response to yesterdays huge thread...

Status
Not open for further replies.
Some years ago on IHDG a thread asked "Can you help this Arab boy?" and to cut a long story short I was the person who took the pony that was on the verge of being put to sleep. It has been quite an adventure, and as he's now 18 I've decided not to push his training any further and that he's as "normal" as he's going to get. The reason he is still alive is because, in spite of the many wierd and wonderful things he's done, I never felt that he could be a danger to others. If I hadn't been sure that someone else could safely deal with him, if I was ill for example, I'd have made the tough decision. Even now, knowing how traumatised he gets by even a move with his companions, I would never re-home him. If he can't stay with me then he'll make his last journey. It doesn't matter how wonderful someone thinks their potential home might be, horses live in the moment, and if he was to be reduced to a shaking, heart pumping wreck hiding under a hedge for even just a day it wouldn't be right.
Nobody can know what is the right thing to do in someone else's situation. All we can do for our horses is do what we feel in our hearts.
 
Exhausted I'm so sorry that a difficult time was made harder for you by the other thread. I hope you see that many people understand exactly what you're going through.

I can only hope I would be strong enough to do as you have done if I'm ever faced with a similar situation. You and all the others who have told their stories on here should be admired for having the compassion to do the right thing, even when it was the hardest thing.
 
I too read the "murder" post but declined to post. There are always two sides to the story and an owner is fully entitled to make whatever decision they deem is responsible and appropriate. Afterall they have to live with the animal and know the full extent of the issues. Nobody takes PTS lightly and to question somebody else's decision in such a public forum is both rude, arrogant and immature.

I rarely voice my anger at some of the pretentious and over opinionated cr@p that gets posted on here, especially when it’s in reference to “some lady at my yard “ type gossip. Hopefully a few lessons will be learnt and it can go back to being a useful and informative site.

My thoughts are with you Exhausted, rest assured you did right by your boy and you are a bigger woman than me to have handle such childish rubbish at a very emotional time with dignity and grace.

Sleep well little pony.
 
didnt even bother reading the threat as the title said it all.
You are obviously a caring sensative person who has made a difficult and wise decision.
There was something similar on the Breeding forum about a yearling who was not good in the head and that for all involved a difficult decision thathad to be made.
I hope you can put this behind you and i hope you dont let the awful comments you recieved put you off being on this forum, there are nice people here.
I hope he now runs free without the worries of the world hes left and you can feel peace at the decision you made.
 
So who do you believe .. person who wrote other post obviously concerned or the owner, both posting different versions of events. Its easy to sit at a pc and write a fairy story, there are certainly plenty on here who do it and there are definately people who write wonderful advice on here but it has been proved do not do that in real life. So I am not commenting. It is however a shame that the owner did not post on here before pony was pts as she may have got some very experienced advice. End of the day pony is dead, no good mulling it over now.
 
Chavhorse said:
Paddy Monty posted a very touching story yesterday about his experieince with his much loved loan mare and the very hard decision he had to make for her.

I would like to tell my story which I also keep to myself (due to my total shame that I allowed it to happen as sadly I did not have the moral fibre to do as many of you have done and the OP of this thread has done).

I bought Challenger basically because I felt sorry for him, he was a wormy, skinny TB who was up for sale as his current owner could no longer afford him, I realise now I was a mug of the highest order.

Sadly it was the age old story of a horse being kept in bad condition to keep it well behaved, as Chal put on weight, muscle and condition the real story of his behavoral issues came out, his behavior of choice under saddle was to vertically rear and if that did not work spin and bolt. His behaviour on the ground was highly unpredictable and it got to the stage where the yard staff with the exception of the YO who had 20 years experience of training Trotters would refuse to go near him.

On the day the YO opened his stable to muck out and he turned and tried to double barrell him he finally said no more. He could not be kept with other horses as he was fiercely territorial and needed individual turnout, if you could get him out as it normally involved vertical rears and trying to bolt away from you in hand.

We had every check known to man, vet, teeth, back, physio, saddler, more professionals than I can name from my YO to a professional Dressage rider, to the local western trainer, all tried and all pronunced him totally unpredictable could be 100% fine then flip totally.

I meanwhile had some form of blind faith (or blind arrogance) and insisted on pushing on until the day he flat out panic bolted with me and I woke up with a nice man from the ambulance service kneeling next to me, a broken shoulder, fractured hip, broken knee, smashed ankle and a head injury that left me blind in one eye for a month.

At this point my Husband said "enough now". I had long discussions with my YO, vet and some of the people who had been involved with him and we all came to the decision to PTS was his best option. I then told people what we were intending and one kindly soul found someone who would take him on to "give him one last chance" the lady in question was an experienced horsewoman who was convinced that she could turn him around.

It is to my total shame that I allowed him to go to her, I can not explain why maybe I did not want the guilt of having this very beautiful and occasionally loving horse PTS, maybe my confidence had been knocked to the extent that I thought I was useless and my judgement and that of many others was floored, maybe I secretly hoped there would be a fairytale ending for him...god alone knows. But she bought him for a nominal price and off he went for his glorious last chance. Me I was free of the worry and started to work on healing my broken bones and gathering together my shattered confidence.

As for Challenger? Three weeks later he reared vertically in the school and fell over backwards along with the new owners Head Girl shattering her Pelvis and breaking both her legs, she will never get the chance to fulfill her ambitions of a competitive career. Chal was sold for his meat value and ended his days in an abbatoir in Belguim.

Do I feel guilty - 100% yes

Would I ever take the same course of action if I was ever faced with it again - No Way

Does the thought of what Chal went through in his final hours still haunt me 7 years later - yes every day!

Do I now wish I had had the balls to carry through my initial plan and end his days with a shot of sedalin, a bucket of feed and a painless injection....what do you think?
Click to expand...

Wow what a story! so sad :( TBH i would of done exactly the same as you in the hope he could of had a better life. If you asked me 2 days ago i would of said i would NEVER had a horse PTS unless it was in incurable physical pain....these 2 threads have changed my view on everything, people who clearly have 10 times more experiance than me have really opened my eyes to what you need to do in a situation like that, and stories like this will remain in the back of my memory forever. God forbid i ever end up in this kind of situation i think i could safely say i would make the same choice as many of you clearly have.

Very sorry for your loss OP, I hope Stacie reads this and understands your reasons and maybe you 2 could make peace at the yard. :)
 
Advice on what, JosieB? There is no advice to give, the owner has made a sensible decision to put the pony down. There is no need for us, the internet warriors to analyse it or justify it.
 
Exhausted, you have my condolences. You did the best thing for your pony.

Amymay, PaddyMonty, Chavhorse and anyone else who told their stories, you are brave. Not only to have gone through it, but then to share your stories with others. You all have 100% respect from me. :)

Due to these threads I've changed my opinion on PTS completely, and I would put my lad down today rather than let him suffer, or get past around. At the end of the day, we all love our ponies/horses and we've got to do the best we can for them. Surely that includes letting them go.
 
kaiko said:
I too read the "murder" post but declined to post. There are always two sides to the story and an owner is fully entitled to make whatever decision they deem is responsible and appropriate. Afterall they have to live with the animal and know the full extent of the issues. Nobody takes PTS lightly and to question somebody else's decision in such a public forum is both rude, arrogant and immature.

I rarely voice my anger at some of the pretentious and over opinionated cr@p that gets posted on here, especially when it’s in reference to “some lady at my yard “ type gossip. Hopefully a few lessons will be learnt and it can go back to being a useful and informative site.

My thoughts are with you Exhausted, rest assured you did right by your boy and you are a bigger woman than me to have handle such childish rubbish at a very emotional time with dignity and grace.

Sleep well little pony.
Click to expand...

^this^

the more experienced horse owners on this site will have learned by experience that there are some that cannot be fixed,or mended,or made happy enough to be a safe field ornament and that it is better to recognise the "end of the line" with regards to equine care before it is reached.
For both horse, and human.
 
Exhausted

I agree with the general consensus on here that it was unfortunate that you saw the other thread, but I hope that you can take from that thread and this one the knowledge that whilst you may not have had the support you needed at your yard during such a hard time, there are those on here who would willingly give you that now, I did comment on the other thread, and it was in support of you, stating that indeed there are two sides to every story and that no one purchases a horse and makes a decision to pts lightly, from your very emotive and well reasoned posts on here it is plain to see that you did make a considered, respectful, responsible and loving hard decision, and in my opinion the correct one.

My thoughts are with you and should you need to chat to anyone you are always welcome to pm me, I am sure that many others on here would offer the same
 
I had to put down a homebred youngster with neurological issues who would flip out and literally go psycho. When he snapped he had no regard for the safety of others,or for himself.

As I've said when I've posted about him before, I could have probably gotten away with selling him (as you may) but he would have ended PTS or passed around to unsuitable homes if I did. So I had to make the decision to euthanize a little horse with amazing bloodlines and conformation, in order to give him the best 'life' I could.

People slated me for it, but at the end of the day, he was my horse, and I did what I thought best - which as owners, we owe our animals.
 
At the end of the day, no one has the right to question an owner over the destruction of their animal - whatever the reason.
 
Queenbee said:
Exhausted

I agree with the general consensus on here that it was unfortunate that you saw the other thread, but I hope that you can take from that thread and this one the knowledge that whilst you may not have had the support you needed at your yard during such a hard time, there are those on here who would willingly give you that now, I did comment on the other thread, and it was in support of you, stating that indeed there are two sides to every story and that no one purchases a horse and makes a decision to pts lightly, from your very emotive and well reasoned posts on here it is plain to see that you did make a considered, respectful, responsible and loving hard decision, and in my opinion the correct one.
Click to expand...

This. My experience which is why I supported you in the original thread criticising you, is that all PTS decisons on livery yards end up with someone thinking it is the wrong thing to do, unless the horse actually breaks a leg/neck. What is very wrong (altho to my mind it isnt their business anyway) and quite bullying in a way, is to take a private disagreement and take it public on a forum.

Not all ponies can be fixed, not all issues are physical.

Horses dont think about tomorrow and regret it will never come, if PTS all they do is .....go to sleep.

There is nothing cruel in that, but a lot cruel in keyboard tappers deciding they know better about a horse they have never met.

Concentrate mud slingers on the thousands of unwanted horses and ponies in this country who dont have these issues but who are neglected, bored or just surplus to requirements and who end up on a meat wagon.

Not on flaming an owner who has expended massive amounts of time money love and care on a pony that in the end she could not remedy and had quietly PTS.
 
[QUOTE

There would have been someone out there who would have given the little pony a good kind calm home.[/QUOTE]


I was not going to post on here as what I was going to say has alrwady been said (several times)

but seeing this comment makes me mad, how can you guarantee that the pony would have gone to a good caring PERMINANT home?! The risk was just too high and if you have ever been to the sales, you will see it full of ponies/horses like this that will end up being passed from pillar to post because someone couldnt/wouldnt make the right decision by the horse. Its whats called 'passing the buck' and it may make the owner feel better if they no longer have the problem but it does not guarantee the horse a fair ending.
 
LIZ66 said:
I hope that the OP of the first thread (can't remember the name) is now hanging her head in shame :(
Click to expand...

I'd like to think that too.

Equilibrium Ireland said:
I don't know what's wrong with me but I've cried reading this thread where as the other thread made me angry.
Click to expand...

Me too. Oh. how I feel for Chav horse, the OP, Amymay and other brave stories! :(

JosieB said:
End of the day pony is dead, no good mulling it over now.
Click to expand...

So don't, please. Nasty posts like yours and a couple of others we can do without.



I did comment, quite a few times, on the previous thread. It was to take issue with the contentious title and the fact that I saw it as an attack on someone who wasn't here to defend themselves and events being told by someone who said themselves they didn't really know the pony's owner very well and was relying on yard gossip.

Exhausted, I'm so sorry for all you've been through. You did all you could for this lad, you went above and beyond to try to address his issues and you did the right thing by him in the end. To go through all that then see the rubbish spouted by a few here must have been dreadful.
 
JosieB said:
So who do you believe .. person who wrote other post obviously concerned or the owner, both posting different versions of events. Its easy to sit at a pc and write a fairy story, there are certainly plenty on here who do it and there are definately people who write wonderful advice on here but it has been proved do not do that in real life. So I am not commenting. It is however a shame that the owner did not post on here before pony was pts as she may have got some very experienced advice. End of the day pony is dead, no good mulling it over now.
Click to expand...

Rather Unessecary comment - infact dam right rude!!!


R.I.P poney
 
siennamum said:
I briefly read the other thread and have just skimmed through this one. I haven't a huge issue with an animal being PTS to avoid it being passed from hand to hand and an uncertain future. Fundamentally though this has become neccessary because you failed to turn him into a safe, useful pony.
Whether you failed because he was always loopy or because you haven't enough experience is impossible to tell. My gut feel from reading what you have written above is that you didn't have the experiene to take on a nervous pony and didn't ask for help when you should have done.

I might have missed the part where you called in an RA or similar, but that pony sounds like he could have benefitted from one. None of the things you have described are unusual or worrying. Our current 'breaker' would leap 5 ft in the air and shoot to the back of the stable and quiver if you touched him anywhere but on his nearside on his neck/shoulder, my most recent youngster would still like to kick the farriers teeth in (I just trim him myself now), I simply wouldn't entertain getting on a horse alone, & trotting it round a school without a lunge rein for the first time, it's standad practice to get babies used to having the stirrups down and moving against their sides before getting on, of course they might panic feeling something there.

Sorry to sound harsh, it's all academic now, the pony has been pts.
Click to expand...

Actually I agree and I did read most of the other thread and I am still reading this one. I did also comment on the last one too. I think the biggest lesson to be learned from all this is to think very LONG and HARD before you take on any rescue or an equine with issues. FWIW I know people with both academic qualifications with horses and also who have had horses a long time but I have still witnessed welfare issues and in some cases incorrect handling by these people.
 
ABC said:
Exhausted, you have my condolences. You did the best thing for your pony.

Amymay, PaddyMonty, Chavhorse and anyone else who told their stories, you are brave. Not only to have gone through it, but then to share your stories with others. You all have 100% respect from me. :)

Due to these threads I've changed my opinion on PTS completely, and I would put my lad down today rather than let him suffer, or get past around. At the end of the day, we all love our ponies/horses and we've got to do the best we can for them. Surely that includes letting them go.
Click to expand...

ABC, I find that post quite moving, the fact that after consideration you are prepared to admit that your opinion has changed, and if anything good comes of this whole episode it is to be hoped that more people realise what the reality actually is for many horses and ponies.

I can never grasp why anyone who has been involved with horses for a number of years is unable to see the pitfalls involved with a 'life at all costs' policy or rehoming unsuitable horses. It simply isn't fair on the animal and can have terrible consequences, which sadly some on here have had to witness.
 
amymay said:
At the end of the day, no one has the right to question an owner over the destruction of their animal - whatever the reason.
Click to expand...

I agree. I didn't read much of the thread, and only read the OP's first post on here, which clearly showed that the whole process, including the huge thread, had left her literally exhausted. So I think its quite bad manners of the people who are still raking over the embers on here. Let it go. The horse is dead and the owner is upset. We don't need a post mortem..
 
Exhausted,

I read 'that' post and did not comment. I have no right to judge someone as I had only heard one side of the story on a subject that was gossip.

Whatever the circumstances around the PTS and regardless of my opinion on the issue it was your choice and burden to bear, but from reading your explanation I think you have done the right thing for a pony who sounds like he doesnt want to be here. My thoughts are with you and I hope you pony can find peace now.

I think it is a huge shame you are on a yard where you were offered no support in the decision you made but only gossip on a forum, its a shame you had to see the post. It makes me feel very lucky on the yard I am at.
 
Exhausted - I am another who has read both posts, but declined to comment on the first due to the emotional and irrational.

You have my complete and utter sympathy, not that it is my place, or anyone elses to judge, it sounds as though you did the right thing. Not only for yourself and the pony, but for the sake of other people. You didn't palm him off onto someone else, for him to be passed around with an uncertain future, possibly/probably endangering himself and others, you looked after him as best you could, and made a mature and responsible decision.

If only there were more people like you around.

Best wishes and hugs. Keep strong.
 
OP I am so sorry that you had to put up with the rubbish posted on the other thread, I did read it but as it was written in a fairly hysterical style and only gave one side of the story, I did not comment. Sadly you read it too and felt the need to post a defence in the middle of the night, God alone knows how you are feeling and I take my hat off to you for being so reasoned and calm. Because of your calmness (I would be raging) in this situation, I can fully believe that you dealt with this pony in the same manner. You did what you could to give him a chance of a decent life, the fact is that some horses are too far gone to help and you did absolutely the right thing by him.

I have to say I am astounded at the three idiots (you know who you are) on this thread who have posted arrogant, stupid and heartless comments, I hope that you are never in the position the OP was in, I don't know which one of you is worse tbh but I do know that I would like to be standing right in front of you right now!
 
Exhausted, i am sorry you had to read the other thread at such a difficult and emotional time, i to felt we never had the full story, and made comment on this and the personal attack on you, i hope you feel a bit better after having now had your say at such an emotional time, fwiw, hearing your version of events confirms to me it was the fairest and best outcome for the pony.
My thoughts are with you ( hugs)
 
I hope you get some peace now. I think people need to be much slower to judge and much more willing to walk a few miles in the other persons' shoes on here.
 
You absolutely did the right thing. I read the thread yesterday an initially thought it was started by a jealous teenager, but reading your comments I see that you are of the same age and you're clearly someone who knows what you are doing.

Having the horse pts is far better than having a dead person or having the pony passed from pillar to post for the rest of it's life. I'm sure you could easily have sold it to a dodgy dealer for a nominal price but you have definitely done what any responsible owner would do. It's clear from your post that you are distraught at the decision and anyone will realise that if you were the evil owner you were made out to be you'd not be looking after and seeing your 26 year old Arab into his grand old age.

The horse world is full of know it alls, vindictive back stabbers, people who adhere to gossip and those who love to **** stir. It is a shame you have had to come on and justify yourself to a load of strangers.

I hope you can move on and enjoy your time with your Arab.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top