Sharer stress turns nightmare..

[YorksG]

I can see that anyone would be livid and the sharer and the "friend" are to blame, but I am surprised that you didn't check under the rug yesterday.

 

[Bens_Mum]

I normally would have done but it was wet and we leave them on to dry. No excuses but I have a 6 month old baby in a baby sling and was trying to get done fast.

The girl was bought there stayed with and taken home by a fellow livery who was telling me she was watching it. Clearly not.

 

[KalaJ]

I've been a sharer and I would never have done anything against the owners instructions, I followed them to the letter, after all it wasn't my horse! When I finally bought my own horse, at age 39, I had a young girl beg me to let her share my horse.....big mistake! The silly girl decided to stand up on my horse, got her friend to take a picture and then uploaded it to Facebook! I was livid......she said she couldn't understand why I didn't want her "help" anymore!!

 

[Tern]

I am so very sorry to hear this.

 

[Bens_Mum]

'Help' that's what makes me laugh I was told she was bringing on my horse- hyterical I have put up with a lot of rubbish due to the friend connection that's why I am so bloody mad.

Nevermind just hoping he is ok in the morning going to buy him a big bag of apples see if I can suck up a bit

 

[Bens_Mum]

So this morning I receive a email from the sharers father calling me nasty and cruel for ending the share! His daughter hasn't possibly hurt my horse!!! What a lovely start to my day.

 

[sychnant]

Ignore ignore ignore. He's obviously not a good influence and thinks his girl can do no wrong. You would have been fighting a battle to get her to listen I think. Can you block numbers on your phone?

Oops, edit, just got up and didn't see it said email!!! Can you block them?

 

[Bens_Mum]

Yes I've sent a gobful back and blocked it what a nightmare never again! 'Friend' is saying she is thinking I should give him a good telling off!!!! Argghhh only in my life so angry and distracted now and tonnes to do!

 

[Princess16]

How awful I too would be raging! As others have said gives sharers a bad name as there are some nice ones out there who wouldn't dream of disrespecting the horse's owner.

I would leave it now you that have stated the facts to said ignorant father and try to put the whole sorry debarcle behind you and focus on getting your boy well again.

Hope your boy recovers soon.

 

[Bens_Mum]

Thank you. I won't reply to him again just wasn't a good start to the day! Onwards and upwards

 

[Luci07]

I would get the vet out to check your boy over and confirm what is happening. I would also ask for a letter from the vet to confirm sore back etc etc. never hurts to have something concrete in case this crops up again in the future.

 

[Bens_Mum]

If he isn't right tomorrow I will. Just never want to hear from the idiot again what a looser. Problem is how will I ever know what has happened? Fuming doesn't come close.

 

[Luci07]

You probably won't. You took immediate steps to address the situation. I just think a clearly documented list could perhaps stop a lot of this dragging on with queries and questions.

End of the day, he is your horse and as others have said, they should respect your rules. I had a sharer for my old boy and insisted she stayed on my yard. She was very laissez faire so yard (he was on part livery) always checked him over when she had finished. She wanted to move him closer and couldn't understand why I said no. It took a list from the yard owner of things she had done before she stopped nagging me and getting cross. Riding wise she was brilliant and careful but seemed to have a blind spot about rugs, head collars left etc...

 

[Bens_Mum]

I sent the father the list along with I don't appreciate being called rude and speak to your child. They aren't remotely horsey so it will mean nothing. He is an arrogant man so I'm sure more will come. I'm not playing now I have said my piece.

 

[Jenna1406]

Oh no! What a horrible man! It doesnt matter why you ended the share, it is your horse at the end of the day. Hope it works out for the best.

 

[misskk88]

I sent the father the list along with I don't appreciate being called rude and speak to your child. They aren't remotely horsey so it will mean nothing. He is an arrogant man so I'm sure more will come. I'm not playing now I have said my piece.

People like him make me angry. Not only because they are pig ignorant, but at the end of the day it is still YOUR horse. She could have laid out the red carpet and treated your horse like royalty, but as YOUR horse you have final say and can make whatever decisions you so desire!

As for your friend. Once you have the details you require regarding what has gone on behind your back, I would be civil, but politely remind her that she played her part in this, and as a 'responsible' adult should 1, not be blaming a child 2, allowing such things to happen 3, lying to her friend and 4, act like such a hypocrite by now acting like the concerned friend.

Well wishes being sent to your horse from me x

 

[Bens_Mum]

Just so upset and angry I am letting it wind me up so much. If I didn't have to keep the peace at the yard I would have gone mad. I've got so much on my plate without all this rubbish.

He is vile but to call me names was just the last straw. Telling me the horse was fine when the child left! He never has been on the yard how the hell would he know!

They all make me sick.

 

[Equine_Dream]

Aw no you poor thing! I hope your boy is ok. What a nasty little brat she sounds and as for her father.... You absolutely did the right thing. I would not be letting them anywhere near my horse again. At the end of the day he's your horse. Regardless of why you ended the share its your choice and right as his owner xx

 

[Feival]

Get the vet out and present the father with the bill.

 

[Bens_Mum]

Still very lame no heat no one will tell me what's gone on

 

[ester]

vet today then and hope it's an abscess.

 

[dianchi]

So sorry to see this, ive had this happen to me in the past, you always think you are doing the best then it turns out that what you thought was happening isnt

I would be getting the vet out for a check over and to see what is what.
Cant remember if you said that you had a contract, but i would calling the parents directly and reading a script of the issues that said child has done

I would also be moving yard.

Sorry

 

[pip6]

Doubt you'll ever get the truth. Just get vet and let him assess it with the little you know, if they are any good they'll at least know where to start looking. Beware of friend, allow friendship to cool off so she has no more responsibility for overseeing your horse. I've had to call time on a share when they were taking mick (but not abusive like yours), and father got funny, seemed to think his daughter was owed a freebie whenever it suited her and I was there to pay and provide it. As tempting as it would be to send him the bill, would be very difficult to prove it was her fault without corroborating witnesses, and to be frank you don't need the grief of having any further contact with him. He's never going to admit the little darling did anything wrong. Block numbers, cut all ties with them. Is it possible to put a brief note up at your yard saying your lad is no longer being shared and you are his sole rider / carer? Just in case she and friends daughter try some mischief knowing you aren't there in the evenings? Nothing rude, just that the agreement has been terminated?

 

[Bens_Mum]

I've made all aware of what has happened including YO it's a big yard she won't show her face. He's had a list of what I'm not happy with but descended into calling nasty names now.
She's saying he only walked and trotted and the saddle kept slipping. I know he was wearing someone else's and they were bragging about jumping..
Kid is all over Instagram posting pictures of my horse saying I'm horrible what a lovely day..

 

[hotair]

So sorry to hear your boy has been injured and hope he gets well soon! I think you have deffinatly done the right thing in getting rid of the sharer for your horses sake, and judging by what you have said about the instagram posts shes a very immature child who didnt deserve your lovely boy so you are well rid! I am currently looking for a sharer for my horse and its such a nightmare to try and find someone who is honest about ther abilities and that i think could be trusted with my horse and posts like these do just put me off even more.

 

[Bens_Mum]

I am totally put off if someone hadn't told me I wouldn't know half of it and all the right things were said to my face im going to offer a friend to ride him for free if she wants at least she can ride it's not worth money and advertising all this has cost me more in time, heartache and now a potential vet bill than I ever got!

 

[Milngavie1]

Do yourself a favour..............don't read anything else from the girl, family etc and certainly don't bother with Instagram/Social networking! You are only annoying yourself.

The horse is yours, you rightfully ended the share which is your prerogative. Let the idiots get on with being idiots!

 

[Rollin]

I am so sorry to read this thread. Has the vet been yet and what is his/her opinion? I hope all is well.

On a different tack, what are forumers' opinions on abilities of 13 year olds? I ask because I have had equine studies students working on my yard, of 17/18 years of age and would not leave them unsupervised.

 

[Floxie]

I started loaning (at the owner's yard) at 13 and I was trusted to my own devices, though given support when it was required. Pretty sure my biggest gaffes were bringing in a pan of sugarbeet instead of barley to boil (not knowing which was which I went for the one that was already wet!) and dropping a milk bottle (I thought it was the end of the world) Not all 13 year olds are incapable, some are responsible enough to be trusted.

I wouldn't, though - can't stand kids

 

[RunToEarth]

Have you called the vet yet OP?