preferring mares?

[Leo Walker]

I’m not so convinced spookiness is gender related, maybe I’ve just got lucky with all my boys!

I find the same! The reason I prefer geldings is that they are so consistent and dont spook or over react, and mine would walk through fire for me if I asked him to.

 

[JFTDWS]

My two geldings do plenty of thinking for themselves. My mare, on the other hand... I love them all, but mostly because the mare isn't mareish at all!

 

[atropa]

I was always a gelding person... Until I bought my mare and now I'd always look for a mare over a gelding. I have 2 now, one is bossy, opinionated, sensitive, brave and bold, the other is sensitive, insecure, sweet and tries hard to please. They just have so much more personality than any gelding I've ever met.

 

[MotherOfChickens]

Must say I've not had any thick geldings and they've each had a lot of personality but don't then I go for thick breeds I tend to go for geldings-would rather keep to a same sex herd/management situation.

 

[DirectorFury]

Another one here who prefers a mare. The two geldings I had were like big, daft puppies that needed constant micro-managing. Literally couldn't think for themselves at all.

I always compare them to silly little boys! They can think for themselves when it's a way to get into mischief or cause trouble but won't do it to actually be helpful .

 

[NinjaPony]

I don't have a preference.. My welsh gelding is spooky, sharp and everything happens on his own terms, my last mare was the sweetest and most willing horse you could meet, my connie gelding is a star but took longer to come out of his shell. It just varies horse to horse, like people! Having said that, the next one will be a gelding as it will have to live with the other two boys, and my welsh was cut late and can't be trusted in a field of mares!

 

[Junebug44]

When I bought my horse, i told the dealer I'd prefer a mare. She had two suitable foe me - one gelding, one mare. She said, "But HE'S the mare." I bought the gelding and she was right!!! xx

 

[Wagtail]

I have to admit that on balance, I tend to be drawn to mares. However, I take each horse as an individual. I have known some very bland and dull mares, and some very gelding-like mares. Geldings though IME have always caused me the most trouble in the fields and when handling. They can be such pains! I seem to have had more than my share of very riggy geldings to care for. I still love them all though, so long as they are sweet natured with humans.

 

[NZJenny]

I love mares too - my one gelding has been well and truly out numbered!

I don't understand when people advertise a mare and then say something like "not marish at all", like that's a good thing. I love that my mares are opinionated and every horse will have its good and bad days.

 

[Antw23uk]

I'm newly converted to mares having sworn against them after a horrendous mare experience and subsequently knowing mares who were either ears back swishy tail at me or completely indifferent to me being there even if I had food! (Boys are so easy to bribe into friendship with food)

I took on a friends mare as LWVTB to keep my gelding company and use as a light hack. It took a few months and was a culture shock to begin with because I've always handled my horses with a 'do as I say now' so almost a bully type of handling. That had to stop immediately once the mare arrived because she would not accept that kind of talk or behaviour, lol!

Was a massive learning curve (for both of us) but she has taught me the art of being nice, asking rather than telling and being a kind handler who discusses rather than bosses. I've had her a year and we had our 'light bulb' moment a few months in and WOW .. I thought my gelding was my horse of a lifetime and he is very dear to me but my mare .. not half as talented or nice looking but she outshines him like no other horse I have ever known. It's cliche but she really would go to the end of the earth for me and I would do the same for her.

I find geldings easy, they are pretty simple creatures and food is generally the password reset but having a mare brings a whole new level to that connection we strive to have with our horses. Im smitten and it breaks my heart to ever think about it but if one had to go I'm afraid it would be the gelding! (hopefully will never come to that)

Key to a good relationship .. LOVE them. No matter how horrible and rude they are being if you shower them with love you will have an easier life.

 

[Cortez]

I'm newly converted to mares having sworn against them after a horrendous mare experience and subsequently knowing mares who were either ears back swishy tail at me or completely indifferent to me being there even if I had food! (Boys are so easy to bribe into friendship with food)

I took on a friends mare as LWVTB to keep my gelding company and use as a light hack. It took a few months and was a culture shock to begin with because I've always handled my horses with a 'do as I say now' so almost a bully type of handling. That had to stop immediately once the mare arrived because she would not accept that kind of talk or behaviour, lol!

Was a massive learning curve (for both of us) but she has taught me the art of being nice, asking rather than telling and being a kind handler who discusses rather than bosses. I've had her a year and we had our 'light bulb' moment a few months in and WOW .. I thought my gelding was my horse of a lifetime and he is very dear to me but my mare .. not half as talented or nice looking but she outshines him like no other horse I have ever known. It's cliche but she really would go to the end of the earth for me and I would do the same for her.

I find geldings easy, they are pretty simple creatures and food is generally the password reset but having a mare brings a whole new level to that connection we strive to have with our horses. Im smitten and it breaks my heart to ever think about it but if one had to go I'm afraid it would be the gelding! (hopefully will never come to that)

Key to a good relationship .. LOVE them. No matter how horrible and rude they are being if you shower them with love you will have an easier life.

What a wonderful thing to say, your mare is a lucky horse.

 

[milliepops]

What a wonderful thing to say, your mare is a lucky horse.

yep and a good post too, I always wonder how the "can't stand mares" people are approaching their relationship with the female horse... Being "the boss" is not the most appropriate way to handle any horse IMO but can def land you in hot water with a mare and I also agree that they seem to pick up on genuine respect and affection from their handler and respond to it.. even the aloof types

 

[Ladyinred]

Another one here who prefers a mare. The two geldings I had were like big, daft puppies that needed constant micro-managing. Literally couldn't think for themselves at all.

Mares are just much more forward thinking. You need to work harder to get them onside but once you do they are fiercely loyal and will do anything for you.

This totally. Mares all the way for me now.

 

[PapaverFollis]

I spent my entire pre-horse owning life wanting a chestnut gelding. I ended up buying, when eventually I could buy a horse, a grey mare more or less by accident. Best accident ever and I would not change that decision. After a brief foray into gelding ownership I ended up with another (grey again!) mare as husband fell in love with her. And although I really should be a gelding person I love the fact that mares challenge me but give their full selves when you get it right. My old mare would go to the absolute ends of the earth with me and Im pretty sure we'll get there with the young mare too.

I wouldn't write off a gelding entirely but would always pick a mare these days given the choice. Would still prefer chestnut to grey though. :lol:

 

[Antw23uk]

Thanks Cortez

yep and a good post too, I always wonder how the "can't stand mares" people are approaching their relationship with the female horse... Being "the boss" is not the most appropriate way to handle any horse IMO but can def land you in hot water with a mare and I also agree that they seem to pick up on genuine respect and affection from their handler and respond to it.. even the aloof types

Funnily enough I was out with a friend for dinner the other night and we were talking (bitching) about people and horses on the livery yard she is on and we got talking about a hunting mare they have and who she rides occasionally and what a grotbag she is and I was explaining about the loving them and showing them nothing but love and asking rather than telling ect and the look on her face was priceless ... I think I have convinced her to change her attitude and how she 'talks' to this mare to see if my point can be proven. You cannot fight fire with fire when it comes to mares, you will not win! She was looking at me rather oddly when I was talking about the bond you get from a mare whose onside and how much you have to love them regardless of the foul faces they are pulling at the time, lol

 

[AFB]

Another vote for geldings over here, I rarely gel with a mare so geldings are the safe option.

Interestingly I work the other way with dogs and get on much better with bitches.

 

[Adonissaan]

Geldings - every gelding I have had is always better than the mares - but I've always had very 'mareish' mares so maybe it's just been chance.

Currently riding a mare and a gelding and his attitude is nicer but she's lovely too! If I was looking to buy I definitely wouldn't count mares completely out I think that's silly

 

[LeannePip]

I'm a mare person I just think you get SOO much more out of them when you're 'their person' and nothing beats it.

I cant remember who commented, but as an example 'my gelding would walk through fire if i asked him to' made me chuckle as i know for certain if i asked my mare the same question she would first question my sanity, make it point blank clear that it's not a good idea to do that and probably deposit me on the floor for asking her such a stupid question Its that self preservation, an ability to think for herself and self assured confidence that makes her so special! As long as she can reason with everything I am asking, she will throw her whole heart into it.

Love Antw23uk's comments, I try and be the same with my girl, she does nothing that would deserve rough handling or 'bullying', she's an individual with an opinion, just like me!
Sure we have discussions about what it is i'm asking and sometimes she'll escalate her response if she's making her point clear but i always ask her in the same tone over and over until she settles, once she's come round to the idea she'll offer it up no questions asked. I reward her a lot, always school with polos in my pocket, and always aim to make her feel like she's the best thing in the world, the confidence that she has gained from this is measurable and my blood pressure is a lot more stable too!

 

[DappleDown]

... 'my gelding would walk through fire if i asked him to' ...i know for certain if i asked my mare the same question she would first question my sanity...

So many good points on this thread about mares and geldings, but this one says it all.

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

I have always been all for geldings and never really got on with mares but I'm warming to them. My last horse was a mare and very easy but dear God she bored the living hell out of me. She was sweet but no real personality or get up and go about her. I felt safe riding her but lost all interest in riding in the end and sold her.
Currently borderless but have a mare sort of on loan now and she's lovely. Safe but slightly sharper than mine was with a bit more brains about her. Lovely personality too and easy to do. As a side note she has changed my mind about Tbs and TB x as she is TB x Cob.
When I come to buying another horse I will probably still be more drawn to geldings but definitely would not discount a nice mare

 

[Ceriann]

I’ve only ever had mares, in part because my first horse (perfect first horse for me) was a mare and didn’t get on with geldings (so she dictated companions)! They have all been different - one is a real cow-bag - during her ridden life she caused me no end of damage and was thoroughly unpleasant but as a non-ridden companion she is now very easy to handle. She doesn’t suffer fools though and will terrorise my OH if he allows it! My current riding mare is a gem - totally different to cow-bag (I trust her completely and more than any horse I’ve ever owned) but still spirited, independent and giving. I’m still getting to know her but she’s just a lovely little person to spend time with and I’m hoping we get to spend a very long time doing that.

 

[Antw23uk]

I cant remember who commented, but as an example 'my gelding would walk through fire if i asked him to' made me chuckle as i know for certain if i asked my mare the same question she would first question my sanity, make it point blank clear that it's not a good idea to do that and probably deposit me on the floor for asking her such a stupid question

I think you have summed up a mare absolutely 100% perfectly, lol

 

[Leo Walker]

I'm a mare person I just think you get SOO much more out of them when you're 'their person' and nothing beats it.

I cant remember who commented, but as an example 'my gelding would walk through fire if i asked him to' made me chuckle as i know for certain if i asked my mare the same question she would first question my sanity, make it point blank clear that it's not a good idea to do that and probably deposit me on the floor for asking her such a stupid question Its that self preservation, an ability to think for herself and self assured confidence that makes her so special! As long as she can reason with everything I am asking, she will throw her whole heart into it.

It was me And your post sums up why I'm a gelding person :lol: I don't want to be questioned. I want my horse to trust me and trust that what I am asking is reasonable, because it always is. That's not behaviour you can have in a driving horse. Saying that the best pony I ever had as a child was a mare. But mine definitely has self preservation, an ability to think for himself and self assured confidence, and sounds an awful lot like some of the mares on here, so who knows!

 

[SadKen]

I do not like mares. They are bitchy and mean. They want to do everything their way, and even if your way is better, you have to discuss it with them and make sure their feelings aren't hurt, and show you're not secretly trying to undermine them in some way. Mares are complicated and difficult and judgemental and have too many inexplicable feelings, like a lot of women I know.

I do not like mares.

I now have a mare.

She is magnificent. She is the best horse I have ever met. She is beautiful and funny and sweet and caring; she can be either the firmest, fairest taskmistress or the most willing partner. She isn't frightened of ANYTHING. She mothered me through my lack of confidence then started testing me when I'd got better. She'll tell me when she's unhappy (usually lack of food). She's not cuddly, but she will call when she sees me. She'll ask me if I can do better - I always find I can. I adore her.

However she is the least marish mare I have ever met. I still haven't met any other mares that I like. So I guess I don't prefer mares. I just prefer MY mare.

 

[Antw23uk]

I do not like mares. They are bitchy and mean. They want to do everything their way, and even if your way is better, you have to discuss it with them and make sure their feelings aren't hurt, and show you're not secretly trying to undermine them in some way. Mares are complicated and difficult and judgemental and have too many inexplicable feelings, like a lot of women I know.

I do not like mares.

I now have a mare.

She is magnificent. She is the best horse I have ever met. She is beautiful and funny and sweet and caring; she can be either the firmest, fairest taskmistress or the most willing partner. She isn't frightened of ANYTHING. She mothered me through my lack of confidence then started testing me when I'd got better. She'll tell me when she's unhappy (usually lack of food). She's not cuddly, but she will call when she sees me. She'll ask me if I can do better - I always find I can. I adore her.

However she is the least marish mare I have ever met. I still haven't met any other mares that I like. So I guess I don't prefer mares. I just prefer MY mare.

Brilliant, lol

Yeah mines a real tomboy. I like MY mare but just ignore and avoid other mares which I think they actually like me for, lol!

 

[JFTDWS]

I'm detecting a note of mare-snobbery here - upthread, it's basically, if you prefer geldings, it's because you're approaching the relationship wrong, and geldings don't think and have any real personality. Perhaps the mare people are approaching the geldings wrong?!

I have both. I adore my mare - she's sweet, and kind, and loving, she can be stubborn as hell, but she doesn't set out to ditch you, or hurt you, and she can be very tolerant. My geldings show similar qualities to varying degrees, and are as individual and complex in their personalities as all the mare's I've ridden. My geldings are also smarter than my mare - and not just at getting into trouble. That said, all mine are (and have been) intelligent, fun-loving types - I don't go for slow witted, lacking self-preservation types.

 

[DappleDown]

I do not like mares. They are bitchy and mean. They want to do everything their way, and even if your way is better, you have to discuss it with them and make sure their feelings aren't hurt, and show you're not secretly trying to undermine them in some way. Mares are complicated and difficult and judgemental and have too many inexplicable feelings, like a lot of women I know.

I do not like mares.

I now have a mare.

She is magnificent. She is the best horse I have ever met. She is beautiful and funny and sweet and caring; she can be either the firmest, fairest taskmistress or the most willing partner. She isn't frightened of ANYTHING. She mothered me through my lack of confidence then started testing me when I'd got better. She'll tell me when she's unhappy (usually lack of food). She's not cuddly, but she will call when she sees me. She'll ask me if I can do better - I always find I can. I adore her.

However she is the least marish mare I have ever met. I still haven't met any other mares that I like. So I guess I don't prefer mares. I just prefer MY mare.

 

[LeannePip]

Oh absolutely LW! It just made me giggle that the example chosen was to walk through fire, which we all know is a very bad idea - my 'point' was that geldings (ha! stereotype!) blindly follow instruction without a second thought even to their detriment, whereas in my experience a mare will tell you to get stuffed at such a unreasonable request!

Mares are a funny thing, I don't know if training geldings is easier but; less than two months ago, we had MAJOR hysterics at introducing side ways 'stuff'. I mean all toys out the pram and having a paddy on the floor at the thought of doing something so abhorrent; launching/ running/ spinning everything, every time I even thought about asking her for LY/ SI for the first couple of weeks. . . slowly slowly she came round to the idea, and yesterday did her first Elementary - it wasn't flawless by any means but she tried so hard and got 2x 7's for her LY's - I think that is the reason i'm a mare person, when you finally get them onside there is nothing like it <3

 

[scats]

To add to the debate- my two best mares- were bold as brass and totally fearless in every situation, both had tushes.

 

[ApolloStorm]

My mare is the first I have owned, she's generally easy to deal with, but is a royal cow in the field! And when she is having a strop, she can be persuaded to do as asked, but not by being smacked or being patient! you have to outwit her, ask her to do something else which gets what you wanted to accomplish (ie pass scary object, go other way down street) by engaging brain! My gelding is easy, like a big dog, but he is "mareish" in that he doesn't like strange people trying to stroke him etc, and it seemed that I was the only one who was brave (stupid) enough to get on him when I was a confident teen and a ride him- he tries his little heart out for me, but wouldn't do anything for his old owner, as her approach was the crop and mine was letting him stop and think for a bit, 10 mins stood infront of a pole he didn't want to walk over and he'd realise and just do it. A gelding I had on loan for a while- though again a big dog, could also be very opinionated, but could be " bullied" into doing things, and was by a few people who had had him, but when he objected to something you knew about it! He had a mean buck on him and had sent several riders flying. Though I suspect that was the TB nature!
My point I think its not just mares who have strong opinions, I like a horse with a bit of fizz, but for some unknown reason I am not really a mare person, I wouldn't go looking for another, but wouldn't turn one down if it clicked.