Sharer stress turns nightmare..

[Bens_Mum]

I ended the share yesterday.

For all who said give the teenager the benefit of the doubt today I have found out she has ridden my horse in someone else's saddle, he has a girth gall and spur marks on his side. I am absolutely devastated and have been so upset. To add insult to injury he is also lame - no necessarily related.

I didn't take his rug off yesterday so you can imagine my shock when I went to loose school him. He is very lame in trot too apparently she jumped him against my orders in someone else's saddle. He has had back issues and a made to measure saddle. This was in a deep school. She had time for all this but not to remove his headcollar on Sunday.

I'm raging I only found out because a fellow livery told me. In ten years he has been my pride and joy I am so upset.

Pointless post really but I can't tell you how bad I feel right now..

 

[lawa]

That is awfull and I am very sorry. But the lesson is you need to monitor anyone who does anything with your horse untill you can find someone you can trust.

 

[Bens_Mum]

Never again the adult clearly wasn't supervising at all that is the sad thing what a fool am I.

 

[lawa]

I think you said your friend was monitoring her? I would be having very stern words tbh. As a sharer myself from a young age what has happened is bad but I think you need to be having a look at your friend TBH

 

[Nutsaboutnags]

Oh no, that is really disappointing. You must be livid that she went against your wishes, sharing is such a minefield......
Hope your boy is ok....

 

[Bens_Mum]

The friend has got it I was raging. I'm very lucky someone decided to tell me the truth. He is really lame no heat so I'm hoping its just muscular.

 

[southerncomfort]

Oh no, that's awful.

Hope he mends very soon.

 

[misskk88]

I would seriously be reviewing my friendship with said 'responsible adult'. Not just because she is meant to be a friend who has offered help, but also has complete disregard for your horses welfare, as well as total lack of honesty. I wouldn't be able to trust her again except for pleasantries and to keep peace on the yard.

Perhaps at least you now know why he had turned sour in the school. Maybe something was brewing whether caused, aggravated or no relation to your sharer.

Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up too much. Lesson learnt, but focus on the fact you now know the truth and can concentrate on your and your horse and getting him back to full health.

Either way so sorry to hear of your horse and I wish him a speedy recovery.

 

[Polos Mum]

So sorry, there are wonderful sharers and nightmares and spotting the difference is tricky.
I had one who after the boys being in for 5 weeks because of snow I asked her to take it easy and walk for a couple of weeks to bring his fitness back up. The next day she schooled hard and told my husband she was ignoring my suggestion because she thought it was rubbish!

She didn't ride him again, TBH if my rules were he must wear pink brushing boots and an orange numnah - that's what I expect, my horse my rules and if they don't like it - to yard gate is clearly visable !

Hope the lameness is nothing, might be an abcess brewing - if the farrier is passing worth a look

 

[Bens_Mum]

She keeps texting me asking why??? OMG I want to kill someone it's like the twilight zone round here does anyone have any standards. Excuse the rant but really??

 

[3OldPonies]

Bens_Mum - perfectly OK to rant given the circumstances. I would be absolutely fuming if I were you at the sharer and the supposed supervisor - where was she while all of that was going on. Like Polos Mum says, your horse = your rules. I very much hope that your horse is OK.

 

[Floxie]

If you can do so without sounding in any way emotional I'd just write her a list of simple points as to why - literally just 1) this, 2) the other - and send. No elaboration like "this is unacceptable!" just: "left headcollar on overnight" etc. Then nobody's under any illusions and she might get the kick up the bum she needs if she's ever to look after someone else's horse.

 

[Jenna1406]

I hope it is nothing serious and you get him back to full health.

 

[Kati*89]

If you can do so without sounding in any way emotional I'd just write her a list of simple points as to why - literally just 1) this, 2) the other - and send. No elaboration like "this is unacceptable!" just: "left headcollar on overnight" etc. Then nobody's under any illusions and she might get the kick up the bum she needs if she's ever to look after someone else's horse.

I was going to say I wouldn't reply to messages but actually a sensible list of the mistakes might make her think a bit more about what has been wrong...but only if you can say it polite straightforward way.

Don't blame you for being furious, so upsetting and I hope your chap is ok soon!

Why do people have to give a bad name for sharers!

 

[Bens_Mum]

Now the supervisor says he 'hit' a couple of poles I have no idea what's happened just devastated.

 

[_GG_]

Now the supervisor says he 'hit' a couple of poles I have no idea what's happened just devastated.

He was used as a play toy for the rider to have some fun and the "responsible friend" wasn't at all responsible and allowed it.

Yes, text a list of the reasons, but as Floxie says, just a list, nothing more. As for the friend, I would be apoplectic. I would hold it in so that I could ask and find out exactly what was done with the horse and pick up any clues to help with figuring out the lameness...then I would go ballistic at her!

I really hope it's nothing serious and doesn't put you off sharers, there are some great ones out there, but I would never trust that friend again and do it very carefully in future. I really feel for you and you have every right to rant!

 

[Bens_Mum]

There's no way I would do this again. I'd rather foot the bill myself. So disappointed the friend is trying to blame the whole thing on the kid it turns out her daughter has been giving her 'lessons' it's all one big cover up. For the sake of the fact I love the yard I'm going to be careful but I am raging.
Her kid owns the Spurs and wasn't riding last night it was her saddle my horse was wearing and the friend was there the whole time witnessing jumping that is forbidden the wrong saddle and the Spurs. Il never get the truth when I said he was lame the first comment was had the kids riding done it..

 

[View]

Oh so sorry to hear this. Hope that the lameness resolves swiftly and uneventfully.

I too would be raging with the "supervisor".

 

[Wizzkid]

How awful, I hope he recovers quickly.
I'm a sharer and I always cringe when I read these sorts of posts.
We aren't all like this!

 

[Bens_Mum]

I'm sure they aren't but I can see why people are less than keen to have one the idea of going through all this again is extremely unappealing. I won't be trying again for sure.

 

[Feival]

I'd happily flatten the sharer, inbox me her number, I'll set her straight if you want? ��

 

[Bens_Mum]

I would love to The Tank sadly it might be traced back to me since i imploded on the yard somewhere between blind rage and tears. So disgusting I'm still raging,

 

[Noodles_3]

Oh my god how awful!! I feel so sorry for you and your boy I hope he recovers soon. Id definitely text the ex sharer a list of things she's done wrong, she is quite frankly oblivious to what destruction she is causing along the way and she needs to know! I don't have any sympathy for her though because most things are common sense!! Sorry it's put you off sharers, they aren't all like this but I can completely understand why you've been put off.

 

[zaminda]

I actually couldn't stay on a yard with this so called friend. She knew your issues, and allowed riding in spurs, jumping, and a dodgy saddle. Some friend!! If there was something going on with a sharer where I keep mine, someone would step in.

 

[OldNag]

I don't blame you for being livid . Hope your horse is OK.
Another who suggests texting a list of the reasons you have terminated the share - and I would then block her number.

I hope your horse is on the mend v soon.

 

[Bens_Mum]

I go in the day child goes at night so I don't cross paths with people who see it normally. Today I did that's how I found out.

I have been talking to the friend for a good week about my concerns about the child she's been blaming it all on her and now I find she's been facilitating it I'm really upset about it feel like such a fool.

She's text me now asking how I'm feeling now saying my horse looks happy WTF? If this was her daughters there would be a riot it's atleast 5/10 lame in trot.

 

[zaminda]

Has he seen the vet? I think I would be telling them that they need to pay the bill.

 

[Bens_Mum]

Not yet I'm going to see how he is tomorrow. I'm so angry it's untrue and feel so guilty how did I let this happen.

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

You can not feel guilty at the lack of supervision given. There were instructions given to the correct care/riding of your horse and someone "responsible" for making sure these were followed. I am very sorry that your horse has suffered as a result of the lack of care shown towards him.

I shared a horse some years ago when my own was on long term "sick". I always followed the owners wishes and treated her like my own. Not all bad people out there but I do agree that it is difficult to find the right person.

Hope he comes sound soon.

 

[AmyMay]

Never again the adult clearly wasn't supervising at all that is the sad thing what a fool am I.

Shouldn't you have been supervising this teenager with your horse?