New Horse Pair Bonding...?

[TheBayThoroughbred]

Hi everyone,

I just got a new TB, he was originally an ex racer but has been a hunter/hack in his home for the last 4-5 years (rising 9). I brought him home and put him in the field with my little Shetland boy, across from the mare on grass livery (its only the three of them on the property). He seems really friendly with the mare, with her peeing and doing all the breeding show offs (hes a gelding and used to live with mares and doesn't seem fussed). I've brought him in twice the past two days to groom him and spend time with him, I put him in the stable and he panicked, whinnying and dancing around, even kicking the door and I was scared he'd hurt himself. I tied him up outside where he could just see her, and tied my Shetland up next to him. He still seemed anxious and was pacing, wouldn't let me groom him, so I gave him about half an hour, and when he stood still for a minute I just let him back into the field across from her.

How do I prevent them from pair bonding? Should I just be a tough mummy and put him in his stable for the night and let him sort himself out? I am glad he's making friends but she's retired and I'll be hacking him on his own, so I don't want him panicking every time he leaves her. He has slight mud fever on his legs, which are healing but I'd like to bring him inside ideally as I don't want it getting worse again.

The barn has two horse stables, one of which is currently being used for storage (which we could move, but I'd like him to not panic when he's stabled alone). It also has a view of a field, so the other option is maybe to put her in the field so she can see him?

He's otherwise a very sweet boy and he only arrived yesterday, so I am not too worried yet as he is still settling in! But prevention is better than cure IMO

Thanks xxx

 

[paddy555]

of course he wants to bond with another horse. He is a herd animal, has lived with others and that is his natural instinct and environment. He doesn't understand that you don't want him to live with his own kind but to bond with you and your stables and your shetland.

If they will live together safely then I would put them together If they look after each other for the start of his time with you then that is one less worry.
If your stables are close together I would stable them both to give him security.

If he only arrived yesterday you have to give him whatever time it takes to settle in. Probably a lot of time. His life has been disrupted by changing home and he wants to find security in the one things he knows ie another horse.

Once he is settled in then start to take him out of the stable for a short while on his own. Small bits of separation and start building up to taking him out riding alone.

If you insist he is going to be separated now then he is going to take matters into his own hands and either jump out or get hurt trying in the stable/field.

To me getting him safely settled into his new home without his getting hurt would be the no. 1 consideration.

ETA you may find once he is settled he is far less desperate for her. I have several who are pair bonded. They love each other, live perfectly together but they will still separate happily when required.

 

[milliepops]

I think it's a big ask for a horse to move to a new place and new people, and then ask it to stay in a strange stable alone and just chill. particularly one with a racing background because while I'm sure plenty are quite independent, they do get used to going around with other horses quite a bit

If it was me, i would clear out the other stable, and for a while at least, make sure there was another horse in next door when you bring him in, perhaps sometimes it's the mare and sometimes it's the shetland. and set him up in a way that he learns the stable is a nice space rather than an isolation box.

 

[Sussexbythesea]

How close is he to this mare? Can they touch? My old boy was very silly when took a fancy to a mare at my last yard. He was besotted with her. It was more of a hormonal thing coupled with being at a new yard and he really latched onto her in a different way than to another gelding.

However my two geldings are absolutely pair-bonded but as long as I bring them both in I can ride one of them out alone. The old one is fine being left in the stable but the younger can be a pain and is very noisy and bangs around a lot including double-barrelling the walls sometimes and pooping for England. I just let him get on with it. Walls are wood with plaric/rubber cladding so hopefully no injuries ? In some ways it would be easier to keep them separate but I can’t bear to split them up.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

To start with stop thinking of yourself as his 'mummy', you are not and he knows it. He is a horse and can communicate easily with other horses, all he knows about you is that you take no notice when he tells you he is unhappy being on his own. As P555 says, give him time to settle and set him up for success, give him a neighbour in the other stable and remember that whatever your views on racing, the horses all live and work together.

 

[TheBayThoroughbred]

of course he wants to bond with another horse. He is a herd animal, has lived with others and that is his natural instinct and environment. He doesn't understand that you don't want him to live with his own kind but to bond with you and your stables and your shetland.

If they will live together safely then I would put them together If they look after each other for the start of his time with you then that is one less worry.
If your stables are close together I would stable them both to give him security.

If he only arrived yesterday you have to give him whatever time it takes to settle in. Probably a lot of time. His life has been disrupted by changing home and he wants to find security in the one things he knows ie another horse.

Once he is settled in then start to take him out of the stable for a short while on his own. Small bits of separation and start building up to taking him out riding alone.

If you insist he is going to be separated now then he is going to take matters into his own hands and either jump out or get hurt trying in the stable/field.

To me getting him safely settled into his new home without his getting hurt would be the no. 1 consideration.

ETA you may find once he is settled he is far less desperate for her. I have several who are pair bonded. They love each other, live perfectly together but they will still separate happily when required.

Yes I definitely think you're right! I had a bad experience with a horse prior not working out and now I think I'm a little nervous every time he acts horsey in case it will turn out badly. Need to keep reminding myself he's a different horse, different situation, and it must be very confusing for him right now.

Funnily the Shetland was originally a pair, with the other one PTS a few weeks ago. I bought them 8-9 years ago and so I have probably forgotten all the settling in moments, but now that I think about it they were originally quite stand offish and did misbehave until they realised I'm actually just a nice lady with treats, and now the little guy is a teddy bear.

Thanks all for the reassurance, I think it's more me worrying than anything else. I won't keep him stabled on his own and I'll give him more time before asking something like that of him.

xxx

 

[TheBayThoroughbred]

To start with stop thinking of yourself as his 'mummy', you are no and he knows it. He is a horse and can communicate easily with other horses, all he knows about you is that you take no notice when he tells you he is unhappy being on his own. As P555 says, give him time to settle and set him up for success, give him a neighbour in the other stable and remember that whatever your views on racing, the horses all live and work together.

Yes you're probably right! He's probably just sat there thinking 'whos this crazy lady going all moon eyed over me ' he has no idea I do want the best for him and to be his friend. It definitely is hard when you have all these ideas of what you want to do with them and how your relationship is going to be and they're just trying to get their head round where they are!

xxx