Should I buy another horse....

[murphysmummy]

So, I'm 36 and have currently 1 horse that I own solely. He is 31 and has been my horse since I was 15 - he is the love of my life. My sister has her horse and rescue pony at the same yard and we work together to keep them so we class all 3 as 'ours' and help each other out. I am a Deputy Headteacher of a large secondary school, am married and have a 5 year old son and a dog. I keep my horses on livery.

I have seen a lovely horse (late night horsequest browsing) that I really like the look of. He's young, I can afford him and looks the right type for my longer term goals of some very low level eventing (when I can reacquaint myself with my brave pants!) but generally a nice, kind type that can be my next horse. My sister has just had a baby (December) so is not keen on adding another one but I have been doing all the jobs recently as a result of her maternity 'leave' and have enjoyed the increase in jobs over the last few months.

The reason I am hesitating is the consideration of whether I am being a selfish mum by wanting another horse that will take my time. Obviously in the school holidays I have more time and spend a lot of time with my son and my horses, in term time it's much more pressured and it is likely that the new horse would have Jan and Feb off each year as that's my busiest time and the weather means any consistency is hard. Am I being selfish wanting this for myself?

 

[silv]

No you are not being selfish, you sound pretty well organised and are not new to horse owning, go for it I say.

 

[Pinkvboots]

I would say go for it and you don't sound selfish at all

 

[black and brown]

Yes you should. You never know what is around the corner and if it makes you happy then go for it.

 

[nagblagger]

Another vote to go for it..

 

[Hormonal Filly]

Go for it. You only live once.

 

[Zoeypxo]

Get the horse!

 

[Barton Bounty]

When is he arriving

 

[94lunagem]

Not selfish at all - you sound like a very reasoned and considered person from your initial post, I say go for it.

If horse has January and February off each year and that suits you both, then so what!

 

[ElectricChampagne]

Go for it, but don't let your heart rule your head, and make sure that this horse is the right one. They all look good on paper.

If he is, go enjoy it and I'm sure you'll find the brave pants again in no time.

 

[Gloi]

This is the wrong place to ask . Buy the horse. Buy your son a pony too.

 

[dottylottie]

so when is he coming home??

 

[94lunagem]

Buy your son a pony too.

This made me chuckle!

 

[Melody Grey]

This is the wrong place to ask . Buy the horse. Buy your son a pony too.

I did this- win, win!

 

[Peglo]

Definitely do it. When I lost my old girls I was so glad I’d gone a bit crazy and bought a 3rd so I wasn’t horseless and had her to cherish. Having the familiarity of my old girls while getting to know the new one was good and glad I had that relationship with her when the oldies went over the rainbow. At the very least go and see this horse. You’ll always wonder about him if you don’t.

 

[splashgirl45]

I doubt anyone on here would say don’t do it. You only live once and as long as your OH is ok with it (might make home difficult if he isn’t) would go ahead obviously with due care and with your head and a vetting by your vet and not the sellers especially if it’s a dealer…
We will need photos please

 

[Tinsel]

Yes and get your son a pony as well

 

[Pearlsasinger]

As a now retired Deputy Head, I think you should buy the horse, if he is what you are looking for.

 

[Equi]

Ach ya will ya will ya will

 

[dottylottie]

I doubt anyone on here would say don’t do it. You only live once and as long as your OH is ok with it (might make home difficult if he isn’t) would go ahead obviously with due care and with your head and a vetting by your vet and not the sellers especially if it’s a dealer…
We will need photos please

even if home life becomes difficult, there’s an extra horse = extra time at the yard anyway

 

[Above the snowline]

Selfish - no. Happy mum = happy family. Good luck. Forgot to say - yes to the horse

 

[Abacus]

You sound a well organised person and you're thinking it all through, I tend to find that once you have the extra and are used to it, you don't really notice the additional work. You don't say if your old horse is still working but even if so, presumably he'll retire at some point and it will be good to have something else to focus on.

My only 'negative' here is a consideration - I have done exactly the same and I hadn't quite remembered how much effort it takes to get a horse even to low level eventing standard - all the xc schooling, and individual dressage and SJ outings to get them ready for doing all three parts. I have never managed to get quite back into the regular eventing habit, more because of this than for lack of a spare weekend to compete. Kids are now 14 and 11, and I still haven't managed more than about 4 outings each summer, and the same for hunting in winter. That said as long as you don't mind taking i more slowly that you did before children, it's not necessarily a problem.

 

[babymare]

Not selfish at all . You sound like you are very organised and have thought it through carefully. Go for it

 

[Annagain]

I'd definitely say get another horse but your comment about brave pants makes me wonder whether this horse is the right one. I know from experience that going from an oldie you know inside out and trust entirely to another horse - any horse not even a young one - is really difficult. If you're concerned about time, maybe something a bit more ready made might be a better idea?

I went from 2 26 years olds I have known for 20 years to a 6 year old in similar circumstances - high pressure job, long hours, family commitments etc and I ended up selling him after 18 months. I really struggled to get my confidence with him and build that trust. It wasn't just a time issue but maybe if I'd had time to ride every day it wouldn't have been so hard. I then bought a 14 yr old with the T-shirt and, despite a prolapsed disc (unrelated to horses) writing off 10 months of the 18 I've had him, I'm so much happier. I can leave him a week and he's no different, I've never had to lunge him before getting on or make sure someone's around before I ride and I can take him places without help - or someone to drive him home if I fall off, which was always at the back of my mind!

I may well be projecting and you're more confident than me but I just wanted to warn you about how difficult that switch can be. It really took me by surprise.

 

[seriously festive equine]

go for it!

 

[Polos Mum]

It can't hurt to go and look. If he is all that he says he is, then you can make the decision.

Having spent almost a year and 20+ viewings of lame / not as described horses - it'd be fabulous if the first one you went to see (15 years after buying the last) was the right one !

Best of luck but note the market is still hot for horses so take care on vetting and listen to your gut if you have niggles when trying him.

 

[murphysmummy]

So….I’ve contacted the seller. He’s quite far away and has viewings tomorrow and Saturday already. The earliest I could get there would be Sunday and that wouldn’t be ideal due to the distance. Could do with him not selling so I can go next Sat am, try him, stay Sat eve and try again in the morning before driving home. Fingers crossed for me!

 

[2 Dragons]

Good luck. Try to make sure you're not influenced by knowing others are interested.

 

[murphysmummy]

Good luck. Try to make sure you're not influenced by knowing others are interested.

I’m pretty level headed and go in sceptical! Hopefully that will help although can be a barrier when all you’ve read is horror stories

 

[splashgirl45]

If it is a dealer have you checked the dodgy dealers site on Facebook , might save you a journey and a lot of money