katymay
Well-Known Member
I was really beginning to see a difference in my confidence last week, happy hacking alone, schooling and even popping a little jump, basically despite a recent PIPD diagnosis I was determined to keep him fitter and the weight off.
Then I had the sad news that a very dear friend had died suddenly, only 49 just coming to terms with that when my OH uncle died from cancer on Sunday, happy release for him but still a shock, Monday I came home from the school run to find OH home from work sat me down and told me our work colleague had died on his stag do over the weekend spent the day in a daze, popped up the paddock to do the ponies in the evening and took the two dogs, one of which is a 14 week old puppy, puppy is very aware of ponies and he always stays very close to me, he was sat by me when I opened the track for Jester to come through, next thing I know he had run off with Jester in hot persuit who was attempting to get to the new grass as fast as possible, right in front of my eyes Jester ran straight over puppy who was now lying motionless on the track, ran straight to him, he had a nasty cut to his head and couldn't get up, I picked him up as gently as I could and moved him to safety, called OH who came straight down and we rushed him to the vet, it was touch and go the first night but thank goodness he made it, xrays revealed a broken growth plate on his back leg so we transferred him to another vet an hour away for his op today, I'm pleased to say he is on his way home I keep getting hideous flashbacks and the guilt is eating me up, it's totally my fault, I couldn't go to the paddock the next morning so asked OH to do the duties, and he accompanied me that evening as I was petrified. Once I knew Cookie was ok I knew I had to get back riding again and planned to go with a friend today, so many times I wanted to cancel and was shaking with fear when she arrived, luckily she is one of those just get on and do it types which was just what I needed and although Jester was full of it we had a good ride.
I know this is probably a totally pointless post but I needed to get it off my chest so thank you for reading.
And please I know I was irresponsible and it's totally my fault I am beating myself up about it every second so please please don't make me feel any worse than I already do ( impossible anyway)
Then I had the sad news that a very dear friend had died suddenly, only 49 just coming to terms with that when my OH uncle died from cancer on Sunday, happy release for him but still a shock, Monday I came home from the school run to find OH home from work sat me down and told me our work colleague had died on his stag do over the weekend spent the day in a daze, popped up the paddock to do the ponies in the evening and took the two dogs, one of which is a 14 week old puppy, puppy is very aware of ponies and he always stays very close to me, he was sat by me when I opened the track for Jester to come through, next thing I know he had run off with Jester in hot persuit who was attempting to get to the new grass as fast as possible, right in front of my eyes Jester ran straight over puppy who was now lying motionless on the track, ran straight to him, he had a nasty cut to his head and couldn't get up, I picked him up as gently as I could and moved him to safety, called OH who came straight down and we rushed him to the vet, it was touch and go the first night but thank goodness he made it, xrays revealed a broken growth plate on his back leg so we transferred him to another vet an hour away for his op today, I'm pleased to say he is on his way home I keep getting hideous flashbacks and the guilt is eating me up, it's totally my fault, I couldn't go to the paddock the next morning so asked OH to do the duties, and he accompanied me that evening as I was petrified. Once I knew Cookie was ok I knew I had to get back riding again and planned to go with a friend today, so many times I wanted to cancel and was shaking with fear when she arrived, luckily she is one of those just get on and do it types which was just what I needed and although Jester was full of it we had a good ride.
I know this is probably a totally pointless post but I needed to get it off my chest so thank you for reading.
And please I know I was irresponsible and it's totally my fault I am beating myself up about it every second so please please don't make me feel any worse than I already do ( impossible anyway)