overfaced me and my mare

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charlotte79

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ok so i have my wonderful mare 5yrs and have trained her myself...we have had many highs and lows alot of which were due to injury and illness. this season we have finally been fit enough to start hunter trialling and ode....we have been having a great time and came second at our first be 80 ode. Then we had a lesson with a new trainer last week xc schooling and BOY did things go wrong. .so i said we have been doing 80 and would like to try a little higher....well she overfaced us from the start and my mare started stopping....then every fence after was the same....instead of stopping this i kept trying...only to scare me and my mare more....we came away stressed, angry and worried. i am kicking myself for letting it carry on as i know my mare and shouldn't have pushed her like this....but i have and now things aren't great. i've had two lessons with my regular trainer who is fantastic and we have been jumping grids but i can feel my mare doesn't trust me and i'm riding negatively although trying so hard not to...i really don't want to mess my mare up after all these yrs of trying to get to where we are but i am finding it really hard to let go of whats happened and move on....i was hoping someone might have some advice on being overfaced and losing confidence...we were doing so well and i just want that back!
 
First of all, don't beat yourself up and by the sounds of it you have done the right thing by going to your regular trainer. Easy with hindsight, I know, but trust your gut feeling and if you aren't happy with something an instructor is suggesting then don't do it.

Go right back to basics, it will take a little time but I am sure you will get your mo-jo back. Remember to have a positive attitude when you are riding her and go back to poles on the ground if necessary and work your way back up.
 
can you hire somewhere with a range of small xc jumps and go with a friend for a day out
i nearly put me and the horse on the floor over a showjump last week :o and this is what i'm planning to do next weekend to get our mojo back
just go and have a fun day out over jumps you can step over , start with tiny little steps if you can and just walk up and down them till you both start to relax

take a picnic etc and just have a fun day out , thats what i'm intending to do :)
 
We all have bad experiences some time or other, don't let it spoil how much you've progressed with her. Stay at the 80 jumps and work on your confidence maybe do an XC course with your regular trainer?
 
It's only a day. Yes, a bad day, but you recognise what happened and you've not gone on compounding it, so that's good news. Can you go out schooling with your regular instructor? Start really little, at the point you both don't feel any anxiety at all, then step up as you feel more confident.

Frustrating but fixable. :)
 
Drop down to a level you are comfortable with and have a few runs until it becomes easy again.

Try a local hunter trial and some SJ classes.
 
thanks people....we have been getting better slowly, she was looking at everything at home to begin with and i mean little stuff....was meant to be ht this weekend but we decided we weren't ready and so am going xc schooling with my trainer next week. hopefully we'll get some confidence back then. i know its a case of going back to basics but its so frustrating we hit a high and then such a low...cos of me....my main worry is that i don't want to teach her to stop.
 
I wouldn't worry overly much. At some point when you train a horse you are almost bound to find out what happens when things go wrong - no one never makes an error of judgement. if you have to go back to go on again see it as strengthening what you have already established. If her confidence was a little thin and a step up made you see that than going back and re-establishing what was 'easy' is time well spent anyway.
 
Have you got a confident friend who could give you a lead over a small xc course? I found this great for me.
 
Blythe Spirit said:
I wouldn't worry overly much. At some point when you train a horse you are almost bound to find out what happens when things go wrong - no one never makes an error of judgement. if you have to go back to go on again see it as strengthening what you have already established. If her confidence was a little thin and a step up made you see that than going back and re-establishing what was 'easy' is time well spent anyway.
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Good advice :)
 
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