Non horsey parents think everything a waste of money

[Echo Bravo]

Sometimes parents cann't see beyond what they expected their children to be (like them) only better and had in someway decided on what their careers should be for them and alas we let them down because somewhere in our genes there was a big horsey one and we inherited it.

 

[smellsofhorse]

People that arnt horsey don't realise how much they need looking after.

Even with people that have horses, many don't bother with teeth.
We have a pony on loan (that we are about to buy)
The owners have had him 2 years. He had the vet today for vaccinations ( never had them before)
His teeth were so sharp it cut the vets finger when he was doing the usual initial feel around the mouth!

 

[Sebastian]

The worst thing that parents can do is try to impair their prejudices and their beliefs on their progeny.

 

[SpottyMare]

Some of these posts make me feel sad. I guess I'm lucky - I rode as a kid but had to stop when my parents divorced. However, I now have 2 horses, and my parents, while not being horsey at all are totally supportive. They understand that all my spare income goes on them, and I need to go do them every day and will arrange stuff around me at Christmas etc. My dad and stepmum have said it's probably the best thing I could have done, and always ask after them, and my mum, despite having very little income insists on buying 2 or 3 bags of carrots and apples a week with her groceries for 'her ponies'.

Surely the point of having children is that you're happy when they've found something that makes them happy, even if you don't understand it?

 

[Echo Bravo]

Spottymare, not every parent is like yours and no having children is not making them happy, I was told by my mother we kids were her pension as in keeping her and stepfather in their old age. And I told her Sod that, but my siblings are doing just that, I'm the only one that hasn't been divorced out of the 6 of us.

 

[Midlifecrisis]

SpottyMare you are blessed and if I dwelt on it I could be envious!

 

[Tikimouse]

I had to give up lessons aged 14 because my parents couldn't afford them. when I was a lot younger thought they could just get £400 out the cash machine to buy me a pony.

Now I think my dad is pleased I'm back into it. My mum thinks I should only ever loan and comes home with horsey tips from her work colleague who has horses. And despite not being a fan always has a 'treat bag' for the pony when I visit. My grandparents - well they think I could ride for the next Olympics (I can't even ride at a local show haha!)

i never discuss money with them,especially as I am repaying them a loan they gave me for my car!

 

[SpottyMare]

Spottymare, not every parent is like yours and no having children is not making them happy, I was told by my mother we kids were her pension as in keeping her and stepfather in their old age. And I told her Sod that, but my siblings are doing just that, I'm the only one that hasn't been divorced out of the 6 of us.

No - I know. I just don't understand the point/mentality of being obstructive about things that are in existence and unlikely to change - like ones offspring's life revolving around horses (or motorbikes or anything else). Acceptance is much more peaceful all round I'd like to think that if I'd had kids I wouldn't be dismissive of their interests, but you never know do you? Kudos to you for going against expectations and being yourself

 

[diamonddogs]

Sorry it's a bit long, but worth every word. I can't credit the writer because it was passed to me without.

My daughter turned sixteen years old today; which is a milestone for most people. Besides looking at baby photos and childhood trinkets with her, I took time to reflect on the young woman my daughter had become and the choices she would face in the future.

As I looked at her I could see the athlete she was, and determined woman she would soon be.

I started thinking about some of the girls we knew in our town who were already pregnant, pierced in several places, hair every color under the sun, drop outs, drug addicts and on the fast track to no where, seeking surface identities because they had no inner self esteem.

The parents of these same girls have asked me why I "waste" the money on horses so my daughter can ride. I'm told she will grow out of it, lose interest, discover boys and all kinds of things that try to pin the current generation's "slacker" label on my child. I don't think it will happen, I think she will love and have horses all her life. ...........

Because my daughter grew up with horses she has compassion. She knows that we must take special care of the very young and the very old. We must make sure those without voices to speak of their pain are still cared for.

Because my daughter grew up with horses she learned responsibility for others than herself. She learned that regardless of the weather you must still care for those you have the stewardship of. There are no "days off" just because you don't feel like being a horse owner that day. She learned that for every hour of fun you have there are days of hard slogging work you must do first.

Because my daughter grew up with horses she learned not to be afraid of getting dirty and that appearances don't matter to most of the breathing things in the world we live in. Horses do not care about designer clothes, jewelry, pretty hairdos or anything else we put on our bodies to try to impress others. What a horse cares about are your abilities to work within his natural world, he doesn't care if you're wearing $80.00 jeans while you do it.

Because my daughter grew up with horses she learned about sex and how it can both enrich and complicate lives. She learned that it only takes one time to produce a baby, and the only way to ensure babies aren't produced is not to breed. She learned how babies are planned, made, born and, sadly, sometimes die before reaching their potential. She learned how sleepless nights and trying to outsmart a crafty old broodmare could result in getting to see, as non-horse owning people rarely do, the birth of a true miracle.

Because my daughter grew up with horses she understands the value of money. Every penny can be translated into bales of hay, bags of feed or farrier visits. Purchasing non-necessities during lean times can mean the difference between feed and good care, or neglect and starvation. She has learned to judge the level of her care against the care she sees provided by others and to make sure her standards never lower, and only increase as her knowledge grows

Because my daughter grew up with horses she has learned to learn on her own. She has had teachers that cannot speak, nor write, nor communicate beyond body language and reactions. She has had to learn to "read" her surroundings for both safe and unsafe objects, to look for hazards where others might only see a pretty meadow. She has learned to judge people as she judges horses. She looks beyond appearances and trappings to see what is within.

Because my daughter grew up with horses she has learned sportsmanship to a high degree. Everyone that competes fairly is a winner. Trophies and ribbons may prove someone a winner, but they do not prove someone is a horseman. She has also learned that some people will do anything to win, regardless of who it hurts. She knows that those who will cheat in the show ring will also cheat in every other aspect of their life and are not to be trusted.

Because my daughter grew up with horses she has self-esteem and an engaging personality. She can talk to anyone she meets with confidence, because she has to express herself to her horse with more than words. She knows the satisfaction of controlling and teaching a 1000 pound animal that will yield willingly to her gentle touch and ignore the more forceful and inept handling of those stronger than she is. She holds herself with poise and professionalism in the company of those far older than herself.

Because my daughter grew up with horses she has learned to plan ahead. She knows that choices made today can effect what happens five years down the road. She knows that you cannot care for and protect you investments without savings to fall back on. She knows the value of land and buildings. And that caring for your vehicle can mean the difference between easy travel or being stranded on the side of the road with a four horse trailer on a hot day.

When I look at what she has learned and what it will help her become, I can honestly say that I haven't "wasted" a penny on providing her with horses. I only wish that all children had the same opportunities to learn these lessons from horses before setting out on the road to adulthood.

 

[Cowpony]

This is lovely!

 

[orionstar]

What a fantastic post!

 

[Equi]

Oh I've been asked for years! Despite the fact I've had boy friends and never had a close female friend that I could even be remotely seen to be being romantic with!

 

[Snowy Celandine]

Great post OP I must apply for membership of the 50+ club too because even after my grandfather (who was very horsey) bought me my first pony as a young child my parents still don't 'get it'!! I actually managed to have two very different horses at one point and fool my parents into thinking they were the same horse because both the 13.3 hh mare and the 15.3 hh gelding were grey, albeit one was steel grey and one was rapidly becoming flea-bitten. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, ha ha.

 

[NativePonyLover]

Some of these posts make me feel sad. I guess I'm lucky - I rode as a kid but had to stop when my parents divorced. However, I now have 2 horses, and my parents, while not being horsey at all are totally supportive. They understand that all my spare income goes on them, and I need to go do them every day and will arrange stuff around me at Christmas etc. My dad and stepmum have said it's probably the best thing I could have done, and always ask after them, and my mum, despite having very little income insists on buying 2 or 3 bags of carrots and apples a week with her groceries for 'her ponies'.

Surely the point of having children is that you're happy when they've found something that makes them happy, even if you don't understand it?

Some of these responses have made me sad & realise how I'm very lucky, too. My parents are only horsey 'by default' but actually, pretty much see P as being a 'family pet'. My Mum bless her, will routinely buy big packs of sugar free polo's for him & they are both happy to help out where they can. Occasionally it's financially - Mum bought EVA matting as I had a disastrous month, but knew it would help come winter. Dad's coming up the yard tomorrow to fit them for me.

Both regularly offer to do him for me, so I can have a lie in or do something unhorsey. It does helps that Mum took very early retirement. She also loves coming to watch lessons or come for a walk whilst I hack, take photos & generally faff about with him. She loves coming to watch horsey events too.

I am SO lucky, as I get to spend time with them, I probably otherwise wouldn't. Between the horse, working full time & a social life - it's nice to still be a close knit family. Neither have any intention of riding themselves, but I think both like the outdoors lifestyle.

 

[FionaM12]

I'm 58 and have a horse, but neither my Mum or any of the rest of my family except my daughter know! :redface3: I just don't want the criticism and flack I'd get (for health reasons, for the cost and because I'm waaaay too old ).

A horse is quite a big item to keep secret, but I have for three and a half years now!

 

[NZJenny]

My mother thought it was pretty cool that we were getting a "foal" and all her friends were just getting bog-standard grand children.

Sister supplied the grand children a few years later.

 

[Alyth]

Some of these posts make for very sad reading.....what happened to supporting your children and helping them to achieve their dreams? My parents promised me a pony if I passed the 11+ exam....which I did So they kept their promise....when I outgrew my first pony there was a bit of talk about selling her to buy me a new one but my little brother said he would ride Judy....so parents had 2 riding children Both mum and dad got very involved with pony club, on the committee, helping in various ways and always supported Richard and me....this maxim I tried to carry on with my kids, even though it was motor bikes and rugby And I am still riding in my early 70s If you have the passion no-one can quench it and it doesn't die

 

[kez1001]

I am slightly surprised that I am not alone!

I have very non horsey parents. My first riding lessons were funded by my pocket money and I had to catch two trains and walk a mile to get to the stables. My first loan pony was funded by a Saturday job. It's never been easy but it's certainly been worth it.

In some ways I don't blame my parents for not wanting to spend their money on buying me a horse or driving me to and from a stable yard everyday, it's really does impact greatly on lifestyle. However I do think they could be more positive. My mum in particular would do anything to have me give up the horse. I've lost count of how many times her asking if the horse will be sold now and it's worse since I have my own daughter.

One thing it does shape is my outlook for my daughter. I am asked by horsey friends all the time if I am looking to buy her a pony yet (she's only 2yo) and I reply the same way every time. If she shows passion for anything, from ballet, gymnastics etc I will support HER passion 110% as I never want her to feel forced to be someone she's not.

 

[Midlifecrisis]

I'm 58 and have a horse, but neither my Mum or any of the rest of my family except my daughter know! :redface3: I just don't want the criticism and flack I'd get (for health reasons, for the cost and because I'm waaaay too old ).

A horse is quite a big item to keep secret, but I have for three and a half years now!

Wow Fiona that's an amazing secret to have been kept for so long!

 

[Midlifecrisis]

Some of these posts make for very sad reading.....what happened to supporting your children and helping them to achieve their dreams? My parents promised me a pony if I passed the 11+ exam....which I did So they kept their promise....when I outgrew my first pony there was a bit of talk about selling her to buy me a new one but my little brother said he would ride Judy....so parents had 2 riding children Both mum and dad got very involved with pony club, on the committee, helping in various ways and always supported Richard and me....this maxim I tried to carry on with my kids, even though it was motor bikes and rugby And I am still riding in my early 70s If you have the passion no-one can quench it and it doesn't die

Alyth I hope I am doing the best for my daughter and I hope she will look back and think thank you mum for supporting me in all my endeavours (she sings - acts - plays piano and guitar and rides). I also hope I am riding when I am in my 70s - you are right about the passion.

 

[Midlifecrisis]

Sorry it's a bit long, but worth every word. I can't credit the writer because it was passed to me without.

I remember seeing that quote sometime on here during the past couple of years - a fathers tribute to his daughter ...USA based I think and I thought it was brilliantly put together...and now that I have been reminded of it I may use quotes to my mother when she wonders why daughter has the pony...

 

[Equi]

What a fantastic post!

It was supposed to be a rant its cheered me up lots though reading everyone elses situations

 

[Crugeran Celt]

My parents are not horsey at all, they took me for lessons when I was a child as apparently as soon as I could talk I wanted to ride. They could never have afforded a horse for me as I was the youngest of six children and the only one interested in horses. As soon as I started earning I had my own horse and now 30 years on I have five, two horses and three minis. My parents still don't get it but they love the minis and come up to give them apples and carrots. They think horses are a complete waste of money and worry about my financial commitment which does make me laugh as I have my own land and stables and as they are all good doers all five probably cost less to keep than one would at livery. My parents will never get my love of horses.

 

[Equi]

Yeah same. Mine don't cost me anything other than the teeth & back type things. If I had to pay livery my parents would yap even more.

 

[Ibblebibble]

my dad doesn't really 'get' pets but accepts that people have them, but only 1 at a time seems acceptable to him lol, i have 3 dogs and with the 2nd and 3rd it was 'what do you need another dog for' I have 2 horses and daughter has pony and yep i've had the, but you can't ride 2 at once so why do you need another? I used to feel the need to try and justify it but now i just laugh and ignore it. I have told him that if they had let me have a dog and a pony when i was a child i wouldn't have to make up for it by having so many now lol. oh and I'm 43 and always been a contrary monkey so he should know that voicing his disapproval will probably have the effect of making me get more not less!

 

[Cowpony]

It was supposed to be a rant its cheered me up lots though reading everyone elses situations

Oh dear Equi, you have lot to learn about ranting! When I read your post I thought how balanced and kind it was! Not a bad thing on here mind.

 

[Equi]

Oh dear Equi, you have lot to learn about ranting! When I read your post I thought how balanced and kind it was! Not a bad thing on here mind.

lmao! Ill take that as a compliment

 

[FestiveFuzz]

I'm the same age as the OP and don't really see what the issue is unless you're expecting your parents to pay for the dentist. At the end of the day a lot of my non-horsey friends would be aghast to discover just how much I spend on H each month and he's a cheapy lives off thin air, front shod only type.

 

[keri66]

I ask my family for nothing so they can shut the ****** up. What I choose to spend the money I work hard to earn on is absolutely bu**er to do with them.
Sorry just not loving my family at the moment

 

[Equi]

I'm the same age as the OP and don't really see what the issue is unless you're expecting your parents to pay for the dentist. At the end of the day a lot of my non-horsey friends would be aghast to discover just how much I spend on H each month and he's a cheapy lives off thin air, front shod only type.

I pay my own way, just tired of the constant jibes and petty remarks. It wears you down eventually!