New Year - Happy forum?

LEC

LEC

Opinions are like bum holes, everyone has one.
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22 July 2005
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As we are now in 2010 .......

I really like this forum on the whole as it tends to be pretty pragmatic but I think we generally accept that most people know what they are doing so if they choose to ride without a hat then let them. I think everyone knows the risks.

If someone posts a picture of their pony unless they ask for CC maybe post positive things or say nothing at all?

I think we all know that we are not perfect and if you are anything like me then you spend a fortune to be not terribly talented or good but my horse is my pride and very occassionally joy.

This forum is a great place for information and meeting new people. I have several very good friends met through here and it is a shame if the forum is dragged into being a dull PC place with hardly anyone posting their pictures and competition updates because they are afraid of being jumped on.
 
Totally agree Lec.

There isnt one amoung us that is holier than thou, we all make mistakes and learn from them.

I for one wont post pictures in fear of being slated even tho I know many ask for them.
 
Good post Lec - I felt a bit sorry for the lady on the other post.

My reason for not posting personal stuff on here now is because of lurkers, you have no idea who is reading your posts and laughing at you.
 
I have not posted pics or videos as a result of some of the comments I received on a previous thread... It is a shame because I am so proud of how Grace is going at the moment.

I am very careful what I put on here these days after a few 'issues' I have had in the past with real horrible PMs etc.
 
I only post nice comments, I love to look at the picutre gallery and always praise the photos and what people achieve. I have posted several pictures myself and have only had nice comments back, but spose there is always a first. Its nice to encourage people me thinks.
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But surely, if you are happy with what you are doing/how you are doing it etc, you have no reason to worry about what someone behind a screen miles away thinks?
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I used to be more "shy" when it came to posting photos/details etc on here, but with my sig/photos/reports posted etc, anyone who knows me would spot it's me instantly, so I've blown my cover I guess!
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I'll keep posting reports/photos to bore everyone with in 2010 as I'm happy with what I'm doing/how I'm doing it and would either;

a) take on board any CC (as long as it was genuine, and not just being snipey for the sake of it, in which case I'd ignore!) or
b) explain/back up why I was doing whatever it was that was queried as I'm doing it to suit me/my horse/our situation and don't have a problem with it.

There are certain people who's opinion matters and others who's opinion doesn't. I think it's a real shame so many people feel like the OP and don't want to fully participate with photos/updates etc for "fear" of someone saying something they don't like.
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I am also of the "if you've nothing nice to say, don't say anything" brigade unless CC is asked for and I feel I'm in a position to try help.

I feel I've improved thanks to learning from others on here, through advice on my own posts/questions and also reading others and would hate to lose that sort of community.
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Here's to a happy CR 2010 forum with lots of genuine support and encouragement and friendly advice when asked for/really needed.
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I don't come on here as often as I used to as I have nothing interesting to post! But I totally agree with what you're saying Lec, so well said!
 
I only post nice, or constructive comments if I've anything to say. If I don't like what I see, I just keep schtum - everyone has different tastes etc etc
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QR

Well said - couldn't agree more.

I often say to my OH when we see something horse related on the tv "Oh, that'll be one for the forum" knowing someone will have a rant and be totally subjective about "cruelty" or "bad management" when in reality it was a brief moment in time and neither human or horse died or was seriously injured.
 
I completely agree. Having done little more than lurk for the past year or so, I had decided to get more involved again since I am planning on competing again this year. Big mistake, think competition riders used to be supportive and fun now I think it's become very catty & cliquey. Really peed off about some of the comments I've seen in the past few days.
 
I agree, tbh I mainly lurk in hear as I don't 'compete' per say, but when the advice isn't being bitchy it's usually very good, so lets just stick to the good stuff !
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Interestingly, I have a vid of my horse taken over the weekend which I was going to post, because I think he's looking a heck of a lot better after all his ulcer issues etc and people have been great about listening to me whinge about it.

I typed this great long post which basically explained every minor fault, what we were doing and why, apologised repeatedly for my incompetance etc. Then I deleted it because I thought there was really very little point in posting something if I was that convinced I was going to be ripped to shreds! Shame really...it's on FB instead, and people have been nice (or not commented, either is fine
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) on there.
 
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I only post nice, or constructive comments if I've anything to say. If I don't like what I see, I just keep schtum - everyone has different tastes etc etc
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Thats what I tend to do, I must say I dont think that I have received any comments myself that have been a little harsh in CR, but do tend to be careful what I post in NL.

I have seen some comments on here from a minority that can appear to be a bit harsh, especially when they dont actually compete themselves
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Dont know if they intend to come accross like that or things just come accross wrong.
 
I think I'm with FigJam in the "those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind" camp. I love reading entertaining reports and this place is a mine of useful information but I'm old enough, wise enough and have dealt with enough cr@p in my life to not be too bothered about what HHO thinks of me. Certain HHOers, yes, but they're generally friends that I've made from here and we're fairly like-minded.

The nature of the beast is that horses bring out the green-eyed monster in a lot of people, me included, but I try and use that to spur me on to bigger and better things, not as an excuse to be catty and snide (I do all my bitching and ranting in private
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).

I'm feeling guilty that anyone thinks my comments on Molineux's lesson post were out of order but I asked a genuine question and gave cc of what I saw. I didn't know schoolmasters often went in draw reins, so I've learnt something new from that.

Sorry for the rambling, but I too think it's sad that people won't post reports and photos in case they get jumped on. If I've ridden like an @rse I'll be well aware of that; if I'm feeling sensitive or have PMT I probably won't post the vid of me riding like an @rse.
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Simple.

Here's to a happy and positive forum, full of reports and photos of our less-than-perfect riding and less-than-perfect horses.
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[ QUOTE ]

Here's to a happy and positive forum, full of reports and photos of our less-than-perfect riding and less-than-perfect horses.
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[/ QUOTE ]
Hear hear
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Although i've already told my pone that our new years resolution was to be the perfect partnership for 2010
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sadly we've already broke that so no danager of us being illegible to post reports and pics - if we can post anyone can!!!
 
i think this is a great post lec
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its rare that i post piccies on here because i'm scared of being ripped to pieces...i think its fine to comment if ppl ask for CC (then its wanted and helpful) but i think if you have nothing nice to say then keep quiet - or maybe ask the question via PM instead? TBH its generally pretty nice in here i find but i dislike NL immensely at the moment- too many people criticising when their opinion hasn't even been asked for
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Hear hear!
2-3 years ago there was none of this sniping and backbiting. When you posted a report or a couple of pics people were genuinely nice and said positive and helpful things. It does seem to have changed somewhat and not for the better. I don't mind an awful lot what people think of me on here and if they don't like my riding, my horse or the way I do things. I have good training and whilst in the scheme of things will never impress - I only have myself to answer to and my own goals set by myself so therefore the only person I can disappoint is myself.

I'd like to see a return to good old honest reports and good old supportive replies
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I would have to disagree, isz. I "arrived" here roughly three years ago (before I actually moved physically) and nearly left just as quickly. Not because anything came as a surprise, but because I'd been moderating a similar board and it just seemed the same old, same old. I'm glad I did stick because it's been very useful and entertaining, and I've met some great people with it.

Don't underestimate it's the time of year, exacerbated by the weather, that horsey people are rarely at their best.:) Everyone is cold, cranky, feeling frustrated and unproductive, and has too much time on their hands.

Okay, maybe it's a good idea for people to get a reminder to be nice, at least until the sun comes out again and we're all back, happy and productive, in our own real worlds. But people are people and not everyone is going to be good all the time. Also, people are often *negative* with the best possible intentions, if poorly presented (or received). Surely if you bitch and whine at your friends you expect them every now and then to give yourself a good shake? Why is it different here? I rely on the people around me to give me perspective not just tell me I'm wonderful all the time. And if someone asks my opinion I presume they want it. Absolutely, I can keep my trap shut if I think they won't like it, but I'm not going to lie and say something it's fab if I don't think it is - that devalues my opinion and undercuts my reputation for honesty, which I value highly and which other people have told me ('cause I do care what other people think) they like even if they don't always like what I have to hear.

I guess what I'm saying is you have to consider the source. In any group of "friends" you have people whose job it is to cheerlead, others who dole out reality checks, others who are entertaining but you wouldn't necessarily rely on them when you really need help. It takes all kinds.

And to be really contentious (and a bit ironic) I don't think it's fair to apply pressure to people to be "nice" all the time. Fair, yes. Polite, absolutely. Rudeness is never acceptable. Although I'd say a lot of the time when people are rude to each other on internet forums it turns out there's more to it than meets the eye. But people are going to have opinions and if you put yourself out there, they're going to have things to say. I always think posting on the internet is a little tiny bit like going into showbiz - you can't really want your moment in the spotlight then be surprised if the people looking at you don't always have lovely things to say.
 
Being relatively new to the forum (under a yr I think) I have posted photos and vid willy nilly, some of it good, some of it bad, some of it just simply an amature trying to improve or garner feedback. I have had such fab advice from here, and when/if people post unconstructive personal comments I like to think I have the metal to rise above it, it's not just HHO I think all forums have an element of 'attack' as it's easy to be brave from behind a keyboard.

I have made some good friends on here, and really value people's advice so come on people please post pics/vids I love to see what you are all up to and look like in the hope than some day soon I might meet some of you in the flesh!
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Anyway there are enough embarrasing pics/vid on my blog to make the BHS loose all it's hair so there's no hope of me ever clawing back any kudos! hahahah
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Here's to a positive, constructive, educational, and eventfull 2010 one and all
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(I do all my bitching and ranting in private
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).


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No. Really???
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Personally Figjam has pretty much summarised what I would say. I got a lot of unpleasant posts a year or two ago (and I won't mention the content of some of the PMs
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) and I nearly gave this place up completely.

I am VERY careful what I post now. Generally I know where I've gone wrong and I don't need 43 people pointing it out to me. However (Oscar-speech-winning weepy moment coming up
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) the friends I've made on here have been worth all the sh!t and if I'd never met Baydale, Tabledancer, KatB, Joss, Kerilli, Tarrsteps, Meardsall_Millie, Talavera et al my eventing life would be a smaller and sadder world. Speaking as someone who does it all alone the help and support all you guys give is invaluable.

*here endeth the lesson*
 
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[ QUOTE ]
(I do all my bitching and ranting in private
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).


[/ QUOTE ]

No. Really???
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[/ QUOTE ]

Yep.
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Why, did you think I was perfect and never had ungenerous thoughts?
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Wow - where have I been? I must have missed all the fun
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I generally find CR the place I am most comfortable lurking. I would post, if I ever did anything more than muck out, but that's not the forum's fault
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. It's been rare that I've seen much in the way of out and out bitching, and it's a real shame that people don't want to put their vids/photos up
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. But as others have said, I'd still be selective about what I said/uploaded, in the same way I sometimes censor my mouth in real life! Ditto for responses, if someone hasn't asked for CC, I don't give it; and if they have (and I'm up to the job) I'll word it tactfully. I know only too well how words in type, without the inflection of the spoken word, can be mis-interpreted.

I love CR, I learn so much from it; I've met a couple of lovely people (even if there aren't many from across the border
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) and look forward to hearing and seeing all of your antics throughout 2010. Let's face it, I live my horsey life vicariously through you lot, so POST POST POST
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ETS - I've just done some investigating and found what may be the offending posts, or at least some of them. I don't think in all honesty there was anything that bad, but there are some serious cases of cabin fever going on here
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You only have to look at the number of views on each post - loads of them over 1k
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. Normal service will be resumed when we all get out more, I'm sure
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I love posting on here, and have taken far more pics (and got a better camera) since I found HHO so I can share them with my online friends.

However since the last time I posted (update about my TB mare post vet visit) and was told by a newbie with a post count of about 50 that my OH was far too big for her and no wonder she had a bad back) I am feeling a little more cautious.

Pity though - I have some fab shots from our pre Xmas hunt (incl jumping ones for once) that I would love to share, but there's always some tosser who spoils it.

If I look at pics and don't like them I have a perfectly good 'back' button on my laptop and just say nought
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Fiona

Fiona
 
I agree. People should be able to post photos and videos without people picking them to pieces. I always say something nice and only give CC if it is asked for which is how I would like people to respond to my posts
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[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
(I do all my bitching and ranting in private
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).


[/ QUOTE ]

No. Really???
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[/ QUOTE ]

Yep.
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Why, did you think I was perfect and never had ungenerous thoughts?
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[/ QUOTE ]

Nah, I've met you after a botle of wine
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However (Oscar-speech-winning weepy moment coming up
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) the friends I've made on here have been worth all the sh!t and if I'd never met Baydale, Tabledancer, KatB, Joss, Kerilli, Tarrsteps, Meardsall_Millie, Talavera et al my eventing life would be a smaller and sadder world. Speaking as someone who does it all alone the help and support all you guys give is invaluable.

*here endeth the lesson*

[/ QUOTE ]

Aww, that's so sweet.
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And, what's more, I'd second it.

See, people can be nice AND truthful.
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