Shannon Matthews

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i was a single mum with two kids by 2 dad's....

i raised them in a council home.

i ALWAYS had a job, most of the time two!!!!
i ALWAYS made sure they went to school
i ALWAYS made sure they were fed, clothed, were polite, knew ground rules, made sure they "worked" for extras..ie money for youth club, sweets, lifts to friends, etc etc..
i paid rent,
i paid my bills on time,
i ran a car

i suppose the difference is that i didn't think the State owed me a living...
if i couldn't afford it, i didnt buy it
and i NEVER played the "single-mother" card


sometimes you can't help people who wont help themselves...

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No you cant, also you will note that on no point on here have I said that her being a single mum on benefits makes her of a lower class then anyone else, it does not come down to class. Personally I alwaysed thought she looked a bit spaced out and wondered if she had issues so to speak.

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nor have i mentioned class....
i would put myself as"working class"...
which is the "class" the majority of these "benefit spongers/single mums" fall into.

the problem of that stems from the "system" that is supposedly helping them...
it unfortunately positively encourages "sponging"...
 
No worries. It is me that is losing the plot today!
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To be honest I find the whole situation very disturbing. Mum doesn't really seem overly bothered that child is in care the BF seems very weird and I think the fact that this child was found in the drawer of a divan bed decidedly obscure!!! I think there are some very peculiar things going on in this family.
 
My mother's theory is that there was something dodgy going on with the stepfather and the mother knew about it, and Shannon took herself off to be with the uncle (or there was some sort of arrangement) and the mother knew about that too.

Have to say my mother's not often wrong about these sort of things (been in ss for a very long time, and like bettyboop says, you get a feel for these things)
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Poor Shannon, at least the situation is being looked into now.
 
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My thoughts are that maybe the uncle took her because he knew what the step father was capable of?

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My thoughts as well.god only knows poor kids
 
I have had mixed feelings about this case which have changed from one day to the next the more I saw of little shannon's mother on TV.

I have a snag that her mother and stepfather may have known all along where she was. Surely the police would have asked for information of all of her friends, family members, neighbours, etc.....why was the uncle not named among others - surely shannons mother and SF would have wondered why this uncle was not out helping in the search for shannon like everyone else was. When shannon went missing I'm sure the police woild have been in contact with everyone the parents knew who lived in and around the area - why was this man not mentioned? There are so many question needing to be asked. Also, I believe I read/heard that shannon didn't get along with her SF. Some mothers put men before their own children - The uncle had his own children taken from him and was arrested for kidnapping one of them and taking the child to blackpool for 3 days......surely such history would have had someone within the matthews household thinking.

I know all people react diffently to such situations but Shannons mother was smiling on the tv during the documentry. She went into shannons room, came out as bright as a button then then desided to cry, to which I felt were forced tears....

I will feel so guilty and sorry for my suspisions if they are wrong, but as a mother myself, there is no way I would be in the sane state shannons mother was during those days in which her little girl was missing. The woman just seemed way too confident and upright for someone who's little girl was missing.


Now we hear child porn images were found on the computer in the Matthews house - SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT HERE.

The police must have known something wasn't right because they investigated the SF and removed items from the house before the little girl was even found.
 
Some interesting points BUT

If the uncle had a history surely he'd be one of the first the police would quiz? That's what police do, they check out every paedo in the area, then anyone with a history of kidnap... one uncle with a history... so how come it took the police so long?


something certainally IS fishy.

But IF the mother knew all along that the child was with the uncle then maybe she wanted the police to search her house to find out about the SF? Maybe she knew and was scared of him? Maybe this was her way of protecting Shannon without getting the SF's back up (or him blaming her for the police finding his sick files).


One thing, I do not think this mother is as stupid as people are making out. I suspect what she has done is highly cunning and for the sake of her children.
 
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I have had mixed feelings about this case which have changed from one day to the next the more I saw of little shannon's mother on TV.

I have a snag that her mother and stepfather may have known all along where she was. Surely the police would have asked for information of all of her friends, family members, neighbours, etc.....why was the uncle not named among others - surely shannons mother and SF would have wondered why this uncle was not out helping in the search for shannon like everyone else was. When shannon went missing I'm sure the police woild have been in contact with everyone the parents knew who lived in and around the area - why was this man not mentioned? There are so many question needing to be asked. Also, I believe I read/heard that shannon didn't get along with her SF. Some mothers put men before their own children - The uncle had his own children taken from him and was arrested for kidnapping one of them and taking the child to blackpool for 3 days......surely such history would have had someone within the matthews household thinking.

I know all people react diffently to such situations but Shannons mother was smiling on the tv during the documentry. She went into shannons room, came out as bright as a button then then desided to cry, to which I felt were forced tears....

I will feel so guilty and sorry for my suspisions if they are wrong, but as a mother myself, there is no way I would be in the sane state shannons mother was during those days in which her little girl was missing. The woman just seemed way too confident and upright for someone who's little girl was missing.


Now we hear child porn images were found on the computer in the Matthews house - SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT HERE.

The police must have known something wasn't right because they investigated the SF and removed items from the house before the little girl was even found.

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I agree 110% with Myjack,if it was my daughter missing i would have been insane with grief and would not even have been able to smile for the camera,and the fact that Shannon is still in care and when was she found ? A couple of weeks ago or even more ??? Child Abuse in any shape or form is one thing that really makes my blood boil
 
Well these non workin types with loads of kids with different non paying dads must have some intelligence, they always manage to know what benefit to claim and where to claim it from.
 
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Well these non workin types with loads of kids with different non paying dads must have some intelligence, they always manage to know what benefit to claim and where to claim it from.

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That is so not helpful. There are many people that are on benefits that are highly intelligent, just caught in a trap! If you are living in a rented property for instance that is £895 per month, as most houses are in my area and that is cheap round here, then you have your council tax on top, then gas, electric, water, tv licence etc. On top of all of that if you are a single parent going to work you have childcare costs, you have school uniform, school trips, new shoes etc and then christmas and easter which are a nightmare time for any single parent, I have been there. What job pays you enough to cover all of those things and still have money left at the end of the month for incidentals? Even with tax credits paying the majority of the childcare it is still an impossible situation. My friend is a single mum, she came off of benefit and started to work from 5 in the morning til 9 in a supermarket, she came off of benefit and she is now £350 per month worse off. She has now had to stop working and go back onto single parent benefit, that way she can keep the roof over her head. It is a sad situation to be in but it is a fact of life.

That said the estate where Shannon lived is well known, most on there do not work and there is a high crime level there, I think that at best her mother, I wont say Mum, is guilty of being naive and not making very good choices when it comes to men. I also think that I, well I know that I would not at her age of gone with someone that age and expected them to of been capable of looking after my children, I doubt that the man is capable of looking after himself. I also think that it will come out at some point that both the mother and s-f were abused when they were children.
 
I also think that it will come out at some point that both the mother and s-f were abused when they were children


i'm sorry but that is just another cliche, typical of social services......

it's ALWAYS someone elses fault......
 
But a far as we know she was not a "single parent". She had her BF living with her and in the eyes of the law that does not make her a single parent.

We should not tar all single parents with the same brush. Not even those on benefits. Some need to be on benefits and some don't. I had once known of two single parents - one could have gone to work but chose not to, while the other did several cleaning jobs to raise her child. I know of a single parent now who has two children and she works her butt off to raise her children and these two children of hers are dressed and kept better than some children with two parents.

I do believe in this case thought, that either the mother or the SF could have gone out and got a job. They are both young and able. There are some old people out there who work their butts off when they could just sit back and recieve benefits. Shannons mother and SF have a computer and smoke. Yes they may have, or may not have been given the computer but what about the monthly internet bills etc? In my heart of hearts I truely believe that many other things have been put before the children.

And another thing - when shannons SF was being held at the police station over the child porn images shannons mother went and visited him. I'm sorry but that's just NOT RIGHT.

But like I said, some mothers put men before their children
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But again, I could be wrong about alot of these things. however, I very much doubt they would say the BF had indecent images of children if that were not true.
 
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I also think that it will come out at some point that both the mother and s-f were abused when they were children.

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That may or may not be true BUT that is NO excuse for anything involved in this case.
 
perhaps if they didnt know how to claim benefits then the scrounger's little brats could starve... Is that the reply you want? Is that the attitude we should have?

Not everyone is able to work. It'd be fab if every man and woman could go out and get themselves a nice job, but sadly life isnt like that. And it's such an ignorant attitude to assume every person has access to a job which pays enough to keep a family. Some people simply are financially better off on benefits. That is not always the fault of the individual / family, that is the fault of the goverment.
 
PMSL!!! yes and how many do you know that have loads of horses and ponies, a nice lorry etc lol!! so true! Must remind myself to give up work!
 
Rubbish, I am essentially a single parent even tho now with partner, he does not cover my daughters costs or look after her.

I have done it pretty much apart from first 2 years on my own, full time job, full time childcare, and horse and having to put roof over our heads, and everything else, never had a penny from the council, tho granted working tax credits are a godsend now she is slightly older they actually help!

It can be done, even if it was £20 more than being on the dole I'd work out of pride!!!
 
I don't think I know anyone on benefits who has horses... let alone a posh lorry!


they must get a higher rate at your end of the country.
 
okay, so what if woman A gives up work to look after her children. her husband earns a good wage... then he ups and leaves her for his secretary, and clears their joint account, leaving her with little savings. What should she do? He won't give her any money, she's going to lose the roof over their heads... should she chuck the kids into care because she can't afford to look after them?

life isnt always black and white and to assume that someone is on benefits because they're uneducated or a scrounger is incredibly narrow minded.

Obviously, many do choose to have children and live on benefits, but to tar everyone with the same brush is just silly.
 
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At the end of the day people shouldnt have children if they cant afford to look after them.

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It is not always that simple though is it? I was a qualified nurse when I had my first daughter, by the time I had my 2nd, 2 years later I was into my mental health training and living with there dad who was an alcoholic that beat the [****] out of me on a daily basis.
By the time my youngest was 2 I left him, he beat me so badly one night I could barely walk, so I stabbed him in the arm, picked up my children and fled to Greece for 3 years.
I came back, I was arrested and remanded in custody. Since then and that was 10 years ago nearly, I have turned my life around, BUT, I was on benefits and living in a hostel with both of my children. I had offers from men, didnt take them up though, my children were then and are now my priority in life. I refused to live on a council estate round here with them, so I borrowed the money to put down as a deposit on a rented house, dince then we have moved round in and out of different rented accomodation and I am now with someone for 4 years. I have worked in child protection since then, I have had to prove myself due to the girls dad, I was the guilty one not him as I retalitated. Now I am studying for a degree in forensic psychology and crimininology and profiling. I do youth offending work and I have 2 lovely daughters and 2 beautiful horses.
My whole point to this is that life is not only what you make it it is also what you are given. You can choose what you do and dont do in life and along the way you bmore often then not make some wrong choices. Shannons mother, albeit naive and dim it seems at times has made many wrong choices, obviously, but she is the way she is, look at her and where she lives. Luckily I was brought up in a family that knew the difference between right and wrong and I was supported throughout everything I did as a child and now as an adult. We are all aware that the s-f is a [****], maybe with counselling and support Shannons mum can learn to love her children how they should be loved and fufill there lives. If she was or has never been loved herself then she can not love her chldren.
 
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At the end of the day people shouldnt have children if they cant afford to look after them.

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It is not always that simple though is it? I was a qualified nurse when I had my first daughter, by the time I had my 2nd, 2 years later I was into my mental health training and living with there dad who was an alcoholic that beat the [****] out of me on a daily basis.
By the time my youngest was 2 I left him, he beat me so badly one night I could barely walk, so I stabbed him in the arm, picked up my children and fled to Greece for 3 years.
I came back, I was arrested and remanded in custody. Since then and that was 10 years ago nearly, I have turned my life around, BUT, I was on benefits and living in a hostel with both of my children. I had offers from men, didnt take them up though, my children were then and are now my priority in life. I refused to live on a council estate round here with them, so I borrowed the money to put down as a deposit on a rented house, dince then we have moved round in and out of different rented accomodation and I am now with someone for 4 years. I have worked in child protection since then, I have had to prove myself due to the girls dad, I was the guilty one not him as I retalitated. Now I am studying for a degree in forensic psychology and crimininology and profiling. I do youth offending work and I have 2 lovely daughters and 2 beautiful horses.
My whole point to this is that life is not only what you make it it is also what you are given. You can choose what you do and dont do in life and along the way you bmore often then not make some wrong choices. Shannons mother, albeit naive and dim it seems at times has made many wrong choices, obviously, but she is the way she is, look at her and where she lives. Luckily I was brought up in a family that knew the difference between right and wrong and I was supported throughout everything I did as a child and now as an adult. We are all aware that the s-f is a [****], maybe with counselling and support Shannons mum can learn to love her children how they should be loved and fufill there lives. If she was or has never been loved herself then she can not love her chldren.

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now, I'd hate to have gone through what you did, but I have ten times more respect for a person who has had to struggle a little to get to where they are in life than for someone who has been handed it all on a plate and assumes anyone who hasnt is something below them.

I'd be proud to call you my mum.
 
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At the end of the day people shouldnt have children if they cant afford to look after them.

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It is not always that simple though is it? I was a qualified nurse when I had my first daughter, by the time I had my 2nd, 2 years later I was into my mental health training and living with there dad who was an alcoholic that beat the [****] out of me on a daily basis.
By the time my youngest was 2 I left him, he beat me so badly one night I could barely walk, so I stabbed him in the arm, picked up my children and fled to Greece for 3 years.
I came back, I was arrested and remanded in custody. Since then and that was 10 years ago nearly, I have turned my life around, BUT, I was on benefits and living in a hostel with both of my children. I had offers from men, didnt take them up though, my children were then and are now my priority in life. I refused to live on a council estate round here with them, so I borrowed the money to put down as a deposit on a rented house, dince then we have moved round in and out of different rented accomodation and I am now with someone for 4 years. I have worked in child protection since then, I have had to prove myself due to the girls dad, I was the guilty one not him as I retalitated. Now I am studying for a degree in forensic psychology and crimininology and profiling. I do youth offending work and I have 2 lovely daughters and 2 beautiful horses.
My whole point to this is that life is not only what you make it it is also what you are given. You can choose what you do and dont do in life and along the way you bmore often then not make some wrong choices. Shannons mother, albeit naive and dim it seems at times has made many wrong choices, obviously, but she is the way she is, look at her and where she lives. Luckily I was brought up in a family that knew the difference between right and wrong and I was supported throughout everything I did as a child and now as an adult. We are all aware that the s-f is a [****], maybe with counselling and support Shannons mum can learn to love her children how they should be loved and fufill there lives. If she was or has never been loved herself then she can not love her chldren.

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now, I'd hate to have gone through what you did, but I have ten times more respect for a person who has had to struggle a little to get to where they are in life than for someone who has been handed it all on a plate and assumes anyone who hasnt is something below them.

I'd be proud to call you my mum.

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Thank you very much, hopefully mine are too. I have not had anything handed to me on a plate, although now as an adult it is my Dad that pays for my horses usually bless him.
Shannons mother and many others do not know any different though, that is I must add an assumption with Shannons mother.
Some kids are brought up in a home where being on benefit, queing outside the post office on a Monday and weekly trips to the labour exchange are the norm, if that is what they see day in and day out then it is par for the course, generally that they will then go on to live this life themselves.

Basil Berstien did wonderful research into working class and upper class families, http://www.doceo.co.uk/background/language_codes.htm
it was something he called the elaborated and the restricted language code and it is so true in life now and years ago.
 
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