OH complaining about horse?? advice

Horseback Rider

Horseback Rider

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As I have posted previously I have been having problems at my new yard because my horse is left out on his own until I can get there at 5.30.

Tonoght I finished work and had to go pick up the car from OH who was taking his time as always. I really lost it woth him as I was so stressed about getting to yard to get horse in so he wasn't stressing !!

Anyway got home and apologised for my behaviour and tried to explain why I have been like that to which he just mentioned that I was to obsessed with my horse and he had spoken to a girl at his work who has horses at home and said that I was making something out of nothing.

If I had my horses at home I wouldn't stress as I could do them as and when I liked but I am at a livery yard and my boy has a habit of jumping out / trying to escape if on his own.

How does everyone else deal with their non horsey OH's ??
 
In this situation I would ask myself, which came first, the horse or the OH?!

Seriously though, is there nobody who could get the horse in for you if you did theirs at some other time?
 
I get them to poo pick :D

You really can't compare having horses at home with at a livery yard where you are bound by someone else's rules. At my field, I can come and go as I please, on Sat when we go to YHL, I'll be down mine at 7 whereas if I were at the livery yard down the lane, I wouldn't be allowed there that early so I'd be late for YHL!
 
Have you not had horse or OH long?

My OH is really understanding but only because I've had a horse for the last five years now and he's learnt alot about their needs, what I can alter and what absolutely has to be done.
 
My OH has got used to me with the horses now. He understands their needs. As above person says, can you find someone to bring yours in for you? Would make life a lot easier.
 
one of our yard rules is that no horse is left on its own and if there is your horse and someone elses left then you bring them both in, and just put the other persons horse in their stable - dont do anything else with their horse tho.

cldnt you have a word with your yard manager/owner and see if this can be done? otherwise maybe someone else would get in your horse for you when they get theres in
 
My non horsey OH is very understandable but I had horses before he came along and its all hes known. He helps as much as he can but sometimes I can be talking horses and he is just agreeing, I could say anything. Our relationship works because he has his hobbies, golf being one of them and I think in his eyes, me having a horse gives him the freedom to do what he wants at weekends.

All the yards Ive ever been on had a rule. Never leave a horse on its own. Last person to bring in, brings any horse in thats left on its own. I cant believe other liveries actualy leave your horse on his own!
 
Tell him if he bought you somewhere to live so your horse was 'at home' then you wouldn't have to stress!!!
Very unhelpful comment from the girl in his office though.
 
Just echoing what other people are saying about getting someone else to get your horse in for you if he is going to be last.

On the yard I'm on we are not allowed to leave one horse out alone (even if it doesn't mind being alone). If I am getting mine in 2nd to last, then I have to get the last one in too.
 
At the moment No ! This is going to sound really bad but the other lady on the yard has 2 13.2 hh ponies and won't go near my 16.2 TB even though he is a complete wuss.

Hopefully in Jan /Feb I will be moving to a field at the back of my brothers house ( he is buying the land ) and I will be getting a field companion so I don't have to worry about there being / not being other liveries there I just need to make it through the winter !!!

glugging large galss of red !!!

I feel bad for complaining as when my horse had colic OH was great and the same when last horse had to be pts xxxx It's just really getting to me today
 
Not much help but thats why the ex is the ex! He didn't understand that horses couldn't feed and exercise themselves and then clean themselves out. I tried getting him involved in the horses but he just didn't want to know. This was the main reason it ended but there were many other things aswell like he was a dictator and selfish :p

Try and get your OH involved in the horses he will either love it or hate it :)
 
My husband is non horsey,constatly moans about my horse and pony.You just cant to seem to get it accross to them sometimes,of how a horse has a need for feeding etc
Boo hoo I say lol.
 
Kokopelli said:
Not much help but thats why the ex is the ex! He didn't understand that horses couldn't feed and exercise themselves and then clean themselves out. I tried getting him involved in the horses but he just didn't want to know. This was the main reason it ended but there were many other things aswell like he was a dictator and selfish :p

Try and get your OH involved in the horses he will either love it or hate it :)
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Sounds just like what my friend went through. She had a saying that horses end in divorces, and in her case sadly it was true. However, she is so much better off now without him.

Not saying for one minute this is the situation with you atall. Your probably having a bad day and this awful weather doesnt help (if its the same where you are anyway)
 
Horseback Rider said:
At the moment No ! This is going to sound really bad but the other lady on the yard has 2 13.2 hh ponies and won't go near my 16.2 TB even though he is a complete wuss.

Hopefully in Jan /Feb I will be moving to a field at the back of my brothers house ( he is buying the land ) and I will be getting a field companion so I don't have to worry about there being / not being other liveries there I just need to make it through the winter !!!

glugging large galss of red !!!

I feel bad for complaining as when my horse had colic OH was great and the same when last horse had to be pts xxxx It's just really getting to me today
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Sounds like generally he is ok. Perhaps you're just very stressed about it all, as any of us would be, and being a bit uptight towards him without realising (something I can do when stressed about something). January/February will be here sooner than you think... Perhaps tell him you're sorry if you're stressing, but it worries you, and he's not helping by not understanding - even if he pretended to understand it would be better, and a hug would help... Meet him half way, and hopefully move on.. Have another glass of wine together!

If the other lady won't bring yours in, could you offer to bring her ponies in later, with your horse, if she left everything done? Ironically ponies are usually much more difficult than horses!
 
I am of the same opinion as Kokopelli!

My ex was insanely jealous of my horse amongst other things...I can't be doing with that kind of behaviour...took me some time but I ended it as I felt I was compromising my happiness and my time with the horse too much for a relationship where I wasn't happy.
 
Am lucky as my OH works long shifts so have a lot of spare time on my hands to spend with the horse. When he's off he's really good comes up the yard with me and helps out with he chores and even walks out with me! He has a passion for motorbikes and often goes out with the boys on a Sunday so we are understanding of each others interests! I've had my mare for 10 years and have had the boyfriend nearly 5! So he knew what he has gearing involved with :). I have to be a bit courteous when he's off and don't take the Mick and spend all day up the yard so we can go out and spend some time together it means I have to compromise and not ride for the odd day.
Good luck with your OH it's always more stressful during the winter and getting everything done we all get tense at times :).
 
I'm very lucky in my OH in that he's completely non-horsey but knows what they mean to me so the one weekend in 3 that I work, he goes up to take care of them for me. He is very supportive of my hobby and to be frank, if he wasn't, I would ditch him.

It does sound like yours is normally supportive of you, and perhaps both of you are getting stressed lately? He has made an effort to find out why you might be stressed with the current situation and unfortunately, has been given poor advice.

Hope you are able to get your situation sorted out, and horse doesn't spend too many days stressed. It's not fun and I had a similar problem with my highland when she jumped out and landed on a gate!
 
my OH sometimes gets grumpy about the time i spend with my 2 darlings but i have the ultimate comeback on him as when he met me i had no wish to be in contact with horses after an accident & he & a good friend (Angua2) got me out for a "quiet" hack that turned into more of a clamity for everyone exept me sat on this darling 30yo not moving rock & me asking "is that it" so now whenever he makes any comments i just reply with "& whos fault is it??"
 
Thanks everyone for your encouragment. Hopefully horse will be moving to land at the back of my brothers house in the new year with space for another livery. But I have decided that I will need to get a full tiem field companion for him as there may be times when other livery isn't there so at least I won't be so worried about it.

Today I have extreme Red wine Head flu !;-)
 
Horseback Rider said:
How does everyone else deal with their non horsey OH's ??
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I ignore them!

Seriously though its not long for your horse to wait on his/ her own. Perhaps if you were calm and not so flustered they would get used to it and be calmer?

Just read last post and think that sounds perfect. A wonderful compromise for all!
 
Tell him to buy you a companion, problem solved!

I had a similar incident with a friend who'd had a conversation with another "expert". Apparently any horse is fine out alone and I worry unnecessarily about bringing her in before she's completely deserted. The latest rubbish is that I should leave her in the field for a weekend alone (she's in at night now) so that we can go away for a weekend. She'll be fine, apparently, says the so-called expert who has never laid eyes on my horse and has her own in a herd situation living out all year round.

We had VERY strong words and I told her "As you know nothing about horses please refrain from telling me what to do". I wanted to thump her though!
 
My OH is seriously unhorsey and says he can always smell me before he sees me! (Hasten to add only when I've been to the horses :D:D).
He used to complain about me spending a lot of time with them so I bought him a Playstation 3! Now my horsey time is his beat em up, hack em to death time:D:D
He did help out though when I had a major op and wasn't allowed to do anything.
 
Helpful comments from girl at work. All horses are different, maybe you could tell him that a horse at our yard ended up with a £1000 vet bill as a result of being left out alone and charging through fences. Box rest, severed tendon you name it.

i've always had two so even though they were always the last out they kept each other company.

I also had horses before OH so he hasn;t much choice. He is very good saying that, with only the very occasional grumble becuase I am no good at compromise!
 
My OH used to complain occasionally about the time I spent with my horse. He accused me of giving horse more attention than I gave him. Not quite true as I gave them both roughly the same amount :D What 'cured' him completely though, was getting him his own horse. Suddenly he realises that horses do have to be fed and exercised and that they are not like cars which can be left in the garage for the weekend if you don't want to drive :rolleyes:
 
I completely understand my boyfriend thinks I am neurotic, they will never understand.
He asked why I insisted on going to the yard in the dark during winter when I said to exercise the horse he went mad saying I was crazy because horses don't need exercise when they run around a field all day. And that no one else would do that.
 
Some people will just never understand and said "EXPERT" if she new so much would have know that all animals are diffrent, I know the horse out with mine would be fine on his own but would never dream of leaving him out when I get mine in and vise versa, the rule on our little yard is whoever get there first gets them both in and it works very well as both stables are left ready in the mornings. Luckily the OH is a farmer and understands why the animals come first, sometimes he does my horse sometimes I feed his cows all swings and roundabouts but it works well for everyone
 
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