Responsibility, legalities....parental duty??

Tia

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I am not sure whether this post should be in here or in Soapbox, however here goes.

I had a hay customer. I delivered just a couple of truck loads of hay to her a few weeks ago - so only about 30 bales at a time and when I did this, I unloaded them in her enormous American Barn, where the horses live.

Anyway, last week she placed an order for 150 bales which I duly delivered. This time however, she asked for just 4 bales to be put in the American Barn and then rest she wanted in her garage about a quarter of a mile down her drive and at the house.

Okay, no probs so off I go and bring the truck and trailer down with the rest of the hay. Then she tells me that the stack cannot go out further than 4ft into the garage space as she needs to get her car in. The garage is only about 20ft in length.
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I start to stack the hay and it becomes apparent that I can only stack them 2 bales wide and with 150 bales that means going right to the top of the garage.....only 2 bales deep!
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I told her I was unhappy with leaving this stack in this manner.......then she told me that it was okay as her 11 year old daughter takes 4 bales up to the barn every day, so she would be the one going up there. I was
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......so of course me being me......blurted out that I was VERY unhappy with stacking to this height then! She looked at me like I was completely crazy. Was I?

Long and short of it was I refused to stack beyond 6ft high as I told her I was not going to be liable for any injury to her child should the VERY unstable stack fall down and crush the child. She huffed and puffed and then she climbed up there and squashed the bales in. I took my money and left in disgust.

Now to top it all off - when I first delivered she told me that she was going to Florida for 2 months (she left today) and did I know anyone who would come and look after her horses? I said yes I did. She asked if they would come and live-in, and I said yes she would. She then happened to mention to me that she was not taking her 11 year old child with her and that she had left her as a 10 year old last Spring when she went down there for 6 weeks.........


.......but she said it would be quite handy to have someone living there as the daughter was useless at getting all the horses done before she went to school. 10 years old!!
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She then told me that if I hadn't found her this person to live in, that she would just have to rely on the 11 year old to make sure that she looked after their 10 horses.....all stabled at night.

The finale of the story is......I have made it quite clear that I will not deliver there again. Funny thing is....she only came to me as her previous supplier had refused to continue supplying her.......she didn't understand why
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Am I crazy? Or is this seriously NOT right??
 
uur... no i dont think it si right - is this 11 year old girl cooking for herself and living on her own for those 6 weeks!? and quite right of you to have refused to go there again and well done for not causing a danger!
she wanders why the last poeple left her!
 
Yes the little girl still has to do all her own cooking and cleaning and washing.....even with the person staying there
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. The person has been directed to "make sure child remembers to eat".
 
OMG!!! i am only 13, but i know i would not like to bve left in her situation!! and i am 2 years older than her!!
call someone, or go and talk to her and get her to call child line!
 
I checked the Laws as I really was quite upset about it all. The Law states that any child can be left alone for indefinite periods of time.....providing they are capable of caring for themselves.....
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The Law states that any child can be left alone for indefinite periods of time.....providing they are capable of caring for themselves.....
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OMG! tbh, i think that needs to be changed, so if a parent thought that say, a 6 year old could cook/clean/wash then he/she could be left alone?! that is rediculous! im sure thios child cant cook a proper meal...can she?
x
 
There is.....but the problem is the Law and how it is interpreted.

The lady in question is VERY wealthy and her daughter lives in a beautiful house in a beautiful area......she obviously has food and I can't see that they would be able to do anything.
 
I am presuming the father is in Florida.....as that is where she moved from. Different country, different laws....
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That is horrible. Poor child.
Is there an animal law that will protect the horses, surely they can't be getting the care they need for the daughter with school and everything?
I wouldn't be happy about a stranger living in the house with my 11 yr old daughter!
 
It is disgusting in my opinion too. You know though, I ran it by some people over here and they also didn't seem to see a problem. They said that it was okay to leave children of this age as they were usually quite able to semi-run the farms......well that is true, as I know fine well my 10 year old could....however I wouldn't leave her doing it and living here alone!
 
They are all really nice racehorses and no our regulations over here are FAR more lax than anything you would see in the UK.
 
Accepting some responsibility is one thing...it's part of growing up after all, but for a child to be left alone,and with FULL responsibility for that length of time is something that I personally find unacceptable!

Bethxx
 
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totally stunned, although I learned about the legal limit for a child to be alone fairly fast here. A neighbours 10 year old daughter babysits a 5 and a 7 year old every night after school until both sets of parents come home way after dark. Several times they've come here because of power cuts or being locked out etc, it does seem strange to me. I think the legal minimum age is 12 in the UK.

I could certainly never leave a child of 11 ALONE over night, I think, Tia, that she is fortunate that you have got this housesitter for them. Poor child, she might be a capable 11 year old, but still, JUST 11, I am totally aghast at what could happen. My daughter too, could do the animals, feed herself (no way would she get up for school, mind) and is CAPABLE of caring for herself but she'd be petrified to be alone all night. I could never bring myself to leave her alone overnight either, not at that age.
 
A neighbour where I used to live would leave her 12 year old son (who had cerebal palsy) to look after her other kids (age 10 and 5) whilst she went abroad. The other kids would lock him out in the back garden without his wheelchair...in the rain....whilst they had parties.
Oh,and the police didnt want to know.

So yes, i can beleive it, some parents need their reproductive organs removing
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Wow, that is pretty astonishing, even given that they seem to do things a bit differently over here. How does the child get to places, buy things etc? Wow, really dumbfounded by this one!
 
Tia, I have just done a duty of care child protection course. The lady taking the course said that a good yardstick as to whether or not to take any action in the kind of circumstances you have described is to picture the child in a coffin & then ask yourself if you could have done anything to prevent the tragedy. If the answer is 'Yes' then you are justified in making a report to the appropriate authorities for them to investigate more fully.
 
This is just horrid to read about - that poor girl.
But legal rights aside, and the fact that we can all see how disgusting it would be to leave a child so young alone in spite of how wonderfully she can look after herself, doesn't the mother have any feelings for her? I know if I had a child I wouldn't want to leave them alone with a stranger or worse still on their own for a night nevermind over a month! As someone who will need IVF if not a miracle to have children I get so angry when people don't look after the ones they been lucky enough to be blessed with. I could go on and on about this subject so will stop here. At least you have tried to do something in getting the sitter.
 
Bloomin' 'eck!
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Maybe that is the done thing in Canada, but I would never leave my 10 year old to look after his/herself, never mind a bunch of racehorses too!

Does this woman really even want to be a mother?
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