New horse ... I'm feeling low!

Antw23uk

Antw23uk

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Well having read a couple of posts it seems im not the only one with a bad horse today!
This is just a misserable rant so please be nice to me :o

I got my new horse a week ago on Saturday. I said i would never have a TB, especially an ex racer and NEVER have a mare .... so you can see where this is going ... I have a TB mare and she is THE MOTHER of all 'mares' I think she may well have written the book on how to be mareish!

She is like no other horse i have met, she has a nice side and an aweful side and they can swap and change at a seconds notice which has left me feeling thoroughly feed up and hopelessly out of my depth tonight.

I knew she was going to be a challenge and i was by no means conned into taking her and i am totally commited to her but bloody hell im misserable tonight because of her behaviour.

She had a bad reputation for rugging which i witnessed when i tried her out (the faces she pulled would have scared the devil) but this week she has been good to rug ... to the point that you would think she was a different horse. Ok so it took a few growls and loud deep NO's to tell her it was not acceptable to bite when someone touched the rug so i tell my mum this on the phone today and how pleased i am of her. Ten minutes later i go in the field with a polo and think i will just pull the rug down as she had rolled and it had slipped. I was stood by her head and held onto her headcollar ... Well F*&k me she cow kicked like lightening and scared the life out of me .. That will teach me for speaking too soon and jinxing it!!!

Then tonight i bring her in, fuss her a little ... not too much as she likes her own space ... and rug her for the night which was ALL absolutley fine. Pop her in her stable and stroke her face and she tries to take a chunk out of my chin!!!!! That she got a slap for i must admit .. Jekyl and hide much????

Feeding time she is food agressive but she knows that the word 'away' means she circles her stable (large stable and this was taught by previous owner ... excellent hand over sheet, lol) and by the time she comes back round her food is down and door is closed and she is left alone. Tonight i practically had an audience asking to 'see her fed' .. This isnt a freak show you know!!!! :mad: That really hurt to be honest but for safety I had to tell people on the yard as i think its the responsible thing to do right?

So all in all im feeling fed up and sorry for myself. I want this to work so much, i have so much love and commitment to give her but she is just such fruit loop. I know its only been a week and its all still so new to both or us and i pray it gets better as all in all i think the world of her already :o

Rant over ... going to pour myself a 2nd vodka and coke and its not even 1800 yet :rolleyes: Friends over for dinner tonight and i might be passed out by 1900 :rolleyes:
 
Sounds like a nightmare! Maybe she needs a bit more time to settle in? Have you thought about regumare? Did wonders for a really marish mare I knew.

And thank your lucky stars she isn't chestnut...
 
This has nothing to do with her being an ex-racer, a mare OR a tb.
Shes been with you just over a week. Give her a break!!!

If this is the worst she's doing at a time of being incredibly unsettled then she sounds like a cracking horse!
And stay out of the way of the poor lady's legs ;)

Stop feeling sorry for yourself!

*kick up the ass finished*

:D
 
As you said yourself, it's only a week. It'll take you both a year to know each other. I wouldn't take any s**t from her re the rug, and manners are a requirement no matter what, but give her a break: she has no idea who you are!
 
hi ive had a tb exactly like yours with very unpredictable moods and cow kicking,hated being rugged vile with the food ,nasty in the stable etc etc. first job scope for ulcers and get them on fibre only diet. sorry its been said over and over but gastric pain can make them really grumpy and its a really good place to start :D
 
:(
Antw23uk said:
Well having read a couple of posts it seems im not the only one with a bad horse today!
This is just a misserable rant so please be nice to me :o

I got my new horse a week ago on Saturday. I said i would never have a TB, especially an ex racer and NEVER have a mare .... so you can see where this is going ... I have a TB mare and she is THE MOTHER of all 'mares' I think she may well have written the book on how to be mareish!

She is like no other horse i have met, she has a nice side and an aweful side and they can swap and change at a seconds notice which has left me feeling thoroughly feed up and hopelessly out of my depth tonight.

I knew she was going to be a challenge and i was by no means conned into taking her and i am totally commited to her but bloody hell im misserable tonight because of her behaviour.

She had a bad reputation for rugging which i witnessed when i tried her out (the faces she pulled would have scared the devil) but this week she has been good to rug ... to the point that you would think she was a different horse. Ok so it took a few growls and loud deep NO's to tell her it was not acceptable to bite when someone touched the rug so i tell my mum this on the phone today and how pleased i am of her. Ten minutes later i go in the field with a polo and think i will just pull the rug down as she had rolled and it had slipped. I was stood by her head and held onto her headcollar ... Well F*&k me she cow kicked like lightening and scared the life out of me .. That will teach me for speaking too soon and jinxing it!!!

Then tonight i bring her in, fuss her a little ... not too much as she likes her own space ... and rug her for the night which was ALL absolutley fine. Pop her in her stable and stroke her face and she tries to take a chunk out of my chin!!!!! That she got a slap for i must admit .. Jekyl and hide much????

Feeding time she is food agressive but she knows that the word 'away' means she circles her stable (large stable and this was taught by previous owner ... excellent hand over sheet, lol) and by the time she comes back round her food is down and door is closed and she is left alone. Tonight i practically had an audience asking to 'see her fed' .. This isnt a freak show you know!!!! :mad: That really hurt to be honest but for safety I had to tell people on the yard as i think its the responsible thing to do right?

So all in all im feeling fed up and sorry for myself. I want this to work so much, i have so much love and commitment to give her but she is just such fruit loop. I know its only been a week and its all still so new to both or us and i pray it gets better as all in all i think the world of her already :o

Rant over ... going to pour myself a 2nd vodka and coke and its not even 1800 yet :rolleyes: Friends over for dinner tonight and i might be passed out by 1900 :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Oh no :( Is it worth a chat with her old owners, just to see how they dealt wit it, or if it gets better with time? No changes to diet or anything since you had her? Is your management of her much differnt (turnout etc)? I'd ask people to stay away, unless they directly feed her, you're right it's not a freak show and could well wind her up more, not to mention undermine your confidence. I'm sure it will get better in time, as you get to know her and her you... keep drinking the vodka and your friends might cook instead :D good luck
 
Oh dear, she does sound a bit of a problem child. If she is very much a mare, then give her time (up to 2 years!) and she will be your best friend ever. The first mare we had, we would have sold in the first six months if we had been able to show her to anyone :eek: However we kept her for well over 20 years and she was my horse of a life time. She was always a bit difficult to ride, but her loyalty knew no end, one of the saddest days ever was when she was pts age 33, having been retired for the last 3.
 
Oh dear, sounds like she is a challenging one. She sounds very similar to a TB ex racer on our yard, her owner had a horrible time of it for the first few weeks, and she's settled right in and is much better now, albeit a but grumpy.
The thing that helped her was putting her on Oestress. Use on any sort of supplement?
Hope it gets better soon, like you say it's only been a week.
 
With mares, it can take upwards of six months for them to settle. However, all the behaviours you describe are not because she is a mare or a TB. The two mares at my yard (one of which is mone) are as soppy and loving as you could ever wish for. My girl especially is the most cuddly horse I have ever known. She is more like a dog. I have only known one nasty mare in all my years with horses, but have known several nasty geldings.

Correction, there have been two nasty mares that I have known. But quite a few nasty geldings.
 
I have known it take mares up to 2 yrs to settle completely ito a new home. She is just finding out what you will put up with and letting you know what she is prepared to accept from a stranger without argument.

Carry on being consistent in your expectations of her (but perhaps wait a while to approach her in the field to do anything other than catching) and she will come round to thinking that you are the best thing since sliced bread.

If she continues to be difficult look carefully at her diet.
 
Just had another thought, my current mare cannot tolerate any phyto-oestrogens, so no alfalfa, carrots etc for her. She goes from being a forward going interesting ride into a nappy spooky pita, who is not happy with herself.
 
A month after I got my new boy, he spent a morning being caught, walking across the field, then turning and bolting to the back corner. He did it so many times I lost count, and the final time he was fully tacked! Eventually I got his tack off and left him. My mum and I were in tears and were so close to begging his last owner to take him back. Six weeks on and he has (*touch wood*) been an ANGEL ever since!

He is taking a very long time to settle in, and we intend to persevere through whatever he throws at us over the next six months. It's good that you're committed to her though - give yourselves time to settle with eachother. I assume she has been checked by a vet..

The novelty will wear off with your fellow liveries. Ignore them and wow them in a year when she's miles better!
 
OP your post has made me smile :) I have owned my ex-racer (albeit a gelding) for 3 1/2 years. He is the grumpiest grump bag in the world. Sometimes he kicks out so fast you can feel a breeze! BUT, omg he is so worth it! He is now a complete mummy's boy and his temper tantrums make me laugh.

Stick with your new mare. Like everyone's else has said, it's early days and you're both learning about each other. Bet she turns into a fab horse. :)
 
Can't offer much advice bt I'm currently dealing with similar issues around food from the gelding I share. I've only been dealing with him for a short while and he is very quick to latch on to any signs of weakness in how I'm handling him. So same as yours ..teeth, pawing and striking out with front leg and if really cranky will try to back on to me to kick. It's a nuisance to deal with but he's 20 and that's what's been tolerated to date. I have to show him that I have a whip with me and that I won't tolerate his tantrums. This is not what I'd chose to do but if it stops him hurting me then that's what I will do.
I'm experimenting at the moment in getting him be more calm so today I stood quietly beside him as he ate his feed and kept my schooling whip against his leg and that stopped the pawing and knocking his food over.
Hope you manage to get to grips with your mare she sounds like a handful !
:)
 
My new horse was a total cow for the first couple of months (not because she is a mare or because she was unsettled, she had just been allowed to behave like a total rat bag). 4 months in using Richard Maxwell techniques and she is a different horse. Strongly recommend reading his books, they are especially good for aggressive sorts of horses, and believe me meeting aggression with aggression (growling and smacking etc) does not cure the horse in the long term. Especially one with this mind set.

I'd also not put it down to her being unsettled. Insist in good manners from day one.
 
None of that would bother me.......she ,ll settle and will still probably be full on but its a case of getting to know her.If you,ve never owned a horse like this it can be a bit disheartening but you just need to get used to each other.Out of our 3 we have the sweetest secd mare whose only fault is to drag you to a clump of grass occasionally.We have a secd gelding who would,nt hurt a fly unless you got in the way when he spooks, and a we have a chestnut mare with 4 white socks:D.....who is the biggest diva that ever walked the earth !...........she knows every trick in the book, has tried them all and only likes contact and affection on her terms , or if you are offering food.....shes such a cow we could never sell her as I could,nt live with myself :(..........how bad is that !!
 
Who are you and why have you stolen my horse?! hehehe being serious... my 6yo ottb mare is exactly like this, see if she settles in a bit more, mine didn't really she's just a grumpy sod permanently. At least she makes up for it in the looks department :rolleyes::p
 
My old TB gelding was a bit of sod in the stable - he got better as he got older, but he would snake his head and neck at me, bit me more than once, would not let his front legs be touched under any circumstances (he would actually fall on the floor if you touched them) and was VERY possessive over food. But if I could have him back, I would. He was the best horse to ride, ever. He could be off work for weeks and then be no different when I got back on, would gallop across fields, on the beach without problems and was the most bombproof horse in traffic you could ever hope to meet...and did a nice dressage test too!

OP - you might have one of this type - a git in the stable but a gem to ride..... I'd have one of these any day of the week. :)
 
It has only been a week - give her time to settle!

Also, consider the fact she might have gastric problems - my dressage ride has turned from miserable complete git to sweet and cuddly since his ulcers were sorted!!
 
I know how you feel - I have two ex-racer mares, one of which is chestnut too. :rolleyes: Today we went for a walk in hand - she spooked and reared up, which I suppose is fair enough, but as she landed I went to pat her neck and the cowbag struck out at me with her front feet. She came with a reputation for kicking and until now she's been perfect, but she's still in my bad books. Sounds like yours just needs more time though. Give her a chance to settle - if she's still a madam in six months time you can stand her next to mine and we'll only need one bullet. ;)
 
Ant you have just described my big girl! the first week i had her i had to tempt her out of the shelter with a bowl of food as she wouldn't let me in!! Had to block the shelter off to keep her out for the first month until she stopped testing me:o;) Just be firm and consistent with her, respect her wishes in not trying to smother her with hugs and kisses and give her time to settle. She will be worth it, personally i think the loyalty you get from a mare is second to none, she might make you work for it to start with though;)
 
TinselCat said:
This has nothing to do with her being an ex-racer, a mare OR a tb.
Shes been with you just over a week. Give her a break!!!

If this is the worst she's doing at a time of being incredibly unsettled then she sounds like a cracking horse!
And stay out of the way of the poor lady's legs ;)

Stop feeling sorry for yourself!

*kick up the ass finished*

:D
Click to expand...


This ^^^

And I had one just like this too, took well over a year for us to completely bond, with a few hellish hiccups along the way, but once we had sorted ourselves out, I couldn't have asked for a more genuine, loving (on her good days!), and giving mare! Funnily enough, she was actually easiest to deal with when she was in season, and all the faces and threats just became funny, as she never really meant it. We just learned each others foibles.

Sadly she's no longer with us, and I miss her a lot.

Give yours the time and patience that they all deserve and you'll be fine x
 
My friend had a agressive mare they took her ovaries out in the end it did help a little, but she was good to ride and jumped well for my friend, so she tolerated it and warned other liveries to stay away. Sometime you have to take the good with the bad.
 
just to agree with what others have said. give her her space and let her come to you. she will in time. mine was a grump to begin with, not nasty but just didn't want fussed over. once we bonded and she settled with me and we got over the other issues, she has become my horse of a lifetime. she is so sweet with me but doesn't like others being over familiar. (chestnut tb pointer mare). I wouldn't swap her for the world.
make sure she has a really good consistant routine, watch the starch levels, feed fibre and avoid cereals, and i bet she will be amazing. maybe we need a pic :D
 
You should also consider the possibility that this is a horse that doesn't like being fussed over (there are many such, something owners who want a "pet" should remind themselves of, and perhaps get a labrador to compensate?). I have a mare who likes to be left alone, and we oblige her.
 
I would not be too phased by that, she is a new horse settling in, you surprised her in the paddock (took her fro granted) with the rugging and she reacted, and she nipped once. Not too much of a problem with a new horse settling in, give her a chance (I know you said you were committed), don't let little things like this phase you, but also, don't take her for granted.

Give her time to settle and learn, and don't give her the affection (you think she wants), until you work out what you can and can't do wih her.
 
You know most of my horses have been with me since birth and if I need to straighten rugs or take one off I always take a rope and headcollar. Not just for my safety but theirs as well. I'm in about my mares. They aren't crazy horrible wagons, it's just common sense. And I only do mints at night. Going out into the field with treats whenever can lead to aggression as well. I have treat rules. Follow them or no treats.

She does sound like a typical mare. My 6yo can be the same. For the most part I ignore her. Because for the most part she likes to be a drama queen. Now and again she gets a reminder. Rare but occassionally she needs one. Under saddle she's brilliant. I didn't breed her to be a sweet love bug and have the lovey dovey horse thing going on. She tries for me and I let her be a horse. She does appreciate me and days when I get her sweetness are wonderful. She is who she is and that's ok within reason.

So while she needs her boundaries, don't let your expectations of what the perfect relationship should be ruin anything you may otherwise be able to achieve.


Terri
 
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