Please excuse me while I die of idiot disease.

Ha ha ha ha ha I think we all have day like that hun and its always the day when someone you think is cough " easy on the eye" ;) turns uo with me its the vet or rather whe he brings the new vet with him cough cough Im usually covered in crap from cleaning the open fires out of shoving crap from the fields and covered in mud so your not alone and OH always makes them a brew
 
Lunch plans have now changed for today .... I am having to go to Tesco to buy Tena Lady...

Can't believe I have never read this thread before... Starzaan you are my hero. And I now have an absolute craving for a sausage harharhar..!!!!!! :p

We need an update on FF.. whats the recent goss???? :D
 
oh glad it is not just me... brought back similar memories of me shuffling around in my mums large and olive green track pants after I had come home from hospital after an operation, and the farrier turned up. Yes really embarrassing... and me trying to explain it even more embarrassing.
 
Starzaan said:
I just had a morag related incident...

being the delightful and kind person that I am, I volunteered to go over and jump a friend's horse for her because he's a pig who likes to refuse and run out and bronc and generally be a pillock at the beginning of the season...

So after forty minutes of being bucked with and managing to get him over about three fences, I decided I was too bloody hot and stripped down to just breeches, boots, THE turquoise morag restrainer, and a strappy top thing....

I got the bugger over a hefty 1m30 upright....after which he broncked like there was no tomorrow, at which point my emergency orange thread repair job to the strap of my morag restrainer SNAPPED...

now picture me being broncked with on 17.3hh of warmblood, while my (not so tiny) morags flap around like two enormous flapping things, hitting me in the eyes, and basically wafting about FAR TOO MUCH for my liking.

Said friend is at this point rolling around on the floor shrieking with laughter and screaming "YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME BREAK THE GOLDEN SEAL YOU SLAG!!" (meaning, "I'm going to dribble in my knicknacks").... sexy yard handy man walks in to see my morags all akimbo, hearing friend screaming that she's weeing all over the shop and it's my fault, and hears me shrieking "ATLAS YOU EFFING C I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU INTO CHESTNUT WARMBLOOD BURGERS IF YOU DON'T STOP MAKING MY MORAGS BANG AROUND!!!!"

Exit handyman.









Handyman returns....with friends.







I think I might have to go to the doctor with pulled morags.
Click to expand...

Good Lord!! just when i thought it couldnt get any funnier!!!
I love it :D i just choked on the juice of a small orange! :D
 
come in and have a sausage? ....

LOLOLOLOLOL

*breathebreathe*

LOLOLOLOLOL

*chokes*

deary meee! your mum has just given me the biggest fit of the giggles! hats off to the woman!
 
Lol! So now I'm rolling around the floor unable to get a word out to explain my tears of laughter to a stunned hubby!

How to explain I too have had a strap snap whilst enjoying a mad hack and ended up with two morag shaped black eyes? ;) :)
 
Starzaan! I've been at my uncles house he's teaching me german and my auntie shouts in 'Elinor, how many sausages would you like with your dinner?' ohmygod I was already sat on the floor so I couldn't fall of my chair but I snorted repeatedly rolled around crying whilst yelling 'would you like a sausage?' with images of you, your mother and FF I think I may get sent to a pshyvo home... By the way we need an update it's been 2 months!
 
I re-read this whole fiasco whilst on the Eurostar coming home from Paris last night.



How do I function? I had to do the walk of shame through Paris with no bra on the other day because the lovely man passed out on TOP of my bra.

He didn't wake up when I fell out of the loo and landed in his wardrobe (still somewhat tiddly and trying to be quiet), so I had no hope of rousing him to retrieve it.


Nice bra too.



God. I should be locked away and left with a pile of lemons and a lighter.
 
Don't worry, it is in fact 'de rigeur' to walk bra less through Paris, dontcha know! Quite wrong, in fact, to wear a bra in that city. Probably. I confess I was at all times, 'with bra' when I lived there. No wonder people looked at me funny! Silly me!
 
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Another request for bumping for a good old laughy laugh.

A quick moragulous update - my cat has jut pierced my morag. SHE PIERCED IT.

It's like my soapy balloon. All deflated and sad like a sad thing.
 
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