My horse killed my best friends dog, I need some advice :(

AmieeT said:
100% agree with this.

Animals will be animals no matter how domesticated we'd like them to be.

Not the dogs fault, not the horses. Just a sad accident.

Ax
Click to expand...

Definitely agree. My horse double barrelled my dog in the head just weeks after I had got him (the dog).

I learnt my lesson - it was my fault, not the dog or horses. I was too complacent.

Luckily he was okay, but he was knocked out for 5 mins and I thought he was dead.

You and your friend will both be very upset but I don't think selling your lad is the right way to go. A horrible lesson learnt .

Hugs to both of you xx
 
What an awful thing for you and your friend to be going through, such a sad situation.

My horse (who I love to bits) nearly trod on my little dog a couple of weeks ago (who I love even more to bits). My dog is getting old and just decided to wander in front of her just as my horse was walking into her field shelter, she literally missed treading on her by centimetres, it gave me a huge shock but luckily no harm done.

I can't offer any useful advice just that I guess you're wracked with guilt and your friend is traumatised, big hugs to you both x
 
It sounds like your friend is lovely, and doesnt want or expect you to sell your horse, and you shouldn't if he/she is what you need in a horse. What I am finding hard to believe is that someone had a small/toy breed around a horse of ANY size in the first place? We have shetlands and I dont even let the small dogs near them and they are unshod, one kick for maybe a fly bothering them would kill them in the right place.

The lab is the only guy allowed around any horse and he keeps a respectable distance and has the speed to get away if required.

I have seen so many horse try to "play" with dogs by lashing out their front feet, or indeed they can be aggressive.....

I think sadly your friend needs to take full responsibility for this one, you were not even there, it sounds like she does anyway, and I do feel for her loss, however, don't ever mix toy dog breeds with horses...it just doesnt work.

So sad all round but please wait until you think of parting with your horse xxxx
 
RedDevlin, you poor poor thing.

Your friend sounds like she is being as understanding as she can be and is being realistic about the reasons behind this happening. It's awful that she is having to go through the guilt, but the fact that she is feeling responsible means that her head is in the right place.

Don't text, don't call...she's your best friend. You need each other. Go and see her and cry on eachother.

When she tells you, as she already has and will keep doing for some time to come that it was her fault her dog is dead, you need to just do your best to remind her that accidents happen and regardless of the circumstances, we can wrap our pets in cotton wool but it wouldn't make any difference and things can just all go wrong. Tell her that guilt is natural, but not helpful and that at some point, she has to forgive herself and remember that no amount of beating herself up will change things or bring her dog back. Tell her that the best way to honour her dog is to live. Remember her dog, but live and be happy...that's all our dogs ever want for us as they try so damned hard every day to keep us that way.

If the subject of your horse comes up, just play it by ear. Selling or loaning wouldn't be in my mind at all, but I am not you. You have to make that decision for yourself and if it is something you want to do, remind your friend that it is your decision. She may feel additional guilt if she thinks you are doing it for her sake, so you'll need to reassure of it being solely your decision if it is something that you go ahead with.

Just talk, be there for her and don't worry about what to do or when to do it. Communicating with her and being the best friend that you are will mean it will all work itself out in the coming weeks and months.

Just go and see her and give her a never ending cuddle.

As for your own guilt, which I know you'll be feeling, forgive yourself too. You did nothing wrong, you know that and you know that these things can happen, so please remind yourself of that and do your own grieving for the loss of your friends dog, but absolve yourself of guilt and concentrate on being a friend xxx
 
Horses are dangerous, yes it's sad, but the horse isn't going to understand that your best friend can no longer bear to look at him or the fact that you don't want him anymore because he killed a dog.

I would never ever sell my horse because 'he killed a dog'. I don't think of that as a valid reason (although you don't need a reason to sell your horse).

He's a horse, he doesn't care, he doesn't know what he did.

RIP dog.

I would try and comfort your friend instead of looking at selling your horse. She might need your support.
 
unicornystar said:
I think sadly your friend needs to take full responsibility for this one, you were not even there, it sounds like she does anyway, and I do feel for her loss, however, don't ever mix toy dog breeds with horses...it just doesnt work.

So sad all round but please wait until you think of parting with your horse xxxx
Click to expand...

I disagree, my toy breed dog has been around horses all her life, she always keeps a respectable distance away from them and apart from the 'close shave' she had with my horse which I described a bit earlier has never come close to being hurt.
Medium and big sized dogs can get seriously hurt as well and I really don't think it's the owner's fault you can't keep your eyes on your dog every second they are around horses.
 
Meems said:
I disagree, my toy breed dog has been around horses all her life, she always keeps a respectable distance away from them and apart from the 'close shave' she had with my horse which I described a bit earlier has never come close to being hurt.
Medium and big sized dogs can get seriously hurt as well and I really don't think it's the owner's fault you can't keep your eyes on your dog every second they are around horses.
Click to expand...

I disagree with that. Where there is a risk, a person, as an owner has a choice. Accept the risk and run it, in which case you could end up with a dead dog. Or...chose to remove the risk and just not allow your dog to be loose or too close to horses. If you can't keep your eyes on your dogs all the time around horses and you don't want an accident to happen, you can choose to just not allow the dogs any access to the horses or vice versa.

That's not a judgement by the way, what others do with their dogs is their business, but not allowing dogs around horses, unsupervised absolutely does mean the blame lies with the owner should something go wrong.
 
_GG_ said:
I disagree with that. Where there is a risk, a person, as an owner has a choice. Accept the risk and run it, in which case you could end up with a dead dog. Or...chose to remove the risk and just not allow your dog to be loose or too close to horses. If you can't keep your eyes on your dogs all the time around horses and you don't want an accident to happen, you can choose to just not allow the dogs any access to the horses or vice versa.

That's not a judgement by the way, what others do with their dogs is their business, but not allowing dogs around horses, unsupervised absolutely does mean the blame lies with the owner should something go wrong.
Click to expand...

Exactly. Our yard has a 'no dogs off lead' rule for this reason - annoys some people, but when my horse threatened a JRT that got a bit close people began to see why...
 
My friends horse attacked mine. My horse was 9 years old, and it ended her competative career. I was devestated, it was almost like a death. Whilst I still had my horse, I'd never compete her again. It has a nasty streak (never been abused). Ironically a few weeks before owners daughter had a go at me for asking her to move the horse as I refused to walk mine near it as I knew it was prone to kicking out unexpectedly. She said she didn't understand why I was so against her horse. A few weeks later she attacked my mare in the field, witnessed by me and my friend.

My friend was beside herself. I never blamed her. I cannot bring myself to like her horse, but I feel nothing towards it. I'd never expect her to get rid of her. All I would insist on would be I'd never turn any horse I owned out with it ever again.

You have to accept animals for what they are. They do react instinctively. When things aren't so raw maybe you could offer to help find another dog? How about making a donation to a dog charity in memory of your friends dog?
 
WelshD said:
Your friend needs to take some responsibility. if you let dogs mingle with horses there is always the chance of something happening, even an inncocent spook while tied up could kill a small dog.

Do leave it a few days for the worst of the upset to be over then broach the subject with your friend - a true friend would not want you to rehome your horse over this and IMHO is not the way to make things better
Click to expand...

Agree completely. Many yards don't allow dogs on, end of subject, for exactly this reason. The boot could easily have been on the other foot and the dog could have attacked your horse out of the blue and left it with an unrepairable injury. It is a terrible shock and loss for your friend but two wrongs don't make a right. A real best friend would never expect you to just dispose of your horse simply because it showed a known animal instinct. My mare, until she was attacked and bitten, was completely blase about dogs (she didn't even try to kick the dog that attacked her) and was understandably very frightened of dogs thereafter. She got better with dogs she knew and saw quite frequently but would shake and try to turn tail and run if she met a strange one. One day though I was lunging her and the YO's dog was lying in the arena watching. All of a sudden the devil came over my mare and she turned and ran at the poor dog. Now I could tell by her expression that she was only playing, but the dog didn't know and it legged it in terror. My horse visibly gloated at her triumph. A few minutes later she took no notice of the poor dog whatsoever when we went back on the yard. Supposing your friend, further down the line, decides she wants nothing more to do with the yard, moves her horse and refuses to speak to you again? Then you have lost your horse and your friend. And for what?
 
_GG_ said:
RedDevlin, you poor poor thing.

Your friend sounds like she is being as understanding as she can be and is being realistic about the reasons behind this happening. It's awful that she is having to go through the guilt, but the fact that she is feeling responsible means that her head is in the right place.

Don't text, don't call...she's your best friend. You need each other. Go and see her and cry on eachother.

When she tells you, as she already has and will keep doing for some time to come that it was her fault her dog is dead, you need to just do your best to remind her that accidents happen and regardless of the circumstances, we can wrap our pets in cotton wool but it wouldn't make any difference and things can just all go wrong. Tell her that guilt is natural, but not helpful and that at some point, she has to forgive herself and remember that no amount of beating herself up will change things or bring her dog back. Tell her that the best way to honour her dog is to live. Remember her dog, but live and be happy...that's all our dogs ever want for us as they try so damned hard every day to keep us that way.

If the subject of your horse comes up, just play it by ear. Selling or loaning wouldn't be in my mind at all, but I am not you. You have to make that decision for yourself and if it is something you want to do, remind your friend that it is your decision. She may feel additional guilt if she thinks you are doing it for her sake, so you'll need to reassure of it being solely your decision if it is something that you go ahead with.

Just talk, be there for her and don't worry about what to do or when to do it. Communicating with her and being the best friend that you are will mean it will all work itself out in the coming weeks and months.

Just go and see her and give her a never ending cuddle.

As for your own guilt, which I know you'll be feeling, forgive yourself too. You did nothing wrong, you know that and you know that these things can happen, so please remind yourself of that and do your own grieving for the loss of your friends dog, but absolve yourself of guilt and concentrate on being a friend xxx
Click to expand...

Beautifully put.
 
....Its a horse. The dog should not have been near its legs. Its horrible situation but i would not be getting rid of my horse because it killed a dog that was running around?
 
Well in my experience, dogs and horses normally rub along pretty well together. I'm not including dogs that go out of their way to bark/chase/jump up at horses nor horses that have a complete dislike of dogs and will try and stamp on them at any opportunity (I've seen a few of both of those).

Therefore if it was just some awful thing that happened out of the blue then it is no one's fault and there is no blame to lay at anyone's door. The OP's friend has lost her 'best friend' and the OP now feels wracked with guilt, an awful situation and I really feel for both of you. Hoping that it in time it will feel less devastating and your friendship will withstand this xx
 
How terrible for you both, you are grieving for the lost dog, and in shock. There are good suggestions hear, about meeting up in a neutral place and having a discussion and a good cry. I don't think you need to move or sell your horse. You could offer to buy her a new puppy if you really feel so bad about it.

I had a pony that was a wonderful hunter and would let hounds get all round her and never take any notice, but she would try to stamp on any dog that was loose in the field and had a good go at killing a puppy once, luckily didn't succeed.
These horses!
 
My sincere sympathies and this will prob not help you in the situation.

Was the dog on a lead ? If it was not then not your fault in the slightest. Horses are wild animals. My horse has always been placid around dogs, until another liveries dog got into to the field barking and yapping and he started going towards it with his head on the floor to herd it out. Luckily dog ran scared. Dread to think what would of followed.

It did put a relationship on rocky ground though as I had to have words !! The dog owner was well it is used to horses and needs to be taught a lesson if it over steps the mark, my response was if I wanted my horse to be hassled by a dog I would buy a bl**dy dog !!! But if she is your best friend it was never a problem in your case.

Horses can be strangely possessive of their space when they like to be .... it is their prerogative which is why unless you are happy with the risk of a dog getting hurt .... keep it on a lead.

I feel for you though, but I dont think your horse should soley take the blame

xx
 
I've not read all of the comments. I totally sympathise with you. Its not your fault - whatever has happened you can't control the actions of your horse. My horse killed a dog last year on a beach. I didn't know the owners and it was awful - I thought about it for ages. From then on my dogs never mixed with my horse at home. And I make sure everyone is aware on hacks out etc.
I feel that horses and dogs shouldn't be mixed, no matter how good they are with each other - as others have said its a hard lesson but why should you consider getting rid of your horse? That's crazy. Just give it some time.
 
You'd never let children run around horses so why should dogs be different? Horses are not machines, just because they accept dogs one day, doesn't mean they won't spook around them another day.
 
Not the horse's fault, no way should you sell him, although I understand your friend is heartbroken, as I would be. Difference being, I'd never let my dogs near enough to get hurt because an accident could happen. :( So sorry for both of you, it's a horrible situation.
 
RedDevlin said:
Thank you all. I think I will leave it until she's ready to talk. Thankyou for yous reassuring words. Someone mentioned colts getting field protective and he does occasionally come across quite 'riggy' like when mares are about ...perhaps its related?
Click to expand...

My lad is the kindest most laid back character who will nuzzle the yard cats if they sit on the wall of his stable and looks at the yard dogs with kindness when in hand.......but at liberty, he's a different kettle of fish. 18 months ago he was in the school with a treat ball while I mucked out. I went to bring him in and had a customary game of footie - he chased the ball and rootled about whilst one of the kits came through the fence for a cuddle. She then got down and the next thing I know he's flat out, ears back, head down chasing her up the school. Stupidly I initially stood in his way (though the situation did change awfully quickly), then leapt back. As he passed me the cat went through the fence out of reach, he gave a squeal and an angry buck. I remember thinking "there's enough space...no there's not....****!" and thankfully put my arm across my face. His hoof connected with my elbow and I was in the dirt. I've never been scared of him before but despite the pain and shock I got out of the school mighty fast as he simply seemed angry and although I was sure he wouldn't hurt me deliberately it was as if red mist had descended in his mind. Fortunately his frog hit the point of my elbow and because my arm was bent I had minimal bruising from the shoe.

I remember a previous yard owner saying he'd chased her dog across a large field once but she made out that the dog was a wuss and pony only wanted to play! A couple of weeks ago I went (with current YO) to fetch the herd in. Dave was one of the last and we didn't realise the two dogs had followed us down to, and into the field. I only realised when, just before I reached him the ears went flat and his neck extended, looked around, saw the dog and got out of the way this time. I'm in little doubt that he would've stomped on her if he'd reached her.

I've become very good friends with YO, and she has seen this behaviour in him yet still, from time to time the dogs come to the field entrance. Frankly I am terrified of the potential outcome and more than a bit surprised that she's happy to rely on the dogs staying outside the gate on command. It would break my heart if pony hurt either of the dogs (or worse) but I already know that YO would have to take a lot of the responsibility. Much as I dislike this behaviour it seems to be pretty natural in a territorial way and I could never condemn my lad for ending up in a situation which could be avoided with a bit of thought.

Hope you guys can resolve things, awful situation.
 
Horrible position to be in, but I'm afraid there is always a risk to loose dogs around large livestock including horses. I once watched my mare sneak up behind my deaf English Bull Terrier and stomp on him, and if he'd been a smaller dog it would have been a gonner, but I can't blame the horse for that, she was simply defending her field from an unwanted animal, even though that dog meant the world to me. Horses do not have human emotions, so you can not say the horse did this deliberately!
 
What a horrible thing to happen for you all. There's no point in feeling guilty now (both of you), give yourselves time and be there for each other, your friendship shines out - the way that you thought of re homing your horse to spare her feelings and the way that she didn't want you to because she knows you love him... Of course she (and you) are really upset, but you will get over it in the future.
 
This is a very sad situation, and I feel desperately sorry for your friend - and for you. As has already been said, horses are unpredictable. My gelding will happily chase, terrorise, attempt to stomp on any small creature that goes in his field - it's horrible to watch, but I make sure that everyone knows to keep their dogs well away from him. I know this was unexpected, but I really don't think you can blame your horse entirely - if it was a little dog, then he may have been startled by it in his line of vision and struck out in defence. Could you move your horse to another yard for the time being, give the dust a chance to settle? In the cold light of day, I hope your friend will accept that ultimately she was responsible for keeping her dog safe.
 
My horse hates dogs and would kill one but the end of the day you take your dog up the stables it's the risk you take. I have a dog I take up the yard he stays on the lead taught never get close but if any thing happened to him it's my fault not the horses and never ask someone to sell get rid no matter
 
Didn't want to read and run. At the risk of sounding harsh (and I don't mean to be because I am a full on animal lover) what happened wasn't your fault and the end of the day your friend needs to understand that bringing her dog down to a yard full of horses carries a risk. It must be very difficult for both of you to look at your horse in the same way at the minute but it doesn't bean that you should get rid of him by any means.
My two have never bothered round dogs but if there are dogs running loose on the yard I assume that the owner knows the risks and would accept the consequences of their choices should anything happen. If my horses did do anything I'd feel guilty but I wouldn't get rid of them because of it.
Chin up, things will get better- It'll just take a bit of time xx
 
I think it's worth a little reminder here that the OP has already stated that her friend is already blaming herself and taking full responsibility and that she has not asked the OP to sell her horse.

It's an awful situation, but I think both the OP and her friend are handling it all really well. My thoughts are with both of them xx
 
Let her grieve, then make a decision. Horses on livery yards are always more unpredictable than you'd think. Too much coming and going during the day, when horses move yards, unsuitable personality mixes, etc. I had one of mine on a yard for a bit for some schooling and hated the way they all were in the field. At home, I have my toddler and my dog with me, no problems. I was wary of going into the field myself at the yard - there were a few horses you really couldn't trust, and they'd upset the others so you couldn't always trust them either.
 
Hi op, you need to give yourself time! You are both feeling very raw at the moment. Unfortunately horses do get territorial in their fields. A very sad situation, RIP little dog and (((hugs))) to you and your friend xx
 
Poor little dog, and I feel for you and your friend. Unfortunately I agree that a horse can never be 'blamed' for this. I don't let my dog in the field generally but once he came under the fence and was sniffing around, the most dopey gelding who is so sweet and kind and never right or aggressive suddenly charged at him head lowered, thankfully he was far away enough for the dog to get out of the way, but I wouldn't risk him being in the same field again. My mares seem to want to mother him, that's fine they can do it over the fence.

Despite the rational side, I would still find it hard to even look at my horse if it had done something like that, so for that reason I would understand if you did want to sell. Do make clear to the buyer that he should never have loose dogs around him though, it's only fair.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top