New horse & ive turned into a nervous 40 year old!

[Secondtimearound]

Well...im back home now and its all done...Yay! It was quite nerve wracking actually as the track is penned off on both sides going round a couple of fields. Past a very scary rubble heap..which I think I was more scared off than he was and through the farm houses back yard almost. He didn't move a muscle! Hes not a spooky horse im learning thankfully, although he does have a good look. It was nice having my instructor walking by the side, so I don't know if he was being good because she was there for his company too or if he would be like that again, completely on his own. I think I will still be terrified on my own but the good thing is its only about a 15 minute if that walk. This was the short version. She did try and explain a longer version but somehow my head was already not listening, ( or maybe I didn't want to know as I had no intention of doing it in the near future). Maybe with company. I do actually love hacking out and would like to go out with someone else but I don't really have weekends free as I have children to look after so I do everything I can in the week, and unfortunately there are not many people around. The good thing was after this, on my own, I rode in the outdoor school for a while to give him a bit of a run round as I have to ride him again tomorrow as he is not being turned out. My anxiety seems to be a lot more toned down today which is brilliant, and the horse is proving to be not so much of a nutter after all.. (so far ;-) ) I think im really feeling I want to keep him now. Now ive started to be able to ride him on my own, can anyone give me some advice on where to start with schooling him? I don't want him to get bored going round in circles aimlessly. Today when I was riding him, he was much more on the bit, although inconsistent. Hes not very responsive to get into canter, and canter is my worst pace as I need to relax more and get my bottom in the saddle. And he seems to go on the wrong leg a lot on the right rein. Help much appreciated, and im so glad for all the stories because they make me feel so much better, and that its not just me.xx

 

[AdorableAlice]

Well done you, so pleased for you.

Your instructor should be able to piece together a schooling session for you, but I think for confidence building there is nothing better than hacking and just trying to go a little further each day and maybe add in other 'scary' things on the route.

 

[oldie48]

Well done, i'm so pleased that today went well for you, I was thinking about you! Like AA suggested I'd also suggest some quiet hacking, baby steps really. If you're in the arena why not just do transitions at different markers, changing direction with weight aids, halting or slowing down just using your seat and as little hand as possible etc. Nothing thaqt's going to fizz your horse up but which will give you confidence that you are in charge.

 

[Secondtimearound]

I have to ride him again tomorrow as he's in all day so, I will ride a bit in the school first and then I will really try to get myself to walk the same route as I did with my instructor, even though the thought is scary! Its best to school first then hack after isn't it, rather than the other way round?

 

[Spot_the_Risk]

Really pleased for you - re tomorrow personally I would lunge, school, hack - as the hack is the bit that's worrying you keep the schooling real short, just enough that you feel happy and in control then get outdoors!

 

[Tiffany]

Well done secondtimearound. Just take everything slowly as and when you are ready. He sounds such a lovely boy

 

[AdorableAlice]

Morning OP, hope today's ride was a success for you.

 

[2ndtimearound]

Good choice of user name OP! Great minds obviously think alike

Well done for persevering. I definitely know how you feel after coming back to riding after a large gap (apart from 2 holiday trail rides I hadn't ridden for about 23 years when I got back into riding aged 38 - and I wasn't that good/confident a rider in the first place). Can't offer any advice having never had my own horse, but I couldn't not say 'hello'!

 

[Secondtimearound]

ahh hello 2ndtimearound! thanks for your message. Well... today went well. My anxiety is definitely dampened which is good news. Ive realised now hes not go to go hooning round bucking as he did on the lunge, hes just getting used to the place and me. I rode him for about 20 minutes in the indoor school. He was much more relaxed still this time. We managed to walk round on a fairly loose rein to start with which we haven't done before. He did get a bit tense after I tried to canter on the right rein which he went off on the wrong leg again, but after a few circles of trot( all be it a bit fast until he settled) he slowed down and in the end me managed a few nice circles of canter on the right leg. It seems to be when he gets tense and im tense he goes off on the wrong leg. Then the scary bit... we went out of the school and he thought he was all done, but I was so tempted to go back to the stable and be nice and safe, but I thought I best get on with it and walk round the track like I had done with my instructor. He let out a hefty holler to his mates as he realised he wasn't going back to the stable, which I absolutely hate! Makes me so nervous the sound of it. And off we went. I tried my best to have a stable contact but a giving one..as mentioned in a previous post and kept my legs on with a squeeze to give him confidence from me. I was petrified actually when we turned onto the grass as I had visions of setting off at a gallop and not being able to stop! but he was absolutely fine. He was looking around with his head quite high but he didn't have one little spook at all! Lets just say I was so relieved to get back and he had big pats from me and I hope I helped him too by trying to be there for him, showing I was on top and it was ok and my non stop chatter! Another day done. Phew!

 

[brucethegypsycob]

Sorry about this but as the others have said, send him back. While you still can. At 8 years he is in the prime of his life. He is a sports horse. He's built for exciting things like hunting and enthusiastic hacks. I've been in the same position as you with an ish. Most beautiful horse I ever owned but I had classically overhorsed myself and had to sell him on . I was lucky cos the girl who travelled down from the other side of the country bought him for eventing. Says it all really. I know have fun with welsh cobs and a gypsy cob. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[oldie48]

Not sure i completely agree with you that any horse is built for an exciting life. They may have the breeding and conformation and temperament to do a particular job well with the correct training but lots of horses are quite happy doing not a lot! Daughter's eventer was ISH, extremely well bred for the job and doing well at all three stages. When she went to uni and decided to sell him, the market was flat but he was sold for a good price to a fairly novice lady but she was keeping him on a professional yard with lots of help (or we wouldn't have agreed to the sale). We thought the prof would continue to event him but no, he's hacked out, does a bit of dressage. Is he happy, you bet he is!

Sorry about this but as the othershave said, send him back. While you still can. At 8 years he is in the prime of his life. He is a sports horse. He's built for exciting things like hunting and enthusiastic hacks. I've been in the same position as you with an ish. Most beautiful horse I ever owned but I had classically overhorsed myself and had to sell him on . I was lucky cos the girl who travelled down from the other side of the country bought him for eventing. Says it all really. I know have fun with welsh cobs and a gypsy cob. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[Secondtimearound]

Sorry about this but as the others have said, send him back. While you still can. At 8 years he is in the prime of his life. He is a sports horse. He's built for exciting things like hunting and enthusiastic hacks. I've been in the same position as you with an ish. Most beautiful horse I ever owned but I had classically overhorsed myself and had to sell him on . I was lucky cos the girl who travelled down from the other side of the country bought him for eventing. Says it all really. I know have fun with welsh cobs and a gypsy cob. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I think that is slightly unfair brucethegypsycob. I do have all intention when we get to know each other, that I will do more than go round in circles and walk out on hacks. As im beginning to get my confidence Its amazing what a few days can do. Im actually thinking I really like this horse to ride, not just on the ground. He is a very smart horse, I can tell that just by looking at his face but that's what I liked about him and im hoping that when he is schooled properly he will do a nice dressage test. The dealers already said, and the vet when he was vetted, that he was a lovely horse but needed more schooling so im intending to do that with him with support. I have a lesson tomorrow and im hoping that I might even pop him over a small jump. He is a very good jumper and that again is what I liked about him. When I was younger, the horse we had refused at everything first time before jumping and its an ambition of mine of be able to jump round a course of jumps, even if it isn't as high as he can jump. I am definitely going to get a trailer so I can open up my options and maybe join a riding club and even at the end of the day, if I cant get myself to do it, there are plenty of girls that work at the livery yard and riding school that would love to do it for me. So, im thinking he has landed on his feet because if he is the horse I decide to keep, he will surely be a horse for life and wont want for anything.

 

[Pidgeon]

Been following this and so pleased you are perservering with him. I've an ISH and he does everything from hack to event to show and even pretty damn good at gymkhana games even at 17 hands tall!

 

[Secondtimearound]

Is this though a riding club?

 

[dixie]

It sounds like you are coming on in leaps and bounds in a short space of time, so well done. He sounds like a lovely horse, you've got good support as well, so I'm sure you'll have lots of fun.

You are bound to feel anxious after a long break and having to make a final decision within two weeks, if you didn't have that in your mind you would be probably be more relaxed, but he does sound super. Photos soon?

 

[Secondtimearound]

I should really put a picture up but I cant work out how to do it! Or edit my profile for that matter.

 

[AdorableAlice]

Sorry about this but as the others have said, send him back. While you still can. At 8 years he is in the prime of his life. He is a sports horse. He's built for exciting things like hunting and enthusiastic hacks. I've been in the same position as you with an ish. Most beautiful horse I ever owned but I had classically overhorsed myself and had to sell him on . I was lucky cos the girl who travelled down from the other side of the country bought him for eventing. Says it all really. I know have fun with welsh cobs and a gypsy cob. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Rubbish. My horse has Alme and I Love You as grand parents, bred to show jump at the top. Dressage and show horse with me. Train and feed it appropriately all will be fine.

Well done op, keep enjoying your horse.

 

[Joandripple]

SecondtimeRound. Well done you, baby steps it is. Mulling through some of the latest replies, I agree with oldie48 too. My boy has some top bloodlines in him, his dad got a 98% score for some German dressage event! And when our paths crossed he had been brought to my part of the country for re-schooling because he was stubborn, apparently! I now compete with him albeit at low level, but my trainer thinks he's a good'un, and he, in turn trains with Ferdie Eidleberg! So IMHO go with your gut, if u two click then stick with it, times may get rough, but this could also happen with a "so called" School Master/Mistress!

Yes you must sort out a photo. X

 

[Pidgeon]

Some through riding club, others local events. Carry on what you are doing and build that bond with him. My boy looks super confident but that is only because he trusts me and we've built that bond up. When I first had him I came off several times hacking as he'd spook and then slam breaks on! Now if he's not sure I reassure him and all is fine.

 

[oldie48]

Yes to all of this and with good support (and a willingness to take advice from someone you trust) you can overcome your nervousness. TBH I've felt overhorsed with everything I've bought for the first few months but this is because I took up riding very late in life (first horse at 50) only rode at a RS for a year when I was ten and i am naturally ambitious. So each horse has been more of a challenge to ride well and has had a "bit more about it" I bought current horse 5 years ago (for 60th birthday)and for the first year I was completely out of my depth but I've had really good support and little by little I've improved and learned so much.I've never really been able to express my fear, I'm more like the swan (but very wrinkly) that looks serene but is paddling like mad to stay afloat, but the sense of achievement I get now when I ride and he goes really well, is beyond words! Keep going!

It sounds like you are coming on in leaps and bounds in a srt space of time, so well done. He sounds like a lovely horse, you've got good support as well, so I'm sure you'll have lots of fun.

You are bound to feel anxious after a long break and having to make a final decision within two weeks, if you didn't have that in your mind you would be probably be more relaxed, but he does sound super. Photos soon?

 

[AdorableAlice]

Yes to all of this and with good support (and a willingness to take advice from someone you trust) you can overcome your nervousness. TBH I've felt overhorsed with everything I've bought for the first few months but this is because I took up riding very late in life (first horse at 50) only rode at a RS for a year when I was ten and i am naturally ambitious. So each horse has been more of a challenge to ride well and has had a "bit more about it" I bought current horse 5 years ago (for 60th birthday)and for the first year I was completely out of my depth but I've had really good support and little by little I've improved and learned so much.I've never really been able to express my fear, I'm more like the swan (but very wrinkly) that looks serene but is paddling like mad to stay afloat, but the sense of achievement I get now when I ride and he goes really well, is beyond words! Keep going!

Snap.

No one would think I have to dig deep to climb on my horse now. In the past I have hunted, competed, broken and ridden away my own etc. But now in advancing age and with a lengthy gap of not riding much due to putting a good rider on my top horse and 12 months of illness I am a very nervous rider. What has happened to me is why I am encouraging the OP to keep trying. Even very experienced people can have major set backs, for me the death of one and the retirement of 2 crushed my confidence in the space of a month.

Keep going Op, and if it helps you to realise how well you are doing I will admit that yesterday I sat on my horse in tears because I was so proud of myself that I had gone on a decent hack alone. I have had horses for over forty years. Keep at it OP you can do it. It is snowing here now so I think I will pass on the hack today.

 

[Secondtimearound]

The stories of people in a similar situation to myself are amazing. It is a wonder why we do this to ourselves, put ourselves in a position where we are out of our comfort zone, but keep going back for more! I was particularly nervous this morning before I got on. I think its was because im tired and had a couple of drinks last night. (Partners birthday). A hangover on a Thursday is not good! I do actually feel a lot better now having completely forgot my hangover whilst riding. My lesson went well! And...we did a jump...woo hoo! Nothing too high but we got off the ground and he enjoyed it and I felt good afterwards. As I wont be riding him at the weekend, this was really my last deciding day about if I should take him back. I decided I wont be as he hasn't put a foot wrong bless him. Its just me that needs to get more confident but I think we could make a good partnership in the end. Id much rather have a horse with a bit of personality at the end of the day, rather than one with none. Adorablealice, thank you for what you have said. It is so strange how our minds react to a situation that happened and turn us from confident to quivering jelly overnight. I am so sure that it was that one fall that completely turned me upside down with my riding. I was told that I was too tense in all my lessons, and I never had that problem before and then my riding went downhill because after every lesson I felt like I had ridden like c**p and so it went on. One of the reasons why I got my own horse was so that I could build a bond with one horse and improve my riding a lot more which is hard when your only doing it once a week. I know my horse has a bit of spirit but I do genuinely think he is a good lad, and after nearly the end of the second week I still feel nervous but not half as bad as I did. P.s.. I have tried to upload a picture but its too big so I need to work out how to sort it out!

 

[oldie48]

Please try again to upload a photo, I'd love to see him

 

[Spot_the_Risk]

Very pleased he is staying with you OP

 

[Secondtimearound]

I have uploaded a profile pic of him but it doesn't appear to be showing yet.

 

[soft touch]

My first post! Been following this thread and hoping that you were going to persevere. Well done you. I have had horses all my life but in recent years after loss of a couple of super horses and a bad fall I had a crisis of confidence and know how awful it can be.It is amazing how many other people have experienced the same. Main thing is to be honest with yourself and your instructor. It will all come good as long as you work at your own pace and set yourself achievable challenges, good luck to you and the boy.

 

[olivia x]

so glad to hear things are going well for you and your new horse. =) and that you stuck with it.
Like you, I am an adult rider returned to riding and have had my new horse for just a week! I was a bit uncertain what to expect for that *first ride* but it all went off without a hitch. No issues, nothing at all, and it was great. I hope you and your new horse continue with a fantastic partnership. Horses are great but when it is one that is yours, it makes all the difference in the world. =)

 

[Tobiano]

OP I am one who said send him back, but now that you have decided to keep him I wish you many years of fun and enjoyment together

 

[Secondtimearound]

Thank you everyone for the support. Ive still had some quite big nerves this week but its not because the horse has done anything wrong because he hasn't. I did feel guilty today that I didn't ride him as he was in the stable all day, but I have ridden him Monday to Thursday this week and he has the weekend off out in the field. I don't want to put too much pressure on myself to feel like I have to ride him everyday, and especially because I don't know any hacks at the moment I don't want to do too much too soon in the school. Its probably too early days yet for him to get bored as he is still getting used to the place but Im trying to find someone I can hack out with during the week at least one day and the rest I need to spend in the school schooling him as he really needs it. One thing I can say doesn't help at the moment and that is the weather. Roll on some milder weather to lift spirits.

 

[Spot_the_Risk]

OP I think you're doing very well. Re the hacking routes, whenever I wanted to check out new routes/areas I didn't know I would just go and walk them first, no pressure that way!