Selling a horse you’ve not had long

[I don’t like mondays]

I bought a horse privately for my daughter and I’ve made the mistake of over horsing her so I’ve come to the decision it’s better to sell now before the horse and my daughter both lose confidence. He’s a bit stronger than I expected but nothing nasty, however he’s feeding off my daughters nerves (she’s been having lessons but they are both getting worse). Because I’ve not had him long and my daughter is nervous we haven’t really put him through his paces so I don’t feel I can say what he’s like in certain situations, only what the original owners told me. What should I do? Sell privately with my limited knowledge of him or sell him on sales livery where they can put him through his paces and test him? My daughter has lost all confidence so can’t ride for viewings. I appreciate I’ve messed up so please be kind. Thanks

 

[Marigold4]

Sounds like sales livery would be best - and emotionally easier for you both as you will be more distant from the process.

 

[milliepops]

I take it from your post that you are also unable to ride him for viewings? I would think pretty much everyone would want to see a ridden horse under saddle before they get on themselves at a viewing so sales livery sounds the most sensible way forward if so.

 

[Red-1]

No need to not be kind, I have done this myself. Bought one who was big to share with Mr Red, but she hurt my hip. She was only here for 6 days, it was making me miserable.

I sent her to a friend for sales livery. She was there a little over a month. We did lots of videos, mounting, riding flat in the school various jumping sessions, riding in the field, loading, at shows, just whatever we did.

I then advertised with all info, and sold within the week (and this was pre covid). I lost a bit of livery money but felt I had done right by the horse. She was sold up and running, fit and well. The new owner was very happy.

My last horse (of 3 years) became unsuitable when mum was ill as my head was a shed. I sent her to the same place to sell. Same thing, about 6 weeks of prepping/schooling and videos, shows etc. She sold same day of advertising. I actually made money on the purchase price, more £ than the livery price, but that was in Covid. She was out eventing with the new, junior, owner within 6 weeks.

That said, both horses were super horses, even if not for me. They were both sane and sound. I had nothing to hide and actually enjoyed watching them at shows etc. I felt that by showing them at their best, I gave them the best chance to find the best owners, as well as getting more £ than if I had tried to sell from home.

 

[Lady Tinseltime]

Agree with previous posters - it sounds as sales livery would not only be best for you and your daughter but for the horse as well.

 

[I don’t like mondays]

Thanks everyone. I think you are right and sales livery is the way to go

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

I agree with the other posters and also want to say that it is better to acknowledge the mistake and take steps to find the horse a suitable home and then find a more suitable horse for your daughter than persist with everyone becoming more and more miserable and losing confidence all round.

 

[ihatework]

I’d ship him off to sales livery

 

[Jenko109]

Dont beat yourself up about it. Relationships dont always work out.

 

[nagblagger]

Then can we all go horse shopping for/with you?

 

[PeterNatt]

Just make sure that who ever you choose to send your horse to for Sales Livery comes with several good references as there are a load of rogues out there and you do not need more aggrovation!

 

[mustardsmum]

Another to agree, find a dealer with a good reputation and sell. He'll find his person, its just not your daughter and that's ok, its better to move on than struggle and loose confidence. Chalk it down to experience and find something you are happy with. It may be worth contacting the original owner and explaining what has happened, they may be happy to take him back.

 

[eahotson]

I agree with the other posters and also want to say that it is better to acknowledge the mistake and take steps to find the horse a suitable home and then find a more suitable horse for your daughter than persist with everyone becoming more and more miserable and losing confidence all round.

Agree 100%

 

[Red-1]

BTW, I didn't feel a failure with the one I only had here for 6 days. On paper, it should have been OK. On the test ride, it was OK. I felt like she auditioned here and wasn't a fit. No blame to me or her. Just not a fit.

In fact, the fact she was so great was not a sign for me to be sad; it was a great thing, as she was easy to sell!

 

[I don’t like mondays]

Another to agree, find a dealer with a good reputation and sell. He'll find his person, its just not your daughter and that's ok, its better to move on than struggle and loose confidence. Chalk it down to experience and find something you are happy with. It may be worth contacting the original owner and explaining what has happened, they may be happy to take him back.

Thank you, I feel so guilty but sounds like I’m doing the right thing. I’ve offered him back they aren’t in a position to take him back

 

[nagblagger]

[QUO Thank you, I feel so guilty but sounds like I’m doing the right thing. I’ve offered him back they aren’t in a position to take him back[/QUOTE]

You would feel more guilty if your daughter had an accident, permanently lost her nerve and the horse was 'ruined'. You are doing the right thing for all concerned.

 

[Whoopit]

Sales livery. Don’t hang on longer than you need. Mines gone on sales an hour from home and he’s sold 4 weeks on without being properly advertised. You have to wait to get your money after the sale but it’s worth not having the hassle in my opinion if the horse isn’t what you want/need - make sure you use someone who sells commission based so they have incentive to sell.

 

[throwaway2022]

I’ve just done exactly the same thing, felt super guilty after only owning him for a couple of months but it wasn’t the right fit for him of my daughter. Luckily my friend bought him, in your case I’d definitely opt for sales livery. My daughter is now on a smaller and much more suitable pony and is coming on leaps and bounds. We all make mistakes, you’re certainly not alone!

 

[I don’t like mondays]

I’ve just done exactly the same thing, felt super guilty after only owning him for a couple of months but it wasn’t the right fit for him of my daughter. Luckily my friend bought him, in your case I’d definitely opt for sales livery. My daughter is now on a smaller and much more suitable pony and is coming on leaps and bounds. We all make mistakes, you’re certainly not alone!

Thank you, that’s good to know you had a happy outcome. I think there’s a lot that can be said for having a smaller pony than you need (I’ll certainly adhere to that next time!!). I really thought this one was a kick along sort (he is 99% of the time then suddenly won’t stop and gets faster and faster!). My daughter rode a friends smaller pony this week and was 100 times more confident

 

[I don’t like mondays]

I feel so guilty right now. I’m hoping once he’s sold I’ll feel better about things, especially if a lovely home is found by the dealer

 

[Birker2020]

I feel so guilty right now. I’m hoping once he’s sold I’ll feel better about things, especially if a lovely home is found by the dealer

I felt incredibly guilty putting mine on sales livery but that was because I wasn't convinced that aiming him for a hunting home was the way to go in view of his problems and didn't feel he'd last five minutes in that environment. And he had physical issues (which were going to be fully disclosed) which I worried would limit his career and if the new owner couldn't be bothered to get this sorted or didn't know this was the issue and then thought he was being naughty and he ended up getting passed from pillar to post, I wouldn't have wanted that for him. And I had by that time fallen for him and loved him.

As it happens he was naughty for the sales livery guy and went lame (through something and nothing) and so came home whilst I work (again) on getting him physically better with a view to me either keeping him or letting him go to retirement livery if he is unable to be ridden.

I would just add that had I not spent a) months getting him right rehabbing him and built up a lovely relationship with him and b) had he been completely sound and physically without issue then I would have had no qualms about selling him on and getting something more suitable.

 

[I don’t like mondays]

I felt incredibly guilty putting mine on sales livery but that was because I wasn't convinced that aiming him for a hunting home was the way to go in view of his problems and didn't feel he'd last five minutes in that environment. And he had physical issues (which were going to be fully disclosed) which I worried would limit his career and if the new owner couldn't be bothered to get this sorted or didn't know this was the issue and then thought he was being naughty and he ended up getting passed from pillar to post, I wouldn't have wanted that for him. And I had by that time fallen for him and loved him.

As it happens he was naughty for the sales livery guy and went lame (through something and nothing) and so came home whilst I work (again) on getting him physically better with a view to me either keeping him or letting him go to retirement livery if he is unable to be ridden.

I would just add that had I not spent a) months getting him right rehabbing him and built up a lovely relationship with him and b) had he been completely sound and physically without issue then I would have had no qualms about selling him on and getting something more suitable.

Gosh, sorry to hear that Birker, what a hard situation to be in

 

[Birker2020]

Gosh, sorry to hear that Birker, what a hard situation to be in

I probably sound like a pity party but I'm finding it incredibly hard. I've waited ages to ride again having had an elderly horse that I lost in June 2021 and couldn't do anything with for about three or four years prior other than the odd hack, so when she was eventually pts I was looking forward to finding a forever horse to love and to go out and compete and just have fun on. Never resented her, but longed to be able to go out and have fun.

And now with the next horse. Its so hard watching everyone else have enjoyment and fun whilst I'm sat on the side lines again, even more cruel when there's others in my situation find something to ride. It hurts so much being left out. It's not their fault and I am glad for them, but I so wish it was me. The longing to ride never goes away, it just gets harder and harder as every week goes by.

But I love my horse and would do anything for him. I am so hoping he comes right but I doubt he will, I'm a realist and I think he was not only missold me but I also feel that there is no way he should have passed the vetting, he can't have had all these things wrong with him since I've had him, that much is obvious.

For those that have just had a horse and don't get on with it sell, sell, sell I urge you to. Before you become attached, because when you are, letting go is just impossible.

 

[Birker2020]

I bought a horse privately for my daughter and I’ve made the mistake of over horsing her so I’ve come to the decision it’s better to sell now before the horse and my daughter both lose confidence. He’s a bit stronger than I expected but nothing nasty, however he’s feeding off my daughters nerves (she’s been having lessons but they are both getting worse). Because I’ve not had him long and my daughter is nervous we haven’t really put him through his paces so I don’t feel I can say what he’s like in certain situations, only what the original owners told me. What should I do? Sell privately with my limited knowledge of him or sell him on sales livery where they can put him through his paces and test him? My daughter has lost all confidence so can’t ride for viewings. I appreciate I’ve messed up so please be kind. Thanks

You haven't messed up. You did what you thought was right in buying the horse for your daughter. Its sad things haven't worked out but its not your fault. Don't blame yourself, I blamed myself and its a self destructing road to go down.

 

[I don’t like mondays]

I probably sound like a pity party but I'm finding it incredibly hard. I've waited ages to ride again having had an elderly horse that I lost in June 2021 and couldn't do anything with for about three or four years prior other than the odd hack, so when she was eventually pts I was looking forward to finding a forever horse to love and to go out and compete and just have fun on. Never resented her, but longed to be able to go out and have fun.

And now with the next horse. Its so hard watching everyone else have enjoyment and fun whilst I'm sat on the side lines again, even more cruel when there's others in my situation find something to ride. It hurts so much being left out. It's not their fault and I am glad for them, but I so wish it was me. The longing to ride never goes away, it just gets harder and harder as every week goes by.

But I love my horse and would do anything for him. I am so hoping he comes right but I doubt he will, I'm a realist and I think he was not only missold me but I also feel that there is no way he should have passed the vetting, he can't have had all these things wrong with him since I've had him, that much is obvious.

For those that have just had a horse and don't get on with it sell, sell, sell I urge you to. Before you become attached, because when you are, letting go is just impossible.

You have grounds to be upset and frustrated. Nursing a horse is hard (and not fun) and it’s so unfair your current horse has issues too :-(

 

[Birker2020]

You have grounds to be upset and frustrated. Nursing a horse is hard (and not fun) and it’s so unfair your current horse has issues too :-(

If I ever get him sorted and he doesn't deck me or feels like an unexploded bomb every time I ride him I will go out and have soooo much fun, you lot will never hear the last of it

 

[Winters100]

I wish that I had been as smart as you when I over-horsed myself, your daughter is lucky to have a sensible and pragmatic Mother. Instead I spent a fortune on lessons, trainers etc, all for a horse which was never going to be a good fit for me. Had I done the sensible thing and sold during the early part of ownership I would have saved myself a lot of heartache, money, lost confidence, and also a fairly serious accident.

Don't beat yourself up about this. Most long term horse owners have had at least 1 who was just the wrong horse, send him to sales livery and pat yourself on the back for dealing with the problem early on.

 

[I don’t like mondays]

Thanks again for the advice. The dealer thinks the horse is worth a fair bit more than we paid, I feel awkward about if the original owner sees his ad and it’s more than we paid not very long ago…however he hasn’t turned out to be as we thought at all (quite the opposite) and I’ve offered him back to them (for what I paid) plus I’ve got the risk he might not sell. I’ll obviously be paying sales livery and a cut for the dealer which eat into the price. Dealer (I found on recommendation) and previous owners are from the same part of the country weirdly. It feels wrong to potentially sell for quite a bit more than we paid. Don’t want to profit from this however it’s been a massive headache/ sad time for my child and not a position I wanted to be in

 

[Melody Grey]

Thanks again for the advice. The dealer thinks the horse is worth a fair bit more than we paid, I feel awkward about if the original owner sees his ad and it’s more than we paid not very long ago…however he hasn’t turned out to be as we thought at all (quite the opposite) and I’ve offered him back to them (for what I paid) plus I’ve got the risk he might not sell. I’ll obviously be paying sales livery and a cut for the dealer which eat into the price. Dealer (I found on recommendation) and previous owners are from the same part of the country weirdly. It feels wrong to potentially sell for quite a bit more than we paid. Don’t want to profit from this however it’s been a massive headache/ sad time for my child and not a position I wanted to be in

Taking into account the dealer’s cut and any sales costs, I wouldn’t be worried about putting the horse up for more money. The market is high (still!) and you’re going to need that extra to buy something else....which will also be going up in cost. If you already offered back the horse at purchase price and they declined, I don’t think the old owner has reason to feel aggrieved.

 

[Jellymoon]

I did this with my daughter a couple of years ago, bought the poor child something that turned out to be too sharp. I tried everything I could think of to get him calmer, but ultimately she became too scared to ride him and nearly gave up altogether. He went on sales livery, for a bit more money than I paid, but I feel it was justified as the professional spent a few weeks schooling him for me, and presented him beatifically, and did all the legwork speaking to buyers. You would always expect to pay more from a professional yard than a private owner. We were all sad about it, but he went off to a much more suitable home and is happy.

I wouldn’t feel guilty at all. I suspect the previous owners might have also had issues with him they perhaps weren’t totally honest about.