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smokey

smokey

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Probably posting on the wrong forum, I've been away for a week, and it's all changed! Anyway, I'm posting with a heavy heart, and in tears. I think I'm going to have to sell my girl. Finances, both domestic and business wise are at an all time low. Can't meet bills, and am robbing Peter to pay Paul constantly at the moment. I can't see another way out of it, we have 4 children and I can't justify them having to do without while I continue to spend on my horse. I've had her since she was a baby, and I swore I'd never part with her. I feel awful, every time I think of it I just break down. We just can't afford to keep her. I'm trying to think of the benefits for us all, including her, but I feel so guilty.
 
Hugs to you Smokey. Its horrible, but I think you're probably doing the right thing. Loaning can so often result in them coming back without warning at a time that you can't afford. You have to focus on finding her a home where they will adore her... I hated selling our stepson's pony when he outgrew him (finances at the time were another factor) and choked up with guilt every time I went near him for the fortnight before he went (he was probably glad to get away from the hysterical me blubbing all the time!). He went to a little girl who is having so much fun with him and loves him to bits...
 
I did consider that, but I don't want her to be passed back and forth. I had someone express an interest in her a while ago, and I know he would give her a good home. I'm going to e- mail him later and find out if he is still interested. If not, I don't know what I'll do, I want to be sure that she's going to be loved where she goes, and I don't know how I can guarantee that.
Thank you honey 08, this is exactly my problem, I'm wracked with guilt, and can't even think about it without welling up. Was in tears in front of no 1 son today, and he looked devastated.daughters just come in, and she thought someone had died, as I'm in bits. I never cry, and right now I can't stop.
 
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Well, I made the call, and just about got through it without breaking down. He doesn't know if he can take her at the moment, but will put some feelers out for me. Now I need to think about how much she's worth to someone else, she's worth the world to me, so it's not easy.
 
I haven't got anything constructive to say really just wanted to send you some support, it must be such a heartbreaking decision to make.


Oh may not be applicable but have you considered sending her to one of the equine colleges - I know myerscough were looking recently? May be a good way of loaning her in a reliable way, lots of horses can adapt to college life.
 
She's a Clydesdale Blaze, not sure how suitable she'd be. I'm also not keen to loan, I have someone who may be able to take her, I know he would care for her, and I could keep in touch.
Patterdale, it is totally crap, can't even think about it without crying. I know it's the best thing to do, but it's so hard. Thank you x
 
Well, he got back to me, he doesn't have land at the moment, had hoped to move a pony on and make room for another Clydesdale, but can't at the moment. He's going to Have a look round for me, see if he can find me a buyer. I don't know if I can do this, I can't even look at her without crying.
 
Thanks snowflake, I'm thinking I may have to, at least then I can keep some control.
To top off how ***** I'm feeling, I posted a ' how much' thread, stated I had a possible buyer and someone button pushed. Now have an infarction, my first. Wouldn't normally care, but I'm feeling so down, it really upset me.
 
Don't worry about the button pushers! Bunch of sad cases >:(

This is only my opinion of course but I would try to keep hold of her & come to some arrangement ( as I suggested before) I don't think letting go of her will help the way u are feeling. Once money issues are resolved u would be unlikely to get her back. At least knowing she in the field or on loan u know there's light at the end of the tunnel for when u get back on ur feet. Perhaps you could put her on loan with a 1 year (of however long u need) contract? & keep her at current yard?


Failing that u could sell one of the kids.....who needs 4 anyway? :D :D:D:D
 
smokey said:
Thanks snowflake, I'm thinking I may have to, at least then I can keep some control.
To top off how ***** I'm feeling, I posted a ' how much' thread, stated I had a possible buyer and someone button pushed. Now have an infarction, my first. Wouldn't normally care, but I'm feeling so down, it really upset me.
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It never rains but it pours, Smokey you will not be alone struggling and juggling finances to keep things afloat, us mums should run the economy not some overpaid pillock who doens't know the cost of a pint of milk. (Are we allowed to say pint or should it be litre?)

Hopefully spring is not far now and the cost of keeping your horse should go down a bit. I know its not something every family can do, but would your family sit down with you and listen to how horse going is affecting you and how it will continue to affect you for a good time afterwards, years perhaps?

Are you getting working tax credits and child tax credits, they are easy to claim if you look up online you can phone and they send out applications.

Look on moneysavingexpert forum for tips, it's amazing what a little here and there can do. Advice on saving on the shopping, phone bills etc, all add up to significant amounts over a few months. I'm having a clear out and have got almost seven hundred pounds already from stuff that's laid in cupboards for at least four years and never been used!

I read in thh daily wail today about a girl who was actually defrauding the benefits system and taking 60 odd pounds a week in unemployment benefits while she was working. Stupid thing was, if she had been honest and declared her work, she would have received over a hundred pounds in tax credits. D'uh!!

Good luck Smokey :)
 
el_Snowflakes said:
Don't worry about the button pushers! Bunch of sad cases >:(

This is only my opinion of course but I would try to keep hold of her & come to some arrangement ( as I suggested before) I don't think letting go of her will help the way u are feeling. Once money issues are resolved u would be unlikely to get her back. At least knowing she in the field or on loan u know there's light at the end of the tunnel for when u get back on ur feet. Perhaps you could put her on loan with a 1 year (of however long u need) contract? & keep her at current yard?


Failing that u could sell one of the kids.....who needs 4 anyway? :D :D:D:D
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Thank you, I know when it comes to it I probably couldn't let her go permenantly. I came on here today convinced that selling her was my only option, but there have been some good ideas to mull over. I'll sleep on it, and see what tomorrow brings.
Believe me, I always say she's my favourite child, selling a human one may be easier! :D
 
So sorry - it's such a tough decision to make & i'm sure it's a last resort & not one you've made lightly.

I'd try to find a loaner for her - it CAN work if you do your homework & find the right person (ideally someone you know - fingers crossed your man friend will have her). At least that way you still have control over her future - & then maybe a loan will lead to a sale once you know she's happy?

Sending her away to a college CAN work too. I urged a friend who didn't have time to ride her Welsh D mare to send her on loan to a college. She was one of those mares who gets naughty if not worked - she creates her own fun & my friend was starting to dread even taking her out of the field. I thought regular work would be perfect for her, although she was fairly green, the college agreed only to let the more experienced students ride her. She never looked back & got on so well at the college, they eventually bought her.

I feel your pain as we've had to make some tough decisions in the past year too, due to finances, time & health issues. We have gone from 4 horses to currently 2, & by March, we'll be down to 1. I took them off the yard (with facilities) & now rent a field of about 10 acres for £15 a week (mates rates!). Giving them up is totally heartbreaking (i cried for weeks too!). I gave my big cob to a friend for her birthday (bless her, she thought she was having him on loan until i unloaded him with a big ribbon round his neck!), my hubby's big fella went back to the folk we got him from (he'd been a loan to us), my other cob is going to another good friend in March, & i'm keeping my retired TB because he's the only one who couldn't secure himself a future. And, do you know what? Honestly? Sad & gutwrenching as it's been to say goodbye, now we are out the other side, i feel so much better - a weight has been lifted off my shoulders - i don't have to worry about where the next set of shoes is coming from, or feel guilty that i can't ride because i've been having to go to hospital daily until recently. Yet i know each & every one of them is well, safe & loved.

I really hope it all works out for you, one way or another xx
 
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el_Snowflakes said:
Or even turn her away in a field/shoes off etc so minimal costs?
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Very sorry to hear :( And the button pushers are a waste of space :(

^^ This. Any cheap grass livery without school etc? Or anyone who can loan that you know?
Yes they may come back without notice but it buys some time while it's difficult. Any wardrobe that isn't really necessary can be sold off.
Or even a sharer or two will cut costs while maintaining control and still enjoying her.
 
singing dawg said:
It never rains but it pours, Smokey you will not be alone struggling and juggling finances to keep things afloat, us mums should run the economy not some overpaid pillock who doens't know the cost of a pint of milk. (Are we allowed to say pint or should it be litre?)

Hopefully spring is not far now and the cost of keeping your horse should go down a bit. I know its not something every family can do, but would your family sit down with you and listen to how horse going is affecting you and how it will continue to affect you for a good time afterwards, years perhaps?

Are you getting working tax credits and child tax credits, they are easy to claim if you look up online you can phone and they send out applications.

Look on moneysavingexpert forum for tips, it's amazing what a little here and there can do. Advice on saving on the shopping, phone bills etc, all add up to significant amounts over a few months. I'm having a clear out and have got almost seven hundred pounds already from stuff that's laid in cupboards for at least four years and never been used!

I read in thh daily wail today about a girl who was actually defrauding the benefits system and taking 60 odd pounds a week in unemployment benefits while she was working. Stupid thing was, if she had been honest and declared her work, she would have received over a hundred pounds in tax credits. D'uh!!

Good luck Smokey :)
Click to expand...

Thanks for this. The family know how I feel, the tears today were enough to convince them!
We're claiming tax credits etc, but the cost of living is crippling us. OH has dropped earnings significantly in the last few years, and the work just isn't coming in.
I've tried to reduce costs as much as possible, and am looking round for what I can sell off.
I guess I'll just have to dig in, and be tough. And possibly sell a child! :D
 
this is so sad i cant even begin to imagine how your feeling this is my worst nightmare, i really hope your ok. would part loaning be enough to get you by? its increasingly popular at the moment. i would be very cautious if you were considering a loan to a certain equine college mentioned though, my friend sent her IMPECCABLY mannered horse there due to similar circumstaces as your own but they sent her back 3 wks later completely ruined and now shes unable to sell her!
i hope you find a way to keep her, thoughts are with you x
 
What about giving Oatridge college a call, not too far away and it might take the heat off you. They had a couple of big weight carriers and a Clydesdale when I was there, and the horses that settled there were improved by the time the semester ended.
Obviously doesn't suit all horses of course...

You may also find her easy to loan as there is a shortage of good big horses about, just finding the right person:)
 
maybe a stable for Yard work option? Or in an riding school where she would be ridden for a part of the costs?

Very Sad

Maybe horses4homes can help you worth a try to find a loan home

All the best for you and horse
 
Smokey, have you considered contacting the consumer credit council, they are a charity that help you to deal with your creditors and if necessary sort out an appropriate payment plan, and unlike the companies that advertise on tv they won't cost you anything. You should be able to find details of them on Martin Lewis website, although i think they may have had a name change.

I think if you were to discuss the possibility of selling your girl with your children then they would probably not want you to as they know she makes you happy.

I hope you are able to find a solution to your worries x
 
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