Owning a horse is never a sensible decision… discuss

[Wishfilly]

I do the same with "Greeeeyyhooouund!" which only started after we got our first dog. I don't know why it's so much more exciting to see some random Greyhound walking along when I'm driving when I have one at home. Maybe it's because it makes me think of her. Obviously also do the "horsey" thing too. Does anyone not?!


I am a bit concerned that no matter how much I read on this forum that by logic should put me right off, the dream of having my own horse won't die for me. Like @Wishfilly I do still think a share is not the same (different problems I guess!) Even when I'm having an absolute confidence crisis, I just cannot let horses and riding go, I'm hungry for more and don't want to give up. Like @Ample Prosecco I hope I can make my work/life balance come out in favour of as much horse and dog time as I can.

Even though in theory I think Loaning/Sharing ought to be less stressful, I think I'm too much of a control freak for it to work for me- or possibly losing some ponies I adored as a teenager has given me "the fear" of ponies being taken back/sold etc. Even when I wasn't riding at all, the dream never really died for me either- and now I have my own, I sometimes have to sit on my hands to resist getting a second (which would be a stupid decision in lots of ways!).

 

[Wishfilly]

I transferred my addiction to dogs, which are far easier, and don’t generally try to kill you. However when I’m trudging round the paddock in horizontal lashing rain I now envy people who’s dogs just crap in the garden while they stay indoors.
#theresalwaysanewgoal.

I would love a dog, and I really hope at some stage I'll be able to see a way to make dog ownership work for me! But bizarrely, as someone who works outside the home full time, I think owning a dog would be more complicated. I obviously feel no guilt at my pony being in a field all day, whereas leaving a dog alone all day just doesn't sit right with me.

 

[Wishfilly]

it might be a sensible decision now but I don’t think it’s going to be sensible in the future especially if you don’t own land and have to have your horse on livery . The reason I think this is the cost of livery will get extremely expensive and dly livery is getting rare so I say that going to take normal people away from the sport and the super rich will probably only own horse. We are losing livery yards to housing to over population so there be less and less yards around so less competition driving up prices and demand . Climate change could stop a lot of horse from being turned out as much and could make it very difficult to keep horses in winter and summer as the weather could be unpredictable and crazy , very hot temperatures. I am lot younger than most members on this forum I am in my early twenties I can’t see myself being able to own horse when I am middle age in the future. I feel sorry for anyone who has a young horse that probably would have to make a hard decision in the future if the horse world goes to expensive . I can see lass normal horses being breed it probably be all expensive warmblood competition horse which will price people out of the market.

I think this really, really depends where you are, though.

I am in Cornwall, and I've never really had any difficulty finding livery- and it is very affordable compared to "up country". I am almost embarrassed at how little I pay for my stable/grazing! I am also lucky that the yards I have been on have never felt overstocked. There are lots and lots of horses around here kept on yards/in fields etc, and whilst I am sure some of those will be lost to developers in my lifetime, and I'm sure my livery costs will go up at some point, I definitely don't feel the same pressure as people seem to in the South East(?). There are 3/4 yards I *know of* that I could move to if my yard closed, and one of them only opened to liveries in the last few years.

I do see what you are saying, and I do think there are some valid concerns about wetter winters etc, which may make us have to rethink traditional horse keeping practices, but people in places like Austrailia and South Africa successfully keep horses, so I'm not *so* worried about hotter summers.

Obviously, financially, it will never be sensible, but I don't think it is all doom and gloom. Even if we just think about the UK, it's a very diverse country, and what is true in one region isn't necessarily true elsewhere.

 

[Time for Tea]

I will do the talking thing I love forcing the southerners to talk .

Excellent. Perhaps a new thread should be started on relative approachability of inhabitants of different regions!

 

[paddy555]

I transferred my addiction to dogs, which are far easier, and don’t generally try to kill you.

If I gave up horses I could never do that. I don't like dogs that much and hate dog walking. Love taking a horse for a walk in hand but not a dog.
A dog for me is there for a purpose, I love the dog, but without that I most likely wouldn't have a dog. So I can't transfer any addiction from horses to dogs.

 

[palo1]

If you are someone who needs a structure in their life/day, needs change, challenge and possibly greater dopamine stimulation or more help with regulatory stuff than others, or if you struggle to engage with a community socially but want to be a part of something; if you love the connection with an animal and enjoy the intellectual challenge of training, then horses are probably as sensible as any other hobby that might support physical and mental health. Most hobbies/ non essential activities can be expensive, exhausting and emotionally loaded, especially when specialist kit or training is needed (golf, sailing, motorbikes, foreign travel, cycling, house restoration, art etc are all easily as ruinous as horses). The grass may be, but isn't always greener as so much of our relationship with horse ownership is down to our personal abi!ities, resources and resilience. I have seen people broken financially and emotionally from many other things than horses! Currently I am certain horses are NOT sensible as I have 3 on the yard eating my time and money in conditions that are too grim for me to enjoy training or riding. But come February maybe, or when I need a horse because ice and snow make our farm quad useless, I will feel that thrill and sense of 'rightness' again. Then for me, they make sense...as they do when I just need something outside the realm of people. I have a dog and do not think I would want to live without one: that is a necessity for me but horses seem sensible enough in my life lol.

 

[MuddyMonster]

An interesting side point of this thread is how some seem to imply there's no life worth living outside of horses?

Maybe it's because my life is driven partly by my own health and have finally learnt to adapt accordingly (or the five years in equestrian ops management) but I do wonder what would happen to someone, anyone, who suddenly couldn't ride or have horses that has this belief that horses are the be all and end all. While life is short and for living etc, it can also change overnight...

A friend (who without fail has at least one lesson a week, plus a clinic or extra as a non-owner) found the lockdowns absolute hell as she put SO much into her riding, she didn't know what to do to fill the void - sometimes all your eggs in one basket isn't necessarily a good thing.

Valid point but I don't think that's a solely equestrian based thing, though?

My FIL is a sailor and you only need to go to one or two sailing social's to learn there are people that dont do anything over than sail. Ditto there seem to be plenty of members at the golf club OH is a member of that seem to only be able to converse about golf. And lots of people in my running club seem to have running or fitness as their only hobby. Or parent's with young families, there are certainly a few of my friends that seemingly now can't have a conversation that isn't about children

(There are plenty that do have other interests too and for some it's just a time/finance thing.)

For me, having my horse makes my world whole but he isn't my whole world. My week/month is generally filled with a variety of date nights/days, social stuff with family & friends, running, pilates or going to the gym as well as having a horse on DIY and riding 5/6 days a week.

I often joke what would we do with the extra time & money but in reality I'd be able to invest more time in the other hobbies I have now and pick up other hobbies I don't have enough time for now. None of them currently top having a horse and I hope they don't for some time but there's enough going on if I had to take a break, I wouldn't be totally flummoxed. I wouldn't be getting out of bed at 5am to run or go to the gym before work though

I guess some people are able to pick up horses as little or as often as they like. For others, they will always be part of a bigger fabric weaved into their lives. Neither is more right than the other.

 

[Wishfilly]

An interesting side point of this thread is how some seem to imply there's no life worth living outside of horses?

Maybe it's because my life is driven partly by my own health and have finally learnt to adapt accordingly (or the five years in equestrian ops management) but I do wonder what would happen to someone, anyone, who suddenly couldn't ride or have horses that has this belief that horses are the be all and end all. While life is short and for living etc, it can also change overnight...

A friend (who without fail has at least one lesson a week, plus a clinic or extra as a non-owner) found the lockdowns absolute hell as she put SO much into her riding, she didn't know what to do to fill the void - sometimes all your eggs in one basket isn't necessarily a good thing.

FWIW I've had periods in my life where horses simply weren't practical- particularly after I tried to make horses a career, which meant I had very limited stress relief. In many ways, I wasn't very mentally healthy during that time. If I couldn't have/be involved with horses for health reasons etc, I would probably have to find another way to cope, but I genuinely don't know what that would be. I know this is going to sound a bit crap from someone who is able bodied and young, but if my life changed that drastically, I would find it really hard. Many of my interests outside horses (watersports, hiking) are probably less accessible to someone with disabilities/illness.

During one of my non-riding phases, I ran some long distance races- and I have *never* been a runner!

If I couldn't ride, but could be around/care for horses, I think I would get a (proper) dartmoor or even a miniature horse of some kind and show it in hand, and/or trick train it!

FWIW, I was very similar to your friend in 2019, just before the lockdowns, and at the end of the first lockdown, I... uh... bought a pony (yes, I was one of those people!).

 

[Wishfilly]

Valid point but I don't think that's a solely equestrian based thing, though?

My FIL is a sailor and you only need to go to one or two sailing social's to learn there are people that dont do anything over than sail. Ditto there seem to be plenty of members at the golf club OH is a member of that seem to only be able to converse about golf. And lots of people in my running club seem to have running or fitness as their only hobby. Or parent's with young families, there are certainly a few of my friends that seemingly now can't have a conversation that isn't about children

(There are plenty that do have other interests too and for some it's just a time/finance thing.)

For me, having my horse makes my world whole but he isn't my whole world. My week/month is generally filled with a variety of date nights/days, social stuff with family & friends, running, pilates or going to the gym as well as having a horse on DIY and riding 5/6 days a week.

I often joke what would we do with the extra time & money but in reality I'd be able to invest more time in the other hobbies I have now and pick up other hobbies I don't have enough time for now. None of them currently top having a horse and I hope they don't for some time but there's enough going on if I had to take a break, I wouldn't be totally flummoxed. I wouldn't be getting out of bed at 5am to run or go to the gym before work though

I guess some people are able to pick up horses as little or as often as they like. For others, they will always be part of a bigger fabric weaved into their lives. Neither is more right than the other.

I know some kayakers and surfers who are a bit like this- including to the point of having converted vans so they can sleep at/near the beach, and then go surfing early morning etc! Some of them will go on holiday etc, but it's often designed around going to a great surf spot/watersports spot abroad! I also know some teachers who seem only able to talk about work- which is sadder, and I think I'd be in danger of becoming one of them if I didn't have horses!

For lots of people, to be honest, if you are working full time and have kids, maintaining one hobby is enough!

 

[Clodagh]

If I gave up horses I could never do that. I don't like dogs that much and hate dog walking. Love taking a horse for a walk in hand but not a dog.
A dog for me is there for a purpose, I love the dog, but without that I most likely wouldn't have a dog. So I can't transfer any addiction from horses to dogs.

I always had both, but to me horses were like cars, sort of, there to be maintained and do a job. I did love them but not just for being horses, I loved them for what they did.

 

[I'm Dun]

Now cats, especially the ragdoll breed? That I would never give up, and could be considered a true obsession. I am BESOTTED with mine and would have more if I could

As Cortez (I think) said there is a whole world outside of horses. They aren't the be all and end all I once thought they were.

That’s really interesting, and explains a lot of things. I now spend as much time as I can with my dogs, walking has replaced riding for me, and they are my constant companions.

my dogs are my whole world, my best friends, my only family and my reason to get out of bed. I couldn't bear to be without them. Its a much stronger and more intense relationship than I've ever had with horses, even my very best boy. I'm with them 24/7 a lot of the time, which I never was with horses, so maybe that's the difference.

 

[Crazy_cat_lady]

my dogs are my whole world, my best friends, my only family and my reason to get out of bed. I couldn't bear to be without them. Its a much stronger and more intense relationship than I've ever had with horses, even my very best boy. I'm with them 24/7 a lot of the time, which I never was with horses, so maybe that's the difference.

Completely agree, I definitely never had the intense relationship I have with my Ragdoll cat with my horse. She returns my love though (I'm definitely a batty cat lady though if people heard me talking to her they'd be concerned )

 

[Palindrome]

I have a dog, a cat, have had birds, fish and rabbits, but nothing compare to a horse to me. I find the dog tiring as she is obsessed with me and doesn't give me space. The cat is nice but not reliable (sometimes at ours, sometimes at the neighbors). The horses are perfect a lot of the time and riding is a big bonus.

 

[Cortez]

I've been at a stage where horses were "my whole world", it was kinda necessary at the time in order to attain the results that I wanted. Tunnel vision is a positive advantage when you have to focus, but it's also very limiting. I'm happy to leave that behind and have the whole world as my whole world.

 

[oldie48]

It was never sensible to buy my first horse (as a novice rider) at 50 or my last at 70, but if I'd had a "sensible" life it would be so much smaller. Why do "sensible"? Life is an adventure. I miss the "freedom" of being able to do what I want with my horse now I am no longer an owner but I still love the thrill of riding. I got absolutely soaked schooling this morning but it was still fun. tbh I don't miss having horses at home, at 75 I like to turn up and ride and not worry about getting horses in before it's dark or windy or any of the things that seem to wind them up and I now find time to try lots of other things that give me pleasure.

 

[Chuffy99]

I’d love another driving pony but the road outside is now so dangerous and 2 of my drives are no longer an option, last pony lives with daughter as she is lucky to have land and I still get my pony fix when we go competing.
Too unsound to ride so driving but not competively was my pleasure but the thing I miss most is late night stables, knowing they had everything, were comfy and the lovely sound of munching hay
So now I walk the four dogs and have discovered gardening, finances have never been better but so miss my daily driving fix and would have another in an instant if going on this road wasn’t dicing with death

 

[scats]

An interesting side point of this thread is how some seem to imply there's no life worth living outside of horses?

Maybe it's because my life is driven partly by my own health and have finally learnt to adapt accordingly (or the five years in equestrian ops management) but I do wonder what would happen to someone, anyone, who suddenly couldn't ride or have horses that has this belief that horses are the be all and end all. While life is short and for living etc, it can also change overnight...

A friend (who without fail has at least one lesson a week, plus a clinic or extra as a non-owner) found the lockdowns absolute hell as she put SO much into her riding, she didn't know what to do to fill the void - sometimes all your eggs in one basket isn't necessarily a good thing.

My mental health is scarily intertwined with my horses, and if there is a problem with them, it massively affects everything in my life. But I think that’s because I am tied to them and they are such a huge commitment.
When I was out of action with my ankle, I hated it and felt very depressed at not being able to love my normal life, but I think that was because I knew the horses were there waiting for me and I felt guilt about my friends having to do them. If I’d not had horses, I probably would have embraced the downtime a bit more.

If I genuinely gave up and had no horses to do, I’m fairly sure I could fill my time with other things and not having that tie would allow me to see the world outside of them and I’m pretty sure I would cope just fine.

I think when you have them, and have that tie to them, they are all encompassing, but it would be easy to make a different life for yourself if that tie wasn’t there.

 

[teach]

It’s definitely not sensible, especially when 1 quickly became 2, then 3! But..I have multiple autoimmune diseases, which could have broken me, physically and mentally. Having my horses, means however rubbish and stiff I am feeling in a morning, I have to move; and after being out in the fresh air and doing my morning jobs, I nearly always feel a lot better and my joints have loosened up! Do I ride as often as I ‘should’ probably not, but I’m fairly sure my boys don’t stand in their field eating, wishing they were out competing instead!
So no, it’s not sensible, but if it enables me to delay being in a wheelchair for a few more years, then it’s definitely worth it!

 

[Tarragon]

Turning it around a little, I think that I keep horses sensibly, so, well within my income and my horsey activities are enough to keep me healthy, happy, grounded and fit.
They only take up about 2 hours of my time a day on average, but to me it is quality time.
They are a vital part of my routine and my happiness, and having a quiet time with my ponies, whether riding, working or just being with them, is just so good for my soul.
So yes, I think it is sensible