Narty situation...advice appreciated

ballysmum

ballysmum

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Hello all, first of all i would like to say hello as this is my first ''new topic'' and secondly i am asking for your advice and help. Its a bit long winded but i will do my best to keep it short and sweet!!

I have been in a domesticly violent relationship fpr 3 years, i have now broken away from the situation BUT my horse hasnt!! :(
My partner 6 weeks ago bought me a 16.3 point to point throughbred, i have been riding her 6 days a week getting ready to hunt her this season, she is more than ready and so am i, i have been paying for EVERYTHING she needs, transport, hay straw feed wormer tack rugs posh brushes and accessories as she is my baby.... BUT this is where it gets nasty, My X paid the majority for her but i paid a very large chunck of this plus paid for her livery etc... He is now saying i am to go no where near her or he will call the police, the only way i can have her is to have him back too!! He has her passport and wont give it to me.... i am in a total limbo, he wont sell her to me for the balance he paid (750) he said he will sell me her passport for 1000!! If i had it i would pay it but having paid out for new rugs (2 xturnout, stable,fleece) and all mentioned above i cant pay for a horse twice!! I love my girl so much i dont want to give up on her and i dont want to leave her....

I tried to call his bluff and say fine you keep her and look after her but he has never even been in a stable with a horse let alone a TB... He left my girl with no food water and alone in a stable stressing box walking, luckily i spoke to a lady at the yard and she sneaked some food water in etc but He has said she will stay in her stable till he sells her......
This is my baby and she has pulled me through a very violent hard time, she is my angel...Can ANYONE offer me any words of advice to help me please....:(
Thank you in advance... x
 
Just go to the yard and 'do' the horse as normal.

She will form part of an asset split during your divorce - so contact your solicitor and get the ball rolling.

You also need to tell the YO what's going on so that they can ensure your horses daily needs are met should you not be able to get to the yard.
 
I am sorry for your situation but well done for getting out.

I would approach a solicitor, I am sure there is something about ownerships and bill paying etc. Perhaps the BHS helpline if you are a member.

If not and he does indeed legally own her then there is nothing you can do except purchase her and obviously don't even consider going back. Bear in mind passport is not proof of ownership.
 
I too would get legal advice.

Well done for being strong enough to walk away, just please stay strong and don't let him bribe you into getting back with him.

Your ex sounds like a nasty coward.
 
Would i need to seek advice from a specific type of solicitor? I was not married to him (thank god) so there will be no divorce.

I know her passport is not proof of ownership but i do need it to have her checks done and obviously emergency care.... Luckily he does not drive so i have now been going out to her and making sure she is ok and i rode her today! The YO is aware of the situation but as he is so volitile is wearing of becoming involved!
I really do appreciate your responses! Thank you
 
So sorry to hear this but well done for getting out. Agreed, passport is not proof of ownership but, in any case, whose name is the passport under? As, even though it doesnt legally prove you own her, it may go some way to show that he bought her for you as a gift when you get solicitors involved. Also agree that you need legal advice. Good luck x
 
I don't have anything to offer other than to get legal advice quickly and to keep yourself safe. I just couldn't read this and leave without commenting. Well done for being strong so far.
 
Well done for getting yourself out, I think you may need to get the YO involved with the horse situation, they will now have a duty of care to the horse if you cannot go in to see to it and your ex is not capable or caring enough to do so.

I would get some legal advice but a horse will be counted as an asset, the fact that that asset is not being looked after will not mean much in law. I doubt the police will be interested in what is a domestic dispute, they would be much more interested in his violent behaviour.

He will use the horse as a form of blackmail to get you back but if faced with a large livery bill each week he may want to get out and sell to the YO (you) or someone else acting on your behalf. Play the long game, make sure the horse is cared for, even if just her essential needs are met for a week or two she will be fine once you can get her back, I would move to a different yard though just in case he finds out.
 
Passport is not proof of ownership, receipt will prove you have been paying for her upkeep, so keep them all. She was a 'gift', gifts can not be reclaimed, just because a relationship breaks down.

Think I would be inclined to move her to another yard, tell no one where she is moving to.;)
 
Get legal advice. Any vet attendance etc is worth keeping.

He can't keep her shut in stable, I'd turn out as normal with a note on the stable door stating the animal welfare act and that the WHW/RSPCA will be involved if he does not abide by this.

As he obviously doesn't have anything to do with horses, you could probably claim as a gift.

If not go legally to get an independant pricing on her and pay him off the percentage of that, that he owns. Then get out a restraining order if he sets foot near you or horse again.

In his defence he could possibly point out that 6 weeks ago you knew you would leave him and have ripped him off the money.
 
If you part own the horse I don't see how he can legally stop you going near it. But if you do find you have no access to the horse I would phone horse welfare people. If there are two part owners, one of whom won't provide food or water and the other who will provide all necessary care, who do you think they'll give the horse to?! They won't want to take it away to their charity premises for rehoming if they don't have to. If your ex really wanted to sell the horse he could phone a dealer to come and buy it and take it away tomorrow.
 
Receipt of the horse I would assume is his? If there isn't a receipt, go to seller now and get one in your name.
Passport forget for now, you can get another sent out if necessary.

I wouldn't move her as could possibly make far more problems right now. The YO does however have the right to lock on site if he doesn't pay for her livery, get this redirected (at full livery as he is not feeding/watering/turning out etc) and weekly. Lock away food, rugs etc bought for her. The he is clearly flouting welfare rules if not feeding her and stabled 24/7. The YO will have to do so and bill accordingly, talk to them about this first though, as you may find that they give horse to him for easy life.
They have a duty of care for any animal on their site though, so are required to feed and water her.
 
6 weeks ago i didnt know he had bought me the horse, she was a suprise (or a guilty present for a broken rib) he to;ld meto drive to a yard and there she was with i am sorry around her neck...
I have always been to frightened to leave him but now with a broken nose and two black eyes having to pick up my daughter from school like it was the last straw, i know i would be dead if i stayed...
I could move the horse yards but then can he call police and have me charged with stealing a horse!! I will speak to a solicitor this afternoon and also continue to care for my horse behind his back and work with the YO to achieve best care in this situation! Again i really do appreciate your kinds words and support and advice! I really mean that!
 
I know it sounds daft but did you keep the "sorry" sign. Every little thing helps in these situations if he is going to be awkward. Does anyone know he was violent towards you, i.e. solicitor or police etc? Get receipts from the YO for livery and do you have a livery contract that you have signed? Does he have a receipt for the horse too?
 
Sorry to here about you situtation. Do you have any other proof that she was a gift eg texts? anything like that keep. Also keep all reciepts.
Don't go back to him.
 
Yes police have seen images of my injuries previously but they do nothing although it is all logged with them.
The sorry sign could possibly be in my grroming box... i will check!
Reciepts, i have for all of the stuff i have bought her accept hay, straw and livery although i could easily get these by asking!
He is saying that the money i put into her was nothing and although she was a present he still had a balance to pay on her which is how i paid the rest for her.
 
ballysmum said:
6 weeks ago i didnt know he had bought me the horse, she was a suprise (or a guilty present for a broken rib) he to;ld meto drive to a yard and there she was with i am sorry around her neck...
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So clearly a gift, do you still have the sign or did anyone else see / witness the the sign round her neck?

The police can't arrest you for reclaiming a 'gift'.

Get solicitor to confirm, but I think he is up a creek without a paddle.
 
piebaldsparkle said:
Passport is not proof of ownership, receipt will prove you have been paying for her upkeep, so keep them all. She was a 'gift', gifts can not be reclaimed, just because a relationship breaks down.

Think I would be inclined to move her to another yard, tell no one where she is moving to.;)
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i really agree with this! i would do it, especially for my horses safety. He is a coward! Makes me so angry
 
Whereabouts in Cornwall are you if you dont mind me asking? Just im in St Austell :) be handy to know who to avoid, if you see what i mean ;)

As some people have said, anything that shows she was a gift is a help and I know that it does not help in Law but the B*****d does not deserve anything for what he has done to you. Again, you maybe could come to some sort of deal with the YO. Maybe if they start pestering him for livery etc he may sell to them and then you can buy her back off the YO?

Also the police down here wont do anything????? Funny that, I had a argument with my bro, went around to see him, got the door slammed right in my face by his wife (who it turns out was the instigator in all of this) and then hammered on the door only to put my hand through the glass and D & C police hauled me in for "domestic violence" and "Criminal Damage" even though it actually was an accident. I despair of them sometimes!!!!!!
 
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Get legal advice now.

Call the BHS

Call the CAB

Even pop to your local police station if you haven't already done so and make this all official. If you haven't reported him, as brave as you have been to date (which you should be very proud of)...if he isn't reported, he will just go on and do it to someone else one day.

When the police are involved, you can simply say that the horse is yours, yes he paid part of it by way of an apology, but it was a gift, end of. They and any legal representative you have will help you sort out the rest.

Good luck and use the strength you have obviously found in the past few weeks to hold your head up high and do everything by the book.

That is, legal advice, police and get him punished as he deserves for what he has put you through!
 
Rollin said:
If she is at livery the YO and not your husband should have her passport.
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No they shouldn't. I believe it has to be able to be produced within 3-4 hours. But passport should be with keeper OR rider and not necessary to be with the horse stabled, grazing or moving on foot (or short rides).
 
Be strong and glad you walked away - nothing really constructive to advise just to repeat what others have said - get legal advice. Now not really happy about this but I'm sure I have heard radio adverts recently advertising claiming compensation for domestic abuse - if it is the money that is his main concern (probably not, just his ability to 'control' you) then perhaps dropping the possibility that you will 'claim for compensation' will be enough to make him think twice. Now it's probably a total longshot but may be worth the effort
 
What a horrible situation but you are so strong for getting away and doing the right thing for your daughter.
Buying you a horse to make up for his abuse really turns my stomach. He sounds like a very sick man. Well done you for getting out. Your safety has to be a priority.
Can you go to the police about his assault on you? Black eye, broken nose, broken rib? I assume you went to the hospital/doctor if things were broken so there will be records there?
I dont know about the legalities of the situation with your beloved horse but I wouldn't worry about him getting the police involved, get them involved yourself. They are much more understanding of domestic violence than they used to be.
 
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