Persuade me to go out competing!

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BBP

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I have a lovely little horse who is 9 now and is still very low mileage. I keep finding excuses not to get him out and about and it's not doing him any favours. He is a hot sharp little horse and I get crippling competition nerves, which I think riding a hot horse doesn't really help! This year I have made a real effort to get him out to the gallops and hacks away from home, the odd lesson and various non-competition things. He travels brilliantly in company but is a little nervous alone, which again makes me worry about getting him out more. He is well behaved at the box at competitions, usually standing well to be tacked up etc. And yes, when I get on and get to the warm up he can throw the odd rodeo session, but actually hasn't done anything terrible in the last year, just been understandably excited.

So why am I so horribly nervous at the idea of competing him? I seem to go to pieces riding him at competition venues, I don't get my leg on, I don't ride him forwards (he has a tendency to shoot off which makes me take my leg off rather than ride him), I worry i'll upset his confidence over fences and generally the whole idea makes me pretty anxious. i also keep thinking about how not ready we are, how im not good enough at riding yet, my contact isn't consistent enough to go out to dressage where they will pull me to pieces. Or people will think badly of him, when actually he is an incredible little horse who puts up with a lot from me.

Please persuade me how beneficial it will be for him, how much fun we will have, anything to get me out there! I know once I've done a few it won't seem so bad! I am desperate to do a one day event by the end of the year but haven't even been to dressage yet, im such a chicken! Also tips on how you manage your hot horses, do you do more warm up, or less? At our last hunter trial I took him for a hack instead of using the warm up arena and it definitely chilled me out a bit.

It seems such a waste that his talents are only seen by my parents!
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Do it! Even if it's a clear round to get used to it.

I'm the same as you, except I just can't be bothered with the hassle! He looks like an awesome little dude, and it looks like you're already getting out and about so you have nothing to lose!

How about some low-level showing?
 
You sound similar to me - I can get terrible nerves and I often wonder why I feel the need to compete! But there's definitely something about testing your progress and hoping that you can show others when you make progress (arrogant as that sounds), plus you can make some lovely supportive friends. I had a couple of great moments in Hong Kong when random people and judges commented on what a great job I was doing with my ex-racer and it makes all the hours of toil at home feel worth it.

You have two options - either continue to enjoy your lovely boy at lessons, fun rides, xc schooling (which is just fine and he probably doesn't know the difference!) or tackle your nerves. Have a think about what makes you nervous and how you can mitigate that - it's totally individual so what works for others may be very different for you. For me, it really helps to break down the day into sections and make sure that everything is as well-planned as possible with plenty of time spare. No coffee beforehand too as I discovered that caffeine combined with nerves makes me very jumpy. And when my TB was extremely nervous and rodeo-ing in the warm-up, I would sing! I have a terrible voice so got some funny looks but it genuinely helped.

Going for a hack sounds like a good approach for you, have a think about what else you need to do to settle yourself down. And it does get better as you go out more :)
 
Tricky one. In honesty if you don’t enjoy it, don’t do it. Life is too short to do things you don’t enjoy and you don’t have to compete a horse if you don’t want to, regardless of their talent.

On the other hand will you always regret not having a go? Wonder ‘what if’? It sounds as if you will so give it a go. Start small and work your way up. You are doing the right things so far but if you’re holding yourself back find someone to help you. I have a fab trainer who has helped me with my confidence as well as riding with lessons as well as helping me in the warm up. If you have got good friends that will come with you and help when you’re out then make use of them. I will often go and support people when they are out regardless of if I'm competing as I enjoy the day out and like to see people out enjoying things.
I would also think about seeing a sport physiatrist or something along those lines, your body will follow once your head is going in the right direction. Remember, no one else matters. Not what they think or what they do. Only you and your lovely pony matter, how you feel about the day and what you take away from it matters.

I am the worlds worst at self-doubt, to the point where I have wanted to give up on a number of occasions but I have learnt to turn it around. All that self-criticism means that I am aware of my faults which means I am in a situation to change them. If I didn’t know what I did wrong I couldn’t make the changes and improve, when I improve then I move forward, yes there will always be something but that’s life. I will continue to strive to be the best I can, not for anyone else (although it’s nice when someone says ‘well ridden’ or ‘you’re not bad you know’)

My boy is broken, very broken. I will never be able to compete him again, I'm not even sure I will be able to ride him again. Gutted doesn’t come close. If you want to have a go, then do it, you just don’t know what will happen. I'm mourning the loss of all the things we could have done but won’t, the fact that my lovely, talented horse is now in pain. He isn’t bothered about what he will never do but I am. I ride to compete, nerves and all.
Feeling a bit sick on the way to a show is something I accept, not because I'm worried about how we do but because I want all the hard work at home to come together. And to be honest it did. The harder I worked the easier it got which made me work harder. The shows were like a test to see how we were doing, we then went away with things to work on ready for the next time. So rather than think you’re not ready, think ‘I’ll use this test as a bench mark’ take it away to work with then come back to it.

I'm not sure how useful that answer is. Everyone has different reasons for doing what they do, you need to work out what you want and why, then break it down to how you are going to do it and what works for you. Once you have done that find the people who will help you and you will be well away.

Good luck, he is a cracking little horse and a credit to you.:) Just don’t put yourself under too much pressure, it sucks the enjoyment out of things.
 
I think the more you do it the more it becomes the norm and less of a 'big deal' for you- when I have a break it always becomes a bit more of an issue - the prep as much as the day.

But also don't beat yourself up if you don't want to either, he doesn't know and as long as we get photos occasionally ;) :D
 
Are those photos taken at Waresly and keysoe??? He is a lovely looking boy!! A friend of mine is in a similar situation and whilst I cant join her competing at the moment (rehabbing injured horse) I bully her!!! In the nicest way possible!!! I made her come to the forest with me the other week! She absolutly LOVED it!!! and I will make her join me xc schooling too! (I have a non injured horse i steal for these things!!) Are there not any friends you could go with? to make it less competition but more fun?? My friend just came back from a 2 day riding course at keysoe and absolutely loved it, maybe something like this would help? less competition but still going out and about until you feel brave enough to compete?

Failing that your more than welcome to join me in forest and beach rides and SJ schooling sessions if you would like to get out and about i'm based in Cambridgeshire, perhaps I could introduce you to my friend and both of you could go play at small competitions together?

When i say 'bully her' I'm not mean I just bug her and keep inviting her out until she gives in and joins me!! I'd never ask her to do anything she and her horse aren't capable of but sometimes some people need a little push to go out and about, if you make it fun the nerves soon disappear! I once made her jump all the xc jumps on the course as we walked it by saying if you can jump them on your own, your horse is more than capable! She flew round the next day!! :)
 
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Your pony looks lovely!! I'm quite similar to you, in that I get quite nervous & i always think ill muck it up & we aren't ready. when I sold my old horse, The people who Bought him had him out a comp a couple of weeks after they got him home. That totally inspired me, they weren't waiting till everything was perfect, they were just enjoying him and getting on with it, and that changed my attitude to competing! They weren't particularly experienced riders either & he wasn't the easiest horse. You probably will have a couple of rubbish outings, I've had a few awful dressage scores due to my crap riding but you get over it & move on and improve! I think it helps to seek inspiration from other riders too, a woman on my yard got a terrible score at the winter champs after fluffing her changes & she'd worked so hard!! After I spoke to her I felt silly for being so upset about my rubbish scores at prelim level!!! Have you thought of asking someone to take him out for you & going to watch? I've has a brill friend who rides take mine to his 1st dressage comp & I'm hoping to do the same for his first event after seeking opinions on here, (although I'll be asking my instructor this time) as I'm very nervous of taking my green horse XC cause I think we'll make a complete mess of it, and ruin both of our confidence further. I think it will give me encouragement & confidence to see him do it successfully without any pressure on me? Not sure if you'd be the same? Competing for the first time is scary & that way horse gets to comp with no pressure on you, hopefully increasing your confidence in taking him out. Also, I have a sane, experienced & claim friend who I do most horsey stuff with & when she's there I feel like I won't get out of my depth! Very much like Arniebear says above. I think things like that can help make your first few outings less scary & then your confidence will improve! Good luck!
 
Have you got a decent instructor who will perhaps go along with you to some very low key local comps? Sometimes I find it helps to have someone on the ground who you trust giving you instructions as it takes your mind off things and makes you focus.
 
He is gorgeous!

Start by just taking him to a low key show, with the only intention of riding him around, getting used to the other horses etc. Allow yourself loads of time, don't go if its a blustery windy day! When you are comfortable with this then progress to low key comps, whether that be dressage or clear round, just something that is well beneath your capabilities.

Try and get out at least once a fortnight, you look more than capable and I am sorry if I am stating the obvious, but like others have said, the more you do it the more enjoyable it will be.
 
Thanks for the words of wisdom, you're all very wise! The regretting what we've missed if I don't has struck a chord. My sister has the most brilliant fun competition Connie x, who has had injuries to ddft in both hind legs. He won't jump seriously again and she is gutted as they both love it so much. (They did just win the trec at keysoe so she is just thrilled to be able to do that). I'd hate to be thinking what if with my boy.

So thanks to you all I am formulating a plan. I think it will start with clear round at keysoe next week. My sister has agreed to ride him round first (she never gets nervous and rides positively so he'd get a good first round) and I'd take him in afterwards. Then I'll take a day off work to do a daytime dressage when it's quiet with less spectators. I'm going to make a big effort to go out every week even if it's to hire an arena in the evening.

I don't have a good instructor, I really want one but struggle to get to decent ones (anyone know one in cambs who will come to me?!) I've just had a pay rise at work so I guess this is what my extra pennies will go on!

Arniebear, I was thinking of the keysoe riding courses but wasn't sure I'd like it, any feedback from your friend would be great as there is an august one.
 
She was on her youngster for his first time away at anything like that so he was a bit on edge at all times!! Despite him depositing her as soon as got on, on day one she said she loved it! The instructors were very helpful and didnt push her to do anything she said no to but encouraged her to have a go! She said she had a ball and that everyone was really nice and friendly she has already booked her place on the next one :)
 
What a lovely looking combination you make!
Can you take someone with you who will 'hold your hand' but not let you back out?
You have to find your 'competition zone/mask' and not let your imagination run away with you!
Good Luck :)
 
come and try trec, excellent article in h and h a couple of weeks ago, non threatening, lovely people and lots of help!
 
Your horse is gorgeous!! And you look like you're most certainly riding him well enough to be able to compete, if that's what you want. Most horse people remember what it was like to start out in competitions - we've all been there - and those that can't remember, well, those people aren't worth listening to anyway.

I think it sounds like a good idea to go with your sister, and the daytime competitions are a good idea too. Push yourself a little bit, see how it goes. In a year or so, assess where you're at - if you still don't enjoy competing, there's no need to do it too much. Your horse won't care whether it's a competition or a training session.

Also, have you heard of competing online? Dressage Anywhere (http://www.dressageanywhere.com/) and Interdressage (http://www.interdressage.com/) both offer competitions where you video yourself and get scoresheets from your video online. It won't help you get used to the show atmosphere, but might make you confident that you are good enough for the test you're competing in? Worth a try if you have someone with a video camera. :)
 
Its fun if taken the right way. We have a great thing going at our yard ,organised by one of the liverys. Very unstressfull dressage,judged by stan stan the dressage man (a BD judge), who gives fantastic de breifs after our little competition. (he also has a keen eye and judges us according to our experience) . He is not averse to leaping in and turning it into a dressage lesson.If you could find somthing similar, competition would cease to hold any fears for you.
 
KatPT said:
I think it will start with clear round at keysoe next week. Then I'll take a day off work to do a daytime dressage when it's quiet with less spectators.
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If its keysoe you plan to do dressage at then I would avoid the 23rd of july as this is the last comp prior to BD regionals and is likely to be crazy busy. 9th would be much better. I'll be there then if you want / need a friendly face.
 
He's a beauty!!

It's addictive :) Go to one to break the cycle and you'll want to be competing all the time!

I also think I've finally got to the stage where I can just laugh if it all goes wrong :p Which it frequently does for us!! ;)

Are you part of a riding club?
 
Go for it!! After a couple of outings you'll wonder what all the worry was about!

I had never competed before but entered my first competition last September. My horse can be difficult so not only did I have the panic of actually going to a competition, I also had the worry that my horse would be an absolute PITA! I felt sick with nerves, hardly ate the week building up to it and nearly withdrew countless times as the nerves where hitting me like a tonne of bricks!. Thankfully I managed not to vomit on the day and my horse behaved herself; what's more, I actually enjoyed it and have now been bitten by the competing bug! (and luckily the nerves have now subsided!).
 
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