response to yesterdays huge thread...

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exhausted

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Hi All,
I know the thread has now been pulled (I read it all), but I just thought some people may want to hear my ‘side’ of this – I am the owner of the pony in the rather huge ‘is it murder’ euthanasia debate thread yesterday.

I am not going to bitch or slag anyone off – everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I feel that this thread is taking away from the fact that this is about the pony, not some personal vendetta.

Right where do I start… ok, I do have another horse, a 26 yr old PBA, who cribs, so yes, he is incredibly hard to keep condition on in winter, and obviously at his age the legs are not quite as good as they were in his youth, but he is by no means ridden when ‘hopping lame’. I’m fairly sure someone would have said something to me by now if he were, we’re all horse lovers on our yard after all!
I have a foundation degree in equine studies, which by no means makes me an expert, I wouldn’t dream of claiming to ‘know it all’ as none of us does! I get on well with the majority of owners on the yard & am willing to try to help others who ask me for advice or for my opinion – not really a crime I feel.

Granted I may not compete often, it’s not really my thing. I don’t get to ride nearly as often as I’d like, due to working full time to finance my horses, and my old boy needing resting when he is unsound, but I am by no means a complete incompetent novice.

I was in the same school year as the lady who posted the original thread, although I didn’t know her then, and have never really spoken to her properly. Unfortunately she now appears to dislike me for some reason. No idea why & I have no reason to have any issue with her.

There had never been any real interest shown in me or what I was doing with my pony until the morning he was due to go. There were also no offers to ‘take him on’ until the same day. No money was ever offered & it wouldn’t have made a blind bit of difference to my decision as this was never the issue.

I have had some amazing times with him, he taught me so much about feel & sensitivity that is so crucial in working with these wonderful animals, He made me laugh, cry & everything in between, but the bottom line is I loved him & I always will, whatever anyone says.

I took my pony on approx. 4 years ago as a project (he was about 3) he had been rescued from an abusive home by a lady who unfortunately did not have the time to give him the one to one care he needed. When he got to her yard he was so traumatised & afraid of human contact that he would stand at the back of the stable & shake, it took 4 weeks just to get him to accept a body brush touching his neck, and once out catching him nigh on impossible.

When I took him on we spent the first few months introducing him to all the normal routine things on the ground, not an easy task when the poor boy would shoot 5ft in the air at the slightest touch & even more so on his off side belly – clearly a symptom of the beatings he’d had to endure in his ‘previous life’, plus a fear of whips, brooms, pretty much anything anyone was holding! Apologies to anyone he ever nearly sat on or squashed while spooking if you’re reading this.

I spent well over a year on basic ground work, leading, voice commands, introducing lunging etc – granted I didn’t long rein initially, due to him being uncomfortable with anything touching his belly at the time!

By the second year he had become more accepting of being touched & I then introduced the saddle, with lots of slow steady repetition, same way we’ve done everything all along. Once he was comfortable with this, I began to lean over his back with an assistant holding him, this progressed well & within a few weeks I felt he was relaxed enough to just start to slide my leg over his back a little way, no intention of getting on. Unfortunately with him being so over sensitised on the off side, he shot forward, which I believe must be the ‘incident’ the OP describes, although she was not there at the time.

I did not ‘scream & jump off allowing the pony to run off tangled up in a lunge line’ I got up off the floor, checked all my limbs worked, dusted myself off & caught my pony who had pulled away from the person helping me.
At this point I chose to go back to the drawing board & worked for a few more weeks desensitising the off side by running down the stirrup leathers with some lightweight plastic stirrups on while lunging.

Due to his trust issues with other people, I found that he was actually a lot more calm & receptive when I did not have an assistant at his head (he had issues with pressure being applied if not released at exactly the right moment.) So I began backing him alone in his stable – not the safest I know, and I wouldn’t recommend it in all but extreme cases like his, but this was where he was most relaxed & felt safest.

I continued lying over his back & putting a foot atop his (ample) bottom, for several weeks until we got to the point where he accepted me on board. We walked around the stable until he was totally relaxed with this, then moved in to the school, following the same routine, laying across his back etc before I got on.

We did about 2 weeks of successful walk work & then introduced 2 strides of trot, no problem the first time, came back to walk sweetly, second time he lost his balance on the downward transition , panicked & galloped, I took a light contact, he wasn’t going to come back to me, so I took the pressure off, to prevent him panicking more, ‘sat it out’ & balanced him as best I could through the corners (serious motorbiking)after a few more laps, he wasn’t slowing so for his & my safety I chose to ‘bail out’ as he could very easily have fallen on me & also hurt himself. Again no fuss, screaming, or drama. I just picked my moment & got off!

Once he had had plenty of time to calm down, I remounted, intending to walk one circle to finish on a better note, but on asking for walk, he galloped immediately & same again. I don’t know if many people have sat on a truly panic bolting horse, but I can tell you it’s a totally different feeling to something just taking hold of the bit & being naughty.

He had always intermittently bolted on the lunge, so I feel that loss of balance was a major trigger factor in this. After several months of going back to basics in the stable, and lots more lunging, long reining etc, I remounted a few times in the school, but as he was so tense I decided that for his mental state & my physical wellbeing that at this point, it was unsafe to continue & he needed a break for a while.

During his ‘holiday’ he managed to acquire a strike injury to one of his extensor tendons just below the hock, this resulted in over £1000 worth of vets fees & several months of box rest, which ultimately ended up with him having to be given oral sedatives on a daily basis to be walked out, due to him literally flying round my head as soon as he got out the stable (very impressive caprioles!) Obviously this delayed my restarting of his work & also left him with the potential of a weak point in the tendon.

It also left him with an extreme aversion to farriers, which worsened & ultimately culminated in him overriding the sedalin paste he had been given & directing both back feet at my farrier, who literally reached a hand out to touch his shoulder, if it had been a few inches either way he would have been very seriously hurt. Still not dangerous?
It ended up costing nearly £100 per foot trim as the vet had to inject sedatives every time. Not many people would be overly willing to do that long term I feel…

I have on several occasions in the past 4 years sought the advice & help of others, including professionals, unfortunately there appears to have been a bit of a presumption that just because someone hasn’t physically seen something happen, it never did! A tree falling in a wood, anyone?
 
I have purchased every calmer, pressure halter & training aid that I thought may help, and although some were marginally helpful, nothing can change the fact that over a quarter of a tonne of incredibly instinctive & reactive pony will always win in a strength contest when it’s pumped full of adrenaline &/or scared!

I have never & would never ‘just let go’ of my horse in an inappropriate situation, he had only recently developed an issue with being turned out & would bolt for no apparent reason to his field gate. I used a slip rope to allow it to fall away if he did get loose for safety reasons, and as he had done it on a number of previous occasions, I did advise a fellow livery who was going to try to help catch him, to leave him, as he may well have run through her or kicked out, due to him being positioned in a corner at the time. I apologise if she misunderstood why I said this, but there wasn’t time to explain, as I was opening the field gate to get him back to where he was meant to be!

I would willingly have rehomed him as a companion if he was suitable for this, however he was incredibly insecure when left alone, both in the field & also in the stable if his field mate wasn’t in & would box walk regardless of other horses being present. Changes of field unsettled him massively even within the same yard, so no idea what he would have done going elsewhere?! Also with his farrier issues, I doubt many people would even consider that kind of financial outlay on something which essentially is a ‘field ornament’ harsh as it sounds.

He was an incredibly good doer & so needed muzzling to prevent laminitis, which in itself isn’t a massive problem, but obviously if he managed to take the muzzle off his being difficult to catch could quite quickly cause a welfare issue. For anyone interested, I did remove his muzzle overnight before he went & for 2 days in the previous week, but to be honest, I didn’t want to let him spend the last few days he had crippled & in pain or with colic from a sudden dietary change

It has been an incredibly difficult decision to have to make, but for him I feel it was his only real option, it was nothing to do with money or boyfriends (though if you find this mythical mystery man send him my way!) I have been made redundant twice since I’ve owned this pony, and worked 3 part time jobs to keep my boys. Money never came in to it.

Just because there is no physical damage doesn't mean an animal is in no pain from mental issues. His issues were deep rooted. Some can be turned around some can't. Sometimes we have to face up to that fact and put the animal’s welfare above our sentimental feelings.

Its past 4.30am, This is far too long already, and by no means anywhere near all of what we’ve been through, but I hope it goes a little way in explaining why I came to the decision I did.

My priority always has & always will be the welfare of my animals; I could not morally or reasonably have passed him on to an unknown future, where inevitably somewhere along the line his fate would have been the same, or perhaps worse. No animal deserves the level of abuse he received as a youngster, and I can rest easy knowing that he had several years happy & pain free, which is way more than some will ever know.

I’ve had a horrible day,

Let my boy rest in peace now.

Thanks
 
Good morning, it was most unfortunate that you saw this posting at all, which must have upset you a lot, I don't really have much else to say, but I am sure there will be some comments, but not as many as the previous one.
 
Wow, just wow. I feel bad that you felt the need to have to come and explain yourself to a bunch of 'strangers' on an internet forum so soon after having to put your boy to sleep. I hope that things settle on your yard for you.
 
It's a very true saying that there are two sides to every story. Thank you for sharing yours during what must be an incredibly sad and painful time for you.

Many were totally understanding of your position. We too have a horse unsafe to ride although 100% healthy. He seems to have a loose connection in his brain and will be a wonderful horse for weeks at a time until he violently explodes for no reason. We have done all the usual back/teeth/saddle checks and he has had a full vet work-up plus xrays with no physical problems discovered. At the moment we are able to keep him safe and happy, although he has had one episode were he 'lost the plot' unridden and for no apparent reason. However, should anything change (and who knows what the future holds) he too will be PTS.

Sometimes it isn't fair on the horse or on a future owner to risk doing anything else. The person who originally posted seemed to think it was 'jealousy' on your part that made you unable to pass him on, plus a fear that others could do what you were unable to. I don't think she ever stopped to think how you would have felt if you had seen the horse treated in ways that you wouldn't or if you saw a person hurt by him. Jealousy doesn't always come into the equation, but your conscience does.

I truly hope your boy is now at rest and that you can go on and have some happy days with your oldie.
 
Exhausted,

I read the entire thread and didn't comment as I sincerely believe that a) we only had one side of the story (which was being put over in a higly emotive fashion) and b) it is always the owners right to choose (only the owner truly knows their horse)

Thank you for your reasoned, intelligent, non emotive and full response to "that thread".

You are a far better person than me as I would be raging!

Hopefully having read the thread you will see you had a lot of support.

I hope you have someone to support you over the next few days in what has been a difficult decision made much harder and that life at your livery yard is not too horrendous following this as you in all probabiliy need to spend as much time as possible with your old chap.

Wishing you all the best and apologies that a difficult time for you turned into an internet sensation and that you felt you had to come online and explain yourself to a bunch of strangers the evening after having your obviously much cared about boy put to sleep.

And folks let this be a big lesson to us all!

Chav x
 
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I did read the other thread & tbh it made me glad that I am at a yard where, if your horse is being pts, people will support you not slag you off. You have my deepest sympathy for what you have been through in both respects.
 
Some horses just don't want to be here. Mental illness can be horrific and with the best care in the world it cannot always be 'fixed'. In any event there are so many horses going free and being dumped at the moment, surely they are more of a concern than ur boy who quietly went to sleep at home and knows nothing about it. U have my sympathy.
 
Im another who read the thread and did nt comment.
It s awful that this has happenned to you Exhausted and you do sound very rational.
I can t imagine what your yard feels like at the moment for you on top of the experience you have just had.
good luck with the old boy.
 
I read the thread but again did not comment as I didn't feel I could give an opinion without both sides of the story, and the way that original post was put across seemed a bit overreactive.

I think you have done completely the right thing by your horse, and this is much better than leaving him to an uncertain future.

What a terrible shame you didn't have support from other people at your yard, and that you felt you had to come on here (as a fellow poster said) and justify yourself to a load of strangers. Having said this, most of us agreed with you from the start, and if you ever do need advice / support, then you will find most of us friendly and supportive :)
 
Sorry you had to read that thread, as well of the obvious loss of your horse who you it sounds you tried your best for.

It still amuses me that some people seem to forget that when posting on HHO, everyone and indeed everyone can see it...including the person it may well be about.
 
I did read some of the post , but didn't comment as i too believe there are two sides to every story.
You obviously did your best for the pony and nobody can EVER hold that against you.
I commend you for writing this post at such a time when you are no doubt in grief , only you know if you've done the right thing by him and i''m sure you have , but i'm certainly never going to judge you and others shouldn't be so quick to , lest they ever find themselves in your shoes. Take care Al.
 
Another who read the other thread but didn't post as I felt it was no one else's business other than the owner (you!) and simply by posting I would be interfering in something I had no knowledge of.

It's great that you have felt able to come on and post this at what must already be a horrible time for you.

Hugs and best wishes. Hold your head up high, you have done nothing wrong.
 
I did comment yesterday, and based on what read I gave my opinion. Right or wrongly I was against the pony being PTS. Reading your side of the story it seems the pony was not as healthy and happy as we were lead to believe. You did all you could and sad though it is was the right thing. I've had horses put to sleep on my yard and the majority were supportive, one or 2 would make remarks behind my back. But the ones that supported me were the ones that count. Good luck with your old boy.
 
I briefly read the other thread and have just skimmed through this one. I haven't a huge issue with an animal being PTS to avoid it being passed from hand to hand and an uncertain future. Fundamentally though this has become neccessary because you failed to turn him into a safe, useful pony.
Whether you failed because he was always loopy or because you haven't enough experience is impossible to tell. My gut feel from reading what you have written above is that you didn't have the experiene to take on a nervous pony and didn't ask for help when you should have done.

I might have missed the part where you called in an RA or similar, but that pony sounds like he could have benefitted from one. None of the things you have described are unusual or worrying. Our current 'breaker' would leap 5 ft in the air and shoot to the back of the stable and quiver if you touched him anywhere but on his nearside on his neck/shoulder, my most recent youngster would still like to kick the farriers teeth in (I just trim him myself now), I simply wouldn't entertain getting on a horse alone, & trotting it round a school without a lunge rein for the first time, it's standad practice to get babies used to having the stirrups down and moving against their sides before getting on, of course they might panic feeling something there.

Sorry to sound harsh, it's all academic now, the pony has been pts.
 
Hello
I read the other post, but didnt' comment. ( by the time I read it, it was 48 pages long, so pretty much everything had already been said.... several times :D )
Your response is very calm, I would be devestated and so angry if someone had posted about me on here.
Alot of the posters on that thread you able to see that there would be another side to the story, and a few had been in your situation.
I'm just sad that you have had to come on here to justify yourself, when you are going through a horrible time already.
i'm sorry for the loss of your horse
Kx
 
I am truly saddened that you had to explain yourself at such a sad time. I too had a mare, 10 years old, that had to be pts for pyschological reasons only. I had only had her a year but it became apparent that she was suffering, in her head not her body. Like your boy, she was extremely dangerous and unpredictable to ride and handle.
I am sure that there are plenty more that have had to make this difficult decision for a horse in these circumstances, but do not talk about it because a) its too painful and b) they are all to aware of a potential backlash.
Horses like my mare and your boy would almost certainly be past from pillar to post, definately harming and possibly seriously injurying themselves and others as they go.
Making the decision to pts is never ever easy, and is even harder when you are looking at what appears to be a youngish pysically healthy horse.
 
I also read the previous thread and chose not to comment.
I have been exactly where you are now. A stunningly beautiful horse whose looks and breeding made it very attractive to breeders. She came to me as a last chance saloon so to speak.
After a year it became obvious her issues after the abuse she
had received were
insurmountable. She was perfectly capable of killing Some one at times, and was always on edge and unhappy.
I made the same decision that you did and received huge criticism, mainly from people who wanted her for breeding. (I was offered very good money for her on several occasions)
This girl was a mess mentally, and my conscience would not allow me to send her off into god knows what sort of a future.
I feel for you, we can't always put other people's bad treatment right, however much we want to. The answer is not to pass them round to others to 'try'
You made the right decision for the pony.
A shame more didn't do that.
 
siennamum said:
I briefly read the other thread and have just skimmed through this one. I haven't a huge issue with an animal being PTS to avoid it being passed from hand to hand and an uncertain future. Fundamentally though this has become neccessary because you failed to turn him into a safe, useful pony.
Whether you failed because he was always loopy or because you haven't enough experience is impossible to tell. My gut feel from reading what you have written above is that you didn't have the experiene to take on a nervous pony and didn't ask for help when you should have done.

I might have missed the part where you called in an RA or similar, but that pony sounds like he could have benefitted from one. None of the things you have described are unusual or worrying. Our current 'breaker' would leap 5 ft in the air and shoot to the back of the stable and quiver if you touched him anywhere but on his nearside on his neck/shoulder, my most recent youngster would still like to kick the farriers teeth in (I just trim him myself now), I simply wouldn't entertain getting on a horse alone, & trotting it round a school without a lunge rein for the first time, it's standad practice to get babies used to having the stirrups down and moving against their sides before getting on, of course they might panic feeling something there.

Sorry to sound harsh, it's all academic now, the pony has been pts.
Click to expand...

Siennamum - there is a time and place - and in my opinion this is neither.

P
 
siennamum said:
I briefly read the other thread and have just skimmed through this one. I haven't a huge issue with an animal being PTS to avoid it being passed from hand to hand and an uncertain future. Fundamentally though this has become neccessary because you failed to turn him into a safe, useful pony.
Whether you failed because he was always loopy or because you haven't enough experience is impossible to tell. My gut feel from reading what you have written above is that you didn't have the experiene to take on a nervous pony and didn't ask for help when you should have done.

I might have missed the part where you called in an RA or similar, but that pony sounds like he could have benefitted from one. None of the things you have described are unusual or worrying. Our current 'breaker' would leap 5 ft in the air and shoot to the back of the stable and quiver if you touched him anywhere but on his nearside on his neck/shoulder, my most recent youngster would still like to kick the farriers teeth in (I just trim him myself now), I simply wouldn't entertain getting on a horse alone, & trotting it round a school without a lunge rein for the first time, it's standad practice to get babies used to having the stirrups down and moving against their sides before getting on, of course they might panic feeling something there.

Sorry to sound harsh, it's all academic now, the pony has been pts.
Click to expand...

there s allways one.
 
.......but it is the most responsible thing to do. Horses like this are suffering, even if you cant see it on the outside.
I am so sorry that you had to read that thread and that such a person could go out of there way to stir up such a hornets nest. I was lucky to have heaps of support at the time and everybody knew and understood. I did and i still do sometimes beat myself up over it, but its more about why couldnt her past have been different than her time with me.
Ultimately you mafe a brave, responsible and most of all caring decision to end the pyschological trauma that your lad had been going through.
Hugs for you at this difficult time.
 
I cannot imagine how devastated I would feel if I read a thread like that just after having my horse put to sleep. You shouldn't have to explain yourself.

Take care xxxx
 
I'm not surprised you're exhausted! I did comment on the other thread and took it at face value - as I will this one.

Obviously the major facts were omitted by the other poster which led to an emotive discussion. You did everything in your power for this pony and to PTS was the right thing. I am thinking of you in this difficult time.

Please don't judge us too harshly as we were replying to the information available.
 
I also read the thread and chose not to comment as I didn't trust myself not to say something unpleasant.

Deciding to put a much loved pet to sleep is an extremely tough decision and takes guts to see it through but sometimes it has to be done. I have had to put two horses to sleep for behavioural issues and I feel your pain. You did the right thing by your pony and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone else.

Frankly the other poster came across as very young and very naive without ever having to hear your side of the story, so I am not surprised that you come across as a caring, considerate owner.
 
I read some of the thread but didn't post as i didn't feel informed enough to have an opinion. All i can say is that it is not the place of strangers who have only read one side of a story to pass judgement. I have never met you, nor seen the horse in question, but your post gives the impression that you have tried your very best to do what you thought was responsible and right for this horse, and ultimately that is all any of us can really do for our animals.
 
siennamum said:
I briefly read the other thread and have just skimmed through this one. I haven't a huge issue with an animal being PTS to avoid it being passed from hand to hand and an uncertain future. Fundamentally though this has become neccessary because you failed to turn him into a safe, useful pony.
Whether you failed because he was always loopy or because you haven't enough experience is impossible to tell. My gut feel from reading what you have written above is that you didn't have the experiene to take on a nervous pony and didn't ask for help when you should have done.

I might have missed the part where you called in an RA or similar, but that pony sounds like he could have benefitted from one. None of the things you have described are unusual or worrying. Our current 'breaker' would leap 5 ft in the air and shoot to the back of the stable and quiver if you touched him anywhere but on his nearside on his neck/shoulder, my most recent youngster would still like to kick the farriers teeth in (I just trim him myself now), I simply wouldn't entertain getting on a horse alone, & trotting it round a school without a lunge rein for the first time, it's standad practice to get babies used to having the stirrups down and moving against their sides before getting on, of course they might panic feeling something there.

Sorry to sound harsh, it's all academic now, the pony has been pts.
Click to expand...

Maybe next time someone has spent hours (and I'm sure many tears) posting such a sad thread, it would be worth reading it properly before responding, rather than just skimming?

Why post at all really?

Op, this wasn't just about wanting the pony to be ridden, it was about his whole life and the safety of those around him. You spent years getting to know him and doing the best you could. At the end, you did the best you could. I hope you have a good friend to help you through.
 
another who read yesterdays thread but didnt comment- but you did have a lot of support on the thread (far more than the OP) from people saying that she may not have seen the whole story, this is clearly the case and thank you for doing so.

some horses just dont cope with being ridden, and the fact you covered the in hand issues shows you must have had some ability with handling a nervous horse! im sorry for the decision you had to make, but for what its worth it was the right one- i could never live with myself if i sold a dangerous horse and it later killed someone
 
siennamum said:
My gut feel from reading what you have written above is that you didn't have the experiene to take on a nervous pony and didn't ask for help when you should have done.
Click to expand...

Are you serious?? I would say that this lady did by far and away the very best for HER pony she has already stated that he was more nervous with a helper than when alone with her so what possible good would it have done?

Exhausted I did comment on the original thread and I told the OP it was none of her (or anyone else's business!) I have been in the position of facing having seeming healthy horses PTS and I admire your decision, if only every horse was as caring and loyal as you there would be no need for these God awful 'sanctuaries' where you see 40 poor horses stuck on a patch of bare wasteland all because a 'fluffy' is too selfish to give a horse the only guaranteed conclusion.
Please take comfort that the vast majority of 'real horse people' will understand and support your decision entirely. x
 
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