Problems with Sharer

Spring Feather said:
I have to say, this was exactly my first thoughts when I read the OP. Actually it's quite unbelievable to me that this person could possibly be the reason for this horse twisting it's pelvis given the amount of riding and the type of riding she's been doing :confused:
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Opinion of 2 licensed physicians, not mine. Mare is very sensitive especially to your seat. I don't meant to explain myself to anyone regarding that as that's not what I'm asking advice for, but thanks for your unnecessary comment.
 
Perfect_Pirouette said:
Your horse may have suffered a slight lack in confidence due to sharer's lack of confidence. However, if she was only hacking her out very shortly a few times a week for a number of weeks I really, honestly doubt it has caused a twisted pelvis.

Not sure what the big deal is with her still being on the yard? Just smile politely and say hello and leave it at that. In another few weeks it'll be a distant memory for you both.

ETA- Sorry, missed the bit where you say she is making digs. My advice would still be the same, just smile and say hello and go on about your daily business. She will soon get bored if she is being bitchy.
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Natch said:
Ah okay thanks for clarifying, it wasn't clear before that she was making digs, which I think is your main problem now?

I would deal with it the same way I would deal with any other livery sticking their oar in, and say a polite "thanks, I've got all the advice and help I need" and a "I'm sorry I find it really offputting when people watch me ride, would you mind just leaving me to it? "

I think it is unreasonable to mind her just being on your yard, but not unreasonable to expect her to mind her own business :)
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Juni141 said:
I do feel for OP as your time at the yard with your horse is meant to be your relaxing, enjoyable time...

And I do think the catty comments on here are unnecessary, especially when people blatantly haven't read the whole thread!!

Ignore her, she will soon pale into insignificance... And flip it on its head and think of it that your horse obviously was out in its pelvis etc and for whatever reason (be it her riding or something completely different) you've now had it treated and she is feeling better and getting back to how she was!

:)
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Thank you, this was the advice I was after instead of being told who I can or can't blame which for her 'injury'. If I'm honest I never told the sharer what the physicians had said as I couldn't do that to someone. As at first I was as shocked as some may seem on here but looking further into it, it could be the case.

Thank you, will just be polite but stay away.
 
Vet came out and thought it was an issue in her back so recommended the physio as he could see her right side of her hip was 4” lower than the left side. But that the last I'm saying on the injury as that's not what I'm asking and its already sorted and correctly treated.
 
4"?? Wow. Poor horse must have been in tremendous pain.

I would just add something about the 'digs'. Could this lady simply be making valid observations?
 
I thought that at first and maybe I was being petty and thinking more of it but my OH heard and has no idea about horses and asked what the hell that was for. And its just too frequent now so I'm not sure how else to take it!
 
I thought that she might just be making conversation tbh, albeit not really thinking that you might take it badly.

Horse much more likely to have injured its back in the field than going for the odd hack with someone IMO.
 
I really feel for you in this situation - it sounds like you are just too polite!
I think someone else could well have let rip at the sharer and would not then be in the situation of having to put up with snide remarks in your own yard.
It is so easy for a horse to go wrong, especially when it isn't comfortable and badly ridden. I put my own horse's neck out trying to avoid falling off and had the osteo sort him.
Being non confrontational myself, I would do my best to ignore her:)
 
ester said:
Horse much more likely to have injured its back in the field than going for the odd hack with someone IMO.
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My thoughts were that the horse could very well have stepped in a rabbit hole/slipped in the field/fell/been kicked etc.

OP - sorry we're going off on a tangent, it's just that it's so interesting/unusual to hear of such a big injury (4"!) from someone's riding, in such a short space of time. I'm so glad that your horse is going to be okay, it must have been very worrying for you.
 
I feel sorry for you, but maybe because you're already annoyed with her (fair enough if you think she injured your horse) you're interpreting her comments as digs when they're not meant to be. She might actually be trying really hard to make conversation/agree with you to make things less awkward.

I think now she's got a new share there's not much you can do. Just enjoy your horse and let her enjoy her share horse. Your friend must think she's a suitable rider for that horse so it's not really your problem anymore.

Just try and be polite if you see her but maybe keep your distance. Your yard sounds great, not worth leaving over :) it'll all blow over soon.
 
Natch said:
My thoughts were that the horse could very well have stepped in a rabbit hole/slipped in the field/fell/been kicked etc.

OP - sorry we're going off on a tangent, it's just that it's so interesting/unusual to hear of such a big injury (4"!) from someone's riding, in such a short space of time. I'm so glad that your horse is going to be okay, it must have been very worrying for you.
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Yes I was just as surprised when the vet pointed it out and said she needed lots of physio and original rider back as that was the only change that had happened and he said he had seen it before.
She's very genuine and is not sorry lame so her behaviour to change and to get worse over that particular time period pointed to one thing.
 
If she rode your horse fine when you saw her is it possible that something happened whilst she was riding alone resulting in riders lack of confidence and horses pelvis issues?
The comments you have put on this thread that she has said sound like she is trying to keep things friendly between you, maybe she thinks she by talking to you about your horse she is showing that she has no hard feelings over being ditched as sharer especially as you haven't told her you think she knackered your horse?
 
Spiritedly said:
If she rode your horse fine when you saw her is it possible that something happened whilst she was riding alone resulting in riders lack of confidence and horses pelvis issues?
The comments you have put on this thread that she has said sound like she is trying to keep things friendly between you, maybe she thinks she by talking to you about your horse she is showing that she has no hard feelings over being ditched as sharer especially as you haven't told her you think she knackered your horse?
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That's a very good point actually, I didn't see it from that angle. Which is exactly why I wanted to post this to see if it was just me. Will see how she is the next few days. Thank you.
 
im not actually sure that this isn't just a total misunderstanding between the Op and ex sharer and even if it isnt, sounds a very easy problem to overcome.

Vague, non committal answers and making it clear you're concentrating on what you're doing puts people off making unwanted conversation pretty quickly you'll find.
She's not going to hang around talking to you very long if you leave her talking to herself.

simples
 
Your poor horse must have been in quite a lot of pain with having its pelvis 4" out. Thats been a massive whack suddenly to have come out like that! Its amazing she was still letting you ride her.

Glad you have got it sorted and dont get too wound up about the sharer being there.
 
Unfortunately when your horse lives on a livery yard, you just have to put up with the other people there, no matter what basis they are there on.
In this case, my advice would be to be polite when you are on the yard but just ask the sharer not to talk to you when you are schooling as you prefer to concentrate on the horse's work.
 
Natch said:
My thoughts were that the horse could very well have stepped in a rabbit hole/slipped in the field/fell/been kicked etc.

OP - sorry we're going off on a tangent, it's just that it's so interesting/unusual to hear of such a big injury (4"!) from someone's riding, in such a short space of time. I'm so glad that your horse is going to be okay, it must have been very worrying for you.
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I'm with you, Natch - in fact I'd not be listening to a physio that suggested an injury like that was likely from someone riding with a 'harder' seat, as the much more likely conclusion is that the horse has hurt themselves in the field or stable. To be that far out it must have been a fairly significant incident.

In all my years of riding and competing, I've never even heard of such an injury bring induced by a rider.

As for the sharer, just ignore her. If she continues being b!tchy, then I guess have a quiet word to the YO, as you are a long term paying customer, not her.
 
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Just get on with it and ride. You're making an issue when there isn't one to be had. Unfortunately, on big yards in particular facilities tend to have to be shared and it is most likely a complete co-incidence that your timetables clash. You could always test it by booking the arena at a different time on some evenings.
 
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