Person we sold our horse to wants us to buy him back...

PogoPumpkinBecky

PogoPumpkinBecky

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We sold our horse 1 month ago to someone we had known roughly for a while and she had been riding him on and off for about a year. We put him up for sale and she decided to buy him (she has had horses before and is experienced just getting on a bit!).
She has had him just one month and has fallen off him a couple of times, when he has spooked on a hack. He is a 14.2 cob and is the easiest horse ever to sit on and will never deliberately try to get you off. In the 3 years we had him I fell off him once in the 2nd week we had him. And I am not the most amazing confident rider, so he is a good allround horse. The only issue we had when we first got him was he tried us out a bit (which is what he is doing with his new owner), but lots of horses are bound to try there way if they can see an opportunity to do so! if she gives it more time he wont bother anymore!
She is saying she is scared to ride him and that can we buy him back. Problem is we don't have the money to buy him back and it would be very difficult to accomodate him again. Should we feel we owe it to her to have him back or is it her problem? Obviously i don't want him ending up anywhere bad, and the lady is lovely so i doubt he would, but our feeliings are she needs to give it more time with him before giving up.
Sorry for the essay couldn't work out how to shorten it! How would you feel and what are your thoughts?
 
Can she go and have some lessons until she gets her confidence back and he stops testing her ? or has she really bitten off more than she can cope with actually owning and being responsible for a horse ?
 
You don't have any legal obligation to buy him back - but a moral one? Who knows?

You say she knew the horse and had been riding him a bit for a year, did she have any problems then?

Perhaps you could offer to go and help her out with him so that she can get her confidence back after her falls and then hopefully she can go on to have a good relationship with the horse.

If you think she is going to sell him on to just 'anyone' and you don't want that to happen, then I guess you could buy him back. But if you do this, take into consideration the cost to you of stabling him again, and advertising him again, and make an offer to her that reflects that. She cannot realistically expect you to give her back the same amount she paid you.
 
Maybe offer to give her some help with him if she's local, so box over to her's and go for hacks together and give her some lessons on him?
 
Tell her you will take him back for a drop in the original price and then sell him again, or tell her to sell him herself - really depends on your situation.
 
Could you offer to have him back to sell on her behalf.

That way your helping her, no money is exchanged apart her covering your costs, and then you are in controll of finding your horse a lovely new home
:)
 
She didn't have any problems riding him before, she really loved riding him.
She has had lessons on him already not sure how many though.
We have offered to go over and ride him, take my pony to ride with her while she is still nervous, and we have given her all the advise we can give.
We know the pony inside out and he has not got a bad bone in his body but he is a horse with his own mind. At ours he was the perfect horse, thats why i think with time he would be perfect for he.
Selling him on her behalf is a good idea, we might suggest that if we can't talk her out of selling him. we really hope she carries on with him, a month is not very long in our opinion.
Thanks for your views.:)
 
Has she changed anything in the way he is managed feed,turnout, exercise that could cause him to be more spooky?

You are under no obligation to buy the horse back, but perhaps you could offer to help resell the horse for her if she is local by going and exercising it or showing it to potential buyers.
 
Leave well alone and don't get involved.
If you can't afford the buy back, then tell her straight and let her sell on.
By getting involved and "wanting to help", you just prolong the problem, if she ain't happy then she's best getting rid.
 
You have my sympathy. I sold a cob I have had for 6 years who has always been perfectly safe and mannered. She was well tried before she went to her new home, but in the first week BIT her new owner! I was well shocked as she has never displayed even a hint of bad manners, so could only put it down to insecurity in a new home, but the new owner not really knowing the "real" her, had already lost her confidence in her. I have NO DOUBT that given longer she WOULD have settled in and been everything they could wish for.....but they do not know her like I do. I couldnt buy her back, but have taken her back to sell on for them as I KNOW this behaviour was and is out of character - it never ceases to amaze me how even the most laid back animal can react in a new home

I have come to the conclusion that a lot of Novice/nervous owners are not equipped with the knowledge, patience or experience required to settle in even the quietest of ponies (obviously! or they wouldnt be novice!) so it becomes a vicious circle

If anyone knows the answer to such situations both me, my trusty cob and any potential owners would love to know! It seems "TIME" is not an option in this day and age
 
I have found that horses and ponies can take a while to settle into a new home. 4 weeks is not long at all.

I do not think you should buy it back, unless at a reduced price say 75% of original, because you have to readvertise etc. But I do think selling it for her would get you both the best result.

I would sit down and have a talk with her. Explain that you do feel more time would solve the issue, but if she really does not want to try for a bit longer, lay out the other two options. Let her know that you really do not have the money. No doubt why it was for sale in the first place, and that you would prefer to sell it on for her.

Is she intending on looking for another horse, what does her instructor say about the horse? All new horses are a learning curve, it may be a case of better the devil you know.
 
Look, its not practical, but if it was my horse I would take a twin track strategy. Not for the woman, but because I feel some obligation to any horse that passes through my life .

As Jeeves said, 1 month isn't that long so I would see if I could keep it exercised for a while, while she tried to rebuild her confidence.

At the same time, I would advertise the horse and help her sell it, maybe ask for a 10% commission or something for your time (OK, I always loose money on horses so I wouldn't ask for that, but would consider it reasonable.)

I suspect she feel she is now landed with a horse and just needs to have a comfort net of a possible way out and who knows, it may settle in and all work out just fine?
 
canteron said:
Look, its not practical, but if it was my horse I would take a twin track strategy. Not for the woman, but because I feel some obligation to any horse that passes through my life .

As Jeeves said, 1 month isn't that long so I would see if I could keep it exercised for a while, while she tried to rebuild her confidence.

At the same time, I would advertise the horse and help her sell it, maybe ask for a 10% commission or something for your time (OK, I always loose money on horses so I wouldn't ask for that, but would consider it reasonable.)

I suspect she feel she is now landed with a horse and just needs to have a comfort net of a possible way out and who knows, it may settle in and all work out just fine?
Click to expand...

Like this idea too,
 
If she rode him for a year with no problems then my guess is she's feeding him too much, especially at this time of the year.
 
You'd think she'd know him though having ridden him on and off for a year ?? very strange, god everyone falls off, I've done it twice in 10 mins once, I've fallen off from a walk when he spooked a a big rock, I wasn't looking, I was turned round chatting, came round a corner and bump I was on the floor. I've been hanging off a gate post and he just carried on walking, I could go on ...........................
 
Horses change when they get moved, it takes ages.

I put my super safe horse out on loan, he bucked the girl off after about 2 months of her riding in the school everyday - he had never bucked before and since I have had him back - has never done it since, he just didn't like her :rolleyes: he wanted to come home and go hunting again :)

Anyway, if you haven't got the money - she will have to sell him on, not much you can do really.
 
LOL, its happened to me a couple of times. I always sell with the option for first refusal if they are sold again.

Sold a cracking cob because I had no rider. 6 months later, owner rings up, having lost her job, she needs to sell.
Got lorry, took orginal purchase price in cash, and brought him home without seeing him first. Found a fat cob with his mane and feathers cut off with scissors instead of the fit, handsome horse I had sold. The lady still loves him and comes to visit him 5 years on.

Sold a 3 yr old, unbacked because I was needing a couple of leg ops and couldn't ride.
15 months later, owner asks if I can have the horse on loan for a year as she was finding backing and bringing on more challenging than she realised. Had her back and have spent the last 6 months training horse and building up confidence with owner, who is absolutely chuffed with little horse.

I feel that a horse needs as many friends as possible in this uncertain life and any horse that passes through my stable, has a life long friend in me. I might not always be able to buy or take back, but would certainly do everything I could to help.

OP, offer to help sell on is a good idea if the new owner doesn't have the heart to overcome the settling in issues.
 
I too bought a "confidence giving, safe and sensible, for all the family" cob and he has been a nightmare. OK he needed time to settle in but we are nearly 2 years down the line now, and I have lost my confidence with him now. Therefore, I can sympathise with the lady as she has lost confidence, but agree with others that she hasnt had him very long and although she has been riding him, if he has changed surroundings, field mates etc, he will need time. She needs to give more time, but if you are concerned about the horses future and are able to take him back, even if its on a selling on basis perhaps that is the best way to go. You are not obliged to do this. After all you could then sell on to someone else who doesnt get on with him and face it all over again !
 
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I tried desperatly to get my dealer friend to take Ellie back over and over again. For the first 9 months of owning her we'd seen issue after issue raising it's head and I'd spent to many sleepless nights whittling,worrying and crying.

Every time I asked to return her, the dealer said that she would take her or maybe swap her for something else, not yet though, as she didn't have any room and could I possibly wait a couple of months until she did?

Then the last time I asked, she offered me this little cob that had spent her life as a brood mare. As I watched her trot around obedient and kind, I realised that she wasn't at all what I wanted, but what I really wanted was Ellie and that I needed and had to make it to work.

How clever was that dealer as she couldn't drag Ellie from my dying hands now. She's the perfect horse for me:D

Your buyer needs to give the pony a good chance, which will give her one too if she's patient.:D Perhaps you should point her to this thread?
 
horserider said:
I feel that a horse needs as many friends as possible in this uncertain life and any horse that passes through my stable, has a life long friend in me. I might not always be able to buy or take back, but would certainly do everything I could to help.
Click to expand...

What an excellent philosophy :)
 
oh what a shame, a month really isn't long at all. If there is any way you can persuade her to give the horse a bit more time, even if you have to intervene a bit to help out, I would try and do that. But of course this depends on how much time you really can spare and how much it matters to you if she did just pass the horse on and you lost touch with it. Very frustrating when this happens though and you know the horse is genuine.

I bought a 'safe' cob for my Mum about 6 years ago and after just a few days she started carting off when being led (never when being ridden), my poor Mum was petrified and I had to move the horse to the yard where I had my horse (poor thing moving twice in a few weeks). True enough she kept carting off with me but I did eventually sort it, but Mum didnt have the confidence to take the horse back though she used to come and ride it at my yard (if I brought it in for her!). Her confidence never really recovered with that horse though and after a couple of years we decided to sell her on. I had not even got as far as putting the ad up and a girl at the yard offered me the asking price in cash as she'd been admiring the horse for months. I was delighted as it meant the horse wouldn't be moving yards, however just a simple change of handler and routine and she started her carting off problems again. Fortunately the girl who bought her was not phased by it and worked through it and 6 years down the line they still own her and ADORE the horse and I still get to ride her from time to time too and she really is a safe cob, her 7 year old daughter can lead her in now (surpervised of course!).
 
Well there is nothing that says you have to buy him back as she knew the horse before buying him and i assume was sold privately 'as seen'.

Maybe you can spare the time to help her out initially. It sounds like it would be a shame for him to be sold in a rush to someone else if you do not buy him back and sounds like the lady has been more than competent with him in the past so as you say it is a good home for him to be in.

I think many new horse owners get nervous when the horse becomes theirs so maybe she just needs time... we have all been there!
 
I've been in the reverse situation.

I bought a new horse 3 months ago and when I tried him he was a dream. Not an easy ride but almost exactly what I was looking for - a youngish horse with good potential to compete. I tried him a couple of times, agreed a price, and brought him home after the vetting. He was sold as having no vices, good to hack and no medical problems.

He spent the first two nights practically trotting round his stable and during the day he would pace up and down the field.

He's been cribbing, has been a nightmare rearing up at the bottom of the ramp trying to load him etc. To ride he was napping horrendously on hacks, taking off at a gallop towards a fence and generally being an arse. But then there were just the odd times (about 10 minutes at a time for the first few weeks!!) when he stopped buggering about and reminded me why I bought him in the first place.

I had loads of people say I should send him back but time, patience, repetition, and some firm but gentle reminders of who the boss is and we are now spending more time behaving and less time pratting about and trying to get one up on me.

I was lucky that I new he had it in him and I was prepared to give it time to show - admittedly the small glimpses he gave me were enough! Plus I had to make it work - he wasn't cheap - and my OH would actually have flipped if I'd spent all that money and then had to send him back!!

Just over 3 months down the line he's now loading ok, generally being ok to school and we've been to some shows without flipping out! We got our first rosette last weekend too! The jumping still needs work and hacking he is still being quite nappy but we're getting there! It's obviously just taken him a really long time to settle


A month is not that long but if she's really lost her confidence then maybe she's best to sell. I like the idea of you selling him for her as if she's nervous then she probably won't present him in the best light. Or if she's willing to see it through for a little longer then you helping her / riding him for her would also be a good idea.
 
Oh dear, this story is similar to mine, but I was the buyer.

I recently bought a trustworthy cob having lost confidence on a TB I had on loan. I should add at this point that I've owned horses for over 30 years, hunted, team chased & owned 3 other TBs. However... I'm also the wrong side of 40, infact nearer 50.

Cobby was going well until we met a stray helium foil balloon in the middle of nowhere & she panicked when it blew straight in to her. She dropped me but luckily came back. I could understand how it had happened & had no hesitation in remounting, however, she was obviously still a bit shaken & bolted when I was half on. Result was a heavier fall than the first & I was shocked at her reaction.

This has seriously dented my confidence in her despite my knowing why she reacted like that. I now am finding excuses not to ride & need a kick up the backside. i can completely understand why the new owner has reacted in this way. It really hurts when you fall off when you're older & your confidence becomes very fragile.

I'm going to get over this, and I do need support, but if I come off again I'm not sure I'll persevere.

If you're willing to help her out by hacking him yourself or going out with her on a bike she may get over it. If not, if it was my (previous) horse, I'd try & sell him for her.
 
My mum aquired an advanced Dressage school master ... a replacement for another horse, to get herself out of the previous deal (long story, and an pre-existing injury of the original horse)
She tried him a few times, but the day she collected him, he did a massive leap in the air off all fours from a walk for no reason at all - and so the seed of doubt was sowed.

She bought him home, he was very unsettled, and the more my mum rode him the more her confidence evaporated. He felt like he could go into one, had his barnet in the air, and just for good measure chucked a few further leaps just to destroy any shred of confidence she had left.

Now don't get me wrong, my mum is a very competent and experience rider, and her other horse is quite frankly a plonker, but because he's a known quantity it doesn't bother her.

Anyhoo, she took the step to put him into Livery at a friends yard. The owner of the yard and her daughter are Dressage riders too, and started to help her with lessons a couple of times a week, and schooling inbetween.
There's been tears along the way, and threats to give up altogether and sell him.

However 18 months later, having taken him back to basics, and had an awful lot of help, she genuinely has an absolute superstar. Don't get me wrong, he's not anyones ride, but she has had little successes, and faced her demons one at a time to get her to where she is today.

Fundamentally, he adores my mum, and he trusts her. He loves it at the yard, is in a routine, and is a completely different horse.
My mum adores him too, and he's the best horse she's ever had.
Don't get me wrong, he still has his off days, but they are few and far between. So much so, she took him on the lorry for a Dressage lesson away from home a few weeks ago, and he was a super star (even with a breakdown on the Motorway for an hour). 6 months before at a venue his leapt, bucked then stopped dead and she fell off, which set her back a bit

In hindsight, and knowing him, he had not been at the dealers for very long when she bought him, had clearly been in a private home in Holland looking at his records, and he definitley gets upset by certain things. And knowing that, looking back we can see why it all started to go wrong.

I guess (having written war and peace) what i'm trying to say, is she needs help and support. But more importantly the horse needs to trust her. And at the moment the pair of them are probably feeding each other.
Does she have him at home or in Livery. I think Livery, with a kind and understanding support network is what she needs.

Failing that, the idea of you offering to help sell him seems the next best thing if she really doesn't believe she can come back from it. However she must also realise horses are horses, and even the most level headed ones can be different out of their comfort zone. Hope it works out ok

PS - Legaldancer, my mums 65 :-) and an inspiration for other seniors - including me at 38. Sadly she can't see it herself, although has learnt to take the pressure off herself a bit
 
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