Pondering about yard bitchiness

Claire-R

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The yard that I'm at with queenbe and lurcher lu is brilliant everyone is helpful and friendly. There is one girl that is a bit of a drama queen and a stirer, she was at the last yard I was at before and was a big problem there and she has been kicked off 2 yards before that :/
 

Queenbee

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The yard that I'm at with queenbe and lurcher lu is brilliant everyone is helpful and friendly. There is one girl that is a bit of a drama queen and a stirer, she was at the last yard I was at before and was a big problem there and she has been kicked off 2 yards before that :/

Lol, Hmm Claire, I wonder who on earth you could be talking about???!! ;) to be honest, we are exceptionally lucky at our yard, completely agree with Claire, it's fun, friendly and very supportive. The person in question is just one of these people that defies logic more than anything, you just want to throttle her for her utter stupidity.
 

Goldenstar

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I happily don't have to endure being on a livery yard .
But I did enjoy the time I had my new horse on the yard I bought him from it was relaxing and fun turning up to ride with nothing to do or organise .
I would been very happy to be there long term if I did not have a place .
Facebook , I don't really do Facebook but it seems to cause large amounts of trouble
 

Luci07

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Echo some of the earlier comments...you do reap what you sow on a yard. I work out whom I don't like and give them a wide berth, arrange to meet with my friends and found labelling my stuff clearly meant a lot less stress as items don't walk or are easily reclaimed. I also adhere to the principle that I don't give a monkey about the opinion of someone I don't respect so they can say what they like...it's irrelevant. Or if I have someone who is particularly pushy, I have just confronted them politely.
 

Delhi Belly

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Mushroom - think all yards I've been on have had a tea room. IMO yards where people spend more time gossiping than riding are likely to be trouble!

Totally agree. Brew rooms should have a cauldron, not a kettle as it's generally the yard witches who spend their time in there. And it's always the people who spend the rest of the time saying "I just get on with my own horses, I don't get involved in stuff", when in fact it is they who have caused the problems. And when there is nobody else at the yard to bitch in the brew room with them, they suddenly become your friend and come and sit watching you do your horses. I never ever go in the tea room and find headphones a very useful tool.
 

Lunchbox legend

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I've been incredibly lucky (or maybe just oblivious to it all ;) ) and haven't come across any of this on the yards I've been on. There was one yard where I noticed a bit of friction and backbiting but I just stayed out of it (I rather suspect it went a bit deeper than I knew). I fall in the 'say-hello-pass-the-time-of-day-and-enjoy-your-horse' camp. If I want stress and unpleasantness I can just go call an ex-boyfriend or an ex-boss thank you very much ;) :D .

Golly, I didn't know such things existed on yards!
I was stunned when I came onto my current yard, which is an American barn set-up. In one corner of the barn, next to the kitchen, are two sofas and a large coffee table! ...ususally with glasses of wine on it. The sofas aren't often occupied as we're all busy mucking out and riding but I just love it that they're there :) . (And, no, none of us are rich or posh :D ).

I think we can take steps to control our environment to a degree and we can certainly control how we view other people's comments and how we react to them.
 

trottingon

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I'm on a really big livery yard (60+) horses and ponies, with a range of owners from 3 to 70yrs old. It's a mix of beginners part loaning their first ponies, happy hackers, showing people and eventers. We all rub along pretty well there's a few people who aren't my cup of tea, people who I'll have a quick hello/goodbye with, and a few people who I've made really good friends with. There's the occasional drama, the occasional falling out, but generally we all get along really well. So it can work.
Previously I've been on a couple of small yards which were great, and a 14/15 horse yard with a resident absolute b*tch who's aim in life was to choose her prey and make their yard life hell, unfortunately I was a bit fragile at the time so rather than deal with her I decided to move (shame as it was an otherwise great yard!).
A couple of my friends have their own land and stables, but I think I'd be lonely if I did that. I can be as sociable (or not) as I like on a daily basis at the yard, I can do my own thing or go on a big group hack, everyone is really supportive of each other, I love my big yard!!!!
 

WindyStacks

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I'm coming to the conclusion that it's a lot to do with management. If the owners/managers aren't able to separate business and "social" and stamp out any nonsense at the first sign of it, then it's doomed.

I have preferred very big yards in terms of bitchiness, which of course exists - but there will always be someone you get on with - otoh, it can be very intimidating when there's a dozen of the "other" clique and your gang aren't there.

I'm currently 1 of 4 on a working farm. Suits me for now.

I'd love to have them home again as long as I had friends within hacking distance. I've had horses at home before and never saw another soul!
 

Kikke

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I don't think it matters where you go really, you will always come across that one person that creates that atmosphere.

Look I don't agree with that at all. Been at my yard for 5 years. Big yard, competition and riding school so plenty of people. In my time there I have not seen any bitchiness, just a load of friendly people that help each other were needed. The only not so nice people I come across is sometimes people visiting the yard for competitions or lessons.
So there you go it is possible to have a yard without bitchiness.
 

SO1

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It is certainly possible to have yards without bitchiness as I have never been on one with a major problem or perhaps I have never noticed! I have meet many lovely kind people on livery yards, unlike my workplace which has had some serious outbreaks of bitching so that got so out of hand that Directors have had to intervene.

On one yard I was on there was at one stage a group of teenagers who used to roam the yard during the school holidays giggling and whispering and although it made some people feel uncomfortable and one adult livery who was sensitive did cry, I expect these teenagers were talking about school or boys rather than bitching about the other liveries and were probably like this at school and it was just a part of about growing up rather than any malicious intent.

Bitchiness in adults tends to occur when people are unhappy or jealous for whatever reason. If everyone is happy with how the yard is managed and the horses are cared for then there tends to be very little if any bitching.

There are always going to be differences of opinion and how these are communicated is important. Sometimes peace is better than being right and we have to respect other people's choices and interests. Some people like me like doing a low level bit of everything, others like to specialise in one discipline, some people like native ponies, others TB's or warmbloods but we can all share our love of horses and help each other.
 
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