Non Horsey People Say The Funniest Things

[Sirreal]

While riding my 13.2hh gelding with a horse and a welsh a, a child said " Daddy, Mummy and Baby" pointing at them in height order. Mine was "Mummy", even though he was having a p*ss at the time with his willy out

 

[qwertyuiop]

I got asked at work whether my horse was a boy or a girl. I answered that he is a gelding. They then asked whether I was going to breed from him at some point.

The thought crossed my mind that this person should be gelded to stop them breeding and polluting the human gene pool!

 

[hannah9000]

Has anyone else noticed that the funniest comments have come from the male variety...?!

 

[devilwoman]

My mum asked me the other day if i've been out in my "buggy" today ?????? she meant been out driving, couldn't help laughing at the thought of me fat and forty sitting in a baby buggy lol

 

[JessandCharlie]

PMSL!

One particularly bright friend of mine has come out with a couple of crackers:
Pointing at a SJer wearing leather tendon boots "Oooh look, a horse with gladiator sandals on"
And when driving down a country lane and passing a horse with a trace clip "Oooh! A horse with two textures!"

She makes me laugh

 

[SecretSquirrell379]

YO's Grand-daughter was having a chat with her the other day about babies, she was taking the conversation very seriously, she then asked 'did Cropi come out of Niclars (she can't say my name properly!) tummy then?' bless her

 

[Thelwell_Girl]

PMSL!

One particularly bright friend of mine has come out with a couple of crackers:
Pointing at a SJer wearing leather tendon boots "Oooh look, a horse with gladiator sandals on"
And when driving down a country lane and passing a horse with a trace clip "Oooh! A horse with two textures!"

She makes me laugh

Fab

 

[Spit That Out]

I had a non horsey friend come and stay with me for the weekend. I took her to the yard on the Sunday morning to show her my new horse. She fed him carrots and then asked...

"So when does he get the meat!?!"

I was like "i don't understand"...

"Well it's Sunday and he's had his veg so when does he get his meat!?!"


Bless!!!!

 

[FFF]

One of my horses got out onto the road wearing his fly mask and a woman that tried to help said she would report us to the RSPCA for blindfolding him We had to take the mask off to show her he could still see

I have also been asked *ahem* how it feels to have something moving like that between my legs if you get what I mean I was 14 at the time!

 

[Saucisson]

I remember my Dad telling us that he was in the vicinity of a footie match when a smart ass shouted at one of the mounted police woman
“Your horse looks knackered missus”

Quick as a flash, she turned round and said,
“So would you be if you'd been between my legs for 2 hours” Good girl!

Maybe she'd heard it more than once before.................

 

[Aoibhin]

ive had they are not wearing any clothes (no rugs)

wont she fall over? when getting on Cooie sidesaddle?

but the best by far was being reported to RSPCA cos i had gagged & bound them, our local RSPCA officer has a dirty sense of humor & asked it SWA was into bondage?? (now i have really odd images of him in my brain!!!)

 

[9tails]

Hacking out with reflective leg wraps on:

Kid "ooh, stripy socks"
Dad "they're to keep its legs warm"

In July.

When I first bought my horse, my non horsey parents had a conversation about all the "anoraks" she had. "Surely she wouldn't go out in the field when it's raining?" said my mother.

 

[jessamess]

I've had-

me- ''Must go got to give Tiger a bath for our show tomorrow''
my Aunty- ''Oh my you must need one hell of a big bath''

 

[eatonbraynat]

This one i actually did myself and i was soooo embarrassed!! When i was about 12 i was well into reading loads of horse care books. I was down the yard and pointed at one girls rug and made a comment about the 'surgical'. Of course i meant surcingle and the other girl couldnt stop laughing!!! I felt really really stupid

 

[Ottinmeg]

my 6 and 7 year old the other day asked me how horses made babies....

once when i thought 2 of mine had gone AWOL (they were hiding in the trees ) i reported them to the police as loose and when she read back my description she said 'and the brown one is wearing four white socks?!

 

[happyhack]

PMSL at a show at the weekend we took a shettie x. Someone stopped us and asked how old she was. We said "She's 26", they said "months?" us "no....years" "So when will she be fully grown then?"

 

[Swift08]

Some of these are brilliant! I was told once by a man that my horse was very good to let me ride him because he can't see... I didnt have the heart to tell him that it was infact a fly mask

 

[Annagain]

My friend brought her little boy to see the horses and Archie decided to have a wee. Will thought this was hilarious and shouted, "look mummy that horse has got a fold away willy! Can I have one?" We laughing so hard we couldn't stand up.

My OH always calls rugs 'coats'. He knows they're rugs really but likes to wind me up.

 

[BobbyMondeo]

I remember my Dad telling us that he was in the vicinity of a footie match when a smart ass shouted at one of the mounted police woman
“Your horse looks knackered missus”

Quick as a flash, she turned round and said,
“So would you be if you'd been between my legs for 2 hours” Good girl!

Maybe she'd heard it more than once before.................

Thats brilliant!!!! =D

 

[trakehnersrock!]

My friend brought her little boy to see the horses and Archie decided to have a wee. Will thought this was hilarious and shouted, "look mummy that horse has got a fold away willy! Can I have one?" We laughing so hard we couldn't stand up.

My OH always calls rugs 'coats'. He knows they're rugs really but likes to wind me up.

Love the fold-away willy idea!!! Bless!

 

[wilsha]

i was asked which one was the headcollaer and whant is a "numner"-spelt like that too!
i was also asked if whips hurted horses
why cant you use a hairdryer and hair straighteners on a horse?
dont th nails that the farrier puts in hurt the horse?
somebody asked me my horses name i said HES called JACK she then asked if he was a boy or a girl
i met a friends dad while i was riding and he was riding his horse- he knew my horse slightly and knew who i was then my pony went up to his gelding and he said "watch out for your mare you know what they can be like she is a mare isnt she?"
my dad asked why i dressing my pony in a balaclava-he looks like a terrorist!- he was just wearing his hoodie

 

[Cinnamontoast]

From my deeply un-horsey OH 'Is that the noonoo you ordered on ebay?' as I removed a front riser from the packaging. Think he meant numnah.

He insists on telling everyone that I've gone to read Beau a bed time story when I go to finish off at the end of the day and regularly brings colleagues in full uniform to see the 'pony'. The locals must think I'm a prolific criminal!

Cracking comment from my 4 yr old nephew when I took him to ride a very quiet lead rein pony: 'I don't want to do jumps'. Bless, it was his first time, we weren't going for the Puissance!

 

[tinkandlily]

I was out riding once and got stopped by an elderly lady, she gave my horse a stroke and asked me how much my butchers bill was, i thought she was joking, then she asked me what kind of meat i fed her

 

[Serenity087]

I had the day off school (was sick, probably) and was riding my old pony, a bright bay dartmoor.

Old lady walks past and then asks why I wasn't in school. Told her I was sick.

"Well you shouldn't be riding your donkey then!"

 

[Luci07]

I too have mislead colleagues when talking about "putting my boy to bed".. doh, also, a friend asked what I did at the weekend "oh, great, I had a jumping lesson" "strange" she replied " I thought you COULD ride already".

and when a friend came to watch dressage - why was my horse wearing legwarmers? (bandages!)

 

[Angelbones]

Mum had her garden open for charity last week and one of the old dears who came asked me why my goat was tethered to the fence. It was my shetland pony, tied up for grooming!

 

[tallyho!]

Love the little boy who wondered if his eye would grow back - so sweet.

Bless.

A friend told her friend whilst introducing us that I had horses and said "she has a spotty one at the moment" to which the newly introduced said "oh what a pity, will it be ok?"

 

[trendybraincell]

I've never been asked about feeding them meat?! Very weird, have had most of the previously mentioned comments though

A few years ago The Welsh Cob was used for a demonstration at a couple of local schools, nothing special but at the end we answered questions from the kids...who were probably about 5-7 I guess. One little boy asked me if Shadow was a boy or a girl, I said he was a boy, he then asked how could you tell? I asked if he knew the difference between a little girl and a little boy? He said no......I was a little stuck after this!

 

[hannabanana]

I've had a few funny ones. I was out not so long ago and passed a dad with his kid and was explaining to his kid that the socks were to keep his feet warm and dry....they were brushing boots and it was spring. Oh and I've been out with my fly fringe on (the over the ear kind) and another daddy told his daughter it was to keep his ears warm and that he was probably an arabian horse (hes a IDXTB)

Another one was a few year ago, when my friend fell off her pony and it ran away and headed for the main road so I chased it, when i got to the road a nice man had got out the car and caught her, when i got off my horse he said 'Oh your cart has slid under its belly'...It was the saddle XD

 

[FinkleyAlex]

Had to explain the fact he'd had strangles in the past didn't mean he'd actually been strangled to a rather concerned OH. Said OH also asks if 'haybags' are cruel, why I'm going to 'Hack' again (he thought it was a place) and a few other gems.