Recovering from the worst day of my life

tobiano1984

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9 February 2012
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962
It's taken me a few days to be able to write this but I feel like sharing will help me come to terms with it. On Friday 17th January 2014 I went out for a quiet hack on my beloved horse Rupert, with another lady riding one of my youngsters. Only 10 minutes from home on a quiet country lane we were hit by a van that I feel was going too fast to be passing horses. The other horse (a young but bombproof cob) was fine but Rupert spooked at the noise of the van (rattling flatbed) and they came past far to fast and close and hit him in the side, knocking me off. I knew as I hit the road that he was hurt, but he ran off and stopped in the field next to the road, holding his back leg in the air. The rest of it is a blur and I can't remember what order things happened in, I remember trying to get up to go to him but my arm and leg wouldn't work and I was just screaming - I'm not a crier or a screamer but I just knew something bad had happened to him and I felt totally helpless. A paramedic arrived, then police, ambulance, helicopter. It seemed like forever but someone from the yard came up and caught Rupert and managed to lead him back to the yard. The fact that he walked back gave me hope and they told me that he was happy in his stable eating so I dared to hope that miraculously he was OK.

After cutting all my kit off and taking off my boots the paramedics found that some bones in my foot had pierced the skin and there was lots of blood. I went to hospital in the ambulance and had xrays, was plastered up etc and received the call I was dreading from my boyfriend while I was in A&E. He said the vets had come and x-rayed Rupert and despite being hopeful it turned out that he'd broken his hock and his lower leg, and after sending it to the top vet surgeon they deduced that even if they operated he'd never be sound and would probably suffer awful problems within a year or two and end up being put down fairly soon anyway. I had to speak to the vet and give the go ahead whilst lying on the bed totally helpless. I wanted to be with him but couldn't move. I'm very lucky that my wonderful boyfriend, despite not being very horsey has been very involved in my yard and horses, was able to be with Rupert and brushed him and fed him carrots and ultimately held him whilst he was PTS by injection. He is utterly devastated as he loved him to bits but said that he went very peacefully and quietly.

It's just total shock, he was only 6 and I'd had him from 2 and broken him in myself, won showing shows, hunted, hacked and had so much fun but had many plans to compete him in the coming years and have him until he was an old man. He was so beautiful and such a character and although I have other horses none of them are a patch on him. I constantly think of all the small things that could have changed and all of this wouldn't have happened, simple things such as taking out one of the other horses instead, which I was going to do initially, or not going out at that moment as it was raining.

As for myself, I've broken all bar one of my metatarsals in my foot, and can't walk for at least 6-8 weeks, and have broken all of the bones in my arm around my elbow. But these injuries feel insignificant compared to the loss of my gorgeous boy. I'm thankful for the fact that Rupert didn't die writhing in agony on the side of the road, but peacefully in the grass by the barn being held and cuddled by one of his family. I just miss him so much and can't believe how much one animal can affect you and impact your life.

I'm sorry if this puts a downer on your day but I've shared much about Rupert on here and know that there will be people out there who have gone through the same and I also feel that sharing helps to get you over such things.

Anyway, here he is and he will always live on in our hearts:







 

Hedwards

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13 June 2008
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3,902
How terrible for you, I'm so sorry for your loss, he was beautiful. I hope your physical wounds heal quickly, I know the emotional wounds may take a long time. You have my condolances, and massive hugs.
 

Gloi

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Joined
8 May 2012
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5,089
Crying now. I always dread something like this happening to us. At least you can say he had a good life while he was with you. Hope you recover okay from your injuries. *Hugs*
 

Mrs B

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3 May 2010
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6,310
Don't know what to say except I am so very sorry. Bless you all and sleep tight, Rupert. What a beauty and all of us who hack are thinking 'there but for the grace ...' :0( x
 

kerenza

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16 February 2009
Messages
91
I'm crying after reading this - what a horrific thing to happen. I am so so sorry for your loss, he was really beautiful.
 

Patterdale

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28 December 2009
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Wherever I lay my hat.
Oh my goodness you poor thing :(
He was absolutely beautiful. You are very lucky to have had such a horse. I lost my horse of a lifetime in an accident (not road related) and it was awful. That's the line I trot out to myself but it doesn't always help.
It will get better in time but you'll always miss him.

Has he van driver been charged?
 

Polos Mum

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Joined
22 September 2012
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4,859
Location
West Yorkshire
There are no words. But I hope it helps just a little to know that people are thinking of you - very sad but try (when possible) to remember all the good times you had with him.
 

HaffiesRock

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Joined
26 August 2011
Messages
4,395
OP, I do not know what to say. What a truly horrifying and traumatic thing to happen to you both.

I hope you heal very soon, both physically and emotionally and remember we are always here for you if you want to talk xxx
 

starry23

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Joined
27 July 2013
Messages
145
I am so so sorry for your loss, how absolutely devastating :'( I hope you heal up ok. I too hope the van driver is brought to justice.
 

EffyCorsten

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Joined
10 March 2013
Messages
622
I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know what to say other than how sorry I am but I had to write something as I'm balling my eyes out for you and Rupert. He was a gorgeous boy and so lucky that he had you in his life and I'm sure you feel so lucky to have shared his.
I wish we could all take your heart break away :(

RIP beautiful Rupert
Take care of yourself and know that we are all thinking about you and wishing you a speedy recovery from your own awful injuries xxx
 
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