Oh hell..... Cybele's deadline made. Advice.

B

Bounty

Well-Known Member
Joined
24 February 2006
Messages
4,231
Location
Gloucestershire
www.freewebs.com
Just arranged it all.
My vet will be coming at around 5/5.30 next Thursday. The JCB driver coming shortly before that to dig the hole, loiter and then fill her in.

Is there anything else I should be doing? How can I help the others understand where she's gone?
Somehow I've been lucky enough to have never been in this situation before.
 
Let them see her once she's gone. Leave them alone with her for a while and they will understand it.

I know I've not been through this myself but a friend had her cushings pony put down at 35 years as he was colicking all the time and really poorly, and I told her to let his girlfriend of 30 years see him as she used to go mental if he was out of sight for 5 seconds.

She did that and the mare stayed with him for a while, and she did seem to grieve, but it seems she realised he'd gone and took it far better than she expected - no hysterical carry on like if he was round the corner.

And you might want to pretend you aren't digging a hole, not entirely legal anymore! Though I'd want to do the same *shhhh*
wink.gif


Hope everything goes calmly and peacefully, will be thinking of you. Just remember though, if your mare is going to stud, the circle of life will be there for you, as one passes on, a new one is created.

J x
 
Ditto GM, leave her with the body. Star and Will were inseperable, and I left her with him for a couple of hours
frown.gif
I really think it helped.

H. xxx
 
The other thing I forgot to mention....
Cybele and Tills are best, best friends. Tills is almost certainly off to stud on friday, which means Cybele will be lost without her for the 6 days, and she won't be here when Tills gets back. I'm hoping that after 4-6 weeks away Tills will just accept the fact the Cybele isn't here anymore?
It sounds harsh, but I'm not sure the other two will care too much if Cybele disappears, they're quite in love with each other and apart from each other they only have eyes for food!
Breaking up the balance of the 'herd' is going to be the worst thing about this.
J, round here no one will ask questions, people build houses and hope that the council won't question them about planning!
blush.gif
 
Agree with the above, also look after yourself, take a flask of tea with lots of sugar youd be so suprised how much you need one after. When I had my dog PTS my OH came with me to drive and we packed lots of tissues. Its nice to have someone else to rely on so if you have someone close who can come then that would help too. Thinking of you xx
 
I was in this position 10 months ago unfortunately. I let one of my mare's see her afterwards, as they were field buddies and I knew she'd call for her. It was actually quite distressing to see her reaction to seeing Twilight's body - I found it as upsetting as the actual lethal injection to be honest. I just led her up to her and she went a bit nuts, squealing and wickering so I led her back in after a few minutes - although I think it made her realise as none of them called for her after that. They all seemed a bit down for a week or two but soon got back to normal. I have my own place so it's very close knit too, I'm sure you'll be OK.

best of luck to you and hugs
x
 
She'll be at home, buried in sight of the house, so I'll have all my family here to support me... though perhaps not my grandad as he's of heartless farming tradition and keeps coming out with quotes such as "If you have livestock then you have to expect dead stock" and "You can buy another one"
 
Thinking of you hun, when Gost was PTS she was in the field with the others (we couldn't and wouldn't have dared move her) the others knew a couple wandered over and the two horses outside the main herd actually stood guard over her. We had her buried on the farm in the dedicated horse cemetary. For me the worst bit was waiting for her to be taken by the JCB up to her final resting place. I had two good friends and hubby on hand who made tea, brought me tissues, cigarettes and knew when to just leave me and her together. If your mare is going to stud for that period of time she may well come back and settle. Although I don't know what to suggest for Cybele whilst she is without friend for 6 days, does she not get on with your other two?
 
sounds like my Grandad! I wouldnt want him around, either. It's very sad having a 'friend' or pet PTS, but at least you know you are doing what is best for the horse. I know people who would rather see animals suffer than call the vet, just in case they have to be PTS
frown.gif
 
as above - I'm not sure that legally you are allowed burial - and the last thing you need is 'officialdom' descending upon you like a ton of bricks

please check out that this is legal before you go ahead.....I don't think it is

On Farm burial is banned and has been for a good few years for farm livestock 'in case of water pollution' (read so that offialdom can make things more difficult for farmers) - hence the concept of the National Fallen Stock Scheme (which does horses) collection service - not for a minute suggesting you use them but I think it does mean you cannot use that JCB you've got lined up.....
 
She gets on with them alright, but doesn't seem to have bonded with them at all. Her and Tills have both had a tough time and seem to find it hard to make bonds with others. Tills has never bonded with anything else we've had, but was besotted with Cybele the minute she alked through the gate.
Cybele couldn't give two hoots about what the others do, but has a special 'thing' for tills.
 
I knew it wasn't legal before ever I actually 'needed' to make these arrangements.
But as it is, we live in a rural area with fields that aren't overlooked and have been building over the last few months anyway, so no-one would think to question us having a JCB here anyway.
I promised her she'd be with us forever, and she will be.
 
thinking of you,

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

ps - plenty of sweet tea or hot choc - when my old mare went last year i went all faint and needed something sweet - vet said it was shock and perfectly normal, then handed me the tea!
 
You will be fine with the burial I am sure. I had our old pony buried, vet just turned a blind eye. Technically if you class your horse as a pet you can apply for permission to have her buried. But there is always the chance you will be turned down so I would just go ahead as you are planning. We let my old girls friends see her, and they took it better than me. I think it is a good thing, they did seem to understand and didn't call as they would have done if I had taken her away. It is not going to be an easy time for you but you can comfort yourself that you are doing the very best for her. Thinking of you.
 
One thing I always intend to do, but sometimes forget, is to take a cutting of mane or tail hair, and this is something you could do in advance..it will be too emotional on the day
 
Our vet just assumed she'd be buried here anyway, or maybe he just knows me too well.
Did you stay with yours till the end? If so how did you manage to hold it together. I <u>WILL</u> stay with her to the end, but want it to be as normal as possible. I don't know how I'm going to hold it together, or will I find inner strength from somewhere?

the_watcher - I have her last set of shoes that were removed when she first went lame, and will probably take some tail hair or similar. She's gonna go looking like a million dollars, so will be bathing her at some point.
 
You can't say how you'll be when it comes down to it. I expected myself to be a hyterical screaming mess (which i was before the vet arrived), but i just stood there, staring at him. Then sat with him for an hour before the creamtorium came. Just talking to him. It didnt really hit me until afterwards.
Our vet obviously let us stay, but we weren't allowed to hold him (the leadrope) - she said that it's instinct for owners to try to catch the horse as it goes down, which can cause injuries / panic. Not sure if your vet will say the same?

I hope it goes ok...or as well as these things can go.

Will be thinking of you.

Can i ask, why is she being put to sleep? Sorry, must have missed your previous posts.

Lou. x
 
I must be honest, I didn't stay with her till the end, cos I was a wreck and knew she would sense it. My ex husband (good for something at least!) actually held her. She had known him for 15 years and he was able to be unemotional about it. I gave her a grooming, then a really nice feed and I am confident she went happy. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your vet, as I have and you must put your trust in him. I'm not sure if you have said how you are having her pts. I had mine shot because she did not like injections and I know it is very quick, but I think injection is maybe less traumatic for the owner. If I can answer any other questions just ask.
 
She's got a number of issues...
She threw a humongus splint in august and went from being in very hard work to nothing at all, and was given about 6 weeks off as the season had pretty much finished anyway. I then brought her back into work slowly and started concentrated on our flatwork. About 2 weeks after coming back into work I went to fetch her in from the field and she was absolutely crippled. So lame on both hinds that she could barely walk. Buted her up to the eyeballs and the vet diagnosed tenosynovitis (irritation/inflammation of the tendon sheaths) in both hinds, and thought she must of somehow damaged herself going loopy in the field. Cybele never goes loppy and I would of seen her if she had, so still have no idea why. Put her on box rest for several weeks, with cold hosing, support bandaging etc. Swelling got better but she seemed to get worse. More investigations, prescribed more time on box rest.
Turns out the the box rest highlighted bone spavins that must have already been present, and her lack of movement reduced the mobilty of the joint. The tenosynovitis is much better now, but all the time has masked the fact that she'd actually torn her SDFT. Her coffin joints are also starting to fuse. She's 9.
frown.gif
 
I stayed with my girlie to the end, we'd had her for 11 brilliant years so I wasn't about to let her go it alone. I was a wreck I have to admit, but she didn't seem to mind. How are you having her PTS? we had the injection and she was also burried on our land, she even has a little head stone I had made. The injection was quick and totally pleasant actually, it's always going to be horrific but the actual process was fantastic and so peaceful and afterwards both mum and I said 'what a way to go'. Vet asked to hold the rope as he didn't want her to fall on anyone, gave her the injection then within 15 seconds she laid down and peacefully slipped away, her heart had stopped by 30 seconds, there was no drama, no mess, no pain but I was still in pieces.

One thing I was worried about was that perhaps I wouldn't be able to get that day out of my head and instead of remembering all the good years I would come back to that day - but of course I don't.

Very emotional time, my pony also looked a million dollars which in a way made it harder but then would you want it any other way? I know I wouldn't want my proud little pony to have looked old or ill.

Hope it goes as well as it can do, I love this poem, I found it helped me although always makes me cry!:

http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html

She'll be there waiting for you
smile.gif
 
I would prefer to have her shot really, but she is very headshy when being handled by other people, men particularly. She hates injections too, but I am planning to have her sedated a little first so that her last thoughts aren't "[****], it's the vet".
She's very much a one person horse and will only trust me, so I do have to be there. If I wasn't there I'd only beat myself up about it, so i can't win either way. I'm just praying that I somehow manage to keep it together for her.
 
I admire you for being so determined. Don't know if it would help but try some rescue remedy before the vet comes, for yourself. My daughter gets very stressed about exams etc. and finds it really helps. Hopefully if you give Cybele some ACp before the vet comes she will be calm and I am sure you will be strong for her.
 
You will find the strength to stay with her. I stayed with mine and it was a bit traumatic as the first lethal injection did not work and she was still standing there 10 minutes after it went in! She had already been sedated so was dopey thankfully. The second one worked ok. The vet &amp; i both needed the extra sweet tea after that. I'm glad i saw it through otherwise i'd always have nightmares imagining it. It was 5 years ago this Friday but still feels like yesterday sometimes.
 
Thanks guys for all your advice, wonderful to be a member of this forum as always.
I know my memories of her will last a lifetime, and there are a hell of a lot of good ones ready to out number the bad.

Fel a bit happier tonight, took a load of photos of her over to her old groom that I bought her through (She was previously a polo pony, and was on her way to the abbatoir when I bought her). I'd told her repeatedly how well we'd been doing, but I don't think she'd quite grasped how well until she saw the photos. She was in tears.
The guys that broke her in wrote her off as soon as they'd started her, and then proceeded to emotionally wreck her seeing as she was never, in their opinion, going to end up as a super expensive polo machine. They were the one's who were sending her to slaughter. Tonight they have seen the pics and have sent me a message saying that they are very impressed and next time will not write something off so quickly, and well done.
That means everything to me. I feel like i've fought her corner for her, and that she really has risen above the awful start they gave her.
 
How terrible. Well done for being so responsible though.

I luckily have not lost one yet, however I have 2 veterans who will stay with me til the end so one day I will have to make the decisions (I thought Id lost not long ago).

Personally, I will stay with them until the end. I couldn't leave them, eventhough I know it would be horrendously upsetting, I know Id regret it otherwise. I dont know how you hold it together in these situations, I guess you just do? If not, it doesn't matter, you cant help it.

Just make sure to give her so many treats before the date, lots of lovely feed and cuddles which'll make you feel better too etc. Best of luck to you. x
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top