Separation Anxiety Advice!

[Spirit3106]

Hi!
I am part loaning an 11yo mare. She lives out with a herd, or is stabled at night with other horses. All this to say that she is a very social horse, and she's extremely bonded to the herd that she's turned out with. And it's very hard to work with her when she's on her own.

She's actually very good to catch from the field, but if you bring her onto the yard and there's no other horses there (or even just none of the ones she's friends with), she is very anxious, pacing if she's in a stable or pulling if she's tied up. She will constantly call out and can be difficult to groom/tack up. Out hacking alone she's generally been ok, but I've only ridden her alone around the fields/tracks on the property, so she's always been close to other horses. I did try her once on a track that leads off property and she was very nappy, so I turned back but did the other route that she's comfortable with so it didn't mean just going straight home again (it was up a very steep, slippery hill so I wasn't willing to try and force her up it if she was in spinning and backing-up form).

Going out in company, or working in the stable if she has a companion with her, she's very good. It's a night and day difference. I've been loaning her 2x a week for a month now, and I've tried different things to help her enjoy spending time with me even if it's away from the others. Last week I didn't ride either day, the first day I just pulled her out and groomed her for a while, and the second day I did walking in-hand up the path away from the other horses. I hoped that it would've helped her to have spent some time not having any work expectations. Today though I rode again and she was actually napping a lot even on the farm route that we normally do, spinning and trying to turn and backing up really quickly. She napped going out past the paddock, we did the route and was good going home (I also practiced getting her to halt, turning and facing backwards or going a few steps), but passing the paddock again she napped even going *back* to the yard, really stroppy and throwing mini bucks/kicks even, we got back ok and we pushed through it but it was so discouraging that she was worse!

Often it feels like, she's capable of being fine and can actually relax and enjoy herself once she's focusing on what she's doing and what you're asking, but then all of a sudden she remembers that she's away from the others and gets very anxious, and can't concentrate on anything other than trying to get back to the others. I had her loose in the arena the other day (I'd been planning to start groundwork), and she was so frantic and she actually jumped out of the arena and ran back to her paddock.

She's a really lovely mare when she's got company or when you can get her focused on something else, but I don't know if I'm getting anywhere with her. Does anyone have any advice? Ways to help her settle or what I can work on with her? Most horses I've loaned/ridden had been on individual turnout, didn't mind being on their own etc, so even though I can completely understand why a social/herd animal might have difficulties leaving the others, I'm definitely finding her to be a bit of a learning curve. Thank you!

 

[Caol Ila]

What does the owner say? Do they have the same problems?

Some horses don't do hacking alone, either because they haven't been trained to, or it's not a thing they can deal with. When I was looking for a sharer for my gelding, I was very, very, very clear that he. does. not. hack. solo. So no one would write a post like this on HHO! Among other things.

Yard geography is definitely a issue for some horses. My old horse did not like yards where you were completely separated from all horses, all sight and all sound, when you brought them in. My current mare, who was at a yard like that for a wee while, could not care less. But again, this should be a thing -- if it's a thing -- that the owner should be aware of. So either it isn't a problem for them - in which case, you should ask them for help - or it is, in which case it's not an ideal share if you had no idea the horse would be quirky before you got into it.

My gelding is a very complicated character, but my share advert was a novel, so anyone who responded to it would be perfectly aware that he's a sensitive little weirdo.

 

[Spirit3106]

What does the owner say? Do they have the same problems?

Some horses don't do hacking alone, either because they haven't been trained to, or it's not a thing they can deal with. When I was looking for a sharer for my gelding, I was very, very, very clear that he. does. not. hack. solo. So no one would write a post like this on HHO! Among other things.

Yard geography is definitely a thing. My old horse did not like yards where you were completely separated from all horses, all sight and all sound, when you brought them in. My current mare, who was at a yard like that for a wee while, could not care less. But again, this should be a thing -- if it's a thing -- that the owner should be aware of. So either it isn't a problem for them - in which case, you should ask them for help - or it is, in which case it's not an ideal share.

Yep the owner has been very helpful, I've asked her about it and she's told me that she found that the mare is generally ok with people that she's comfortable with - other people who've ridden her on the yard have said the same thing, that when she gets familiar with people she's fine solo hacking. So her owner has been helping me with it but I'm just looking for any other tips anyone else has on things to do.

 

[Caol Ila]

Well, there is no magic, unfortunately. Only the owner will know if you need to ride or handle her differently in order to build more confidence. No one on the internet will know that. If she thinks whatever you're doing is fine, then it just takes time, and you have to go as fast as the horse is willing to go. Hack in company and try wee walks and things. And the beauty of a share is that if it's not right, you're not stuck with it forever.

You are riding two days per week. Does anyone else ride? Is the owner riding at the moment? Is she having issues with it throwing bucks and kicks?

 

[Spirit3106]

Well, there is no magic, unfortunately. Only the owner will know if you need to ride or handle her differently in order to build more confidence. No one on the internet will know that. If she thinks whatever you're doing is fine, then it just takes time, and you have to go as fast as the horse is willing to go. Hack in company and try wee walks and things. And the beauty of a share is that if it's not right, you're not stuck with it forever.

You are riding two days per week. Does anyone else ride? Is the owner riding at the moment? Is she having issues with it throwing bucks and kicks?

Thank you. I think maybe the owner rides the odd time but it's mainly just me. The horse is out basically all the time unless the weather is terrible, so I don't think freshness is a factor really. When I went out on a hack with her owner riding with us, the horse did do one or two little similar bucks/kicks (because I wouldn't let her pull down a path towards home, kind of what happened today on a smaller scale), but she didn't worry about it. Her owner had mentioned that she used to buck occasionally going up into a canter but I haven't had that issue with her.