PTS tomorrow - help?!

milesjess

milesjess

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Sadly my horse is due to be PTS tomorrow. But I'm really struggling to get my head around it.

He has arthritis in his hocks and we suspect his stifle now too. He's out 24/7 fully retired and the vet doesn't suspect he'll get through another winter after he really struggled last year.

He's 13 and we've tried various treatments to help him. He's been unsound/ retired for the best part of 13 months.

Basically he's on cosequin and danilon. But he has so many ups and downs.

Last month I had the vet back out as he could barely walk then he improved tons. Then he deteriorated and looked depressed and lifeless so I decided it was time. Now typically he looks well, happy and has his spark back. Obviously he won't ever get better but I feel 10x more guilty as he is obviously feeling better again...

Realistically I know it's a matter of time before his body adjusts to the danilon dosage again and he will have another bad period.

It's so hard that I'm struggling. In a way I want to let him go while he's comfy and happy, not wait for him to turn bad once again but it's making me think a little longer?! Which is totally selfish I know.

Maybe I'm just trying to hold onto hope :(

I know no one can decide for me and I really shouldn't even ask but I'm trying so hard not to pick up that damn phone and say lets wait another few weeks.

Sorry for the depressing thread. I knew this was a long time coming and I gave him a full summer out with his friends to enjoy and spoiled him... I just need to let him go on to a pain free place x
 
So sorry for you it's always tough & like you said only you know the pony & can take that decision. But if it helps I was warned that they always look the best they have for ages once you make the decision & found it true with both of mine who were in their 20s. Partly it's the weight of the decision lifting from your mind - you stop subconciously watching & analysing & partly it's a feeling of guilt at having made the decision. The person who warned me had twice cancelled the Vet (different horses) & both times regretted it & rebooked within days
 
Massive hugs

Its a awful thing to have done but you are doing the right thing, we had are old girl PTS last month she was 38 years old nothing wrong with her just showing signs of age we had had her over 20 years, I booked it and the days before i would say to myself she is fine, looking happy etc and the next day she would look down, on the day she went she was having a good day and she went with her ears forward and happy as the day we had her.

Please dont talk your self out of it as you dont want your moms boy in pain ( please dont think I am being horrible I have been through the same), I had to make the awful decision to have my boy PTS when he fractured his shoulder and spent 6 weeks at the vets and was told at week 4 he was oming home, it hurt like hell at the start then one day you will get a feeling you did the right thing!!!

If you want to talk feel free to PM me.

Massive hugs for you and your Mom ( hugs)
 
Huge hugs. I had my beloved horse PTS two weeks ago It was the hardest decision I have had to make. In the end I was keeping him going for my sake, not for his. When he went, I felt a huge sense of relief that he was no longer in pain. There is a saying, better a month too soon than a day too late. Be brave.
 
Huge hugs hunny.

As you know, I had Little Lad put to sleep just over a week ago. It still hurts an awful lot, but at least now it's me hurting and not him.

In amongst the hurt I have a feeling of peace because it was the right thing at the right time. I could very easily have backed out, Buted him, had the vet out again and again, kept him going, but to what end? We'd be right back where we were a week ago and that would be if we were lucky and he hadn't had a devastating kick when he was doing his oblivious to danger bit.

PM if you want sweetie.
 
I am so sorry to hear this. I think the fact he looks better is because he knows the end is near and you are doing the right thing for him. It must be horrible to see him looking more like his old self, but at the same time he will go to rainbow's bridge feeling good in himself and not down and in pain.

I think I would have made the same decision as you.

Thinking of you xxx
 
I think that once it is all over you will be able to take comfort in the fact that he went while he was relatively well; there is nothing worse than seeing a horse miserable and suffering and those images tend to haunt you a long time afterwards. You can save him from that misery and know that you are helping him.

Delying the inevitable is more stressful I always feel, and the guilt of leaving things a day too late is something you want to avoid. xxxx
 
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So sorry - such a hard decision.

IMO it is kinder for him but harder for you if you let him go now. If you wait then you will find it easier if he clearly looks bad but you may regret it as he may suffer.

It depends really on how bad he is when he gets bad, for the vet to say it is time then that is usually pretty telling as they tend to let you make the decision.

Once again, so sorry, whatever you decide I am sure you will do the right thing
 
Really sorry to hear this. But better his last day is one where he's happy and pain free than one where he's miserable and in lots of pain. Its never an easy decision to make though. (((hugs)))
 
A difficult decision I know, but from experience I would say if you are in doubt, just wait.
We have to make this decision many times here with a retirement herd, and believe me, the horse tends to let you know when it's had enough.
By that I don't mean at death's door more a question of their quality of life is poor and doesn't improve with drugs.
Look carefully at your horse, is he off away from the other horses on his own, head down a bit and looking sad? Is he only eating what he has to? Do you ever see him trot on his own in the field or play?
From your description of how he is drug free he sounds to be in a lot of pain which is so debilitating for them. Right now he isn't so why the rush?
If you feel he's happy then carry on, if however you can't bear the thought of him fading again, stick to your decision.
I hope you have chosen the injection method as that works very well with oldies, our vet gives a local to numb the neck, sedates then gives the drug that stops their heart. They fall quietly to the floor and within minutes that's it. You may get a little leg movement and a few deep sighs but really it's the same as when you have an anaesthetic, you know nothing about it.
I would follow your instincts, you won't get it wrong...
 
Thanks for the support and sharing your experiences.

In my heart I know it's the right thing it's just taking that final step and letting him go which is te hardest.

It's true that I can keep him drugged up and keep going but ultimately it is him who is in pain not me.

It's just bizarre, almost like he knows... I tell him as it helps me but it is like he does understand were he is going and he perked up literally the day after.

I'm dreading it. It's more the waiting which I am finding hard but I know that once the vet arrives it won't be as bad.

Going to plan a nice early morning for him to enjoy before letting him go free xxx
 
You sound like a lovely owner. It sounds right, his perking up is a good thing - it tells you it isn't something you've already left too late. Hope things go well and that you get the good last morning you both clearly deserve.
 
You're doing the right thing luv, what helped me make my decision was the thought of leaving it too late and turning up one morning and for her to be down and unable to get up. Imagine them looking at you in that situation, the pain and distress and you had the power to stop it before it got that far.

I love my mare so much that there is no way I was going to fail her like that. She had always tried her hardest for me so I swore to do the same for her. Yes she was bad and in pain, but she went with her dignity. They are such noble animals, they deserve that.

I know how your feeling cos I went through the same emotions, you do want to phone them and say no sorry it's all been a mistake, but you know deep down you can't, because you have to do what's right for the horse, not what's right for you.

I have a friend who I spoke to when I was going through it all, and she said one thing in life she regrets is waiting too long with her pony when she was younger, he ended up being PTS when he was down and unable to get up. Both her and her mum still feel guilty about it.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Xxx
 
Massive massive ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))) to you.

As you said no one can tell you weather it's time. You know your horse and you will know when the time is right. By the sounds of it he's had a fantastic summer and you've done all you can to keep himhappy and comfortable.
I know how hard the final desition is. It broke me heart to let Lucy go. We faught her illness for 8 months. Defied all the vets who told me to give up. We went to the beach and even did a 14 mile sponsoured ride. Those last 8 months we had the time of our lives. But while I was on holiday my vet phoned me in tears. She said Lucy had suddenly gone down hill over night. I was away for 2 weeks and had no way of getting home to say goodbye. The vet said she wasn't suffering yet and she could try to make her comfortable till I came home. But her back legs were going and she could have gone down and been unable to get up. I've always lived by the philosaphy "It's better a month early, than a day to late"
I know how hard it is to say goodbye and to let go of something you love so much but sadly it's the price we pay for having them in our lives.
I can tell from your post you will do whats best for your horse and i'm shore he knows that to. He knows how much you love him.
Make the most of the time you have left. Spoil him rotton. It will be hard, it will hurt. I lost Lucy in 2010 and it still hurts like hell but I know I did what was right for her, I put her first and if I had made her wait and let her suffer I don't think I could have ever forgiven myself.

This poem realy helped me through the tough time of letting Lucy go.

If the day should come when I'm in pain,
And you know I won't be well again,
Promise you'll do what must be done,
If this is the battle that can't be won.

It'll break your heart, but please be kind,
Don't let your grieving sway your mind.
For this is when you'll let me see
Just how much you do love me.

Together we've had happy years
The future now can hold no fears.
Please don't let me suffer
so When that days comes, please let me go.

For my usual vet please will you send?
But stay with me until the end.
Hold me steady, speak to me
Till my once bright eyes no longer see

In time I hope you'll come to see
It's the last kindness you'll do for me
One more time please stroke my mane
And know that I'll have no more pain.

And don't be sad that it was you
Who decided this was what to do.
We've been such buddies through the years
Don't let me be the cause of tears.

You'll always see me graze now,
with the sun upon my back
Painful limbs won't tire me now,
however long the hack.

I live now in your heart and mind,
a lovely place to stay.
And what you have in memories,
no one can take away.


I hope all goes ok whatever you deside is best for your boy. Take care of him but once he's gone remember to take care of yourself to. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to or even someone to just listen. xx
 
I am very sorry that you and your horse are facing this. In my experience when a vet recommends this, then it is the kindest thing. Being brave and making the kindest decision is out most important responsibility to our beloved pets. I once had someone say to me: Rather a moment too soon than a moment too late, and I always remember this at the end. You will be heartbroken, but in time you will remember the good times you had together and be glad you were brave at the end.

Paula
 
It is so hard, but it sounds like you are making the right decision. I had my old girl pts due to arthritis, ans she had a really good few days after I had made the appointment, I was so tempted to delay but in my heart I knew it was the right thing to let her go. I actually felt a relief when it was all over, once I had made the decision the waiting was the worst. Will be thinking of you tomorrow.
 
The waiting, knowing you have made the decision, is always the hardest bit. Take comfort from the fact that you are doing right by your boy. Sending you supportive vibes and much sympathy but have faith that you are doing your best for him.
 
You poor thing, my heart truly goes out to you at the horrid time. Its so hard as a caring owner to have to play God with our horses lives, but we care for them all their lives and the last best caring thing that we can do for them is to make sure that they do not suffer at the end. Having read Mrs M post to me it really says it all. My last horse was so ill it was not as hard for me so I can only try and think how very hard this is for you. In your heart I think you know you are doing the right thing, please try and stay strong. My thoughts are with you at this very very hard time x
 
so so sorry - it's a indescribably hard time. Especially if your horse is up and down, but remember better a day too soon than a day too late. It will be you hurting not your horse and they live on pain free in another dimension xx
 
I feel for you massive hugs x I went through the same thing weeks ago with my boy. I even asked the Vet on the day could i cancel it and he said no! Looking back it was the right decision you dont realise how bad they are till they are gone. I kept Cali going, he had everything possible to help him, best treatments i could afford and find but in the end nature took its course. The final thing that swayed me is the vet said that his leg was so weak it would just snap one day when he was out and i couldnot bear to see that happen and of course he was in pain. On the day he went he was spoilt rotten, everyone on the yard came to see him and gave him any treats he wanted (he was on a constant diet) his coat was gleaming in the sun he looked so beautiful! Yes it was a very hard thing to do but also a selfless thing because it means they can no longer suffer. I still miss him like crazy (am crying while typing!) but you are doing the right thing for your bot. Tomorrow will be so hard i hope you are ok and dont feel bad about grieving. x
 
It is always a hard decision. We've done it several times both for oldies and for younger horses in illness or emergency. I wouldn't presume to tell you how to go about it but tbh if you've got it booked, I'd carry on as planned. You know he's not going to get better even in the medium term and I actually think that if they can go on a 'good' day it makes it easier for all concerned, in particular the horse.
The last oldie we had pts was out in the field on a sunny October day, sister went to fetch her and she walked incredibly slowly across to the gate - this convinced us that we were doing the right thing - until she saw the visitor in the yard and then she really perked up with a spring in her step. She went with her head in a bucket of feed. Although she was capable of perking up we knew, like you, that she wouldn't go through another winter. The day after that the weather turned and we were very glad that we had stuck to our plan.
 
I'm so so sorry to hear this.
You're doing the right thing for him, the last and best thing you can do for him.
I recently had my 4year old PTS, it is the most heartbreaking decision to have to make, but I think in your heart you know it's the right decision.
Feel free to PM me if you need to talk.
 
I know how hard it is but holding onto him for a few weeks is not going to make it any easier for him or for you. In my opinion, better a day too soon than a day too late. Best wishes, hope it all goes smoothly and u feel better soon x
 
The waiting is the worst part. It is a decision you have not taken lightly but one that you have made because you know your horse better than anyone and you know when the time is right. I am sure if you were not certain you would not have made the appointment. That doesn't stop the guilt and the questions in the meantime. When my old boy went I had all the same doubts but once it was over, it was such a relief that I knew he would never get any worse. I'll be thinking of you both x
 
so sorry you are going through this with a horse that is so young. it sounds like you are thinking of him and doing what you and the vet feel is best so please dont feel bad about your decision.

i had a mare who was retired and was a great age(35) and i had almost decided to pts as she looked a bit like she had given up, i decided to get my vet to come and assess her and he checked her over and said she looks really well (so i heaved a sigh of relief) then said, you have asked my opinion and if she was mine i would PTS today. what a shock!!!!! i burst into tears and he then said he would explain why..... its a lovely day, the ground is almost perfect, winter will be starting properly soon (it was november)and as your horse has sidebone and arthritis i wont be able to give her enough pain killers to keep her comfortable once the ground gets muddy or hard, so how nice that she goes while she is happy.....she was pts that day and i have never regretted that decision, hope this helps and sorry for the long story....
 
It is always difficult when a PTS is arranged rather than an obvious, on the spot decision.

There is a saying...'Better a month too early than an hour too late'. It is blunt but the sentiment is, as many have said, better now when he is well and happy than to come and find him in pain one day.
 
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