People who 'embellish' their abilities/experience

[Fides]

I hate the ones that buy a horse competing at a much higher level expecting it to be a schoolmaster and just need steering, when in fact they have bought a sharp, highly strung competition horse that needs it's a@se schooling off it every day or it explodes. Then the inevitable 'behavioural' problems that result and the horse getting sold on with comments that the previous owner was a liar/crook etc.

The dreamers don't bother me, the 'all the gear with no idea' type do as they're rhe ones that ruin horses

 

[MungoMadness]

I actually find it generally stems from them being insecure and trying to play keep up, or gain respect.

 

[Honey08]

I don't mind them much at all, they're entertaining! Unless they're coming to try my not novice ride horse as a share rider.

The ones that annoy me are the ones that buy expensive, experienced horses that have done BE novice and then gush about how well they are doing when they win a walk and trot test or a 2' showjumping class.

 

[blackandwhite]

I pity the "all the gear" types and the ones who are constantly hystetical that their level, calm saintly horse "bolted" when it managed something slightly faster than funeral pace. What really worries me is the truly deluded ones who are a danger to themselves, their animals and other people. We've had one of those recently. Girl with almost no experience, no knowledge, no riding ability and no desire to learn or be taught who has fallen in to a bit of cash and decided to set herself up as (yes, you guessed it) a dealer. It's truly mind boggling.

 

[webble]

This is why I love only having one other person on my yard and being a happy hacker with a happy hacker friend. Our achievements are making it past the field of pigs or down a busy road etc

 

[JFTDWS]

I don't know. I've said before I'm aiming to compete at X level this year. It often doesn't happen, but usually that's because I've forgotten the law of life that anything that can go wrong, generally will.

Horses are expensive to keep, train, and compete, a pig to keep sound and a battle to keep everything else in place to get out (trailer / lorry / car all in working order, licensing, etc). Financing all this stuff can write off a season's competing if you're not rolling in it.

And sometimes it is just because things don't turn out how you thought and your jumping pony would rather do dressage or your dreams were a bit unrealistic to start with - stranger things have happened.



Bit different to those who say they are, or have, competed at that level when they haven't though...

 

[wattamus]

I must admit to calling both my horses crazy, not to big up my ability but because they drive me mad. They are so good then for about 30seconds they are a nightmare. I must also admit to being one of the "all the gear no idea" people, but in my defence my beautiful Kingsland jacket looked stunning going round that 85cm unaffiliated sj class

I never big up my riding abilities, I'm a happy hacker that knows what she's talking about (for the most part) but is useless at putting it into practice. People who make out that they're better than they are annoy me but I also feel bad for them because they are just setting themselves up for a fall- often quite literally.

 

[Tobiano]

I think I might have been guilty of boasting lately…. I tell everyone my horse is a saint (he is) and I have proudly announced how we jumped 50 cm yesterday (2 jumps) and I hope to progress to the next level (70 cm) later in the month

So watch out all you 7 year olds!!! 51 year old me is catching you up fast :devilish:

 

[Moomin1]

I think I might have been guilty of boasting lately…. I tell everyone my horse is a saint (he is) and I have proudly announced how we jumped 50 cm yesterday (2 jumps) and I hope to progress to the next level (70 cm) later in the month

So watch out all you 7 year olds!!! 51 year old me is catching you up fast :devilish:

Sounds like you have every right to boast too!!

I don't think there's anything wrong in being proud, or boasting even - but when people blatantly fabricate scenarios/achievements, particularly when it's really easy and inevitable that people will find out the truth, then it's just plain weird.

As I said earlier, I know of someone who has posted threads/videos on another forum about their achievements riding their pony, yet it's not them riding it, it's someone else. Not only that but said person also made out they have been placed/got clear rounds, shown rosette etc, only to be discovered by others that in fact, they were given that rosette by someone else who won it!! Just plain odd. I don't get what satisfaction someone would get from that.

 

[Fides]

Sounds like you have every right to boast too!!

I don't think there's anything wrong in being proud, or boasting even - but when people blatantly fabricate scenarios/achievements, particularly when it's really easy and inevitable that people will find out the truth, then it's just plain weird.

As I said earlier, I know of someone who has posted threads/videos on another forum about their achievements riding their pony, yet it's not them riding it, it's someone else. Not only that but said person also made out they have been placed/got clear rounds, shown rosette etc, only to be discovered by others that in fact, they were given that rosette by someone else who won it!! Just plain odd. I don't get what satisfaction someone would get from that.

That is weird...

 

[Moomin1]

That is weird...

Oh I could write a whole lot more than that which would make your blood curdle.......

 

[Delhi Belly]

There's dreams, then there's delusions though...

Haha love this!

We have someone like this on our yard. Horse is well bred - nice enough to look at but certainly nothing special. Keeps making excuses for her 7 year old horse saying that all the best horses take years to do anything, always describing the horse as "quirky" and it's a total idiot horse. Has aspirations to be the next Charlotte Dujardin and thinks that because she's backed a few 12hh ponies is a backing expert, yet when any horse does anything wrong her answer is to strap it's mouth shut and stick it into some gadget. I find it highly irritating that she thinks she is an expert on everything - she is apparently a master saddler, expert backer and dressage rider, nutrition expert, vet, dentist......you name it, she can do it!

 

[Woolly Hat n Wellies]

My friend, aged 12, was placed 5th out of 6 at junior unaf intro dressage. I doubt Charlotte Dujardin is quaking in her boots just yet, but for her this was HUGE. It was the first time she had been placed anything but last, she has only been doing dressage for a couple of months, and the horse is inexperienced and has all the balance and grace of a plate of jelly. My friend is also building her confidence in her own ability back up from absolute rock bottom. They are learning together, which is not ideal, but it makes every little achievement important. So for my friend to improve on her previous score and actually beat someone else was just the biggest thing ever!

So it really got to me when I found out that the girl who came last (on a been-there, done-it, got-the-t-shirt type) was telling everyone who would listen that in fact she had beaten my friend by miles, and making out that my friend was rubbish!

Not cool.

 

[showpony]

I've been one of those people that has talked up my abilities in the past. Was a really good rider when younger but after a very long break and me thinking I could ride like that again it was me more putting pressure on myself and talking myself and my abilities up. 13 yrs out of the saddle , and confidence problems meant I was just kidding myself... After a heated argument with my instructor which ended in tears I came to conclusion that I was hyping my own ability up but didnt want to admit it. we stripped everything back and since we did that the results have shown... I am a strong business woman and put on the false facade of being a strong rider... It didn't work the best thing I've done is being more honest and open.

 

[Elvis]

I actually find those kinds of people quite entertaining. My favourite moment to date though was someone who loved to 'one-up' others. I mentioned that my horse was not well with a virus that attacked his liver, I was clearly upset and worried, and she simply replied saying 'Well, that's not as bad as my horse, both of her livers are failing'

What bad luck, not only does her horse have an extra liver, but both of them are failing!

 

[Magicmillbrook]

I think it is a low self esteem thing, I always excuse them thinking that they were probably brought up by parents for whom nothing was ever good enough and they have grown up being very defensive. I try not to think badly of them as I always think they must be very unhappy inside.
Sorry if this sounds a bit touchy/feely pc but I was brought up in a family where you were never allowed to do something just for fun and if you were considered to not be doing well enough at something you got one warning and then stopped from.doing it if you didn't improve enough.
I remember doing my ABRS TEST in stable management, I think it was test 5, and I managed to get 99% and was soooo thrilled. I went home and told my mother, really excited, and she looked at me and said, really nastily " so what did you get wrong?"--I was so crushed! Should have expected it as I was an adult by then but it is hard to get over that sort of upbringing.

I agree and yes my M&D were like that too. I have got over it now, if any thing I don't strive to succeed enough and probably do myself down.

I love hearing kids when with their jump/spook/buck exaggerator glasses on

 

[Cragrat]

I've been one of those people that has talked up my abilities in the past. Was a really good rider when younger but after a very long break and me thinking I could ride like that again it was me more putting pressure on myself and talking myself and my abilities up. 13 yrs out of the saddle , and confidence problems meant I was just kidding myself... After a heated argument with my instructor which ended in tears I came to conclusion that I was hyping my own ability up but didnt want to admit it. we stripped everything back and since we did that the results have shown... I am a strong business woman and put on the false facade of being a strong rider... It didn't work the best thing I've done is being more honest and open.

 

[hobbit]

I hope I'm not one of those, lol...
I know I'm not a good rider...but I also want to do 'stuff', but for fun...like SJ comps that aren't too high or competitive, intro and eventually prelim, riding camp,local shows etc....
I know I ride above my actual ability, I know my balance is off, my position is wrong etc, but I still want to do it....but I make no claims that I'm a great rider...and if I do get a rosette it's 99.9% down to my horse! lol.
But that's ok isn't it?

But can see where you're coming from...it's like with anything in life, there's someone who always has to say they're 'better' at whatever you're doing/talking about...whether horses, school, life. lol

But I also think there's nothing wrong with dreaming bigger than your abilities...just don't hurt others in the process

 

[hobbit]

I think it is a low self esteem thing, I always excuse them thinking that they were probably brought up by parents for whom nothing was ever good enough and they have grown up being very defensive. I try not to think badly of them as I always think they must be very unhappy inside.
Sorry if this sounds a bit touchy/feely pc but I was brought up in a family where you were never allowed to do something just for fun and if you were considered to not be doing well enough at something you got one warning and then stopped from.doing it if you didn't improve enough.
I remember doing my ABRS TEST in stable management, I think it was test 5, and I managed to get 99% and was soooo thrilled. I went home and told my mother, really excited, and she looked at me and said, really nastily " so what did you get wrong?"--I was so crushed! Should have expected it as I was an adult by then but it is hard to get over that sort of upbringing.

Also agree with this...all through school my best friend was always better than me academically (A*s and A's), and I got the odd A* and A with mostly B's, and I was always proud of this...but was always compared to my friend by my dad...so I do sometimes feel worst when friends do better than me, not out of jealousy and spite, as totally happy for them...but in disappointment in myself, feeling my dads disappointment coming through....that in something I love doing, I can't even be good at that...so can see how people might big themselves up...but at end of day, they know the truth.

 

[AliceCrail]

Showpony, I sympathise as I'm in a similar situation.

I've just moved yards, but at the last one (which I loved until it all went wrong a few months ago) were two teenage girls and their mothers. The girls were doing well, the mothers were working their backsides off in that way that only horsey mums do! And there I was with two small kids trying to get my confidence (and some muscle tone) back. The girls and their parents were very helpful, but I just knew they were all wondering why I had these two rather nice TBs when I barely rode. At various times the girls rode my horses for me, and were keen to show me what they had taught them. It was hard to point out that this is stuff they had already done without sounding like I was making it all up! One of the girls very sweetly offered to give me lessons, and all were quite surprised when I started going out and about to shows and things and more often than not, bringing rosettes back (just little RC things)

So now when I hear boasting, I try not to dismiss it as I used to, because maybe there was something in it once upon a time!

 

[HaffiesRock]

I gave my sharer notice yesterday, and embelishing the truth was one of the reasons. My ponies are not perfect but they are not far off behaviour wise and they don't do any of the things sharer claimed. Apparently she has been bolted with, bronced with, both ponies buck a lot and even reared, and she had been bitten and kicked at least 10 times. I took it with a pinch of salt for ages as hand on heart, nothing had ever happened like that and she was only 19. I hacked with her and watched her school but the behaviour only happened when she was behind me or when i turned my back for a second! The final straw came last week when we went to a show and she groomed for me. I plaited up my young mare and could have cried at how well behaved she was! She's fidgety anyway but stood for an hour, really still while I plaited. Sharer then hacked her over with me on my boy. Mare was impeccably behaved all day even though she'd never seen a show ground before, was placed in both classes and I was so proud! So imagine my upset when sharer told my best friend, mum and dad that my mare had been a nightmare to get ready, kicked out at her and been a swearword to hack! I was completely gutted. I couldn't take it anymore so got rid. Exaggerating is one thing, but lies are another! P.s. she was late on show morning so wasnt even there when I was getting her ready!

 

[PaddyMonty]

TBH people talking up their ability really doesn't bother me. The only people they are generally kidding is themselves.
What does get me is the number of people who believe they are the only ones who can ride or look after their horse properly. Yeah right.
Oh and horses wearing fly fringes in Unaff SJ.
I did make the mistake once of putting myself down as an intermediate rider when I went for a hack at a riding school. Had to get off half way round to see if horse had a pulse.

 

[PolarSkye]

Interesting topic for a thread. I've known people at both ends of this spectrum . . . really (and I mean REALLY) good riders who didn't let on just how good they were until someone caught a sneaky peak . . . and people who just had to embellish/big themselves up at every opportunity, e.g., their horse is the naughtiest, spookiest, sharpest, most difficult to ride on the planet (and no'one but them can get a tune of out if . . . or they won all of their classes, neglecting to mention that either they were the only one in the class or the class was teeny tiny (2 or 3 entries).

I agree that the exaggerators are often deeply insecure . . . but don't they know that they will invariably be found out? I find that baffling, really - and more than a bit sad.

P

 

[misskk88]

I haven't read other peoples posts, but where I keep my horse we tend to have pretty modest bunch of people, so I don't tend to hear this too much. Most are aware of their talent, but they just get on with it! I treasure my yard- no matter what ability, level or experience of rider or horse, we tend to all cheer each other on, whether its at a competition or schooling.

I am very much like you, I don't proclaim to be anything special- I am not competitive and I just enjoy horses. In fact I know I am an average rider, but I ride to the best I can, my horse is well cared for and comfortable and her welfare is most important. I would say as a teen I was probably more talented, as I had no nerves and no fear. Damn growing old and wise!

Saying that though, I meet people like this all the time outside of our yard... I hear "oh yes, I have ridden at X, Y, Z, I use to have a horse that did that, try this". Now I wouldn't mind if it was someone that knew me or my horse, but often they don't and usually they are techniques that I am aware of, but have no use or end benefit!

 

[Horsewithsocks]

I try not to care, as long as their horse is treated properly. I do rather laugh at the 'post every day what I have done and what I have bought for my horse' on Facebook. However, I think it is a form of boasting.

 

[misskk88]

I should add as well that this goes for yard owners and trainers as much as the riders about their abilities and own skills! I looked at another livery yard a few weeks ago (due to financial issues, not because I want to leave my current one). It sounded and looked lovely, while viewing the fields and riding school. She told me about her 30 years experience with horses, how long she's owned the yard, her riding ability, taken on rescue horses etc..... Then she took me for a look around the stables and at the horses. They were either immenseley overweight (I don't mind a bit of junk in the trunk, but these were seriously overweight horses!), or they lacked any muscle or weight in the right places. When I asked the age of her big 17h horse, I was expecting her to say at least in its late teens/twenties.... He was 9!!!

She truly did care for these horses, and they were happy enough, but I was shocked to say the least, considering she has 15 years more experience on me!

 

[Woolly Hat n Wellies]

The final straw came last week when we went to a show and she groomed for me. I plaited up my young mare and could have cried at how well behaved she was! She's fidgety anyway but stood for an hour, really still while I plaited. Sharer then hacked her over with me on my boy. Mare was impeccably behaved all day even though she'd never seen a show ground before, was placed in both classes and I was so proud! So imagine my upset when sharer told my best friend, mum and dad that my mare had been a nightmare to get ready, kicked out at her and been a swearword to hack! I was completely gutted. I couldn't take it anymore so got rid. Exaggerating is one thing, but lies are another! P.s. she was late on show morning so wasnt even there when I was getting her ready!

Congratulations to your mare for standing so long to be plaited and for being placed, for a fidgety youngster doing it for the first time, that's a fantastic achievement! I don't blame you for sending a sharer who makes up bad behaviour packing, it sounds like you should be really proud of your mare. What a shame for someone to try to spoil it!

 

[Equilibrium Ireland]

These threads are weird. Someone writes they hate people talking about their accomplishments then writes but I'm really happy doing what I do. Still seems like needing justification to me in a different form.

In all honesty, it's ok to be proud of real achievements. But in this day and age that gets you loads of backlash and resentment. And real achievements don't have to be Olympic medals. I get people who lie and make stuff up. But one shouldn't mix up the two. As far as FB is concerned, delete them. My FB page is just that. My page. If you don't like what I post hit unfriend. Mind you I'm sure you won't find " look what I just bought" posts.

Terri

 

[webble]

These threads are weird. Someone writes they hate people talking about their accomplishments then writes but I'm really happy doing what I do. Still seems like needing justification to me in a different form.

In all honesty, it's ok to be proud of real achievements. But in this day and age that gets you loads of backlash and resentment. And real achievements don't have to be Olympic medals. I get people who lie and make stuff up. But one shouldn't mix up the two. As far as FB is concerned, delete them. My FB page is just that. My page. If you don't like what I post hit unfriend. Mind you I'm sure you won't find " look what I just bought" posts.

Terri

No not if the accomplishments are true its when they are enhanced or completely made up people dont like/understand it

 

[skint1]

Sometimes people genuinely don't know what they don't know if that makes sense, that was us when I bought my daughter her first horse. Her pony had always been a challenging little fellow and so I thought she'd be fine with a 3yo just of the track ex racer. I guess with some horses we'd have got away with our novice-ness, but not with her. We learned a lot, that is for sure.

Also, if you've always ridden well behaved easy going horses you can develop a false sense of your skills, then meet a horse that reveals the holes in your skill set