Selling due to Covid

[Cozzabelle]

Is anyone else facing having to sell their horse because of the Coronavirus situation? I don’t want to but my husband is extremely worried about the future and the economic crash and thinks that I should sell my horse now while I can to save money. We both have our jobs for now and it is likely that mine will be ok but his may not be. I pay for my horse myself but it doesn’t leave me a lot left to put into savings whereas he does. The trouble is he isn’t emotionally attached to the horse so it’s not really a hardship for him, he’ll be happy to see her go because in his opinion a horse is a luxury and a financial liability. In my head I know the smart thing to do now would be to sell her but it just sucks.

 

[milliepops]

I think it could be a very difficult time to sell at the mo unless you have an exceptional horse ?

 

[dixie]

How are you going to sell her when no one can view?

 

[burtie]

Honestly not unsympathetic to peoples financial worries at this time, but I wonder who you could sell too at the moment, can't see anyone wanting to buy.

 

[DirectorFury]

he’ll be happy to see her go

Are you sure he's not using this crisis to manipulate you into getting rid of your horse?

 

[Cozzabelle]

To clarify I live overseas, so our lockdown is not exactly as it is in the UK at the moment. At the moment we are in total lockdown, but have a very low number of cases and restrictions are expected to be downgraded in the next two weeks. He wants me to put her on the market as soon as we are able to.

 

[AmyMay]

Are you in a sector that’s going to see job losses in the future?

 

[DirectorFury]

I'm guessing NZ?

Does he normally resent you spending time with the horse? Does he see her as his 'competition' for your attention or affection?

 

[Shilasdair]

I think it's an academic question, as you can't sell a horse just now whilst we are in the middle of lockdown anyway.

And when it's over, I presume husband will be earning again.

Life is too short to save money/time or love for the future incidentally - enjoy your horse.

 

[PapaverFollis]

I think he might be being a little hasty and perhaps using it as an excuse!

 

[Cozzabelle]

Are you in a sector that’s going to see job losses in the future?

I think all sectors could see job losses in the future

I'm guessing NZ?

Does he normally resent you spending time with the horse? Does he see her as his 'competition' for your attention or affection?

Yes NZ. He doesn’t resent the time I spend and but he does resent the money that it takes up and the fact that it means I don’t save very much.

 

[IngramsRoughDiamond]

It's not his business as you pay for your horse, he's clearly using the current situation to make you do something you don't really want to do

 

[Firefly9410]

Whenever money becomes tight (or in your case just potentially!) it always amazes me the things men think their partner should give up 'for the sake of the family' even though they are not the one paying for it! If it was the other way round with you potentially losing your job and him with the expensive luxurious hobby, would he be offering to give his hobby up? For me the answer to that question would be the difference between whether I seriously consider what he wants or tell him to jog on!

 

[AmyMay]

Being practical. If he looses his job can you afford to fund house and horse yourself?

 

[Mari]

We used to have a joint account. My husband used to moan that all our money went on my horse so we opened separate accounts & used the joint one for household expenses putting in the sane amount every month. We paid for all other ‘personal ‘ things out of our own account. He was trying to prove I couldn’t afford my horse but I could. However I couldn’t afford the type of holiday he wanted us to take (I was happy to stay at home with horse) so if he wanted me to go on holiday with him then he had to pay for me. He now earns a lot more than me & whilst this system is still in use he regularly buys me horse things I’d like but wouldn’t buy for myself Eg jump poles & blocks. He also pays for the medication my homebred veteran needs now.

 

[holeymoley]

My husband would never come out with something like that as he knows it just wouldn’t be an option. Especially as he’s funded by myself, I’d rather go without a car, other luxuries etc etc before I sold him.

That aside, what is the likelihood of you both losing your jobs? Can you afford to live with one earner only? What else can you give up together first of all?

Everyone is different but honestly we would have to be at complete dire straights before we even came to that conclusion. I suppose it depends on the relationship with your horse too, I’ve had mine for 16 years so he’s very much part of the family.

 

[tristar]

i would keep the horse and get rid of the husband

 

[Cozzabelle]

Being practical. If he looses his job can you afford to fund house and horse yourself?

No, I couldn’t. But if I lost mine he could fund the house for both of us, and would happily do so.

 

[Cozzabelle]

We used to have a joint account. My husband used to moan that all our money went on my horse so we opened separate accounts & used the joint one for household expenses putting in the sane amount every month. We paid for all other ‘personal ‘ things out of our own account. He was trying to prove I couldn’t afford my horse but I could. However I couldn’t afford the type of holiday he wanted us to take (I was happy to stay at home with horse) so if he wanted me to go on holiday with him then he had to pay for me. He now earns a lot more than me & whilst this system is still in use he regularly buys me horse things I’d like but wouldn’t buy for myself Eg jump poles & blocks. He also pays for the medication my homebred veteran needs now.

This is exactly what we’ve done and I pay my way and my horse is well looked after but I can’t afford overseas trips and many of the unexpected things that life throws at us. He’s also been very supportive of my dream to own a horse and bought me jump poles and things to make my yard easier to manage like a hay feeder and has made me drying racks for my rugs.

 

[dreamcometrue]

I’d ask him how he will compensate you for the loss of the love, joy, serenity etc that your horse provides.

 

[Roasted Chestnuts]

Being honest my partner would go before the horse did.

If it were my job that was going then that would make me look at things differently but not by much. If i pay for it myself then it’s my choice not my partners

 

[claret09]

please don't think i am being rude, but he is being an arse

 

[Follysmum]

I will probably get shot down for saying this and I’m old fashioned but I don’t get the
“his money my money “
when your married surely your a joint unit and share.
I think he’s being unfair really. Unless you think it’s for the best you will resent him

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Perhaps your husband would like to sell/downgrade his car, in case he loses his job.

 

[Spotherisk]

You have to decide for yourself, it’s not his decision. If you were single right now would you sell your horse just in case you lost your job?

 

[SEL]

If this virus has highlighted anything to me it's that life is short so live it. If that means having fun with your horse and saving less then just enjoy your life!

 

[Sussexbythesea]

It’s not always easy but this is why I love being financially independent and single.

 

[planete]

Could your husband just be genuinely scared of the future? From what you say about the practical help he has given you so far he does not sound opposed to your having a horse. Perhaps you need to sit him down and tell him much your well-being is linked to your horse and that you cannot contemplate selling him before you are sure there is no other way for both of you to survive financially. Non horsey people find it hard to understand how much we invest in our horses. Many people are very scared at the moment and it is understandable some are trying to plan for the worst eventualities.

 

[SO1]

It is the day to day costs of horse keeping that he is concerned about or does he believe the horse is an asset & the funds from selling could support you both for a while should you loose your jobs.

I think it would be a difficult time to sell unless you have an exceptional competition horse that you are selling at a reduced price that someone really wealthy would buy.

Are there ways that you could cut costs of horse keeping to reduce your outgoings?

I think it is natural to worry about finances at this time of uncertainty. Until there is a vaccine people will be scared to go out or spend & it will effect the economy.

It is difficult to say what will happen in NZ & how much being closed to tourism for 18 months will effect the economy. Everything else I expect will be up & running sooner than here.

 

[SBJT]

My husband suggested the same thing to me. I didn’t talk to him for two days. It hasn’t come up since we made up and agreed to compromise. If it comes to me losing my job we move him but don’t sell him.