My next equine project horse

AdorableAlice

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Ted has provided us with plenty of funny moments but this morning the laugh was at my expense and I am now sitting in front of the wood burner trying to get warm as the end result.

The cold and dry weather has let me open a field up, so this morning Ted and Alice took a different route. We all know what can happen when the routine changes for youngsters, Alice was little Miss Perfect, Ted must have eaten a large quantity of blue smarties overnight judging by his antics on the end of the line, but we made it in one piece and the expected explosion did not happen when I let him go because he spotted several blades of the funny green stuff poking out of the ground.

The field has been closed for months so I walked the fence line, Alice takes no notice, but Ted comes with me. If he was a child the only words he would utter would be 'why' and 'what are you doing'. We reach the trough which has several inches of ice on it. I had not thought to bring the hammer and was too lazy to go back and fetch one. Ted did not respond to the instruction 'break the ice with your foot' so it was down to me to stamp on it.

It was a bit awkward, the ground has sunk a little and the trough is raised slightly, plus I am old, stiff and fat ! Ted is still at my side, so I say..."Ted, let me hold your mane and lean on you whilst I stamp on the ice", he was brilliant, but the ice was much weaker than I thought it was, and broke with a loud crack at the first stamp on it, Ted shot off and I fell in, right up to my thigh, wellie boot full and water everywhere. My wellie and I are drying out courtesy of the woodburner, no mucking out done though, must teach that feral carthorse what 'stand' means !
 

cassie summers

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oh i so love this thread about Ted and all the other horses what a lovely boy he is my mare is very similar looking to him though 9 now these shires and shire x have so much character i bet he is a joy to own and yes you should write a book so funny and wonderful way of writing x
 

amc

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Poor, poor you .........something similar happened to me but not as bad by the sounds of it, only one wellie full of water not both of them........I am really enjoying hearing about Ted & Alice, makes me chuckle ....... XX
 

AdorableAlice

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Alfie and Ted would make a super driving pair. Ted stays upright and awake for 40 minutes at a time, then sleeps for several hours, Alfie might have to do most of the work whilst Ted sleeps in the back.
 

giddyupalfie

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Alfie and Ted would make a super driving pair. Ted stays upright and awake for 40 minutes at a time, then sleeps for several hours, Alfie might have to do most of the work whilst Ted sleeps in the back.

Or they may just have to only do 40 minute ride and drive sessions a day as Alfie is no different to Ted when it comes to sleeping! If it's a nice and sunny spring or summer morning then they'll probably have to give it a miss altogether as Alfie won't get up for no one. He loves a summer morning snooze :p if I want to spend quality time with him on those days then I have to lay down with him too - it's way too much effort for him to get up. Not that I'm complaining though, I love laying down with him.

Lazy teenage boys ey?! :D
 

AdorableAlice

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Can anybody recommend a school for delinquent cart horses.

It is official, Ted must have been dropped on his head as a baby, he is utterly gormless. Sweet, kind, funny, cuddly but gormless.

With the lighter evenings and the ever increasing size of the horse I decided it is time to halter train him properly. He will be led but sometimes he leads me - hence the reason to crack on and halter train him. Plus he is going out to fields that require a little walk and he is getting above his station on the way. I am very aware that able to lead and halter broken are two different things and Ted is not going to be allowed to be rude.

Rightly or wrongly I am using a dually on him (extra large one at 20 months !)

This is how the first lesson went this evening. 'Ted it is important you learn how to walk at my side, no lagging behind, charging in front, no walking into me with your shoulder and will you please stop tripping me up with your out of control feet. "no problem mum, I will try hard", 'Ted you are on my foot - again' "sorry mum, but you were in my way" Assuring me he would try hard we began our first proper lesson in this new contraption.

He mastered the come forward, step back and turn away from me in about 10 minutes but he could only concentrate for 30 seconds at a time. I was constantly putting his head back in front of his shoulders and unknotting his legs. Anyway by the end of the lesson he had not had an anxiety attack, was light in the hand and stopped walking when I stopped. I was pleased with his progress and with how the halter worked without frightening him and without me having to use anything more than the slightest pressure. I have to admit I have hung on for grim death once or twice with him in a normal headcollar and he currently has issues with having the rope halter looped over his ears.

Finishing the lesson with a very impressive halt, walk, turn away and rein back we quit for supper. Unfortunately on the way back to his paddock it was evident he had forgotten the lot. We did it all over again, this time with Alice watching and laughing her head off at him. He had a good cuddle before I let him go and when I asked him if he could try to remember his lessons he said 'nope, forgot already, it's boring and I am tired'.
 

AdorableAlice

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Hahaha this has made me chuckle. More pictures please xx

In a bit, his stuffing is coming out and he is thin at the moment so not looking his best. He never stops eating but always looks a bit under done to me, note to self, order another 5 bales of haylage !!

Plus, I took the kitchen scissors to his mane and he won't have his picture taken unless he wears a hat.
 

AdorableAlice

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I have to grovel and beg forgiveness from Ted for he is not as dim and gormless as he appeared last night.

Twenty four hours to sleep and process on his lesson worked a treat and this evening he was perfect. Head in the right place, no knotted legs, attentive, light and listening as we strutted around the yard. My OH said I looked like Barbara Woodhouse, walkies Ted. I told him he would be grateful I did the training when he has to fetch a 18 hand carthorse over 3 fields in a gale on a winters night. Can't print the answer !

Having already massacred his mane with the kitchen scissors I set about his beard this evening, he has quite a nice head underneath all that fluff. I got brave and tackled his ears but that was a no no.

Tomorrow we are going to master trot in hand - I hope.
 

AdorableAlice

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Ted got perilously close to belonging to a lone parent home tonight.

The OH was given the simple task of putting 3 bales of shavings into each yearling barn and despatched with the barrow and the yard knife which is bright red and a foot long. Hardly rocket science, what could go wrong.

As I did the final walk round, door checks etc, Ted did not come to the door for his usual good night rub. He had only got the handle of the huge red knife in his mouth !

Any body recommend a good divorce lawyer !, at present the OH is sheltering in his man shed down the garden.
 

AdorableAlice

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He's an absolute stunner, and sounds so fun! :D

Depends on what you call fun.

This mornings antics pushed the boat out and his advert is written - Terrible Ted free to a bad home, free postage and packaging.

We have a few problems at home and the 2 youngsters have been abandoned for a few weeks so trouble was eminent I suppose.

With the weather forecast to be rotten I decided they could come over into the straw yard. Alice, polite as ever, was a lamb. Ted on the other hand, threw himself into reverse as the headcollar went around his neck, reared like a blooming circus horse and planted a front foot on my lip. It cost me £30 at the dentist yesterday I do not need any further treatment, thankfully he missed doing any serious damage.

He is in the stables now and we are going to have a chat this evening, anyone want him - armour and crash hat included !
 

hayinamanger

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That sounds like a close one. It doesn't take them long to forget their manners when their routine changes. He is a cracking youngster though.
 

chaps89

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I recall having those moments, free to a home, any home, even a bad one considered, happy to deliver him myself. I just keep telling myself I do it because I love them.
Alice sounds delightful, Ted sounds like he is (understandably) in the dog house, hopefully no lasting damage done (to you or to him after you're done having words ;) )
 

AdorableAlice

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Well, we had our chat. Alice kept giggling and pulling faces at Ted so she was banished to the barn.

Ted and I had a deep and meaningful conversation, learning materials were used in the form of diagrams, pictures and You Tube. He took an exam at the end and is now fully briefed about his options for the future.

They include being given to the gypsies and being tethered.
Being the star turn on Dragon Driving
Being sold to Kellys Cobs
The beef burger factory or foxhound fuel.

He has gone to bed hungry, and his ipad and mobile phone have been confiscated. He has not got any pocket money to stop because he had to forfeit it all to pay for previous bad behaviour.
 

Strawbz

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Wow. Just read the whole thread and Wow.

Ted sounds like the equine equivalent of Rex from Toy Story :D

AA you really should think about writing a few of Ted's adventures in a little book for charity. I would buy it and enjoy every minute of it.

Alice is beautiful, I hope Big Horse is well, and Ted.... well, like most 'mothers' you deserve a medal :D Will look out for this thread for future updates x
 

Hetsmum

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Ted and I had a deep and meaningful conversation, learning materials were used in the form of diagrams, pictures and You Tube. He took an exam at the end and is now fully briefed about his options for the future.

They include being given to the gypsies and being tethered.
Being the star turn on Dragon Driving
Being sold to Kellys Cobs
The beef burger factory or foxhound fuel.
:D:D:D Ah bless him! I can actually visualise this - Ted with his head held in shame looking up through his lovely eyelashes :eek: My youngster and I have similar conversations....... :rolleyes: frequently!;)
 
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