Riding mid life crisis - long but pls read & advise...!

[Barlow]

t will obviously make a difference to what horse I buy whether I just want a totally safe hack to potter on or whether I want something athletic. And obviously I shouldn't go horse hunting until I've made my mind up as I will be a time waster, but I don't know how I can predict what I'll want to do with the horse... Gaaaaaaaahhh...! Ridingwise, all I am doing atm is 20 minutes in the school in walk with Trev as he is my only rideable & that's all he wants to do. I can't not ride.

This was the bit of your post that stood out to me. If I were you I’d use this “downtime” as an opportunity to explore what else is out there. I’d go and try things I’d never done and I’d go and ride things I wouldn’t ordinarily ride. You could try a “have a go at polo” day, go hunting on a hireling, hack/trek in some interesting countryside/beach etc, have lessons on a warmblood schoolmaster, lessons on an Iberian schoolmaster, horseback archery, side saddle, western etc. Keep going until you find something that really grabs you! You will find the spark and the bug again, but possibly in a different and unexpected way. I kept trying different things until something inside screamed YES - and for me that was Lusitanos.
I like the small and friendly Iberian community, as much or as little pressure around competing as you want and I would never want to ride anything but a Lusitano ever again! But these things are deeply personal and what floats my boat won’t float yours but one of the best ways of finding out what will do it for you is try as many different things as possible until you find that spark again!

 

[catembi]

That's really interesting! I went to watch a friend doing Western, which is totally different from anything I've done before. I have also (briefly!) considered side saddle and the lower levels of endurance. I don't think you *have* to be ultra competitive at endurance, and you are riding all the time that you're 'competing' rather than hanging around for ages to do your 2 minute round or 5 minute test.

I am not sure whether my recent experiences have just put a dent in my confidence that can easily be pulled out. For example, the QHxTB went super explosive due to the PSSM, but I didn't know at the time that he was cramping up, & was trying to ride him through it, & couldn't understand why nothing I was trying would work. There was a total disconnect between what I was doing & the end result, & it's an awful feeling being sat on something that's trying to turn itself inside out when you don't know WHY ans can't stop it. So maybe a few months on a 'normal' horse would fix it...

Lots of ideas to try, thank you!

 

[Gloi]

I'm in my sixties now but in my thirties after previously showing natives I discovered gaited horses. I've had a standardbred, several Icelandics and now have a Welsh D X Icy. They are always interesting to ride and with something new for the rider to learn and all mine have been really level headed. I've not been too well these past couple of years and being able to ride out in a smooth four beat gait has been much appreciated. Very much a niche thing here but much recommended ?

 

[DirectorFury]

Reading all the replies, I am still seeing both sides! Do I 'retire' to hacking for a bit, then start doing a few lessons & clinics & see how it grabs me? On the one hand, it's lovely not having to stress about tests, plaiting, getting to comps on time, remembering courses (I have Aspergers & have a very, very hard time remembering courses & tests & also getting organised & out on time), but on the other, I really like learning stuff & pushing boundaries... And I don't like 'wasting' my lorry & arena.

You can still learn stuff and push boundaries without the hassle of competing - clinics, arena hires, just getting out and about without all the hassle of being super organised!

I vote Welsh D as they’re fabulous horses, if you want a taller one that jumps then try Maesmynach lines, if you’re happy with smaller then some of the Hillgarth lines have a hell of a jump. You do need to have a sense of humour with them though!

 

[catembi]

Honest question - are the D's spooky? I really can't be doing with spooky. I had it in mind that they can be spooky and also can be stoppers but I don't have any particular evidence to support this & would be happy to be told that I am wrong.

A lot of family is in mid Wales & I think that some of them breed D's. I will enquire further... In fact I will ask my aunt right now

 

[SpeedyPony]

Not necessarily spooky, but generally pretty sharp. If you get them onside they'll be the best horses you could ask for, give you everything they've got and more, but they're very opinionated and will make their views clear ?
I love a Welshie, they're generally hot, intelligent and strong willed. Those traits all cut both ways, it really depends on your own personality!

 

[Muddywellies]

Not necessarily spooky, but generally pretty sharp. If you get them onside they'll be the best horses you could ask for, give you everything they've got and more, but they're very opinionated and will make their views clear ?
I love a Welshie, they're generally hot, intelligent and strong willed. Those traits all cut both ways, it really depends on your own personality!

This totally. Whilst they are usually pretty tough (though mine isn't), they make fabulous all rounders, if you don't mind a bit of, erm, 'excitement'. I love mine, but looking for a quieter life, next time I may give Sec Ds a swerve.

 

[Littlewills]

I would buy whatever horse I enjoyed riding that tested clear of PSSM as well as showing no symptoms. I wouldn't touch anything TB or warmblood, as testing seems to indicate incidences of PSSM are as high as 50% in those breeds. I'd also avoid welsh and dales as they seem to come up and awful lot on the PSSM groups.

I honestly dont know if I will ever buy another horse. I dont want to go through the PSSM stuff ever again and its not even 100% if you do test, so I'm not sure what the answer is for that, never mind the other stuff!

 

[chaps89]

Welsh are an acquired taste. You will either love them or hate them, they're quite marmite.
I love them but I don't miss the drama! It would not be uncommon for my old boy to refuse to go forwards, only backwards. So I'd turn him 180, back him up until he decided forwards was ok again. Or my old share who would be caught most but not all of the time.

I'm not a competitive person at all, I hate it.
But I'm still very 'active' with mine, we have a lesson a couple of times a month, box out to hack (admittedly by necessity but it's something I like to do), we do clinics and have a go days. We progressed from incapable of a walk and trot test to Novice and working on flying changes (before she broke last year and I've not managed to get her back 100% since) and she is plenty capable of jumping (just not really my cup of tea)
She's a go anywhere do anything kind, I can pop her on the box on my own and go out and about or hack her bareback down an A road and know I won't die, that's why I love her.
With someone more competitive or keen on jumping I'm sure she'd happily be a nice, and competitive, pc/rc type.

The only competitive thing I do enjoy is endurance riding. I'm gutted mine is never fit or sound enough to do beyond 10km but for me I could be competitive without anyone watching, plan my route, prep, set my own goals, and I loved it.
When I contacted my local egb group they were really helpful and also able to out me in touch with a lady who wanted a hand with her horses - who, having always been competitive with Arabs, found herself bringing up her companion cob and doing rather well with her.

Definitley worth exploring other options but I would say buy for right now, have fun and not aiming for BS or BD doesn't mean you don't use your arena or lorry!

 

[DirectorFury]

Mine isn’t spooky, if she does spook she just does that thing where they drop about 3ft on the spot and sometimes will strike out at the scary thing for good measure .
Mine can also have a nasty stop if you don’t ride her into a fence or get ahead of the movement, but that’s more down to my failings as a rider/trainer than something reflective of the breed! Realistically mine + the one I had on loan have both been pretty saintly despite both being barely backed, though I think that’s more luck than anything else.

LW I’ve never seen anything about a Welsh with PSSM, do you remember any of the lines that they came from?

Catembi - did your TB ever have X-rays of C6/C7/first rib?

 

[SpeedyPony]

Will also add, in re spookyiness, from my experience they tend to be lovely and bold investigating things but also very prepared to get the heck out of there pdq should it turn out to be scary. Curious and bold is a good combination for training "bombproof" though, if you have time, a decent seat and a sense of humour!

 

[Dontforgetaboutme]

I have 2 welsh ds & both can spook but neither escalate from there. If you are near me you’d be welcome to come & have a play on my younger one. Speedypony has them pegged!

 

[catembi]

If I ever find something I like and it passes the vet, I will get it in writing that I will do the DNA test for types 1 and 2 & return if it fails. Or see if I can do prepurchase & post 5 stage. I cannot be doing this again. I've been through it with Adrian & that was back in the day before it was a 'thing' so it took a looooooong while to get there, then with Cody & then with my little mare Tiffany, who was showing the *exact* same traits as Adrian, which set off the warning bells. It is heartbreaking to have a really good horse who is only going to go one way. As Cody has so many variants he is not going to make old bones & it is awful as he had such a good temperament & was so athletic. :-(

 

[Jellymoon]

Gosh, your experiences are very similar to mine, I had a horse of a lifetime in my mid-twenties who died too soon and although I tried with several after that, I’ve never got back to the dizzy heights I reached with him. I had a succession of nice young event bred horses who never really made it for various reasons.
I’m now nearly 50 and have discovered Connemaras! Fab, safe, athletic ponies, low maintenance, tough and sound. Plenty of scope. I’ll probably go against the grain here and say look for a nice young model to bring on and I would say Disc/Newc would be well within your reach in a few years. The nice thing about a young one is you don’t have to jump too high too soon, and you can build confidence together.

 

[Madali]

I own two Maesmynach mares who are both 16.1hh both very talented but not for the faint hearted
I evented one up to BE Novice but as I advance in age i don’t want to do it anymore.
Don’t beat yourself up. Just because we did it before doesn’t mean we have to do it again.
It is supposed to be fun. if I jump 90cm‘s these days I think I’m brave.

I hope you find a nice sort and enjoy it again.

 

[shortstuff99]

My answer to these posts is to always go for the iberian horse ?. Unless you want to focus on the jumping then I would look for something aged 10-12 that has shown they are sound for the work. Whatever you decide to choose good luck!

ETA or a good cob!

 

[Boulty]

Most horses should be able to cope with low level competition fairly easily (there's plenty of supercobs doing BE events & if you get a judge willing to look for correctness rather than flashyness natives can go pretty far up the levels in dressage as well) so even if you don't go for a super sporty bred to be a SJ type I wouldn't say that you'd need to stick to "just" hacking & well there's more the competing than BSJA / BE / BD (eg Endurance, Working Equitation, Horse Agility, Polocrosse, Horseball, TREC, Barrel Racing, Archery to name a few) so plenty of other disciplines to explore each with their own challenges if you still wanted to compete but with a bit less pressure. I guess maybe sit down & have a think about what "type" of horse you most enjoy riding & start your search there. There's nothing wrong with buying something with the potential to go up the levels SJ if that's the sort of horse you most enjoy riding but just hacking for a while whilst you think about whether that's what you'd like to do (& if you never DO end up getting "back out there" then so what? As long as the horse is happy & enjoying life & you're enjoying the horse that's what counts!)

If you are thinking something ponyish then something like one of the sportier Connies or Welshies may do the job as they can be fairly athletic when they want to be & both breeds tend to be able to turn their hoof to pretty much anything with the correct training (My Welsh Idiot could overtake half the sodding hunt field when the mood took him, was a VERY handy TREC pony, could have been a half decent polocrosse pony had I wanted to continue past the one taster session we did, would probably have done ok in Endurance if I'd been that way inclined, was schooled to a way higher level than my own level of dressage competence (& in the right hands could absolutely have been out doing very well BD) & would in theory have been capable of doing some BE & BSJA were his jockey not an incompetent idiot / had I invested a heck of a lot in lessons to get us to a point where he didn't stop to inspect every fence before he jumped it & my lower leg did as it was told!) Having said that I HAVE taken a step down in terms of sportiness but Ferg is my first youngster so I thought it was wise to select for temperament rather than flashiness in the hopes of less dramatic temper tantrums & having half a chance of sitting to any silliness! (Also if I want to get any further in TREC it may be advantageous to have a pony that doesn't spook sideways every 10th stride of so when I'm trying to judge distances!)

 

[Elf On A Shelf]

Bugger it! Find yourself an up to height Shetland and then you only need to worry about your fencing ???

 

[Micropony]

Agree with others that a Welsh D or a Welsh D x TB, say, would sound like a good bet. Or a Connie or Connie x. If you weren't so keen on SJ to a decent level I would suggest you could consider something Iberian, but I think as there aren't so many of them around it's not as easy to find a good one, and IME the ones bred in Spain sometimes struggle with the way we want to manage them in the UK.
A WB isn't a stupid idea, but you have to shop carefully. There's a lot of rubbish around, and a lot that have been bred as professional rides but aren't quite good enough so hit the amateur market as semi nutcases without the talent or the movement. But if you get one with a good temperament that's nicely put together they can be absolutely super (mine's not for sale though!). For good temperament, I think SJ lines are more fertile hunting ground than dressage lines.
But I keep coming back to Welsh Ds. My experience of them isn't vast, but my friend has an absolute cracker. She got him when she had lost her confidence on unsuitable WBs and he was perfect. Now she's got her confidence back, he's got all the ability to take her to the next level. He can spook, and does like a bit of argy bargy, but it's nothing like my WBs have been capable of if they've really taken exception to something or haven't had enough work. He can be what she describes as "sharp", but I don't recognise his "sharp" behaviour as the same kettle of fish as what I have seen and sat on with the hotter blooded more naturally athletic breeds. She's never come off him. If you want to compete seriously at Medium BD and up, or higher level BS, you'd have to be lucky to find one that was able for it, but that still leaves quite a lot of scope eh?
I really hope you find something that excites you and floats your boat, and stays sound!

 

[palo1]

Honest question - are the D's spooky? I really can't be doing with spooky. I had it in mind that they can be spooky and also can be stoppers but I don't have any particular evidence to support this & would be happy to be told that I am wrong.

A lot of family is in mid Wales & I think that some of them breed D's. I will enquire further... In fact I will ask my aunt right now

I have a lovely young Maesmynach Welsh D and am a member of the Maesmynach 'owners club' (there is such a thing!!). My young mare is not 'spooky' or 'silly' at all - she has been entirely straightforward to do with the caveat that as Welshies generally can be sensitive, sharp and quick learners you would not want a complete novice to take one on as a starter. But you are far from a novice!! As a 4 year old that I have produced on my own my Welsh D has proved a quick and eager learner, really 'fun' to ride (so lively - certainly not a kick-along) and has coped entirely intelligently with every new experience. I feel like we may be able to achieve more than I anticipated tbh. She has a wonderful walk and canter which is interesting and potentially signals that more challenging flat work may be possible.

She is also extraordinarily cheap and easy to keep; no sensitivities (well only to amounts of food lol), great feet, suprisingly athletic and I feel as safe as houses with her. My other horse (and several of our horses) are Arab x and I also like to ride (but not keep) a tb. My Welsh is different to both of those but her intelligence matches the Arab types and she somehow feels very 'versatile' albeit at not an Advanced level. I don't think we will reach dizzy heights (advanced dressage, 1.20 jumping or beyond novice eventing) but you never know and I do feel very confident that we could do quite 'normal' sorts of competing if I put the work in; dressage at Ele would be as much as I would want to do as would BE100 (if I had the finances which I probably don't!!). She is 15'3 and reminds me more of Iberian types that I have ridden in the past but is more 'rugged'. There is plenty of 'heat' and 'temperament' there but in a very amiable pony kind of way. The other Maesmynach Welsh D owners that I know personally have similar experiences; there are many competing in dressage and eventing quite happily as well as hunting. I would have loved a Spaniard in some ways but I was sold on the completely Welsh charm (not that Iberians don't have plenty of that!!) and I wanted something that was not 'specialist' in any way - been there done that!!

The only question mark I have over my Welshie at this point is that, in comparison to the blood horses we are used to, she is terribly, almost laughably slow in terms of speed!! She is only 4, has never been asked to gallop yet and there is plenty of time for her to speed up but I do find it a bit 'odd' tbh. I don't need a particularly fast horse though so that is pretty immaterial to me. Something that I have noticed about Welsh Ds though is that people either love them and 'get' them or they don't so you may find yourself in one or other camp. I would love another one now...!!

 

[Domirati]

Just wanted to say sorry for all you have been through and that I hope you find what you want. You were so helpful to me when my daughter’s pony was diagnosed back in 2012. You have had rotten luck and are justifiably nervous about buying another one. I will keep my fingers crossed that you find what you want and start to have fun again.

 

[maya2008]

Could you find something where you can lwvtb and have time to get a full pssm test back before committing? Both of my most recent purchases were tested negative for type 1 by the breeder, definitely helped! Older horses (8-10yo) also are more likely to have shown up any issues e.g. pssm or juvenile arthritis ... I find sweet itch manageable so accepting one with the itch to lower the price of a more mature horse might help?

I have to say though that my gorgeous pssm girl who is symptomatic as anything and costs a fortune in time and money to manage...is worth her weight in gold for my daughter. I literally could spend thousands and not find anything even close to as perfect as her. She would no longer comfortably compete for an adult though.

I want an Arab next...I hope you find something that really makes you happy, and stays sound and healthy!

 

[ihatework]

I’m a fan of Welsh, particularly part breds. I’ve had a Welsh x Tb and a Welsh x AA and both have been good honest jumpers with sufficient scope for most upper end amateurs, both were easy people and not excessive sharp or spooky. The former moved well enough to be competitive in the dressage arena too, the latter was a bit buzzier and not quite so suited to dancing.

That said I don’t think you should be going out to buy a specific breed. You need to buy something that is proving it’s consistently doing the job you decide you want to do. Don’t be gambling on the cheap youngsters for a bit. Invest in getting your mojo back

 

[sollimum]

Look into your local endurance/long distance riding group - if you enjoy your hacking - you could have a go at competitive long distance riding? Our local riding club has something for everyone too. I know you will not want another NF but have you considered another larger one - as you know they have worked hard to breed out PSSM or maybe a native x.

Oops - edited to see that you have already considered endurance. You do not have to be competitive, to take part and it is very therapeutic (a bit like running) as your are just concentrating on you and your horse. Any horse can compete at the lower levels - I have on my irish cob and we have been to some amazing places together - Exmoor, Wales, Norfolk, New Forest etc - really quite magical.

 

[AmyMay]

I‘ve seen a little horse for sale that might fit the bill. Drop me a pm if you’d like more info

 

[Nudibranch]

You can join Endurance GB and your local club as a supporter for free. You can see what's going on, and also take part in the rides non competitively to get a feel for it.

 

[MidChristmasCrisis]

I’m feeling for you catembi...I think..take the pressure off yourself...sleep on it...enjoy Xmas..mooch through ads without pressured focus and perhaps the right horsey partner will emerge. Nip outside now and do some “cosmic ordering” for your next pal...stop trying so hard/being so focused ( you are very focused) and maybe this time next year....

Actually opposite my stable is a lovely bay mare rising 6..was advertised in H&H a month or so ago...nice personality,,lovely paces but nothing done with her for 12 months. Owner is based Shropshire but she was loaned to Scotland...if I was 10 years younger I would ve bought her. She needs teaching to jump ....see how you feel in the new year...

 

[chaps89]

Been thinking about this and think an older (not ancient but maybe 8+?) Horse in work and doing the job you'd like to do/similar to might be a good shout - any niggles should have come out by that age and if they're fit and in a good level of work when you buy then you know they're standing up to it and ready to go.

 

[gallopingby]

Any of the large breed M&Ms would do a variety of jobs. Your biggest problem would be finding one that has already ticked some boxes- the good ones rarely come on the market. All have performance awards so you could give lots of different activities a go or specialise in dressage / WHP / hunting etc. As you’re not very tall or heavy you won’t have to worry about looking big! Expect to pay around 10k for a proven one with miles on the clock. Prices do vary a bit between the breeds but the day of a £2000 ridden M&M without quirks has thankfully passed. Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[catembi]

Thank you for all the suggestions & support. I am now feeling more positive about the whole thing. The odd thing is, when I've been having a good ponder & decide I'm too old for BS nerves, hanging about, surviving the warm-up, that it's far more sensible just to go out pottering round the countryside... if I see a course of jumps, my instinctive reaction (before I have time to think) is, ohhhh, I want to do that! And someone has just sent me a link to a good horse, and the videos showed her being ridden by a good rider, & I thought, wheeeeee, I could do that! So my thinking brain & my instinctive brain are out of whack...