Ok, I am after some good old fashioned HHO advice - should I/shouldn't I?

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minkymoo

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Right, This might be a long/rambling post, but bear with me ok? :D

So, When I was first looking for a horse to buy 5 years ago, I *really* wanted an Andalusian. I had been to North Farm Andalusians, rode a couple in a lesson and sat on one of their Advanced Dressage Stallions. Hooked.

However, at the time, I couldn't afford one, the cheapest I found was a 3 yo lightly backed stallion at 7500, over budget and being a first time horse owner thought it would easily end in disaster, so passed and got my gorgeous Anglo Arab.

Fast forward 5 years, I am much more experienced, much more confident and a better rider. I have been having lessons with an excellent trainer for the last 18 months and my horse has come on leaps & bounds, as have I.

So, the issue is this. I got made redundant and got a generous payout. I have found a gorgeous Andalusian yearling for sale. I could afford to keep 2 horses and have interviews lined up for a new job. My OH is behind me with whichever decision I make.

I also want a family. I had a miscarriage a month ago which was awful, but me & OH have decided to keep trying.

Should I do it? I would have all the support I need from YO, OH and friends. I really want to. I mean really, but is it *sensible*?

Any advice gratefully received and I will answer questions honestly :) Thanks!
 
If it were me, I would wait til I knew I had a job (as would need the income - if you don't then don;t wait!!) and then go for it. It is a yearling, so if you become pregnant and have a child,t he child will be almost school age by the time new horse is ready to be ridden! Excellent timing.
 
I personally would go for it, if you can afford it and have the time...just think carefully what will happen should you fall pregnant again.
It is doable though, I have several horses (including yearlings) and four small children and I manage, its just about managing your time effectively.
Good luck!
 
Can your OH afford (and does he /want/ to afford), long term, to keep
- you
- two horses
- child(ren)
thereby giving you enough time to ride/mother everything?

If so go for it.

Otherwise decision is harder.
 
I was in the same boat as you and i went ahead and got the horse even though it was completely illogical and impractical. I don't regret doing it for a second.

life is short and all you have is the present moment. my horse gives me such absolute pleasure and enjoyment that i am so glad i did it. I had a friend who kept putting off her dream holiday due to work, and tragically she died in a car accident three years ago. Since then I've always been braver with decisions.

As regards the baby issue, im in exactly the same boat and a lot of it is out of your hands. I find riding relaxes and destresses me, so it can only be a good thing. My horse is a flighty exracer so completely impractical for riding when pregnant, but i'l cross that bridge when i come to it!
 
Ok, my old fashioned advise is....go for it now. It may take you sometime to get pregnant again or it may happen tonight, you may not get back into work due to the economy or being pregnant or you could walk into a job tomorrow. If you can afford it now, afford it with a child, afford it with no job then I cant see a problem. Life is short and none of us has a clue how it will pan out.
 
I so want to. Really, really do.

It is a very generous payout, I could easily not work for a year, so in the short-term, money is fine.

There is a no children policy at the yard, so regardless of whether I had 1 horse or 2, taking sproglett with me wouldn't be an option. I do however have an awesome mother & mother in law, both whom live locally and I am sure would love to spend time with their grandchild... (crossing fingers, though I am 99.99% sure this would be the case!).

Good point about the timing Brandy - I like your thinking! :D
 
Ok, Just seen your posts Paddi & spaniel.

I will discuss it with the OH tonight. I am also going to have a chat with my best friend who has 2 children & 2 horses & events.

I did ride when I was pregnant, I just didn't gallop or pop over any logs. My Dr told me riding had nothing to do with the miscarriage, it was just unfortunate.

I know that life is too short and do not want another horse related regret! (That is another story!;))
 
I'd go for it - if you can afford it whether or not you get this job - because the children business is uncertain and you can't put your life on hold, surely? But I often have a common sense bypass on a Monday afternoon (for the life of me, I still can't quite see the problem with putting a mini in a land rover, but I'm sure I'm being thick as it must be a bad idea!) so I wouldn't necessarily take my advice :p
 
Go for it, sounds like you have more positives than negatives and as others say, life is too bloody short! Enjoy ...........
 
Go for it!! Life is too short and it sounds like you have a fabulous support system in place. Its not often that an opportunity comes around like that were you can follow your dream... it looks like it has for you and I'm very envious! Good luck with your new horsey and good luck with the family! :)
 
Firstly, I' like to say how sorry I am to hear you lost your baby.

I would advise, go for it!

I waited 25 year between having my children and now I regret that the age of 50, that I have missed out.
I'm so painfully aware that I could of done so much more, as I was a good horserider and had a lot more whoooooooo and bounce once upon a time.

You only live to regret the things you didn't do;)
 
As many have said - life too short - and you would spend the rest of the time wondering "what if" if you don't do it.

It's not like you haven't gone through and thought about all the pros and cons, so you'll be well prepared too.

Go for it, and most selfishly from me, let us know what you decide - showing us the pics when you buy him/her!:D
 
Thank you for all your advice. This is the reason I love this forum - it is sometimes easy to forget why we are all here!

I have had photos emailed, he is beautiful, I have also had some family members pics sent too. Taking sensible head off for just a second - OMFG! delicious is all I can say.

Sensible head back on - have had a chat with OH and though he is concerned about money, the pics of the little chaps black brothers (sounds v un-pc that doesn't it!) did have him v interested :D

So, Going to email back and see if I can make an appt to see him this week.

Need to get my 2 interviews done tomoz & weds so wish me luck!

And thanks elsbells, it really was an awful experience, but a month later I really do feel ok about it. I guess it was just natures way of making sure it is all right, which is better than it not being if that makes sense... I am so lucky to have a wonderful husband and family & friends, and the horse obviously! However, that is all a subject better fitting in SB I think! x x
 
Miscarriage/baby new horse...new job

How about new job & baby and see how you are after and then new horse. Sort out the baby bit first and of course a new job. You can get a horse now anytime..but a baby etc

Been there good luck it can all happen but just not all at once?!! Too much pressure on your self.
 
indie999 said:
Miscarriage/baby new horse...new job

How about new job & baby and see how you are after and then new horse. Sort out the baby bit first and of course a new job. You can get a horse now anytime..but a baby etc

Been there good luck it can all happen but just not all at once?!! Too much pressure on your self.
Click to expand...

ahhh but concentrating on getting pregnant is a sure fire way of ensuring you don't get pregnant, soooooooo would be a good idea to get new horse to take mind off baby matters and hey presto before you know it baby time:D
My advice is go for it, :D:D
 
My take on the matter would be to wait.
When you have a new job and get pregnant you are going to be worried about another miscarriage (which I am sure will not happen)
Pregnant, working and two horses is going to be tiring but not as tiring as having a baby, sleepless nights and two horses!
 
I would go for it, simply because, this yearling is now in the picture and I'm a huge believer in fate when it comes to matching us with our horses (and other things!).

Also, because you really really want to. And I fear that if you don't, you may always say "what if".
 
buy it , buy it , buy it :D
life is too short to fanny about :p and anyway they say if you try too hard its unlikley to happen (pregnancy that is) so go chill out live your dream :)

BTW ive never had a fancy for that type of horse but have recently been lucky enough to spend time watching a few being ridden and i've got to say i'm very impressed with there temprements in general ,they seem to be lovely kind genuine sorts :)
 
Looking at it purely from a mercenary point of view, he will be worth much more as a 3yr old than a yearling, so if you have a child and decide to cut back on horses then you shouldnt lose anything.
 
I'm inclined to say "go for it", life's too short. But with a few words of caution as a caveat.

A few years ago I found myself out of work but had a nice amount of money in the bank. After careful calculation, I decided to have a year out whilst looking around for another job. Having been horseless for a year or so, I also decided to buy myself another horse thinking I'd at least have plenty of time to enjoy him before having to rejoin the rat race!

Several months later, said horse bolted with me, I came off and broke my arm quite badly. The resultant nerve damage meant I couldn't use my hand properly and thus couldn't get a job as much of my previous work was keyboard based. Two years down the line, I was still unable to get a job (out of work too long to be of interest I guess). I was rapidly running out of money so sold my car and had to put my lovely horse out on loan.

Happily I now work, albeit in a totally different role. This is just as well as the loan didn't work out and my horse is currently being re-schooled at great expense!

I've now decided to have my horse back rather than sell him, although with some trepidation and no small amount of nerves not to mention the tantrums being thrown by the jealous boyfriend!

So, I guess I'm saying "go for it" but just be mindful that fate sometimes ain't too kind.

Hope everything works out for you. :)
 
I wouldn't. You'll be poor forever. One horse and a baby is enough, but two, one of which is yearling, will be more effort than its worth x
 
I would normally be the first to say grab it whilst you can you never know whats round the corner etc etc. I meet folks constantly who regret not doing things in their lives BUT we do live in have it all NOW but got to say only so many child bearing years sort this first. Horse later UNLESS you can afford to employ help etc and dont have finanacial burden at all. Why give yourself the extra when you can have a horse anytime. And remember you can have the horse anytime now your situation is different.

But a difficult one when your dream is nearly realised...just bide your time..but wishing you good luck.
 
Go into it with a back up plan.
You may get pregant next week or in two years, having a horse doesn't stop you getting pregnant, having a child very often makes you poor but it certainly gives you less flexability. I can remember having a talk with my husband about having children and looking back I was very naive, I was preganant one month later.
To be fair I rode quite abit when they were small but by the time they start school and you start ferrying them to brownies , football, pony club etc your life is certainly not your own.
I would buy the youngster but be careful what you pay for it and be prepared to store it or sell it if needs be. I buy youngsters and do very little with them until their four, they are not a lot of trouble so I would look around for cheap grass livery so your hand is not forced.
Good luck what ever you choose.
 
Thank you all for some good advice, I am trying so hard to be objective, but I am finding it harder & harder!! :D

Ok, lets work through concerns:
=>"How about new job & baby and see how you are after and then new horse. Sort out the baby bit first and of course a new job. You can get a horse now anytime..but a baby etc"
=> I don't think this is the case though, pregnancy is not a sure fire bet is it? I know of friends how have obsessed about getting pregnant and it hasn't happened, cycles, pressure, disappointment all makes it much worse and more upsetting and frustrating and then nothing happens at all. I could not get preg for years, and then what? I would have lost an amazing chance that may never come up again.

=> "Pregnant, working and two horses is going to be tiring but not as tiring as having a baby, sleepless nights and two horses!"
=> true, but one will surely follow the other! (and it would be welcome respite!) Also, I believe a youngster (remember we are talking about a 7mo colt, not a 3 or 4 yo) is easier than a newly backed horse. You can't pick up and put down a newly backed horse but I could with current horse as it is not essential that he is ridden everyday.

=> Dreamon, i read your caution with interest, this is the very reason I don't want a newly backed youngster. Also, I am not planning on not working, (actually have a job interview today so must get off HHO!!!) so this gives me the finances I will need for the future.

=> "I wouldn't. You'll be poor forever. One horse and a baby is enough, but two, one of which is yearling, will be more effort than its worth"
=> I am not sure I agree with this. I don't think that I will be poor forever, I have other circumstances I am not willing to go into on a public forum, as long as I have a job, I will be just fine in the finance dept. Also, the payout will enable me to have a proper 'pony fund'.

Tricky ins't it! I have a friend whose business partner spent loads of time looking into the breed & she has agreed to meet up with me, have a chat and see if she can help which is great! she can help me look into his breeding and what his parents & family are up to.

Gosh I am excited but must concentrate for this interview! :D
 
I would tend to say go for it, but with back-up plans in place. Young horses should be turned out with other young horses, so if possible find someone experienced with youngsters who could have yours in a similar group just out at grass with occasional handling at first.

Be prepared to get lots of help with youngster (expensive!) Even if you have gained experience, you only have one horse, and believe me EVERY horse teaches you something new - even people who have had 100s of horses. Breaking and schooling a youngster is a lot of very hard work, and you need to know what you are doing to avoid pitfalls and mistakes. I got a 2 year old and despite many years experience I made plenty of mistakes with mine, and still living with some of them now he is 13 - schooling rather than behaviour).

If you have to send him away to be broken/some schooling, etc. you will probably end up paying as much as for an older horse - but then you will have owned him and pay out in bits not all at once.

Be prepared to sell one or other of the horses if it doesn't work out financially as planned.
 
It sounds to me like you may have already made your mind up. I think if i were in your position i would probably go for it, however i do think you need to make sure you fully consider everything if you do have a little 'un, as in care while you're with nags etc. to be sure you'd be able to find a sitter...

Just as an aside, did you know it was the BAPSH championship on 30th/31st July at Hartpury (sp) - may be worth a trip as there are always pre's for sale, plus its just a fantatsic weekend to see all the amazing horses (definitely recommend the parade class on saturday night!)
 
You only live once, if you can afford two horses easily and you are sure you have the time for two (remember having two riding horses is more work than most people think, specially if you have a family or thinking of having one) the go for it :), however if you can afford to do so, although there are differnt perks to buying one as young as a yearling, if you can comfortably afford to do so I personally would want an older youngster, at an age nearer to backing age, just makes more sense financially and you'll have something else to ride without such a long wait?
 
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