Over thinking everything horse wise!

[Hormonal Filly]

After having extremely bad luck with every horse I've owned, all at a young age, I now find myself over thinking everything.

My gelding can come back into full work after a op, hes had the all clear from the vet to crack on but I find myself so worried over everything like I've never been before. I have had one PTS and now 1 young field ornament and in no hurry to add to that!

One canter and I'm thinking oh that will do or no, can't ride for long, as he may over do it or go lame
Worried to do any circles, he may get arthritis
A gallop is to risky
Lunging.. ah, no way!
Worried to take him in the arena, it may cause another injury
Worried to box him out, in case he injures himself
Worried to jump him in case he goes lame again
'ah he looks stiff' 'oh no he looks lame' 'oh hes resting a leg somethings wrong'..yet friends/vet say he looks fine

Is it just me feeling like this, anyone else know what I mean? How can I get over myself?
I use to be the complete opposite of this, I'm not nervous of him one bit.. I think its purely worried something else might go wrong. I don't have the mindset of 'oh crack on and ride, if something goes wrong, it goes wrong' as my instructor would say.

 

[LaurenBay]

You are not the only one.

I am very paranoid after having to have my Horse of a life time PTS. I don't think I could own another due to the stress I will cause myself.

I am on edge with my share Horse, as I am so scared he will go lame in my care and I will get the blame. But I tell myself I am being silly, I know what I am doing, ie I know I school for the amount of time he is able to do, I know I don't overdo the circles, I know I am careful about ground when hacking etc. and gradually I have got better, when I have a nervous moment I just give myself a stern talking too and tell myself to get on with it. I also ride with music which keeps my mind from wondering off.

 

[milliepops]

I was the same after millie had her surgery. She was also mechanically lame with the scar tissue for a time so vets told me to get her moving in order to loosen it off. I was hyper aware of every wrong step. In the end I had to make myself just crack on (sensibly) because being too cautious wasn't doing either of us any favours. She did come back into full work and competition again, but then eventually reinjured. The way I look at it, that was a weak spot that was destined to fail. But By working her correctly I gave her body the best chance to rehab, and so when it did fail again she was at least fit and well and is now doing very well in retirement. If I'd just let her hobble about after the op then I very much doubt she'd be sound and strong now.

So in short, sometimes despite all best efforts it will still go wrong. These things happen. But equally lots of horses make a good recovery. So until/unless something bad happens then overthinking will make you miserable and also not help your horse. I think it's only natural, but you either have to learn to put those thoughts to one side or give up 🤷🏼‍♀️

 

[Trinket12]

Nope not alone. This is my first horse, and I appear to be a helicopter parent! When we're trotting I worry if her head is bobbing too much, is she in pain? lame? she shakes her head and I worry she has a neurological issue.......

 

[muddy_grey]

I found this after my horse had ddft surgery (Nov 2017). I was icing her legs after every ride and I measured her leg every week (annular ligament was cut so it will always be swollen) and she was the first horse I have had injure itself so don't be too hard on yourself. I would also sometimes convince myself she sounded lame when I trotted on the road, she felt fine! When we got to 1 year post op I gave myself a kick up the bum and said that was it she is now a normal horse. Any horse can injure itself so crack on. I am still careful with her, the ground needs to be very good for me to canter out hacking, but that doesn't bother me. I still ice her legs regularly, but only after a hard session so jumping or fast hacking. I haven't measured her leg for a long time, the swelling does fluctuate, but that is normal and I don't even notice it much now.
I decided to look for the positive and I no longer feel any pressure to be jumping x high or doing x, I just feel lucky to be doing anything with her and try to appreciate that

 

[oldie48]

No not alone. When I lost my lovely gelding to colic last year, I was so worried about my new horse that OH put an infrared camera into her stable so I could look at her if I woke up in the night. Once I knew I could check on her anytime I wanted I stopped worrying and gradually stopped checking. OH quietly disconnected the camera and I didn't notice for quite a while. Sometimes I think it helps if you acknowledge what you are worrying about, decide what is reasonable in terms of care, stick to it and try not to let it spoil your enjoyment of your horse.

 

[scats]

I had a run of 15 years of horrendous luck. Field injuries that wrote two horses off, cancer, a colic fatality, a rare breathing disorder... honestly, the list goes on. It has made me extremely wary, particularly of lameness issues and as a result I do feel that I am a bit over cautious of ground conditions, working them too hard or too long... etc.

 

[Bertolie]

My mare has had a string of problems for the last two years....headshaking, undiagnosed lameness, liver issues and laminitis. I am now starting to bring her back into work after 11 months box rest, she still chucks her head around....am i too heavy for her? Is she in pain somewhere? She has just started having 10 mins turnout on grass....she's shifting her weight, is she getting laminitis again? Is she putting weight back on (she's lost 255 pounds)? I am paranoid about everything and have no idea how to get over it...you are not alone!

 

[Michen]

Guilty

The conclusion I came to (with the help of lots of people on here!) is that eventually you have to know if a horse can do the job you intend for them to do. You can of course exercise caution and care in order to give them the best chance of staying sound and healthy, but ultimately we have horses to enjoy and rightly or wrongly sometimes you just need to crack on and give them the best chance of staying sound and healthy.

I am really paranoid with my boy (having had one PTS for multiple issues and losing my horse of a life time in a horrible way), but ultimately short of him sitting in a field doing nothing, I cannot do anything more in terms of management (unless he is unridden entirely) to give him the best shot at a long and happy life. Even my vet said to me the other day that I need to go easy on myself as he sees the cycle of worry I get myself in to.

So I ask myself, is it worth the worrying, to ride and compete and hunt etc? The answer for me is yes, I love all of those things, and I want to have as much time doing them with my horse as possible. But above all I love my horse, and if/when the time comes that he is unable to do those things, just having him in my life as a pet will be an absolute gift in itself.. somehow having recently "realised" that, I worry a lot less, as my priority isn't "is my horse going to stay sound enough to go jumping", my priority is just having him healthy and happy. That is not to say I won't be gutted to not be able to ride when the time comes of course.. but it has helped shift my perspective somewhat.

 

[Nudibranch]

Having spent years of my life and £££ on my beloved 17.3 WB, who I'd owned since a foal and lost at 7, I saw lameness everywhere and became paranoid about every little thing.

So, I bought a lovely Dales, who has the best feet, best legs, never a wrong step. I'm in remission now, if not yet entirely cured....

 

[gunnergundog]

In my opinion, if a horse has an intrinsic weakness, it will go lame/break at some point. Depending on what you want it to do, you can wrap it in cotton wool and do bugger all with it......it will still break in X years time.

Alternatively, you can work it in the best possible way to promote soundness and yep, it may still break but at least you've had some pleasure from it (and hopefully the horse has too) and you've given the horse every chance of building its physique to promote soundness and overcome nature.

 

[JFTDWS]

I was going to say, yes, I totally sympathise, but I've read the posts and next to you lot, I'm positively well-balanced and sane 😂

*goes back to visualising all the catastrophic things which could happen...*

 

[Michen]

I was going to say, yes, I totally sympathise, but I've read the posts and next to you lot, I'm positively well-balanced and sane 😂

*goes back to visualising all the catastrophic things which could happen...*

I'm feeling twitchy because I haven't slow motion videod Boggles hoof landing for at least 10 days....

Need help.

 

[JanetGeorge]

There really IS nothing wrong with worrying about your horse, lol. I have 38 a current count and all of them get my brain into action every day - either with worry :she's flat out - not moving: - or relief hew: her ears twitched, she's not dead. Hell, I can't even drive off the farm without doing a head count up the drive - 5 girls on the right look fine - tick, where is number 6 on the left - ah - spotted her - tick. And with the ones in work it's even worse. Just concentrate on worrying productively - what are the risks, what can I do to minimize them. Of course, sometimes lightening strikes and something ghastly happens you couldn't have predicted - or avoided. But then tomorrow you might get hit by a bus. And then someone else would have to worry about your horse. So keep to sensible worries and you'll likely be fine.

 

[Meredith]

I lost a horse to EGS and for almost 10 years afterwards every time I checked on my horses I listened for gut sounds and wasn’t happy until had heard a satisfying gurgle. I always counted the poo’s in the stable each morning as well.
One day I didn’t, perhaps I was tired or in a hurry, I don’t know, but since then I check only occasionally.
I take all the precautions I can to minimise the chances of EGS but have to accept that there are some things I cannot prevent.

 

[TheresaW]

I’m not quite so bad with the horses, although on the odd occasion I get there and Dolly is laying down in the field I panic: Have owned her for almost 20 years and can count on one hand the times I’ve seen her flat out sleeping. 😂. All 3 of my horses have always been hardy types though, and I know I’ve been lucky.

I am terrible with the dogs though. When we got Aled, he was 10yo and quite a bit overweight. We got some weight off him in the time we had him, but we had to say goodbye to him when his back legs let him down. I know 13 isn’t a bad age for a dog, but I’m convinced his weight played a part, and am so so careful and monitor the weight of the 2 we have now.

They are not starved or underweight by any means mind you.

 

[Bartleby.]

Oh my. The questions, constant observations, worrying, flip-flopping. It's all based on real things, but I let it get in the way of actually enjoying it all way more than I should, and it prevents us from cracking on which would probably solve some of the issues, gunnergundog is right. There's being observant and a good owner, and then there's just plain over the top!

In summary, you're definitely not alone.

 

[sportsmansB]

This is me!
I lost my mare 18 months ago in the field and my new horse is bearing the brunt of my worrying.. Though I'm a bit of a worrier / perfectionist anyway
I just want him to be sound and happy and give him every chance at a long happy life and myself a chance at competing again
I know I need to turn the panicky voices in my head down and just crack on but its not easy!! You are definitely not alone OP

 

[PapaverFollis]

I think many if the people who end up on internet forums will be the overthinkers! I'm dreadful. But weirdly losing Granny horse to a random colic, probably internal melanoma, has made me slightly better rather than worse. I still massively worry and overthink if something new crops up but on the whole I try to go for "crack on and enjoy cos they are going to die of something probably unexpected and unpreventable anyway". I say "try". It doesn't always work and I'm constantly looking and checking and worrying. But I find being a bit fatalistic actually helps. The worst thing I never wanted to happen happened... I really did not want to loose my absolute heart horse to colic on a snowy stormy day in the middle of winter with no planning... but it happened and I'm kind of broken but I survived. So now I just have to enjoy the horses I have from now on for however long I have them.

 

[tristar]

what i do is ride the horse for the horses benefit, the fact i enjoy it comes second.

i do all the things you are worried about because i am more worried if thats the right word, that if they don`t move enough they will seize up,on some level
.
so i work them calmly, thoroughly and do everything possible to supple, strengthen and make them fit, because the alternative is going backwards, so i go forwards, make progress and advance.

it is a long way from being paralysed with fear, imagined or otherwise, to being in a good place with a horse that functions on a level that is dynamic in a good way, just take your time through the lower levels of fitness and build up,let the horse determine when its ready to go on, the horse will tell you but you need to start the process perhaps?

 

[tristar]

I think many if the people who end up on internet forums will be the overthinkers! I'm dreadful. But weirdly losing Granny horse to a random colic, probably internal melanoma, has made me slightly better rather than worse. I still massively worry and overthink if something new crops up but on the whole I try to go for "crack on and enjoy cos they are going to die of something probably unexpected and unpreventable anyway". I say "try". It doesn't always work and I'm constantly looking and checking and worrying. But I find being a bit fatalistic actually helps. The worst thing I never wanted to happen happened... I really did not want to loose my absolute heart horse to colic on a snowy stormy day in the middle of winter with no planning... but it happened and I'm kind of broken but I survived. So now I just have to enjoy the horses I have from now on for however long I have them.

thats how i see it, put better than i could have said, thats what i wanted to say but could not think how to!

 

[Tarragon]

There is another way of looking at this...
I am in my mid-50s and when I get up in the mornings I have the usual aches and pains, my once broken finger that won't bend aches, I am not as flexible as I should be, I have to wear sensible shoes with support or my feet hurt and if I was a horse I would fail vetting...
BUT
on the other hand I work full time and have two ponies on full DIY livery, I happily ride every day before work and will ride for miles if I have the time, I enjoy gardening and hill walking and our annual skiing holiday.
I would shrivel up and die if someone said that i was too old for these activities and i should restrict myself to knitting and sedate walk around the block!

 

[TotalMadgeness]

I'm the same. Since my connemara has been diagnosed with malformed stifles I worry about every little cough, any little lumps, his breathing, how many poos he does and I simply see lameness everywhere! Then last weekend I took him to a low key dressage comp to keep my other horse company and learn how to cope with a 'competition' atmosphere. Unbelievably after virtually no practice (he can't be schooled under saddle other than occasional walk and a bit of trot) he won his class! The wee soul was tense (having not been out to anything this year - since his diagnosis and rehab) and dragging his hind toes slightly but apart from that, and one very slight stutter on a turn, he managed to pull it out of the bag. OK he spooked at the judge but every horse did so I can excuse him on that one!

 

[Michen]

I think many if the people who end up on internet forums will be the overthinkers! I'm dreadful. But weirdly losing Granny horse to a random colic, probably internal melanoma, has made me slightly better rather than worse. I still massively worry and overthink if something new crops up but on the whole I try to go for "crack on and enjoy cos they are going to die of something probably unexpected and unpreventable anyway". I say "try". It doesn't always work and I'm constantly looking and checking and worrying. But I find being a bit fatalistic actually helps. The worst thing I never wanted to happen happened... I really did not want to loose my absolute heart horse to colic on a snowy stormy day in the middle of winter with no planning... but it happened and I'm kind of broken but I survived. So now I just have to enjoy the horses I have from now on for however long I have them.

Agree with this. I did find that losing my horse made me really not want to love my current one though, but eventually got over it. Better to have loved and lost and all that...

 

[TPO]

TPO = The Paranoid Owner!

My long answer (scroll to bottom for short version!):

I can vaguely remember a time when having horses was fun and stress free. I saw the vet annually for vaccinations and once in a blue moon if there was a colic or something serious.

My "luck" changed in 2008 and the following 10.5yrs have been a nightmare. I've had to pts 5 horses, had another die 3mths after I sold him which was still upsetting, I had very bad experiences with (previous) vet practices, my one in a million was pts based in vet advice re her condition that I now know to be totally wrong, my 2010-2016 horse was the most labour intensive and time/money expensive horse ever (with hindsight pretty sure I had bad exhaustion from the hours I had to do to keep him.right around working a full on job- never mind the stress he caused) that was never bad enough that pts was an option purely for his "benefit" but never right enough to cope with ridden work. He finally irreversibly broke when I let a "friend", who was never done telling me how experienced and better than me they were, on for a walk around when he was coming back into work. She asked if she could trot and I agreed, she then pushed him for a canter without permission and his leg just went, for lack of a better term, and never recovered despite every effort. She even had the cheek to say after that she'd never have believed it if she didn't see it herself how he could just break out of the blue like that and what was he like!??! Needless to say also no longer a friend of this person and horse lived out the rest of his days as a pampered field ornament. The "fun" horse that I bought to distract myself from ever broken TB arrived like a matted skeleton on stilts so that greatly helped the "fun" situation - not!

The 2010-2016 TB seriously changed my mentality, which was barely hanging on after losing 3 of my own horses, and made me question everything. The 2008+ experiences really knocked the confidence that I had in my knowledge. As well as normal knowledge through ownership, horsey mum, farmer dad/family, PC and being a horse geek I'd also shadowed vets and an EDT, trained McT-C and EBW along with saddle fitting so I wasn't a complete eejit (and the more I learned the more I knew how little I knew). I could deal with veterinary emergencies when it was someone else's horse while remaining level headed and sensible but if mine had a cut I'd feel the need to double check with the vet. As it turned out I never managed to have "just a cut" with the TB and the vet was usually warranted as it would be puncture wound near joints (stifle), through elbow (mum's TB) and in back third of hooves...

After losing him I still had the "no longer a skeleton" horse who was much hardier and things have improved in that I'm much less paranoid and can deal with minor injuries without needing 2 vets and a surgeon in standby!

However I made the decision to send current horse to a trainer to be ridden away after I had/got sciatica and was crippled with it. I'd done all the groundwork and been on him etc but just hadn't put ridden work into him. I was recommended the trainer by someone who used her, I'd had her out to me for groundwork lesson to see how that went and thought I was doing the right thing. Long story short I visited 11 days in having not been happy with some videos I was sent and upon seeing him arranged to bring him home*. My horse was lame, had several injuries from the field (despite the instruction being for him to be on individual turnout, trainer knew better 2 days in...) and worst of all his personality had totally changed; he was terrified of everything. He didn't resemble the confident and inquisitive horse that had went to her place. While I'd been there trainer was telling me all sorts of stories and asking very strange questions which I've made fit what I think happened. It also transpired that the trainer was pregnant and had not disclosed this, I do wonder if that made her more "reactive" and "defensive" when handling strange horses and more prone to undesirable actions, so to speak.

*I say that and even although my gut reaction was bring him right home right then squished in the tiny boot of my car I still went and checked with two other people what their opinion was and if I was overreacting. This is a by-product of years of broken horse erasing confidence in knowledge and years of being on yards where you are actively shamed for caring for your horse while they starve/neglect/cut every possible corner and ride/compete their lame horse. Needless to say they agreed with my call and he came home.

I had to get the vet out as one of the injuries was very peculiar and even stumped the vet after he scanned it. The vet even commented on how roughed up my horse looked with all the marks and scars and how jumpy he was. So not only was I riddled with guilt but that also knocked my confidence in any decisions that I made and made me even more paranoid and completely distrustful of any and every horse "professional".

It was September 2018 that he went to the "trainer" and it has taken forever to try and put him back together again and he's still not where he was before he went to her. 11 days she had him compared to my 4.5yrs (at that point in time, I've now had him 5yrs). But we're getting there eventually! It helps that he's kept at my parents and I know the fencing, the routine, the other horses etc etc so there is a lot less to worry about now that I'm no longer stuck on the dire yards that were available in my area. He's not a walking vet bill and my current vet practice have been amazing (they also took on the care of the walking vet bill TB for the last 2yrs of his life and they made a huge difference/improvement).

Short answer: I think the level of paranoia and overthinking is based on your experiences. If you've sailed through life with sound, sane horses then I guess it's easy to cast aspersions on those that appear to over analyse/think every situation. Playing devil's avocado; if you've spent any considerable time with/around horses then you'll learn that sound and sane horses don't happen by accident! A lot of people who criticise the overthinkers do so from the bubble of "ignorance is bliss". After many years on livery it's become apparent that just because someone claims that their horse is sound/never lame/healthy/no issues doesn't mean it actually is or that they know what they are talking about.

Most high level competitors/performers say that they still experience nerves and they would be worried if they didn't. I think the same applies here; if you're not running through an internal (possibly automatic) checklist when you see your horse then maybe you should be worried that you're not worried! Caring takes effort after all.

I've found its helped getting rid of all the bullsh tters from my life when it comes to horses as it's not as draining and there's no way then that you feel bad by comparison when their comparison is totally fabricated! That in itself has been a weight lifted.

As the saying goes, badly paraphrased, do the best you can until you know better; then do better.