Should I buy another horse....

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murphysmummy

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So, I'm 36 and have currently 1 horse that I own solely. He is 31 and has been my horse since I was 15 - he is the love of my life. My sister has her horse and rescue pony at the same yard and we work together to keep them so we class all 3 as 'ours' and help each other out. I am a Deputy Headteacher of a large secondary school, am married and have a 5 year old son and a dog. I keep my horses on livery.

I have seen a lovely horse (late night horsequest browsing) that I really like the look of. He's young, I can afford him and looks the right type for my longer term goals of some very low level eventing (when I can reacquaint myself with my brave pants!) but generally a nice, kind type that can be my next horse. My sister has just had a baby (December) so is not keen on adding another one but I have been doing all the jobs recently as a result of her maternity 'leave' and have enjoyed the increase in jobs over the last few months.

The reason I am hesitating is the consideration of whether I am being a selfish mum by wanting another horse that will take my time. Obviously in the school holidays I have more time and spend a lot of time with my son and my horses, in term time it's much more pressured and it is likely that the new horse would have Jan and Feb off each year as that's my busiest time and the weather means any consistency is hard. Am I being selfish wanting this for myself?
 
94lunagem

94lunagem

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Not selfish at all - you sound like a very reasoned and considered person from your initial post, I say go for it.

If horse has January and February off each year and that suits you both, then so what! 👍
 
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Peglo

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Definitely do it. When I lost my old girls I was so glad I’d gone a bit crazy and bought a 3rd so I wasn’t horseless and had her to cherish. Having the familiarity of my old girls while getting to know the new one was good and glad I had that relationship with her when the oldies went over the rainbow. At the very least go and see this horse. You’ll always wonder about him if you don’t.
 
splashgirl45

splashgirl45

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I doubt anyone on here would say don’t do it. You only live once and as long as your OH is ok with it (might make home difficult if he isn’t) would go ahead obviously with due care and with your head and a vetting by your vet and not the sellers especially if it’s a dealer…
We will need photos please 😃😃
 
dottylottie

dottylottie

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splashgirl45 said:
I doubt anyone on here would say don’t do it. You only live once and as long as your OH is ok with it (might make home difficult if he isn’t) would go ahead obviously with due care and with your head and a vetting by your vet and not the sellers especially if it’s a dealer…
We will need photos please 😃😃
Click to expand...

even if home life becomes difficult, there’s an extra horse = extra time at the yard anyway🤣
 
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Abacus

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You sound a well organised person and you're thinking it all through, I tend to find that once you have the extra and are used to it, you don't really notice the additional work. You don't say if your old horse is still working but even if so, presumably he'll retire at some point and it will be good to have something else to focus on.

My only 'negative' here is a consideration - I have done exactly the same and I hadn't quite remembered how much effort it takes to get a horse even to low level eventing standard - all the xc schooling, and individual dressage and SJ outings to get them ready for doing all three parts. I have never managed to get quite back into the regular eventing habit, more because of this than for lack of a spare weekend to compete. Kids are now 14 and 11, and I still haven't managed more than about 4 outings each summer, and the same for hunting in winter. That said as long as you don't mind taking i more slowly that you did before children, it's not necessarily a problem.
 
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Annagain

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I'd definitely say get another horse but your comment about brave pants makes me wonder whether this horse is the right one. I know from experience that going from an oldie you know inside out and trust entirely to another horse - any horse not even a young one - is really difficult. If you're concerned about time, maybe something a bit more ready made might be a better idea?

I went from 2 26 years olds I have known for 20 years to a 6 year old in similar circumstances - high pressure job, long hours, family commitments etc and I ended up selling him after 18 months. I really struggled to get my confidence with him and build that trust. It wasn't just a time issue but maybe if I'd had time to ride every day it wouldn't have been so hard. I then bought a 14 yr old with the T-shirt and, despite a prolapsed disc (unrelated to horses) writing off 10 months of the 18 I've had him, I'm so much happier. I can leave him a week and he's no different, I've never had to lunge him before getting on or make sure someone's around before I ride and I can take him places without help - or someone to drive him home if I fall off, which was always at the back of my mind!

I may well be projecting and you're more confident than me but I just wanted to warn you about how difficult that switch can be. It really took me by surprise.
 
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Polos Mum

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It can't hurt to go and look. If he is all that he says he is, then you can make the decision.

Having spent almost a year and 20+ viewings of lame / not as described horses - it'd be fabulous if the first one you went to see (15 years after buying the last) was the right one !

Best of luck but note the market is still hot for horses so take care on vetting and listen to your gut if you have niggles when trying him.
 
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murphysmummy

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So….I’ve contacted the seller. He’s quite far away and has viewings tomorrow and Saturday already. The earliest I could get there would be Sunday and that wouldn’t be ideal due to the distance. Could do with him not selling so I can go next Sat am, try him, stay Sat eve and try again in the morning before driving home. Fingers crossed for me! 😂
 
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