response to yesterdays huge thread...

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Sympathies for your situation.

Sadly there are 'keyboard warriors' in this world, obviously this person wasn't brave or honest enough to tell you her feelings personally.

Everybody has the right to free speech, but we also have to right to not be bullied, and in my personal opinion, this was a case of electronic bullying.

Well done for standing up to them, and hold your head high.
Really, it's nobody's business why your pony was pts, except yours. My mare is heading towards that decision, slowly, for reasons which I won't discuss here, and it's the hardest decision to make. It's like killing part of yourself.

There, I might have to share the kleenex with you now...... :(
 
siennamum said:
I briefly read the other thread and have just skimmed through this one. I haven't a huge issue with an animal being PTS to avoid it being passed from hand to hand and an uncertain future. Fundamentally though this has become neccessary because you failed to turn him into a safe, useful pony.
Whether you failed because he was always loopy or because you haven't enough experience is impossible to tell. My gut feel from reading what you have written above is that you didn't have the experiene to take on a nervous pony and didn't ask for help when you should have done.

I might have missed the part where you called in an RA or similar, but that pony sounds like he could have benefitted from one. None of the things you have described are unusual or worrying. Our current 'breaker' would leap 5 ft in the air and shoot to the back of the stable and quiver if you touched him anywhere but on his nearside on his neck/shoulder, my most recent youngster would still like to kick the farriers teeth in (I just trim him myself now), I simply wouldn't entertain getting on a horse alone, & trotting it round a school without a lunge rein for the first time, it's standad practice to get babies used to having the stirrups down and moving against their sides before getting on, of course they might panic feeling something there.

Sorry to sound harsh, it's all academic now, the pony has been pts.
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Tiny Pony - Second what you have said.

Siennamum it appears that during your "skim Read" of the OP you missed this little nugget of information;

"I have on several occasions in the past 4 years sought the advice & help of others, including professionals, unfortunately there appears to have been a bit of a presumption that just because someone hasn’t physically seen something happen, it never did! A tree falling in a wood, anyone?"
 
you know my thoughts on this K, rest assured that you made the right decision, however heartbreaking.

I hope you feel a bit better this morning xx
 
I did post on the thread yesterday, largely in your defence as I felt that it was unjustified to criticise based on an emotive and personal attack when it was nobody else's business anyway.

You have done your best by the pony where many others wouldn't and would have simply passed him on to god knows what fate.

You need have no guilt and I am just incredibly sorry that you have had to have this additional upset at such a time.

Will be thinking of you today.
 
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I hit the post button in error before i finished my post - just want to add that it is a shame that you have had to experience a public analysis of your decision. I am sure it has made a difficult decision all the more unpleasant and i hope you can put this all behind you and enjoy the comfort of your other horse and hopefully the counsel and support of people who really know you. X
 
There are thousands upon thousands of horses and ponies in the situation of being too far gone to ever be 'useful' and that have issues which mean they are high maintenance.
Many owners pass these animals on to loan homes or companion homes. I've done it myself, with almost tragic results. I learnt the harsh way, and would never let anyone I knew make the same mistake.

The best thing anyone can do for some of these animals is make that ultimate choice and put the welfare of the animal first.

Welfare is not just a physical need for water, food, exercise. Welfare is psychological well being too.

Rest in peace pony, may you be free of worry xx
 
I read but didn't comment as I thought the " murder" comment was totally unreasonable, regardless of the situation it is always your choice as a owner to put a horse to sleep. Even if it was a healthy happy horse (which your was not) I have a companion which has a bit of a screw loose and bad separation anxiety and if I honestly explained that all if I ever had to give her up (luckily old owners will have her back if I'm desperate!) she wouldn't be pass on able! She's a gorgeous and stunning pony so people could be easily swayed by that so I couldn't pass her on :(
 
I didn't read the post about you but if someone had come onto an online forum and slagged me and my extremely difficult decision off, I would be absolutely livid!!! Is the girl at your yard? How awkward. I have so much respect for you, not only for coming on here and putting your side across so calmly and concisely after a seemingly unjustified attack but also for doing the absolute best for your horse. Your horse can finally rest in peace and I hope the mood at your yard lifts soon. I know you should always stand your ground with bullies but I would be packing up and leaving if that was the calibre of person at my yard. Sympathies xxx
 
Didn't read the original thread, the title alone was far too hysterical and childish. Sorry to hear that you have had to come on here and defend yourself.
 
If I ruled the world I'd make everyone who signs up to this forum read the original, hysterical murder post alongside your detailed, calm explanation of the facts. It might put on a check on some of the mudslinging around here.

You really tried, and that pony was lucky to find you – you did the best by him.
 
OP - I think it is a sad state of affairs that you feel you should sign up and give your side of the story. I didn't comment on the other thread. I too have been there and know how hard it is to make the right decision.

I had somebody on my yard ring the Blue Cross to try and take my lad. I actually cancelled the vet and discussed the situation (yet again) with my instructor, vet and Blue Cross.
In the end, I told nobody when I re-booked the vet, that way, there was no emotional blackmail to contend with also.

To have had the whole sorry thing splattered on the internet by some interfering do gooder would have made a very bad situation worse.

I applaud you OP for trying your best and then doing what you felt was the right thing for you pony.
 
Can you imagine the torment and angst of someone coming on here at 4am to try and exonerate herself?! How very sad that a post has caused this :(

From the description given in the post, about your situation, most people felt although they might not agree, it was entirely your decision and that someone should have in no way, brought their personal feelings about your character etc to a public forum

I am really sorry to read your post and now am in no doubt that you did indeed do the right thing and hope that you can take some succour from the fact, by and large, a lot of people did support you.

Stick around maybe, this place isn't just a good place to be critisised with no chance of defending yourself. We can be a nice bunch.
 
As a big contributor to the first thread I feel I need to comment. I took everything at face value, and still do. My main beef on the first thread was the way the OP was treated and not who was right and who was wrong, and I still believe that Stacie was stating things as she honestly saw them. Obviously she was not aware of the full facts. I have actually suggested PTS with a horse that was completely mismanaged by its well meaning and overly soft owner, turning him into a real danger (far worse than your pony as he was not in the slightest bit nervous), and so to an extent I understand where you are coming from. Many people put horses to sleep for financial reasons, and I think you were obviously at the end of your tether with this pony both from a management perspective and a financial one. One thing I think virtually everyone agreed with is that at the end of the day it is the owner's decision on whether or not to PTS and it is very rarely an easy one. RIP little pony. I hope you find peace over the rainbow bridge.
 
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Good morning Exhausted & firstly big ((((hugs)))) I am so sorry that you had to have your boy PTS

I did read most of the thread and I will say again what I said on it...I wish more owners would make the decision you have as it would stop a lot of needless suffering and horses being passed from pillar to post & market to market.

I am very sad that you had to read the whole thread and have to respond at a time when you must be feeling very upset. I would have done exactly the same in your situation, please hold your head high you put the horse first xx
 
I did read the thread... and I did comment. I commented that it was a shame some of the people on here couldn't be PTS with their judgemental and self elevated opinions. I read HHO a lot but don't often comment because of the same old band wagon jumpers.

The horse world is an extremely painfull and tough place at times... but it can also make a human the happiest thing alive on this planet.

It's a sad world when someone, at a very sad time in their life has to come forward and speak.

Exhausted... You did what was right for your boy, you gave him a loving home without abuse and neglect.

RIP little one...
 
I read the other thread when it started but didn't post as I felt there was too much emotion & little fact to base an opinion on.

I would just like to say what a mature posting you have placed on here. It can't have been pleasant to see the original thread, & to respond to it. I hope you can talk to the OP of the other thread to make the atmostphere at your yard calmer. From your posting you seem a well adjusted person who could handle an emotive situation with her. Whilst you are under no obligation to explain your actions to her, it may give her some peace of mind that the right thing was done for your pony. All the best.
 
Paddy Monty posted a very touching story yesterday about his experieince with his much loved loan mare and the very hard decision he had to make for her.

I would like to tell my story which I also keep to myself (due to my total shame that I allowed it to happen as sadly I did not have the moral fibre to do as many of you have done and the OP of this thread has done).

I bought Challenger basically because I felt sorry for him, he was a wormy, skinny TB who was up for sale as his current owner could no longer afford him, I realise now I was a mug of the highest order.

Sadly it was the age old story of a horse being kept in bad condition to keep it well behaved, as Chal put on weight, muscle and condition the real story of his behavoral issues came out, his behavior of choice under saddle was to vertically rear and if that did not work spin and bolt. His behaviour on the ground was highly unpredictable and it got to the stage where the yard staff with the exception of the YO who had 20 years experience of training Trotters would refuse to go near him.

On the day the YO opened his stable to muck out and he turned and tried to double barrell him he finally said no more. He could not be kept with other horses as he was fiercely territorial and needed individual turnout, if you could get him out as it normally involved vertical rears and trying to bolt away from you in hand.

We had every check known to man, vet, teeth, back, physio, saddler, more professionals than I can name from my YO to a professional Dressage rider, to the local western trainer, all tried and all pronunced him totally unpredictable could be 100% fine then flip totally.

I meanwhile had some form of blind faith (or blind arrogance) and insisted on pushing on until the day he flat out panic bolted with me and I woke up with a nice man from the ambulance service kneeling next to me, a broken shoulder, fractured hip, broken knee, smashed ankle and a head injury that left me blind in one eye for a month.

At this point my Husband said "enough now". I had long discussions with my YO, vet and some of the people who had been involved with him and we all came to the decision to PTS was his best option. I then told people what we were intending and one kindly soul found someone who would take him on to "give him one last chance" the lady in question was an experienced horsewoman who was convinced that she could turn him around.

It is to my total shame that I allowed him to go to her, I can not explain why maybe I did not want the guilt of having this very beautiful and occasionally loving horse PTS, maybe my confidence had been knocked to the extent that I thought I was useless and my judgement and that of many others was floored, maybe I secretly hoped there would be a fairytale ending for him...god alone knows. But she bought him for a nominal price and off he went for his glorious last chance. Me I was free of the worry and started to work on healing my broken bones and gathering together my shattered confidence.

As for Challenger? Three weeks later he reared vertically in the school and fell over backwards along with the new owners Head Girl shattering her Pelvis and breaking both her legs, she will never get the chance to fulfill her ambitions of a competitive career. Chal was sold for his meat value and ended his days in an abbatoir in Belguim.

Do I feel guilty - 100% yes

Would I ever take the same course of action if I was ever faced with it again - No Way

Does the thought of what Chal went through in his final hours still haunt me 7 years later - yes every day!

Do I now wish I had had the balls to carry through my initial plan and end his days with a shot of sedalin, a bucket of feed and a painless injection....what do you think?
 
Hi exhausted,

I hope you feel a little better today now that your boy is at peace.

I think most people on the 'big' thread realised that there was more than one side to the story and hopefully others will now realise if they ever find themselves in a similar situation that , just how hurtful and ignorant to others snap judgements are.

I also have to say that you are a much nicer person than I am - to come back with such a polite reasoned response would be beyond me - so kudos to you for that too!
 
I read the other thread and commented. But I did not like the way the OP was treated by some members so I left the thread:)

Some people find it hard to express themselves on here me included, some members find it in themselves to jump on the band wagon and comment on spelling or the way they write. What the OP did was word it how she saw or remembered it. For that she was victim by some for harsh comments.

People are never the same in real life, your judged on what you write down on a keyboard which in my experience does not determine what they are like in real life.
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss Exhausted.

No one ever knows the true story by relying on gossip and 2nd and 3rd hand information.

You have my every sympathy, and I do hope you can put all this behind you eventually.


I will also post my story, in brief:


I bought my horse of a lifetime, after loosing my beautiful little mare.

Horse of a lifetime turned out (despite 5 stage vetting, and after about 9 months) to have numerous problems. Coffin joint disease, rotated pedal bones (toes up), spavins, and collateral ligament damage in his back legs. Despite being managed very carefully, I could not keep him sound. I also found myself in an increasingly precarious financial situation. So I made the decision to have him put down (however, not after spending months trying to find him a suitable home as a companion. I had also contacted his breeders, but they were not in a position to have him).

So, I had him put down. You may find it surprising to learn that I found this more distressing than when I lost my mother to cancer last year.

Whilst many on my yard were sympathetic. An awful lot were not. Anonymous notes calling me a murding b*tch, and snide comments etc. from people who thought they new why I had had him put down - but of course had no idea. I think about the horse every day, and am riddled with guilt about what I did. But it was not the wrong decision, and no one had the right to judge me.

My beautiful, beautiful boy.

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Exhausted, So sorry for you...not only losing your pony that you tried so hard to save, but also for having to read the disgusting tittle tattle in that last thread (which I think should never have been allowed to continue for so long).

I hope that the OP of the first thread (can't remember the name) is now hanging her head in shame :(
 
Chavhorse said:
Do I now wish I had had the balls to carry through my initial plan and end his days with a shot of sedalin, a bucket of feed and a painless injection....what do you think?
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Hugs,
Hindsight is always 20/20, dont beat yourself up about it.
I couldn't be with Juno on the day as I knew if I had been I would not have let it go ahead. I would have moved her and looked after her until one day she hurt someone.
No matter what decision we make horses always seem to leave us feeling guilty.
I guess sometimes we care too much.
 
M_G said:
Good morning Exhausted & firstly big ((((hugs)))) I am so sorry that you had to have your boy PTS

I did read most of the thread and I will say again what I said on it...I wish more owners would make the decision you have as it would stop a lot of needless suffering and horses being passed from pillar to post & market to market.

I am very sad that you had to read the whole thread and have to respond at a time when you must be feeling very upset. I would have done exactly the same in your situation, please hold your head high you put the horse first xx
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Completely agree.
 
Oh Chavhorse that's a horrible story :( Poor you :(

OP, I'm sorry you had to do this an I understand how you are feeling. The night before my lad was PTS one of my 'friends' posted on my Facebook that I couldn't PTS when he looked so well and we hadn't given him enough time to adjust to his new life. She had a horse who'd been difficult at first but now loved his life etc etc. As I'm sure you know I was highly emotional but I knew 110% that I was doing the right thing for both of us.

He too had plenty of issues, he'd been stabbed in his field then got diagnosed with Navicular and he was becoming dangerous to handle. He wasn't happy, he'd lost that sparkle and then one night as I was getting him in from the field he reared and landed on my head. I did not have a hat on. As I was lying in A&E with a suspected fracture of my C1 and a head injury my decision was made. However, at that stage my family and husband said enough was enough and it was.

It is an entirely personal decision and one we can all offer an opinion on but only we can make that decision. As I say I can put my hand on my heart and know I did the right thing despite what anyone else said.

Just to add..some pictures that show that loss of spark.. First was about 6 months before and second was the night before he was PTS.
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Exhausted, Paddymonty and Chavhorse and all others who have had to make the painful decision to put down what appears to the outside world a 'healthy' horse/pony, i salute you. Chavhorse i think you did what you felt was best at the time, you were yourself broken and possibly not in the right emotional place to make that decision for Challenger.x
 
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