RANT - friend with horses and money problems

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showjump2003

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Will try to not make it too long!

I have a friend who is 18/19 and has got herself in to a daft situation but won't take any advice!

A few years ago she came across a really good horse and bought him. 12 months ago a half brother to the horse she already had came up for sale and her parents took out a 4k loan so she could buy the horse on the understanding that she would make the repayments. Bear in mind she was about 18 at the time, not the academic type and did not have a well paid job .. i.e was just waitressing for a while then drifting to another low paid job. So my first rant is.. what parent in the right mind would take out the loan for her when she doesn't have the means of paying it back?!

For the last 6 - 8 months both these talented horses have been left in the field and done nothing. She told me today she would bring them back in to work now but she can't afford the farrier!! She lost her job, still owes her parents 4k - they are having to make the replayments. She also owes the bank money and has till friday to at least pay £180 out of the £800 she owes before she/her parents are blacklisted!!!

So I suggest she sells at least one of her horses but she won't even though she hasn't touched them for ages!!! I have even offered her 2k for one of them but she just isn't interested *I think 2k for a 7 year old horse that hasn't been touched for the best part of a year with no comp experience was generous!* . Poor horses are just going to waste!!! Her horses are still on grazing at the moment but look poor so god knows how she will afford feed ect.

How can people be so unrealistic?!!!
 
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Will try to not make it too long!

I have a friend who is 18/19 and has got herself in to a daft situation but won't take any advice!

A few years ago she came across a really good horse and bought him. 12 months ago a half brother to the horse she already had came up for sale and her parents took out a 4k loan so she could buy the horse on the understanding that she would make the repayments. Bear in mind she was about 18 at the time, not the academic type and did not have a well paid job .. i.e was just waitressing for a while then drifting to another low paid job. So my first rant is.. what parent in the right mind would take out the loan for her when she doesn't have the means of paying it back?!

For the last 6 - 8 months both these talented horses have been left in the field and done nothing. She told me today she would bring them back in to work now but she can't afford the farrier!! She lost her job, still owes her parents 4k - they are having to make the replayments. She also owes the bank money and has till friday to at least pay £180 out of the £800 she owes before she/her parents are blacklisted!!!

So I suggest she sells at least one of her horses but she won't even though she hasn't touched them for ages!!! I have even offered her 2k for one of them but she just isn't interested *I think 2k for a 7 year old horse that hasn't been touched for the best part of a year with no comp experience was generous!* . Poor horses are just going to waste!!! Her horses are still on grazing at the moment but look poor so god knows how she will afford feed ect.

How can people be so unrealistic?!!!

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Did you offer her £2k for the £4k horse?
Wish I had friends like you
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S
 
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haha no, the other one which she paid just under 2k for originally

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I'll stop being so cynical then.
I'd advise you to steer well clear of her and this situation...it's up to her how she resolves it...and you can only stand and watch.
S
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I really do like the horse, not just offering to have it to help her out lol but apart from that there is nothing I can or will do to help her out.
 
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I really do like the horse, not just offering to have it to help her out lol but apart from that there is nothing I can or will do to help her out.

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Why don't you see if you can borrow it from her for six months or a year...then she doesn't have to pay its bills and has a fighting chance of getting back on her feet financially.
Obviously strict contracts as you wouldn't want to be used as a free fittening service. Or wait til she puts it up for sale and buy it then?
S
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Sounds really difficult, what can you say/do .... but she sounds like a typical teenager, and in her own dolly daydream world. Not only this but she's thinking "if I leave it alone it'll all go away" as children do.

I have a thirteen yr old daughter and am in the process of selling her horse as she overhorsed herself (obviously my fault for listening) and still thinks she can ride it! It's only because I keep having to get on and give it what for that she could ride it for the last four months.

This girlie seriously needs to grow up. What worries me is the fact that they haven't seen a farrier for a year by the sound of it!

Other than that, she is having the best lesson life can offer right now, I feel sorry for the parents, but they asked for it...
 
And how do you think this 'friend' would feel knowing that you have put her extremely personal and private information on a public forum for everyone and his dog to read and see!!!!!! Bit insensitive do you not think!?
 
I saw the horses a few weeks ago, the feet really aren't that bad but do need some attention. She has spent the last 6 months going out farr too much and spending what she doesn't have.

Unfortunatly I am not interested in loaning a horse, putting in a lot of work then running the chance of her taking it back and selling it for a fortune thats to my hard work.
 
You rant as much as you like, this appears to be something that happens all over. I know many people who have horses and do not have the means to keep them, it does make you made, but you need to blame your friends parents as they are the fools to have bought her horses in the first place.

I wanted a horse desperately as a child, but my parents could not afford lessons, so, I went and helped out at a local yard in exchange for lessons. Once I was old enough and had worked as a groom to gain more knowledge, I went out and got a better paid job so that I could fund owning a horse. I bought my first horse when I was 23 and in a secure position to pay for everything.

My parents have never given me money and I'm proud that everything I have, trailer and all is from my own hard work.

It annoys me when my hay and feed goes missing to fund someone who has 6 horses and does not work to keep them! Oh, now you've got me going and it was your rant, you don't mind sharing do you
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I would just keep out of it, if she is your friend then act like a good friend and help her and not profit from her misery. If her horses are in good health then its no=one elses business but hers..
 
Thank you for the replies. Thanks to a few rude replies that I have recieved *that people decided not to post on the open forum* I did ask admin to remove the topic for me as not once have I caused or been involed with a heated topic on this site and would like it to remain that way. After a rather rude reply off admin turns out they don't delete posts so least I tried.
 
I don't think there is anything wrong with this thread either - you haven't mentioned any names.

Anyway going back to your point - yes it really miffs me when people go and buy horses and can't afford to care for them properly!

Oh and if it makes you feel any better - I'd be the one offering 2K for the 4K horse... what someone pays for a horse is not relative in the slightest to it's market value of today.
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I shouldnt worry to much, i am sure nobody knows who you are on about anyway, but aslong as the horses are resonably ok, i shouldnt let it bother you, as its not your problem to worry about!
 
Im glad they don't - that encourages people to not face their wrongs!
I agree with the poster above, its not very classy to post all about it on an open forum! It must be lovely to know whatever hardship you are going through your friends will slag you off on a forum!
 
Oh so nothing like what you previously wrote?

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That if the woman I work with makes one more snide remark to me I might just get up, get my stapler and ram it so far down her effing throat that she'll be sh!tting staples for weeks.

Thanks.


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That wasn't my friend Tia - it was a colleague - SLIGHTLY different in the fact that I dont pretend to be 'besties' with her, or chose to be with her...
So I think you are wrong on that one!
 
sorry but there are too many people around in this country that seem to think that others will fund their lifestyle choices without working, binge drinking and smoking their earnings and then pleading poverty in regard to items that are their responsibility - whether it be children, dogs, horses or a hamster.

Parents now have to realise that the kids they produce will likely be 'millstones' round their neck until they are 25 - due to price of houses, inflation, tuition fees, etc.

I think that there are two sides to this and OP has a valid point which is seen in lots of livery yards (and plently of posts about livery x who never comes to seee horse y appear on this forum - most weeks as well).

the parents were doing their best for their child
the 'child' is being selfish and grasping and by the sounds of it a bit lazy - after all if you have 2 horses and aren't working - what better than going out riding - lots of us that work full time would love to have 7 days a week with nothing to do but rider our horses !!!
 
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That wasn't my friend Tia - it was a colleague - SLIGHTLY different in the fact that I dont pretend to be 'besties' with her, or chose to be with her...

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Same difference. And the OP isn't 'pretending' to be besties with anyone. She is commenting on a situation.........
 
No she is trying to make profit from a friend's bad luck - I would expect my friend to offer help not say O I'll buy your horse from you - its obviously not what the friend wants.

And no its not the same difference as I dont owe my workmate anything whereas you are meant to try and do the best by your friends - not feather your own nest.

Maybe OP has realised this by the fact she's trying to delete her post??? speaks volumes!
 
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No she is trying to make profit from a friend's bad luck - I would expect my friend to offer help not say O I'll buy your horse from you

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Gosh I don't read it like that at all. I read it as a friend trying to bale another friend out of a situation by offering to buy one of the horses from her.

As for posting about friends / colleagues - it is the same. You are obviously not old enough or experienced enough to appreciate that.
 
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Sounds really difficult, what can you say/do .... but she sounds like a typical teenager, and in her own dolly daydream world. Not only this but she's thinking "if I leave it alone it'll all go away" as children do.


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Ditto.

just leave her too it. but keep an eye on the horses just incase, as by the sounds of it she doesnt really have their best interest in mind - she is being selfish they could be in good homes being spoiled instead of being ignored. what a waste of young sound horses IMO! she should just wake up to the real world and sell either both or atleast one.
 
I dont think the OP is doing anything wrong by offering to buy the horse, after all the girl isnt interested in it, has been spending her money and time doing other things, and is in trouble.

Obv her horses arent her priority if she can go out drinking and spending but doesnt want to pay for a farrier for her horses, at least she will know the horse is in a good home.
 
What I'd want to know is why the parents aren't putting BOTH horses up for sale and telling their silly daughter to grow up and learn what her responsibilities are! Might sound harsh but it's a life lesson she needs to learn by the sound of it. Can you not talk to her parents, offer them the £2k if you think it will help...
 
No maybe I have enough friends not to have to see my workmates as friends also!

As always we only have one side of the story and to me it sounds like sour grapes - would love to know how OP bought her ponies? I wonder if she worked and saved up for them or if her parents bought them for her? I wonder also if the horse would be better off with her (and her three other horses) or not??
 
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