Owner wants to return the horse i gifted to her

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DaisyMae

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Hi all, I'd really appreciate some advice...

After having my baby this year I decided to give my 16 year old horse to her part loaner. She loved her to bits and was really happy to take her. I was struggling to keep my two horses due to a lack of time and finances so it seemed like the perfect solution.

For the sake of putting her name on the insurance I wrote a receipt for £1.

She knew that the horse had suffered with problems with lameness (navicular) in the past but she had been 100% sound for over 3 years.

3 months down the lane and she started to be lame at trot. I adviced her to try boxrest and the last thing I heard she was better and they were hacking out.

This morning I've got a text to say that she's been lame for weeks. Boxrest hasn't helped and although she's field sound, she can't be ridden. The owner wants me to either take her back or she will try and rehome her as a companion. I really don't think rehoming is a good idea and the thought of where she might end up fills me with dread. She doesn't want to even think about having her pts.

I think people are telling her that I've purposely given her a dodgy horse, which wasn't my intention at all. I just don't know what to do. I would really struggle to take her back on as I'm only just managing with one and now, apparently, she's only a field ornament. All treatment options have been exhausted in the past and more box rest would just be cruel as she goes crazy. What would you all do in my shoes?
 
She was happy enough to take on the horse though! She won't talk about PTS, so basically wants to pass the buck back to you. If you are happy that treatments have been exhausted would you be prepared to have her PTS? (Horse not owner).
 
If all options have been tried, you do not say if a vet has been involved or what treatment has been given if any this time, i would probably have her back and pts rather than allow her to be passed on.
I am being gifted a horse that may not come sound enough to work properly, I want to give him every chance to come right but my plan is to give him a year then pts, he will never be passed on as a companion, if the boot was on the other foot I would take him back and pts.
 
I feel for you- you thought you were doing the right thing by your mare and due to lack of time/money. I feel that if the new owner fully knew about her lamness issues (which it sounds as though she did) and now is stuck with a horse she cant ride. Although sad for you- I suppose I dont blame her for not wanting a horse she cant ride (although a little cheeky as she seemed willing to take her on when she was sound but knew about all health problems)- although a difficult situation given her age and ongoing health problems.

I suppose you have a couple of options

1) She is no longer your horse, and sound as though you cant afford to keep her in addition to your own. You can be honest and say that it is up to your friend to do with her as she likes, and accept the consequences (if you can bear it)

2) you buy her back for a nominal fee of £1. Would she cope being on grass livery over the winter? (Ie as cheap as possible) This may not be an option due to her health problems.

3. You buy her back for a nominal fee and have her PTS. May seem extreme, but if she's old, your friend doesnt want her, you cant afford to keep her but yet cant bear for her to go somewhere where she may be mistreated then its may be the kindest thing.

I dont envy you OP, and in answer to your post- im not sure what I would do.
Hugs and I hope it all goes well
 
Take her back and pop her on retirement livery over the winter if she is field sound. Then go from there. PTS if needed :( But would absolutely take her back if worried about where she will end up otherwise.
 
I would not be happy that she texted you on this matter, it is very offensive, to my mind.
I would ask her to ring you or come and see you, else go and check out the horse, its really not a matter for texting. I can only wish you good luck, and ask for copy of a recent vet report.
 
MrsD123 said:
I would not be happy that she texted you on this matter, it is very offensive, to my mind.
I would ask her to ring you or come and see you, else go and check out the horse, its really not a matter for texting. I can only wish you good luck, and ask for copy of a recent vet report.
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I agree with this, texting and sending messages on fb on serious are the work of people who have no guts....had it so many times for various things...

Tell her you will talk about it face to face...
 
Although I assume that legally, the horse is now her problem (since you signed her over), I can understand why you feel an obligation to be involved (I would too). A companion loan-home might not be bad if you, and the current owner, were still able to keep tabs on the horse, and were able to develop a contingency plan in case it goes pear-shaped.

When you say "navicular", what treatment options have been explored? Sorry, can't help it, have to ask! :o
 
Another vote for you to take her back and PTS. It's not a cruel option, it's simply realistic. You haven't the time or money to keep her, and there aren't queues of people looking to take on a non ridden companion. It's better than her being passed around and ending up goodness knows where.
 
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I had a horse on permanent loan for several years with navicular, this is before there were all the new treatments. I took him on knowing his problems, he was a horse I could not have afforded to buy if he had not had problems.
The trouble is as you have effectively sold her unless you buy her back she can do anything with him. I would get her back, turn her out on bute and then think what you are going to do. If she is lame because of the navicular this will not do any harm but there is always a chance there may be something else going on. I could tell when mine was lame due the navicular or there was another reason.
If you decide to PTS don't feel bad, you tried your best. Its bad timeing but I think you would not have been happy if she had told you she had been PTS.
 
Firstly....... go see your friend, give her a £1 and get the passport back PDQ. Don't delay with this!

Secondly, try to find some turnout for the winter and/or somewhere just to put her, for now........... give yourself time to think/make decisions basically. Personally (just my opinion, but experience too in fact) I feel that "box rest" is far too easily prescribed for horses these days - she may well come sound, given time, and space, and the freedom to do her own thing for a bit.

I've got an almost identical situation with my loan mare in fact: the owner has more-or-less gifted her to me, on the understanding that she has vet. issues and that I am taking that on lock stock and barrell. If there is anything I know that I can always discuss/make decisions in consultation with her owner, but basically I am happy to take her on in the knowledge that she does have veterinary issues both for now and in the future.

I have to say........... that I find the friend's attitude ungrateful to say the very least, and downright spineless at best. All other words just fail me. WHY FFS did she take on the horse in the first place? I think OP you have been more than generous, its not everyone that trusts a person to take on the most precious thing they've got (i.e. their horse) and if I were in your shoes I'd be mega devastated, and bl@ddy angry to boot.

Get your mare back PDQ; keep her if you possibly can, but don't be afraid or feel awful to make a humane decision if you can't. Do NOT repeat NOT let your "friend" find another home for her; she's "your" mare and precious to you, and if that is the decision you want to make (i.e. rehome/loan out as companion), let it be YOU that finds the home, not her.

I feel for you, I really do, in all of this. What a way to treat someone :( Appalling.

Sorry OP meant to say that it is obvious that you "didn't intend to give her a dodgy horse". You basically, for everyone's ease, did a miniscule financial transaction, which was the best way you could think of to do things at the time. In retrospect, you may have been better just "loaning", BUT you did it in good faith and your "friend" knew what she was taking on, like I did when I took on my loan mare.
 
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I'm another who thinks you should take the horse back and pts, in the horse's best interests.
I also agree that texting about such a matter ids very bad form. This woman should have had the guts to talk to you face to face, or at least in a phone conversation about the mare.
 
I do feel really bad that after only 3 months she's been stuck with a horse that she can't ride. She did know about her past issues but neither of us had reason to think that they'd resurface after being perfectly sound for so long. I feel gutted all concerned but, although i care about the horse, it's been like a huge weights been lifted since she's been gone and I'm really reluctant to take her back.
Personally, I'd rather see her pts than passed on but then I'd have to live with guilt that she might have been happy padding around the field :( I wouldn't feel happy turning her out all winter as she's not a hardy type and it would still mean daily trips to another destination to see to her and the expense of hayledge ect.
I did speak to her owner after the text and basically she doesn't want to keep her but she doesn't want her to be pts. She seems to think she can give her to a sanctuary or rehome her but I've told her that charities won't take them anymore and that it's way to risky to pass her on again and that it's not an option.
Vet has said that if the lameness reoccurred then pts. She's had all the drugs and boxrest she can take and the insurance obviously won't pay out anymore. I've told her to speak to her farrier about possible remedial shoes but I actually doubt it'll help I just didn't know what to suggest.
Really appreciate all of your advice. It feels like a no win situation.
 
DaisyMae said:
Vet has said that if the lameness reoccurred then pts
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So sorry OP, but it looks like you've only got one choice here. If she can't be turned out for the winter, and current "owner" doesn't want her, it leaves you with no other option unfortunately.

Don't think there's any mileage at all in trying a rescue/sanctuary. They're already full to bursting, and will only tell you to PTS in this situation anyway.

Poor old gal, but there's far worse things that can happen to a horse than putting down for humane reasons with love and kindness.

It looks like you might have to make that choice for her now. So sorry.
 
If I was in your situation I would take her back, take her shoes off and turn her out in a herd on glass livery for the winter so I would have thinking time and there would be time to see if the horse comes sound. But obviously this may not be possible for you. I wish you the best, and I'm sure whatever decision you make will be the right one for the horse.
 
Also, I didn't want to go down the loan route for this very reason, which is why I sold her for £1. I didn't want to risk her being sent back once she wasn't useful anymore, I just never though that would happen so soon! It's because it's happened in such a short space of time that I still feel responsible.
I hate to admit it but even if I take her back and managed to get her sound then I still have no time or money for her and I would never rehome her again. Ive not palmed her off to keep a younger horse either (i know no one has suggested this) my other horse is older but has always been lower maintenance and is much better for me in my current circumstances.
 
As far as I can see you only have 2 real options for your situation.
1) Let the "friend" suck it up, she bought the horse knowing the issues. But you dont know what will happen to the horse.
2) Get the horse back and PTS.

Really sorry OP, it's a crappy situation :(
 
If the vet still thinks it's navicular, then suggest she research a barefoot rehab, which might give the mare a better chance of coming sound again than remedial shoeing. I'm not disagreeing with anyone about the difficulties of this situation, especially if the mare is not going to be rideable again. But if a proper rehab hasn't been tried, then a major treatment option has fallen by the wayside.

Regarding the mare, it seems to me you have two options: 1. you decide that you signed over responsibility along with ownership, and let the new owner do as she will. This may take some doing on your part, to pull yourself back from the situation. 2. you decide that you still have a moral obligation to the mare, in which case you need buy her back, inform yourself as much as possible about the medical side of the situation, and then make whatever decision you would make if she were still your horse (putting aside the question of the inconvenience of your circumstances). I suppose you also have the third option of not buying her back, yet having as much input into what happens to the mare as you can...however, the current owner is then free to ignore your input. I feel for you; it really is a difficult situation.
 
Im another that feels for you. i also a gree find grass livery and buy horse back for £1. then step back and breath. get you vet out and discuss all options and if then the best course of action (not only for horse but for you) is PTS then at least you have made informed descision and(easy to say i know :) ) try not to feel guilt. But firstly you need good vetinary (sp) advice for the future you horse as. Hugs x .
 
I'm with Spookypony! I would take her back and try the barefoot route....if it doesn't work within say a year, then pts....
 
Alyth and Spookypony, I think you are missing the point that the OP doesn't have the money or time for that option.
OP I am very sorry for the situation, I would fetch her back and PTS this week. Your so called friend is a useless piece of ...
 
I was in a similar situation a month ago........ long story and I think I know exactly how OP feels, happy that she has secured a good home for a good friend [the horse], then this happens.
I would arrange for it to be done where most convenient for the horse, I don't think anyone will want to take on a horse in need of veterinary treatment and knowing that they may have to p-t-s.
The cost for me was priced at £300, in the end I found someone to take him [sound and in his prime], and offer a home for life, I am sure I did the right thing, but I am still stuffed full of guilt, which is silly really, I did my best.
 
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Clodagh said:
Alyth and Spookypony, I think you are missing the point that the OP doesn't have the money or time for that option.
OP I am very sorry for the situation, I would fetch her back and PTS this week. Your so called friend is a useless piece of ...
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Agree 100% - the person you gifted the mare to is clearly not fit to own a horse, and whilst it technically is not your problem anymore, for your own piece of mind, and for the mare's welfare, take her back and pts.
 
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