Sad day considering hanging up my boots!

[Finlib]

No point to this post but need to think about this.
My sister in her early 70's last weekend has been killed in a fall from her horse out hacking catastrophic head injuries falling on the road. Last year my best friend early ,60's took a massive fall out hacking horse fell on her on the road broke her back in 3 places now paraplegic in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.Mega change to her life.
I am 71 I don't ride much in the winter usually turn the horses away unrugged and bring them back into work in the spring .In the summer I mostly work in our out door school odd little hack out but I am now seriously thinking of calling it a day
Got 3 horses at home one 21 one 23 one 17. All between 14.3 and 15.2.
I Do work from the ground free schooling and lining but after this news I am seriously thinking of not getting back on board .I don't miss riding in the winter and enjoy free work and ground work.
I enjoy looking after them and would never want not to have them but maybe it's time to give up riding.
I have always said that now I wouldn't replace any of them when I loose any of them and if I get down to one would take a small pony from one of the big charities as a companion for the remaining one.
Just don't seem to have the heart for it any more
Sad day but maybe it's time to retire from riding.
Just needed to think it out and writing it down makes it more real.

 

[Barton Bounty]

Im so sorry to hear your news you need to do what you feel is best for you. Only give up if you really want to, not through fear

 

[Highmileagecob]

Tragic. Only do what you feel comfortable doing. Road work these days is a total nightmare - much different to twenty years ago. Do you have any off road areas to exercise? And preferably not alone?

 

[Sandstone1]

I am so sorry about your sister.

 

[Cowpony]

So sorry to hear this - how dreadful! Give yourself time. Do what you feel is right for you, but don't make any hasty decisions - now isn't the right time to decide anything.

 

[Maxidoodle]

So very sorry to hear about sister and also your best friend. Do you need to make a decision? If you enjoy doing groundwork and pottering with your horses, I would do just that. If you at some point feel like hopping on, then do so, if you don’t, then just carry on as you are. I can understand why you are questioning riding but making that decision, might just make things too final. I’ve just turned 50, my health isn’t particularly good and I have 4 ranging from 13yrs to 33yrs, once they go, we’ve agreed no more. For me, I would say just enjoy your horses, they will be very happy just being loved and looked after.

 

[Tiddlypom]

I'm so very sad to hear about your sister , what an awful thing to happen. And about your friend.

It's quite possible to enjoy the company of horses without riding them. Don't put yourself under any pressure to ride again.

Riding on the roads is so dangerous nowadays, it's horrible no matter how steady the neddy.

I'm not replacing any of my 3 either, but I have recently discovered a new avenue in accompanied off roads trekking/trail riding on good steady horses. Something maybe to think about as a possibility for the future? But there's nothing wrong with hanging up your boots altogether.

Thinking of you. Take care.

 

[Backtoblack]

Sorry to hear about your sister and friend, there is no right or wrong decision regarding riding, it's perfectly understandable that you are thinking of calling it a day. I wouldn't put any pressure on yourself, I think carrying on doing ground work is great and if you decide to get back on board sometime in the coming months then that's ok but if you don't then that's ok too. XX

 

[Reacher]

As others have said, am very sorry about your sister and friend.
It is a risk sport, I’m probably lucky to have had very few injuries (one concussion with a few minutes memory loss being the worst).
Unfortunately we all get to a point when we need to make that decision.
Give yourself time, no need to decide anything now.

 

[splashgirl45]

So sorry to hear about your sister and I completely understand how you feel. I had a freak fall on the road in January 2022 and I thought I had just fallen flat on my back but my head hit the ground and I got a bleed on the brain. I was 75 and taking blood thinners, I didn’t realise how serious it was but the hospital doctor told me if I hadn’t gone to A&E that evening I may not have woken up in the morning as they had quite a bit of trouble stopping the bleed..I was in hospital for 20 days and after talking to my family I decided I had to give up . I really miss it. Luckily you have horses that you can do things with so I would say do what you feel comfortable with and enjoy them. I haven’t had a horse of my own for a while and was hacking someone else’s horse so I don’t have that horsey fix at all ..

 

[Clodagh]

I’m so sorry.
Your horses won’t mind being field ornaments, they have no ambition, just take it day by day.

 

[Kunoichi73]

So sorry to hear about your sister and friend. Our hobbies are meant to be enjoyable, if they're causing worry and stress, there's nothing wrong with giving up.

 

[Annagain]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I totally understand why you feel the way you do. You don't need to make a decision now though or rather there's no need for any decision you make to be a final one if you're feeling the pressure of making that decision. If, one day in the summer you fancy it, there's no reason why you couldn't hop on again as long as you take things slowly. Do what's right for you now and if that changes in a few months do what's right for you then.

 

[Midlifecrisis]

I am sorry for your loss of your sister and it’s certainly food for thought as we grow older.

 

[J&S]

I am so sorry for your loss of your sister, you must be feeling in total shock. I cannot blame you at all for not wanting to risk your own life/health by riding your horses. I keep two at home and like you enjoy ground work but don't ride, (am full time carer for my partner so need to stay up and running!) as long as my equines look well and happy and respond to my requests I feel satisfied. Like you, am in my 70's so have had a life time of riding fun and lucky escapes. No need to push the envelope!

 

[Poppy+MrDarcy]

I'm sorry about your sister and your friend, I would say it's better safe then sorry, it's nicer to be able to see your horses, even if not riding them, then to ride them and to never see them again Xx but it's your decision, and only do what feels right for you

 

[Equi]

Im so sorry to hear about your sister and your friend. Horses don't care if they get ridden or not, as long as they are stimulated in other ways. If you decide not to ride them again, don't let it make you feel guilty. Having a safe and happy home is much more important than being ridden.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I am so sorry for your losses. Your sister's unexpected death is bound to be a massive shock, it is not surprising that you feel that you should stop riding. You may feel differently on a nice summer day when some time has passed. For me, it would depend on the circumstances of your sister's accident and how good your horses are on the road. I haven't ridden since I broke my leg in 2020, in part because of a couple of health issues that were discovered at the time and in part because I have a green cob. If my fabulous traffic-stopping giant of a Westphalian Kaltblut had still been with us I'm sure I would have been back on board long ago, because she was so trustworthy.
Just take your time and remember your decision doesn't have to be set in stone.

 

[Red-1]

I am sorry to hear about your sister and friend. I think it is very understandable to wonder if you should give up.

I agree with others that there is no need for a decision as such. If you don't want to ride, then don't. But, if one summer evening you fancy climbing on board, then that is OK too. I don't think the horses will mind one way or another.

 

[Birker2020]

No point to this post but need to think about this.
My sister in her early 70's last weekend has been killed in a fall from her horse out hacking catastrophic head injuries falling on the road. Last year my best friend early ,60's took a massive fall out hacking horse fell on her on the road broke her back in 3 places now paraplegic in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.Mega change to her life.
I am 71 I don't ride much in the winter usually turn the horses away unrugged and bring them back into work in the spring .In the summer I mostly work in our out door school odd little hack out but I am now seriously thinking of calling it a day
Got 3 horses at home one 21 one 23 one 17. All between 14.3 and 15.2.
I Do work from the ground free schooling and lining but after this news I am seriously thinking of not getting back on board .I don't miss riding in the winter and enjoy free work and ground work.
I enjoy looking after them and would never want not to have them but maybe it's time to give up riding.
I have always said that now I wouldn't replace any of them when I loose any of them and if I get down to one would take a small pony from one of the big charities as a companion for the remaining one.
Just don't seem to have the heart for it any more
Sad day but maybe it's time to retire from riding.
Just needed to think it out and writing it down makes it more real.

I'm so sorry. You can mitigate risk to a degree by only riding in good weather,, i.e not slippy, or very windy, and wearing an air jacket and good hard hat. But as you've had the terribly sad experiences with your friend and sister you will appreciate you can't prevent a fall 100%.

You have to decide whether to stop riding or only ride very occasionally to cut that risk further.

So sorry for your loss x

 

[OrangeAndLemon]

I'm so sorry for what you've gone through.

I think there's no harm in taking some time away from riding and seeing how you feel. The horses won't mind. My advice would be to avoid making decisions while grieving. Take your time, be kind to yourself.

Life is very, very short and you have to make the best of it so when you do come to make a choice, do it with the aim of squeezing the best you can from life and doing what makes you happy.

 

[HollyWoozle]

My condolences on the loss of your sister, that is terribly sad news and a dreadful shock for you as well.

I would echo others who have said to simply take your time and don't feel the need to make any concrete decisions. It doesn't feel a good time to be thinking of getting back on board, so it seems a great way forwards to keep on with your groundwork and simply see how you feel. It'll be possible to decide to ride them again later on but I understand why you are doubting riding again with all that has happened.

Please take care of yourself at this difficult time. As long as your horses' needs are met, they won't worry whether you ride them or not and there is no need to pressure yourself at all.

 

[Finlib]

Thanks everyone.We have a 15 acre smallholding so the horses live at home.We have an out door school and a half size indoor school.We are very rural but any hacking would involve a couple of miles at least of road work .The roads are narrow and very rural but the traffic is big, tractors,farm vehicles with large machinery on the back and log hauling lorries and trailers and it has got busier
I do free schooling and lose work in the schools and I love looking after the horses.We cut all our own hay and haylege and sell what we don't need so live the country life.
We love getting to all the big country fairs and 3 days events as well as trips to the country parks for a few days most months with our caravan and lovely young Red setter dog (17 months) and I just feel I am jeopardizing that if I should get badly injured(or worse)
I will keep these horses until the time comes for them to gallop over the rainbow bridge but will not buy/acquire any more.
For the moment I am just going to relax and enjoy looking after them I will pick up groundwork and free schooling after my holiday in April.It will give me a chance just to let it all settle in .
Good advice as usual from the lovely people on this site .
As you say the horses won't mind they are happy and healthy and live a good life on nice fields with a lovely barn to shelter in.I need not to over think this and let time give me some perspective.

 

[limestonelil]

So very sorry to hear about your sister and friend. I hope the replies you have received help making your decision a little easier, whichever option you choose.

 

[ArklePig]

I'm very sorry that you've lost your sister, that is tragic.

There's no need to make a decision, now or ever really, take it day by day. I would however think twice about any permanent decisions while you're in the early stages of grief. Thinking of you and I hope you find a good balance with how you proceed.

 

[Pinkvboots]

So sorry for your losses it must have been terrible shock nothing wrong with just doing what your comfortable with, I avoid any sort of roads riding now they are just so dangerous.

 

[Peglo]

I’m so sorry to hear about your sister. How truly devastating.

I hope your friend is coping ok with such a traumatic change in her life.

I'm glad you find enjoyment from your horses, don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to get back on unless you want to.

 

[bonny]

I’m very sorry to hear about your sister and your friend, that is so very hard for you to come to terms with and in your circumstances I think I would make the decision now to stop riding. What has happened to them isn’t ever going to leave you and it sounds like you have a good set up to just enjoy having your horses without the pressure of thinking you should be riding them. They will be happy with retiring now and I hope in time you can get pleasure out of just having them around x

 

[southerncomfort]

I'm so very sorry. That's a lot of loss to cope with.
Xx

 

[scats]

I’m so sorry to hear about your sister, that’s such awful news.
I’d say take the pressure off yourself and see how you feel when the weather improves. I had a recent accident and it’s certainly made me reevaluate some things. I’m no longer going to get on anything that I’m even slightly concerned about and if I ever feel in a vulnerable position on a horse, with an inkling that I might be meeting the floor, I shall be hopping off from now on.