pts or not-feeling guilty

it amazes me how many people will be vociferous in their condemnation of people who pass on problem horses, yet will be equally strident in condemning those who choose to quietly end the life of an animal that is unhappy, mistrustful and dangerous for children to be around.

OP cannot keep this pony, as it is a risk to her children. It is not in the animals best interests to pass it on, or in the best interests of her children to keep it. Contrary to what many seem to believe - when you put a horse to sleep, it doesn't end up in limbo somewhere, thinking that it has been terribly unfairly treated. It just ceases to be...not such a bad
thing to happen
^^ this! I would have pony pts and would not feel guilty!
your kids come first. It would be far worse to pass this pony on and risk her injuring another kid or ending up being abused or breeding more problem ponys!
 
it amazes me how many people will be vociferous in their condemnation of people who pass on problem horses, yet will be equally strident in condemning those who choose to quietly end the life of an animal that is unhappy, mistrustful and dangerous for children to be around.

OP cannot keep this pony, as it is a risk to her children. It is not in the animals best interests to pass it on, or in the best interests of her children to keep it. Contrary to what many seem to believe - when you put a horse to sleep, it doesn't end up in limbo somewhere, thinking that it has been terribly unfairly treated. It just ceases to be...not such a bad thing to happen

This. Poor OP is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. She doesn't want to keep the pony because it is dangerous around her (very young) children, she doesn't want to pass the pony on in case it hurts someone else (as someone else said, it's not the next home that's the worry - it's the one after that, or after that, or after that), local charities are full . . . so what should she do? Find some mythical place where all damaged, hurt, afraid and otherwise disenfranchised ponies can live in paddocks, kissed by fairies, not getting laminitis, having their feet/teeth/jabs seen to by the pixies?

Back in the real world, the OP needs to do the right thing by this little mare AND for her young children. Having this troubled little soul PTS doesn't seem like such a terrible option to me . . . and it would ensure her future.

P
 
If the vet agrees why did this thread evan start?!?!?!

Because the OP clearly has a heart and is finding the decision very difficult. It is not an easy choice to make when you have an animal who physically does not seem to have anything wrong but is not safe to keep or responsible to pass on.
 
Because the OP being a very nice person felt guilty and wanted reassurance I should think.An awful lot of people would just send it straight to the sales to see what they could get for it.Probably from the meat man.An awful lot more stress for the pony
 
The fact that yours aren't going anywhere is admirable . . . but the OP has no guarantee that anyone she passes this little pony on to will be like you - and therein lies the problem.

Do you have space for the mare?

P

Just because I am not agreeing with not PTS doesn't mean I should be attacked for it. The OP is asking for opinions - and there will always be massive variations in what people would do!

I have ponies that aren't suitable for kids and a baby due in less than 3 months so no I couldn't take her unfortunately. But 2 years ago I did just that with my two when someone was desperate.

I am just giving my opinion, like you are.

I haven't ever slated the OP, not at all. I personally just wouldn't PTS. That doesn't make me or the OP wrong :)
 
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Because when faced with a horrible decision and getting conflicting opinions, it is common to seek further advice and maybe hope for some support.

This.

I hope at least some of what has been written to and about the OP on this thread has been helpful in making this difficult decision.

P
 
Just because I am not agreeing with not PTS doesn't mean I should be attacked for it. I have ponies that aren't suitable for kids and a baby due in less than 3 months.

I am just giving my opinion, like you are.

I am not attacking you . . . but if you feel strongly enough that she shouldn't have the mare PTS, perhaps you could offer her a home - it would be helping the OP out of a very difficult situation and securing the mare's future. Sadly, not everyone can and does offer horses a home for life - and it will be next to impossible for the OP to know who can and who can't. You have stated that yours are never moved on - hence my question.

P
 
The OP oesn't sound terrbily experienced to me and whilst it is clearly the seller who is largely at fault if the pony is 'vicious' surely this would have been apparent at the viewing? If the pony has been a broodmare and was previously good natured according to an earlier owner then something has gone wrong in a short space of time.

I have 3 children, all of whom ride. My eldest daughter had a LR section B (many years ago) that, as a 4 year old, seemed of uncertain temperament. She never harmed my daughter as she didn't get the chance. I would never have left her unsupervised with this young pony as I didn't trust it at the time (pony would lunge at my face if I bent down near her). The pony in question was later very succesful in the show ring and became a lovley genuine child's pony. We had lots of fun and success with her and she later took another 2 little girls to the RIHS as a LR M&M before retiring to become a broodmare.

I don't know what had happened to her as a youngster to make her the way she was when I got her but she got over it in a matter of months.

OP it is entirely your choice whether to PTS but I am glad I gave our iffy tempered pony a chance as she repaid us tenfold and gave three little girls so much pleasure.
 
And isn't that what the whole thread is about?

No. The OP was asking for opinions?! As I have said before, just because the pony is a Shetland, it doesn't automatically make it suitable as a kids pony.

The OP was obviously seriously lied to but that shouldn't mean that the pony should be PTS because it is not suitable for kids and obviously needs a lot of rehab.
 
I am not attacking you . . . but if you feel strongly enough that she shouldn't have the mare PTS, perhaps you could offer her a home - it would be helping the OP out of a very difficult situation and securing the mare's future. Sadly, not everyone can and does offer horses a home for life - and it will be next to impossible for the OP to know who can and who can't. You have stated that yours are never moved on - hence my question.

P


Its my opinion FGS! You are allowed yours and I am not having a go at you??!!


As I have said I already have two that are not suitable which I took on and am nearly 7 months pregnant. All I am saying is there may be other avenues to go down or other people, like myself, who would take such a pony on.
 
Its my opinion FGS! You are allowed yours and I am not having a go at you??!!


As I have said I already have two that are not suitable and am 7 months pregnant. All I am saying is there may be other avenues to go down or other people, like myself, who would take such a pony on.

Baffled . . . I have tried really, really hard to be polite and reasonable (and rational) . . .

. . . walks away shaking head . . .

P
 
Baffled . . . I have tried really, really hard to be polite and reasonable (and rational) . . .

. . . walks away shaking head . . .

P

Join the club

just because we don't agree doesn't make me wrong or right or you wrong or right. This is why its called an opinion.

How have I not been reasonable? I feel for the OP.
 
For what its worth I don't think this pony deserves to be put to sleep. It is not her fault she has had a bad time of it (by the sounds of it in her last home) and this has given her trust issues. Can you not advertise her truthfully, I'm sure there is someone out there who would have her as a companion and would have the time she needs to help her trust again, possibly someone who doesn't have children around. Good luck
 
For what its worth I don't think this pony deserves to be put to sleep. It is not her fault she has had a bad time of it (by the sounds of it in her last home) and this has given her trust issues. Can you not advertise her truthfully, I'm sure there is someone out there who would have her as a companion and would have the time she needs to help her trust again, possibly someone who doesn't have children around. Good luck

Great idea :)
 
If this pony had physical issues I'm certain that there would be no doubt about pts in fact most sensible people would say it is the best and kindest thing for them. This pony sounds emotionally and mentally damaged, which is no different to me than a physical ailment, it causes distress and suffering just the same and pts could alleviate that if the owner is unable to resolve the issues.

I personally wouldn't pass an unhappy potentially dangerous animal on, no matter what their size, for the animals sake, never mind any future owners.
 
The pony kicked the OP's 2 year old child in the head. Her head. Luckily the child was wearing a hat. If it had been mine, it would have been away ASAP. Children are not risk aware at that age. That made my blood run cold.
 
For what its worth I don't think this pony deserves to be put to sleep. It is not her fault she has had a bad time of it (by the sounds of it in her last home) and this has given her trust issues. Can you not advertise her truthfully, I'm sure there is someone out there who would have her as a companion and would have the time she needs to help her trust again, possibly someone who doesn't have children around. Good luck

As someone wiser than I has said earlier on this thread, it's not the next home that's the worry - it's the one after that. There may well be someone out there who would have the mare as a companion (someone without children), but how does the OP know that the pony will stay in that home until the end of her days? The answer is, she doesn't . . . and there is no mechanism, legal or otherwise, that will guarantee that. That's why people are supportive of the OP's proposal to have the little mare PTS.

P
 
For what its worth I don't think this pony deserves to be put to sleep. It is not her fault she has had a bad time of it (by the sounds of it in her last home) and this has given her trust issues. Can you not advertise her truthfully, I'm sure there is someone out there who would have her as a companion and would have the time she needs to help her trust again, possibly someone who doesn't have children around. Good luck

Great idea :)

Yes, there probably would be a few genuine people, but there would also be a lot of people that would get the pony, try, fail and pass on again and there starts the issue.

PTS is giving the pony a future guaranteed to be free of pain, stress and poor treatment. Rehoming privately means there are no guarantees. The most well meaning person in the world could take the pony, then be made redundant. What if they need rid quickly, advertise and the pony gets into the wrong hands.

Please don't be so blind as to think there is just an outside chance of this. It happens to so many horses, every day and I am sick to death of it. A long list of irresponsible people create an animal that has no enjoyment in life. There is a choice to end that life or take a risk and at the moment, the risk of further harm/unhappiness far outweighs the chance of a brilliant forever home.

Life is cruel and I would rather see a horse PTS in a quiet field than end up in the places that the charities have to pull them from. We are in a crisis and have been for a some years now where charities cannot take in new cases...there is nowhere safe for the majority of these horses to go, so I think it is far more responsible to end the life than just pass the problem on and just "hope" the pony ends up somewhere good.

Passing problem horses on, 99% of the time is ADDING to the welfare crisis, not helping it.
 
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For what its worth I don't think this pony deserves to be put to sleep. It is not her fault she has had a bad time of it (by the sounds of it in her last home) and this has given her trust issues. Can you not advertise her truthfully, I'm sure there is someone out there who would have her as a companion and would have the time she needs to help her trust again, possibly someone who doesn't have children around. Good luck


Whilst I would agree that the mare doesn't *deserve* to be PTS, I don't think its that simple. Would you reply to an "honest" advert for this pony?

...For sale: shetland mare, rescued (bought) in a poor state, previous broodmare, kicks humans and horses, not suitable for children hence sale for a nominal sum, currently has an infected wound down to the bone which requires further treatment, bad to catch, up to date with farrier and dentist, passported, microchipped and has started course of vaccinations....

Seriously, who is going to want this pony?
 
I think if you were to PTS you would have no need to feel guilty. If you didn't have your children to think about then I would encourage you to try and resolve the pony's issues but your children HAVE to come first before a pony that you may not even be able to help. Poor pony has obviously had a very hard time of it, but if you were to rehome then it's likely she would continue to have a hard and miserable life. People seem to think that PTS is the end of the world but a horse doesn't know what is coming, it doesn't understand the concept of death like we do and so for them it is simply that their suffering is over and their future is as safe and secure as it ever could be. It is far more responsible than continuing to pass on dangerous, injured or ill horses just because some people can't muster the courage to do the right thing.
 
As someone wiser than I has said earlier on this thread, it's not the next home that's the worry - it's the one after that. There may well be someone out there who would have the mare as a companion (someone without children), but how does the OP know that the pony will stay in that home until the end of her days? The answer is, she doesn't . . . and there is no mechanism, legal or otherwise, that will guarantee that. That's why people are supportive of the OP's proposal to have the little mare PTS.


This is the real issue, whatever the choice the OP makes now, if she does not PTS, has no guarantees, this pony has obviously had a tough time at some point possibly due to someone trying and failing to turn her into a childs pony, moving her on to another home may sound like the kindest option but who knows where she may be in the next year or two.
The next child that goes into the field with her may get kicked with a less fortunate outcome, how would the OP feel if she heard that a child had been seriously injured or worse?
 
Whilst I would agree that the mare doesn't *deserve* to be PTS, I don't think its that simple. Would you reply to an "honest" advert for this pony?

...For sale: shetland mare, rescued (bought) in a poor state, previous broodmare, kicks humans and horses, not suitable for children hence sale for a nominal sum, currently has an infected wound down to the bone which requires further treatment, bad to catch, up to date with farrier and dentist, passported, microchipped and has started course of vaccinations....

Seriously, who is going to want this pony?

The very people it needs protecting from. I really truly mean it. There are people that trawl through facebook groups looking for ads just like that. There have been some very eye opening threads on this very forum about one particularly persistent liar.

It makes my blood run cold to think about them to be honest :(
 
how long have you had her?


she may or may not be capable of being what you want with time but I do feel you have a duty to get her treated if treatable (and sounds like it is).

If she's been used as a broodmare, she might be useful as that again-maybe try the Shetland people (breed society, Facebook groups etc) to see if you can get this poor mare the sort of home she should have. I understand you don't want your kids around her and that you say she was mis sold but thats not her fault and I do think we have some sort of duty to try with the animals we buy. I take it she's not insured?


Really??? Op in my opinion breeding for the sale of breeding is just utterly wrong at the moment. I have to say, that if a charity couldn't take her, then I wouldn't have a problem with PTS. Sounds like she's had an awful time, she is an unhappy little pony,unless she can be happy sitting in a field doing nothing on a rescue centres field... PTS, don't find her a home where she's going to be used as a baby making machine in a world where there are too many babies and no one wants them anyway :(
 
In an ideal situation, the pony would be given every chance to rehabilitate, but as OP is not prepared to take that risk (not a dig, it's OP's reasoned assessment, supported by factual evidence of kicking, that the pony poses a threat to her children, and to some extent other horses, and only OP can make that decision) I think that PTS is a valid option.

OP is taking her responsibility to the pony seriously, even though she is clearly emotionally troubled by it - well done.
 
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The very people it needs protecting from. I really truly mean it. There are people that trawl through facebook groups looking for ads just like that. There have been some very eye opening threads on this very forum about one particularly persistent liar.

It makes my blood run cold to think about them to be honest :(

Exactly. I just wish more people could see it.
 
The very people it needs protecting from. I really truly mean it. There are people that trawl through facebook groups looking for ads just like that. There have been some very eye opening threads on this very forum about one particularly persistent liar.

It makes my blood run cold to think about them to be honest :(


Which may be the route it took to end up with the OP, she certainly doesn't want to be getting back on the same spiral again.
 
Which may be the route it took to end up with the OP, she certainly doesn't want to be getting back on the same spiral again.

Exactly. The OP putting this pony to sleep would be probably the kindest human act it will have known in recent years. Sad, but true.
 
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