My mare seems to look like a boy!

[Leam_Carrie]

So my lovely mare keeps getting referred to as he! Today we had ‘isn’t he lovely’ - the lovely bit is correct. The other day I met someone I didn’t know out riding who suggested my horse could be her horse’s boyfriend.

Is this like babies and I should put her in pink?! She’s normally in brown tack with a white saddle cloth.

My theory is it’s because she’s more of a hunter build. Anyone else have this?

??

 

[CMcC]

Yes, I have a very pretty Welsh who is always called “she”, he’s a boy. Although I probably didn’t help matters by giving him a nare that could be misheard for a girls name.

 

[chaps89]

My old Welsh gelding was occasionally referred to as she by random people, but the worst for this was my vet at the time. Continually called him her - and it wasn't like he didn't see him often to have an excuse!

 

[Pippity]

My tank of a cob gets it all the time. I had an instructor who, after six weeks of weekly lessons and being corrected every time, STILL referred to her as 'him'. I experimented with decking her out in pink saddlecloth (with diamante heart) and pink overreach boots. People still assumed she was a gelding. On our one attempt at showing, the judge thought she was a gelding (and put us last, so she was clearly delusional in many ways). People on here see pictures of her and, despite me wittering about her all the time, think she's a gelding!

It's clearly something that's being going on a long time, because her passport name is essentially, "Girl Blue the Girly Girl Girl Girl She's A Girl".

I've given up, and just reassure her that *I* think she's pretty.

 

[JJS]

Mary is a big tank of a cob, but no one has ever referred to her as anything but a she. Flower, on the other hand, who also has flowing locks and an equally pretty head, is always getting mistaken for a boy, and Six has been confused for a mare more times than I can count. So out of three horses, I only have one that people guess correctly!

I may well be biased, but she doesn’t look like a boy to me! I dress her in pink anyway (not that it makes a difference). Sixpence really does look too pretty to be a gelding though, so that one I understand ?

 

[mavandkaz]

Belle gets referred to as a 'he' on all her dressage test sheets. Which I think is little unfair.

 

[Leam_Carrie]

My tank of a cob gets it all the time. I had an instructor who, after six weeks of weekly lessons and being corrected every time, STILL referred to her as 'him'. I experimented with decking her out in pink saddlecloth (with diamante heart) and pink overreach boots. People still assumed she was a gelding. On our one attempt at showing, the judge thought she was a gelding (and put us last, so she was clearly delusional in many ways). People on here see pictures of her and, despite me wittering about her all the time, think she's a gelding!

It's clearly something that's being going on a long time, because her passport name is essentially, "Girl Blue the Girly Girl Girl Girl She's A Girl".

I've given up, and just reassure her that *I* think she's pretty.

View attachment 66720

she’s lovely

 

[atropa]

Yes, I only have mares but the poor girls are constantly mistaken for geldings in their dressage tests. I don't know why either as they are all very 'pretty' types.

 

[PapaverFollis]

Everyone thinks The Beast is a boy. She is rather big and butch but to me she has a very pretty, feminine face. Just a rather large one.

Despite his flowing golden locks most people pick up that MrT is a boy. But I think he looks so much like Robert Retford that people see that and are cued about his sex that way.

 

[Leam_Carrie]

I’m now wondering how often I do this to others. Think will stick with ‘what a lovely horse’!

 

[milliepops]

Beautiful Kira always gets called He by dressage judges
You'd think her name would give it away, she's Kira Nerys, 2 girl's names ?

 

[Chinchilla]

Ours are normally always guessed right, except people do tend to just call Diva 'the white one' and not assume anything - not sure why. Even when they've been told she's female she gets called this. I think she's a bit ambiguous though because she's chunkier.
She's also got a head which, even with the best will in the world, isn't fine or dainty, topped off with HUGE ears. And all her stuff is teal/turquoise, but she has bright pink skin in the summer. (In winter she's just beige ???).

Rosie is very, very feminine and "pretty" - she even has long eyelashes! - so it's pretty obvious she's a mare even though she's quite cresty naturally and wears dark green. The boys are also both quite "masculine" too.


Also op sorry for getting your horse's sex wrong, in the photo thread, although I very much stand by her being lovely!

Just because any excuse for nice clean summer pony pic....

 

[FinnishLapphund]

I know I sometimes have a tendency to presume that pet horses/dogs/cats/etc are female, but that's because most of the pets we've had for the last 30, 35 years has been/are female. So I've gotten used to referring to pets as female.

For example, we've had 11 cats, 10 female, 1 male, and I'm currently on my bitches number 5-7, never owned a male dog.
Well technically, I suppose I have owned one, because one of Jonna's puppies is male, but I sold him as an 8 weeks old puppy, so I don't think that really counts. Besides, I vaguely recall that I referred to him as a girl more than once while I did have him, out of old habit.

 

[Kat]

I think an awful lot of people just say he automatically unless there is evidence to the contrary. Not a problem I have, but my mare has a human girl's name for her stable name and her passport name is *prefix* princess.

 

[MidChristmasCrisis]

My Friesian mare is always referred to as a he before people really get to know her/us.

 

[PapaverFollis]

A fun experiment is to start referring to all animals as "she" when talking to people (so like dog and cats and random birds, squirrels etc etc "look at that squirrel, what's she doing?"). See how long it takes until someone says "how do you know it's a girl?". People mostly default to "he" for those types of comments so hearing "she" gives them a startle.

 

[Cloball]

Does anyone else think it's hilarious that we put gender stereotypes onto horses? Maybe they want to be like peacocks where the boys are pretty and flamboyant ? I just find it fascinating. I am always misgendering cats and I can't quite put my finger on why.

I say this as someone who is and was (to the point of have pink bows plastered to me) mistaken for a boy despite being an f cup.

 

[PapaverFollis]

MrT is pretty and flamboyant. ? And I put the Sprollie in a hot pink harness because it messes with people when they see him cock a leg to pee while in pink. Although that is probably a bit naughty because if someone's dog has an entire male issue then giving mixed signals about his sex probably isn't fair.

 

[Chinchilla]

A fun experiment is to start referring to all animals as "she" when talking to people (so like dog and cats and random birds, squirrels etc etc "look at that squirrel, what's she doing?"). See how long it takes until someone says "how do you know it's a girl?". People mostly default to "he" for those types of comments so hearing "she" gives them a startle.

I must admit fishkeeping has got me into the habit of using they/them pronouns automatically, but I might try this now ?

 

[Lady2021]

My Chucky Irish sport horse mare is constantly referred as a boy . My brother was mistaken as a girl a few times when he was 3 years old.

 

[JackFrost]

I know a very fine horseperson who refers to all horses as 'it'. Problem solved.

(Edited - 'it' isn't said disrespectfully. It almost comes across as affectionate, as in 'What is this strange quirky thing up to now?!')

Personally, mine is the Barbie of Barbies and has to go in pink fluff and glitter.?

 

[Annagain]

I've always had geldings so I tend to default towards "he" unless I know. However, when I'm doing anything official (I do a fair bit with BRC) I try to have a look - either at the passport or underneath if I'm checking tack - before saying anything or I say to the horse "you're a sweetie aren't you" to avoid the issue.

People tend to get it right with my boys despite Monty having a very girly passport name and quite a girly face (I'd kill for his eyelashes!) - I suppose with big hulking hunter types they look more like "hes". It doesn't bother me if people get it wrong though, the same with the dog. Lots of people call her 'he' and are very apologetic when they ask her name and I reply 'Mabel' and most seem a bit surprised when I tell them there's no need to apologise as she doesn't have a clue what they're saying!

 

[windand rain]

Then people get offended as it is not a lovey dovey reference to their wonderful horse and how many times have we heard that calling him/her it means lack of respect

 

[FinnishLapphund]

A fun experiment is to start referring to all animals as "she" when talking to people (so like dog and cats and random birds, squirrels etc etc "look at that squirrel, what's she doing?"). See how long it takes until someone says "how do you know it's a girl?". People mostly default to "he" for those types of comments so hearing "she" gives them a startle.

As far as I'm concerned, all squirrels I see are hooligan males! They're like tree-jumping red rats with furry tails out to empty, and destroy all my wild bird feeders.
They've destroyed several sturdy plastic, and wooden feeders for me, and the worst is that not even the metal feeders is safe from their destructive way of trying to gnaw themselves bigger holes, so they can empty the feeder even faster.

I've tried putting up net around the feeders, and pouring spicy powder over the sunflower seeds, they didn't care. Last year I tried giving them a feeder they was allowed to eat from, but they destroyed it in one season.
I both hate them, and think they're cute, cheeky little so-and-sos. A few times when I've gone out to chase them away, one of them have jumped into a large rhododendron, and sat there and squeaked back at me!

But other than squirrels, I think I mostly refer to wild animals as it, if I can't tell their gender. If I can remember to break my old habit, I'll give your suggestion a try though.



Except with the squirrels.

 

[smolmaus]

A fun experiment is to start referring to all animals as "she" when talking to people (so like dog and cats and random birds, squirrels etc etc "look at that squirrel, what's she doing?"). See how long it takes until someone says "how do you know it's a girl?". People mostly default to "he" for those types of comments so hearing "she" gives them a startle.

I try and do this as well, it's wild how long it takes your brain to make "she" the genuine default without thinking about it. Patriarchy!! *shakes fist at the sky* Though really I suppose it should be "they" shouldn't it...

Anyway, if I'm meeting a new creature "oh hello gorgeous" is gender neutral and never goes down badly, whether they are truly gorgeous or not!

 

[Meowy Catkin]

I've had a couple of funny ones.

In the woods on a bridleway riding my chestnut mare, meet a family on a walk. Small boy asks 'where's his winky?' I reply straight away 'she doesn't have one as she's a girl.' Parents look so embarrassed.

Out with my chestnut gelding and chestnut mare. He was rising 2 or maybe just 2 and being taught about the world beyond his paddock. Met some neighbours who first asked is CM had had a foal. To be fair they are both chestnut and he was a lot smaller and leggier than her at that time. 2nd question -

'What's her name'

'Prince'

'Oh... (long pause)... she's very pretty'

 

[Annagain]

Patriarchy!! *shakes fist at the sky* Though really I suppose it should be "they" shouldn't it...

The lefty liberal (or actually, just the human) in me agrees but my inner grammar fascist is screaming "'they' is plural"....yes I know language is a living, developing thing and this is probably a good development but I really struggle with that!

 

[Chinchilla]

The lefty liberal (or actually, just the human) in me agrees but my inner grammar fascist is screaming "'they' is plural"....yes I know language is a living, developing thing and this is probably a good development but I really struggle with that!

Your inner grammar fascist is uneducated, considering they has been used in the singular form since the fourteenth century....?

 

[smolmaus]

There was a(n admittedly snarky) tweet I saw and of course CAN'T FIND NOW like "but what if you don't know what gender a person is, what then??" And someone responded "I would just look at them and see if they look like a HE or a SHE of course!" without realising they had just used a gender neutral pronoun twice without even noticing. So perfect you suspect a setup but y'know, still illustrative!

 

[Annagain]

Your inner grammar fascist is uneducated, considering they has been used in the singular form since the fourteenth century....?

...it was but was phased out around the 17th century until it made a comeback in the late 20th. The singular you (rather than thee/thou) stuck but the singular they didn't.