Regaining confidence after a short break

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emfen1305

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For various reasons including injuries (both me and the horse), weather and work, I have not really ridden my cob consistently (maybe 10 times) since November last year which doesn't sound like a huge amount of time but my confidence seems to have totally disappeared. We've done a lot of lunging and groundwork to keep him fit so he's not been totally left. I bought him almost a year ago and spent the summer hacking out, going to the local dressage, some clear rounds, a fun ride and a beach ride and having lessons but now thinking about it fills me with dread!

I realised how bad it was when I started to plan local shows and dressage and just couldn't get excited about it so I lowered my expectations and planned just some small hacks but chickened out of them. It's not totally irrational, he does a fantastic 180 spin when he is being silly and has had me off a few times - I posted about this in a different thread. I think this is probably what is making me feel this way as I am worried about him messing around but he doesn't do it all of the time, he is mostly a saint but he will definitely take the mick if he knows I am not on form. I took him for a short walk up the lane last night and asked my friend to walk with me on foot and despite being forward, he didn't do anything but I was so relieved when I got off. I am forcing myself to get back on him tonight in the arena as my friends keep saying it will get better once I get back into the swing of things.

I just can't fathom why I feel like this, I love riding, I was riding 5-6 times a week last year and he's a super cob who loves his work and is very obliging (bar the spinning!). I have tried mindfulness and meditating but I just don't find it really works but maybe I am not doing it right. Can anyone recommend anything or will it just get better with time?
 
Confidence is such a tricky thing, sometimes there isn't a great deal of logic to why you start to lose it, other times something huge can happen and you hop back on without a care in the world. o_O

I think in general, regular repetition and good experiences will help to settle the nerves and get you back in the swing of things.
Keep on saddling up and getting on even if it's just for a short spell doing something easy you both enjoy.

I also find having a trainer or instructor telling me what to do is really good for my nerves, firstly because it makes me follow instructions rather than start to imagine things going wrong, and secondly you have that safety net of someone to help IF something goes wrong. Bonus!
 
If you've posted about the spinning I may already have suggested this: as someone's who's horse used to spin I used a monkey grip strap on the saddle to hold onto to make myself feel more secure.

When same horse dumped me a couple of years ago and I hurt my back, I asked husband for an air jacket which I wear all the time now. Plus I usually wear full seat breeches for that extra stickiness.

Feeling secure gives me more confidence.
 
It sounds like a mixture of not feeling secure enough like asmp says and partly a negative mindset. I’m not great on the former but suspect lessons etc will help. On the latter, I used a sports psychologist/confidence coach last year. That combined with a mini training boot camp does seemed to have helped me control my over active brain!
 
Have a look for Karl Greenwood. There’s loads of videos on you tube. A comment that really stuck with me was something along the lines of its impossible for boredom and anxiety to go together. He also talks a lot about bite size chunks so Repetition and small achievable targets are what works for me. You won’t get anywhere if you just avoid the thing that makes you anxious.
 
As MP says, the only way through this is to just keep saddling up and getting on - even if you only walk down the drive and back. When that gets boring, you do more - and before you know it, you're out doing whatever it was you wanted to do in the first place. It really does work.

Lessons, a support network, setting yourself up to succeed with your tack etc all helps too, of course.
 
So sorry everyone for some reason none of the replies showed up as notifications and only just thought to check!

I only wear my sticky bums now (thinking back, wearing gym leggings was not the best idea!) and I am going with the "just get on with it approach" as suggested by a few people and made a plan to ride 3 days minimum and not to chicken out. I have ridden in the arena a couple of times and no disasters there so feeling much better about riding in there. Took him for a short hack with a friend and her horse at the weekend and he was nice and forward but again nothing silly. Tonight was the first major test, I was supposed to hack with a friend but she was running late, the arena was booked so I took him down the lane by myself and despite being terrified we managed to get through half an hour without any disasters.

My friend is going to babysit me around a farm ride in a couple of weeks which i, I was umming and arring about going to but she wanted to someone to go with so I am trying to look at it as me doing her a favour (in reality it is the other way round!). I have also booked in dressage at a venue we have been to before (the first two times were great but the last time he did his silly spin trick and had me off twice) but I have asked for the early time slot so I can lunge him there to get it out of his system.

The new saddle has arrived but waiting for the fitter to fit it so hopefully that will help. I've also put a neck strap on for now too. Just so horrible feeling nervous, I so wish I was more confident as I think he will be such a nice allrounder I just hope I can get the best out of him!
 
emfen1305 said:
My friend is going to babysit me around a farm ride in a couple of weeks which i, I was umming and arring about going to but she wanted to someone to go with so I am trying to look at it as me doing her a favour (in reality it is the other way round!).
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Are you going to SPF? If you want more company, PM me, because I want a quiet go round with Muffin soon, and he's been great in company at lessons and hacking with a friend.
 
emfen1305 said:
For various reasons including injuries (both me and the horse), weather and work, I have not really ridden my cob consistently (maybe 10 times) since November last year which doesn't sound like a huge amount of time but my confidence seems to have totally disappeared. We've done a lot of lunging and groundwork to keep him fit so he's not been totally left. I bought him almost a year ago and spent the summer hacking out, going to the local dressage, some clear rounds, a fun ride and a beach ride and having lessons but now thinking about it fills me with dread!

I realised how bad it was when I started to plan local shows and dressage and just couldn't get excited about it so I lowered my expectations and planned just some small hacks but chickened out of them. It's not totally irrational, he does a fantastic 180 spin when he is being silly and has had me off a few times - I posted about this in a different thread. I think this is probably what is making me feel this way as I am worried about him messing around but he doesn't do it all of the time, he is mostly a saint but he will definitely take the mick if he knows I am not on form. I took him for a short walk up the lane last night and asked my friend to walk with me on foot and despite being forward, he didn't do anything but I was so relieved when I got off. I am forcing myself to get back on him tonight in the arena as my friends keep saying it will get better once I get back into the swing of things.

I just can't fathom why I feel like this, I love riding, I was riding 5-6 times a week last year and he's a super cob who loves his work and is very obliging (bar the spinning!). I have tried mindfulness and meditating but I just don't find it really works but maybe I am not doing it right. Can anyone recommend anything or will it just get better with time?
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This was me till a few weeks back see my post - https://forums.horseandhound.co.uk/threads/nerves.773449/#post-13953341


I got this one https://www.lovecbd.org/product/300mg-dutch-cbd-oil-spray/
 
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