Pony hates yard owner

[Kirstd33]

As the title says my pony hates my yard owner, he's terrified of her, wont go near her, and generally dislikes her which wouldn't be a huge issue apart from the fact that he's kept on a small DIY yard and due to my hours as a teaching assistant (term time) 8.30 - 4.30 I pay her to turn out at 9am with another 4 ponies and bring him in before it gets dark at about 4pm.
Over Xmas I was off for a month so dealt with him daily but since I went back last week its been problematic; he wont be caught initially so she takes the other 2 in, goes back for him and another section A. He gives her the run about for another 15 mins, and on a few occasions she loses her patience gets the section A and leaves him out screaming and galloping up and down the fence line before she goes back for him when he will inveriably be caught.

It all reached a head last night when I got to the yard at 4.40pm to be greeted by YO and several liveries all waiting to verbally abuse me about my pony again messing about, not being caught, then charging YO in the field and knocking her over so she left him. I went up with a bridle (on their advice - I've never had to use one before to lead) caught him straight away and led him the 200 yards down the field and onto the yard with no issue. He was not walking right, to the point of looking lame behind, sweaty and shaking profusely which had soaked through his turnout rug and he was petrified. I stabled, changed his rug and fed him and he calmed down somewhat. I'm having a half day today so I can go up, see him in light, assess whether a vet is needed and bring him in myself.

He's my first owned pony (as a returning adult rider) he is quirky, a 1-1 pony which I know some people will disagree with and he's sensitive; not liking raised voices, hands, whips, or any rough treatment. Not that i'm saying YO has done any of that for a second.

Any advise much appreciated as my only option may be to pop him on grass livery so he doesn't need to come in nightly?

 

[Arzada]

Any advise much appreciated as my only option may be to pop him on grass livery so he doesn't need to come in nightly?

That's what I would do short term while I found an alternative then I'd move

 

[lauragreen85]

I would move if possible, if he was understanding she would maybe take a bucket with her and make it a happy experience

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

I would move him. It will be less stress ful for both of you.

 

[Kirstd33]

Thanks so far for the advice above and I would move him HOWEVER there is a real shortage of livery in my area and its only a 7 min drive from home, also my daughter part loans the YO's pony for the past 12 months so its a tricky one. She's at a loss as to why he is so weary of her and wont be caught in an afternoon. I know he's a little cheeky boy but honestly I have never had a problem catching him in the 9 months I've owned him and the most its taken is a few minutes and a treat out of my pocket.

 

[Abacus]

Do the other horses like her?

 

[MidChristmasCrisis]

Trust your pony…something has happened between him and the YO. If there is anyone else who can catch him in for you try that..no point pushing the point if it’s making him and YO stress.

 

[Mrs G]

I had this with my boy and one particular groom on a yard - he was and has never been a problem for anyone else to bring in. If there was no one else to bring him in they too would end up leaving him to get incredibly upset - frothing with sweat, galloping up and down the fence line then making out it was his/my fault! The groom was rough with the horses and both I and (clearly!) my horse disliked her intensely. Most professional (or even just nice!) horsey people would try to work with you/your horse, not get arsy! I appreciate it is a convenient yard set up otherwise but I know from personal experience that this kind of stress is unhealthy for both your horse and you so don't rule out moving - I was at that yard for years and it took a massive toll - one I didn't fully appreciate until we left!

 

[Arzada]

I got to the yard at 4.40pm to be greeted by YO and several liveries all waiting to verbally abuse me

She's at a loss as to why he is so weary of her and wont be caught in an afternoon.

If I was a flight animal confined in a stable on a yard where I could hear verbal abuse going on I wouldn't want to come in from a field where I can flee and not be subject to whatever is going on on this yard.

 

[nagblagger]

And why should anyone verbally abuse you because they are too incompetent to catch your pony, especially the other liveries.
Could you go to the field with the YO, a few times, but get her to do the catching. Try and work together to solve the issue.

 

[Kirstd33]

Do the other horses like her?

Yes, she has 2 of her own that are very placid, forgiving creatures and she handles another liveries pony there almost daily with no issue. I would say she has a brusque, no nonsense, time short manner that the others don't object to. Mine appreciates a soft word, a quick neck scratch and no sudden or loud movements. I am going to do some more ground work and leading practice though as i understand anyone should be able to handle him. Feeling very despondent over it and wondering whether he's not a keeper.

 

[dorsetladette]

Does he need to come in with everyone else? can he stay out until you get there? If he isn't wound up be someone attempting to catch him would he be happy to be in the field on his own for say 45min to an hour? or could you bring one of his buddys in when you arrive.

ETA just seen your reply above OP. short term could the YO pop him a treat when she walks by him. I might help him think differently of her. Not catch him, but just pop him a treat and walk away, no eye contact, no real interaction just a nice treat and walk away. Eventually he may want to approach her. She almost needs to make it his idea - might help if she is open to it.

 

[Kirstd33]

Does he need to come in with everyone else? can he stay out until you get there? If he isn't wound up be someone attempting to catch him would he be happy to be in the field on his own for say 45min to an hour? or could you bring one of his buddys in when you arrive.

yes I think that may be a viable option, as its getting lighter every night now, so she could leave her section A out with him and I bring them in together when I get there?

 

[ponynutz]

Besides anything else I would be quite affronted if I came down to the yard and was met with verbal abuse simply bc my horse couldn't be caught. That's frankly out of order, yes maybe the yard owner might have liked to have a word if she was irritated but verbal abuse from other liveries (or anyone) isn't on.

It sounds like pony is a keeper for you actually (sounds like you adore him) and perhaps it's the yard that isn't but if you're really not willing to move then, yes, might be in pony's best interests.

 

[Fransurrey]

Trust your pony…something has happened between him and the YO. If there is anyone else who can catch him in for you try that..no point pushing the point if it’s making him and YO stress.

Not necessarily. It could be something about her behaviour that triggers a memory. My YO has barely handled my pony and she's never allowed her to go near her, either. YO is brash, always moves quickly and is completely clueless about sensitive horses - she's not horsey herself and is used to manhandling sheep etc. YO has no patience at all for something/one requiring a 'strategy'.

I would go with either the grass livery or get him a fieldsafe headcollar to allow her to catch more easily with treats. Find his superfood (for mine it's bananas!) and leave some for her. Maybe spend a couple of sessions of a few minutes with her treating him in the field (without catching), then in future sessions leading him in next to you, to try and retrain those thought processes. If you intend to stable long term, it's important that he doesn't just go on grass livery without any input from YO, as you won't move forward. She at least needs to be willing to go in, give him a treat and scratch, then leave.

 

[dottylottie]

i would be a little worried about what happened between pony and YO when you’re not there, but sometimes people and ponies just don’t get on - one of mine does not get on with my mum, and i know for a fact she’s never been anything but nice to her only saying this to put your mind at ease a little bit!

definitely see if the sec a can be left out until you get there, or if you’re paying YO for the services maybe hire a freelancer instead, or pay another livery? YO may not like this, or may just be grateful to no longer have to chase your pony round the field

 

[Fransurrey]

I would say she has a brusque, no nonsense, time short manner that the others don't object to. Mine appreciates a soft word, a quick neck scratch and no sudden or loud movements.

Missed this reply earlier. Sounds like my YO and same applies to my sensitive pony. Interestingly, she has no problem letting other liveries catch her, as they appreciate she's sensitive and act accordingly.

 

[Glitter's fun]

Yes, she has 2 of her own that are very placid, forgiving creatures and she handles another liveries pony there almost daily with no issue. I would say she has a brusque, no nonsense, time short manner that the others don't object to. Mine appreciates a soft word, a quick neck scratch and no sudden or loud movements. I am going to do some more ground work and leading practice though as i understand anyone should be able to handle him. Feeling very despondent over it and wondering whether he's not a keeper.

He suits you in every other way? Definitely sounds like a keeper to me!
He could be a lot worse. There are all sorts of quirks & no pony is perfect but at least this quirk is possible to work round.

Hope he is ok?

Short term you certainly need to change his routine somehow, so he doesn't injure himself or YO.

Long term, you will both be outgrowing this YO who turns to abuse to deal with her inability to handle your pony. Start looking around.

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

Is there an option for your pony to be kept out 24/7 (hopefully with company) at that yard, so it is only you or other people who have no problem catching him, i,e people who he is not terrified of. If not I would move the pony as soon as possible, despite the inconvenience, this is not a suitable yard for the pony you describe.

For me that pony is desperately trying to say something and nobody is listening. You obviously care very much for the pony so its a no brainer IMHO.

 

[snowangel5]

I hope you can figure something out but I just don't understand why when you got to the yard you got verbally abused

 

[Kirstd33]

Well the YO shoulder was hurt by my pony and it had only just happened in full view of them all and I turned up. I am the newbie novice and they have been friends/liveries for years. They have been supportive of me getting pony but like to keep me in my place with reminders of my noviceness and lack of experience I guess.

 

[ponynutz]

Well the YO shoulder was hurt by my pony and it had only just happened in full view of them all and I turned up. I am the newbie novice and they have been friends/liveries for years. They have been supportive of me getting pony but like to keep me in my place with reminders of my noviceness and lack of experience I guess.

This seems like a very toxic environment and borders on bullying I’d say. I’d like you to know that just because you’re a novice does not mean they are better than you, or have a right to “keep you in your place” (whatever that means). Hope you’re okay x

Fair enough if the YO is getting hurt alternative arrangements might need to be made but that should have been a conversation she had with you privately and professionally imo.

 

[Caol Ila]

Well the YO shoulder was hurt by my pony and it had only just happened in full view of them all and I turned up. I am the newbie novice and they have been friends/liveries for years. They have been supportive of me getting pony but like to keep me in my place with reminders of my noviceness and lack of experience I guess.

That's a pants attitude for any yard. I bet there's a whole vibe at the yard that your sensitive pony can feel. It wouldn't surprise me if their handling of him is on the harsh side -- not like beating him or anything, but just particularly brusque and annoyed -- because the idiot novice can show them up, as it were, by catching the bloody horse. People are weird.

I'd find a way to leave the pony out for now, and start looking for a new yard. 'Keeping you in your place' just sounds unpleasant.

 

[Arzada]

Feeling very despondent over it and wondering whether he's not a keeper.

Whoa! He sounds lovely and like a keeper to me. You just need to find a way forward on this yard. Sounds like the Section A companion is well worth a try.

I am the newbie novice and they have been friends/liveries for years. They have been supportive of me getting pony but like to keep me in my place with reminders of my noviceness and lack of experience I guess.

Bear in mind (but maybe not broadcast ), that it is you the newbie novice who can bring in your pony without issue.

 

[Fransurrey]

This seems like a very toxic environment and borders on bullying I’d say. I’d like you to know that just because you’re a novice does not mean they are better than you, or have a right to “keep you in your place” (whatever that means). Hope you’re okay x

Fair enough if the YO is getting hurt alternative arrangements might need to be made but that should have been a conversation she had with you privately and professionally imo.

100 % agree. I hate groups like this. Sounds odd that they all happened to witness it. Is it usual for liveries to line up and spectate someone trying to catch a pony? Surely that just puts extra pressure on what frankly sounds like an already fragile ego!

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

Well the YO shoulder was hurt by my pony and it had only just happened in full view of them all and I turned up. I am the newbie novice and they have been friends/liveries for years. They have been supportive of me getting pony but like to keep me in my place with reminders of my noviceness and lack of experience I guess.

Well I won't stoke any fires here, but just move him off this yard, and yourself. Oh, and your daughter, I am sure she will find another share elsewhere. The place is toxic, no place for either a sensitive pony, new owner or especially a child to be learning not only horse riding and care, but how to behave politely and kindly towards other people no matter it be on a horse yard or anywhere else.

 

[dorsetladette]

This seems like a very toxic environment and borders on bullying I’d say. I’d like you to know that just because you’re a novice does not mean they are better than you, or have a right to “keep you in your place” (whatever that means). Hope you’re okay x

Fair enough if the YO is getting hurt alternative arrangements might need to be made but that should have been a conversation she had with you privately and professionally imo.

I wrote something similar to this and then deleted it.

 

[Vodkagirly]

How is the pony with other people? Could you pay a freelancer to come and get him in?
Or could he be left out with some hay till you can get him? If yard owner turns in to bringer of food it may help his perception of her long term.

 

[Caol Ila]

My Highland also won't be caught easily by people who are brusque and no nonsense and he can be wary of ones he doesn't know. When he was in full livery a couple years ago, he wouldn't be caught by the yard staff. He's now on DIY, and I've got arrangements with other liveries so the staff usually don't have to catch him. Ordinary, puntery amateur horse owners are often a lot softer in their manner than many jaded pros, so they can get him no bother.

When both myself and his other human friends were going out of town at the same time this past autumn, a couple of the grooms worked with me and OH a bit so they could hopefully catch him when everyone was away. He was a lot more settled at the yard at this point, having been there for over two years, and it wasn't a problem.

I have been at yards in the past, with my old horse, where the YO has been very rough-and-ready and don't-take-crap in their handling of horses. I am aware that with my Highland, moving to those yards isn't an option (not that I'd want to!) because they only offer full livery, and my horse would run a mile from the YO.

 

[Glitter's fun]

100 % agree. I hate groups like this. Sounds odd that they all happened to witness it. Is it usual for liveries to line up and spectate someone trying to catch a pony? Surely that just puts extra pressure on what frankly sounds like an already fragile ego!

I'm wondering what goes on when OP isn't there.

My shared cob used to be on a yard where he was "the naughty one". His stable was on the end where the bored people congregate. I caught a bunch of teenagers deliberately winding him up, daring each other to run in & touch his belly & dodge away while he snapped at them. He has never so much as pulled a face at anyone who treats him with basic respect.