest otherwise is really mean spirited and spiteful.
If you look on the Blue Cross bereavement memory wall there is a lovely dedication to him as well which I wrote all those years ago.

Adjkin8806 I'm sorry your post has been hijacked but I cannot let this comment by Shiladair slide without being answered.

Phew, I'm glad you just worded it badly.
I'd hate to think anyone was pleased to see a 5 year old die after a broken leg, regardless of how naughty he was.
You might want to consider your language in posts more carefully to ensure your meaning is clear.
And name-calling is never polite.

 

[Birker2020]

You might want to consider your language in posts more carefully to ensure your meaning is clear.
And name-calling is never polite.

And you might want to stop jumping on my back every five minutes in a sad attempt to 'liven up' the forum.
And I didn't call you by any name that was not justified given what you said.

Obviously an apology would never be forthcoming from you ......

 

[Shilasdair]

And you might want to stop jumping on my back every five minutes in a sad attempt to 'liven up' the forum.
And I didn't call you by any name that was not justified given what you said.

Obviously an apology would never be forthcoming from you ......

I don't believe I've ever commented on any of your other posts?
And I have never been rude to you - even in post #40 above.
Anyway, I'm going to wish you well, and leave this conversation.