Nervous friend, can anyone help?

You're probably not going to like this but you were silly to giv up what you had IMO. You had exactly what you were looking for by the sounds of it, and it had potential to become a paid position. Is there no way you could go back to what you were doing? It sounds like it was ideal if you were there 5 months, and it was after you lost your confidence.

I very much doubt anyone is going to pay you to spend time with their horses, as they'll likely feel they have to supervise you due to your nerves, even if they have a saint of a schoolmaster.

keep on at the riding schools, the more persistent you are in offering your help, or just going and spending an hour watching a lesson and/or wandering round the yard block petting the horses the more likely they are to give you a chance...You're going to have to sell yourself slightly love, so sell yourself in on the ground that you are extremely passionate about horses and keen to learn etc - at the moment you're being too negative and a little 'woe is me' which isn't going to help. Call them all again but make sure you're on a real high and in a positive frame of mind when you do. Stop as soon as it starts to go negative and pick up where you left off when you're in a positive mood again, you might find the response better.

Good luck, let us know how you get on!! (be prepared, it's not going to fall into your lap I'm afraid)
 
AprilBlossom said:
You're probably not going to like this but you were silly to giv up what you had IMO. You had exactly what you were looking for by the sounds of it, and it had potential to become a paid position. Is there no way you could go back to what you were doing? It sounds like it was ideal if you were there 5 months, and it was after you lost your confidence.

I very much doubt anyone is going to pay you to spend time with their horses, as they'll likely feel they have to supervise you due to your nerves, even if they have a saint of a schoolmaster.

keep on at the riding schools, the more persistent you are in offering your help, or just going and spending an hour watching a lesson and/or wandering round the yard block petting the horses the more likely they are to give you a chance...You're going to have to sell yourself slightly love, so sell yourself in on the ground that you are extremely passionate about horses and keen to learn etc - at the moment you're being too negative and a little 'woe is me' which isn't going to help. Call them all again but make sure you're on a real high and in a positive frame of mind when you do. Stop as soon as it starts to go negative and pick up where you left off when you're in a positive mood again, you might find the response better.

Good luck, let us know how you get on!! (be prepared, it's not going to fall into your lap I'm afraid)
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Thanks for the message, tough love is probably what I need!

The position I had for 5 months was a fantastic job, but I was being led along. I was told it would become paid and it never did, I was actually spending my own money every week and I just couldn't afford it. I gave her an ultimatum and said that if it wasn't going to become paid then I'd have to leave. I worked there full-time, 5 days a week and I was heartbroken to leave.
I left and found a part-time office job.

I'm not expecting anyone to pay me, not at all. I'd work it around my job and just go for a few hours and spend some time with horses. No money would have to be involved at all, I wouldn't expect it! I'd just like someone who could take me on and teach me a few things, so that eventually I could progress into a job.

I'll keep looking, I want this too much to give up on it now.
 
Good, stay positive and keep at it - persistence will be your friend here.

Seriously, target, target, target the riding schools. When I worked at an RS we would NEVER have turned down an offer of free help in return for answering questions of someone who genuinely wanted to learn!
 
AprilBlossom said:
Good, stay positive and keep at it - persistence will be your friend here.

Seriously, target, target, target the riding schools. When I worked at an RS we would NEVER have turned down an offer of free help in return for answering questions of someone who genuinely wanted to learn!
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You must have the good ones near you then!

There are 4 main ones around here.

1 is absolutely horrid, the owner is deluded, the horses are all nasty (which wouldn't help at all), the workers are all very bitchy and the whole business is falling. They're regularly losing customers because of their poor service.

2 are tiny, I ring them regularly as I used to work for both as a child but they just don't have the facilities or time. They have both said that if any jobs open up I'll be the first to know but unfortunately it's unlikely, everyone who works there absolutely loves it. Obviously I'm not looking for a job though, not at the moment anyway.

And the other just never replies. Never answers their phone, never replies to emails and once I drove up there with my sister and they left us waiting for 30 minutes for the manager, in the end we drove off and went home.

I'll keep trying though, positivity means everything in this world.
 
Do these not do management lessons or ate you only interested in helping? Do you have a local rda or transport to get to one?
 
Perhaps it would e worth going for one session. See how you feel, you might get your confidence back on the ground quickly and be one very useful to someone more local. Do you have any local riding clubs you could offer to steward for or set up courses etc? As I could almost guarantee you finding a suitable person win suitable neddie to help with , maybe do some comp grooming etc.
 
Paris1 said:
Perhaps it would e worth going for one session. See how you feel, you might get your confidence back on the ground quickly and be one very useful to someone more local. Do you have any local riding clubs you could offer to steward for or set up courses etc? As I could almost guarantee you finding a suitable person win suitable neddie to help with , maybe do some comp grooming etc.
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It's definitely something to consider, thanks so much for your help
 
I saw an advert in Widmer feeds for adult stable management sessions, didn't really take in specific details but might be worth a look?

What is it exactly you're looking to do, and how far are you wanting to travel?! Are you wanting to ride?
 
Is it riding or being around horses you feel nervous about?

How about volunteering at your local RDA centre - they need people who don't directly handle the horses but walk alongside to help the children balance/in case of emergencies. People with zero horse experience can do it.

It would get you back into the horsey environment around very steady ponies and I'm sure you'll find time for a quick pat or two.

You could build up your confidence gradually again - maybe move on to being a leader - and being an RDA I'm sure they'd be quite sympathetic to your problem.
 
I agree with what all the others have said about your best chance being the RDA or a charity if there are no suitable riding schools around you.
You could also try going on a horsey holiday which would get you back into horses again and most trekking centres have calm confident giving horses :)
Other than that maybe you could get a saturday job/volunteer at a yard doing yard duties and grooming etc. Although this might be tricky if you already have a full time job, I'm looking for a yard to work at over the summer (I live in Northampton) but am finding it difficult to find anywhere even though I am totally flexible on days, times, willing to work for rides etc.

I really hope you find somewhere to give you your confidence back, I'll let you know if I think of anything else. Best of luck :)
 
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