Should I pts? Desperately need advice

[xelliex123x]

Hello, I’m looking for some advice on perspectives as to whether to put my horse to sleep. Background info:

NF gelding, 15 y/o. Bought as a project a few years ago and has never worked out. Have tried so much over the last few years, even sent away for 6 weeks of re schooling costing a bomb. Nobody but me can easily catch and handle him, he’s very reactive and dangerous to ride and blind bolts over the slightest thing.

I did have him on individual turnout at a DIY yard and have been doing the chores every single day. I’m tired of it. I tried to look for the perfect home for him a few months ago with no luck, only had dealers contacting me really and I don’t want him passed around.

I’ve recently moved him from the DIY yard to a full grass livery yard with mixed herd turnout. He hasn’t got on well, the yard owner has found him more tricky than she thought he would be in terms of catching, and he’s being riggy towards the mares and bullying the other gelding, so she has said we need to go.

I’m just at the end of my tether, what can I do with a horse that is unhappy out on his own, can’t be with other horses, can’t be ridden and can’t really be handled by anybody without significant time taken gaining trust?

I do know of a gelding only herd which I could try but 1) is it right to put him through the stress of a new herd only a month after he’s just moved 2) is the new yard owner realistically going to want us there knowing the reason we are moving as he hasn’t been good out with horses 3) this place they don’t allow you to take horses out of the field apart from for vet etc. so I wouldn’t even be able to take him for in hand walks which still gives me something out of having him.

He’s not (responsibly) sellable even as a project now given his age and he’s not suitabale as a companion. Am I selfish for not wanting to spend £250+ for the next 15 years or so for him to be stood in a field on his own, not having really any quality of life himself either?

I’d appreciate any perspectives, but please be kind as it’s such a difficult and stressful situation right now. Could you guys think of a solution I haven’t thought of maybe?

For everything I have said negatively about him, I do absolutely adore this horse but I’m just exhausted now with the situation and don’t know where to go from here. I don’t have the time any more with my career and starting a family to be going up the yard twice a day like I have done for the past 7 years.

Thanks in advance

 

[OrangeAndLemon]

There are worse things that could happen to him. It sounds like he finds even the basics in life quite stressful.

Has a vet ever been able to offer any suggestions as where to look for causes of the behaviour?

 

[Orangehorse]

I think you know what the answer is. You have given him every chance. You don't know what he went through before you had him.
Although it will feel terrible leading up to it, afterwards there will be sadness but also relief.

BTW, you don't need a vet. There are nice, kind people who will come and do the deed, look under Fallen Stock for firms that take livestock like cattle and sheep and most do horses too.

 

[Nasicus]

I wouldn't blame you. If he can't be ridden/given a job, can't be a companion and can't be out on his own then what can you realistically do and what is there in life for him to even enjoy?

 

[eggs]

I think if you are asking the question you probably already know the answer. Sadly it does sound as though you are running of options and I can only applaud for not just giving up and passing him on with his problems.

Has it been confirmed that he isn't a rig? No-one could blame you if you do decided to pts as he does not sounds like a happy pony.

 

[IrishMilo]

Not selfish, responsible. I did the same with one of mine in very similar circumstances.

 

[Above the snowline]

Good idea to find out if he’s a rig. I have no experience of rigs - can they be ‘fixed’ and what would it cost? Also would it guarantee he would become a happy easy to manage horse?

 

[sportsmansB]

A quiet end is kinder than the unknown of being passed around, even if thats the 2 of you being passed around livery yards upsetting both of you.

A horse who is unhappy on their own and with others has more going on, and no one sensible would blame you for essentially putting him out of his unhappiness.

 

[Above the snowline]

Good idea to find out if he’s a rig. I have no experience of rigs - can they be ‘fixed’ and what would it cost? Also would it guarantee he would become a happy easy to manage horse?

After reading again and seeing ‘blind bolts’ I would pts.

 

[Errin Paddywack]

I would pts, he doesn't sound a happy horse and is making you stressed and unhappy as a result. Once done you will both have peace.

 

[ycbm]

I would support a PTS decision in this case. Even if he's a rig, resolving that chemically or by an operation would cost a fortune, and he's a bolter.

 

[oldie48]

An irresponsible owner would try to pass him so he's someone else's problem and/or try to recoup a bit of money for him. What you are suggesting is what a responsible owner would do. Don't beat yourself up about it, you have done your best and sometimes horses just don't come "right".

 

[terrierliz]

I feel your pain, I have one like this, luckily he is kept at home, he is an angel to deal with on the ground has always been quirky under saddle, he’s 13.1. After I bought him I found out he’d been passed from pillar to post, I’ve had fun on him when he’s been less challenging but have always said he will never be passed on and if I can’t look after him for any reason then for his sake he will go over the rainbow bridge. You’ve obviously tried your best for him and there are far worse fates than letting him quietly be pts.

 

[SEL]

He sounds the double of a NF I inherited and put down about 18 months ago. By the time the vet came out he was also lame behind which she thought was a suspensory from the way he was carrying himself but he was too dangerous for her to even try and run a hand down his back leg. My call to the vets wasn't actually driven by his leg but I saw him run past a person walking across his field and purposely kick out at her - I realised then that if someone got hurt I'd have that on my conscience. A friend had offered to have him as a companion but I doubt we'd have been able to safely travel him and I would have just been passing a problem over to her which I needed to deal with.

Desperately sad but sometimes it is the right answer.

 

[Birker2020]

Hello, I’m looking for some advice on perspectives as to whether to put my horse to sleep. Background info:

NF gelding, 15 y/o. Bought as a project a few years ago and has never worked out. Have tried so much over the last few years, even sent away for 6 weeks of re schooling costing a bomb. Nobody but me can easily catch and handle him, he’s very reactive and dangerous to ride and blind bolts over the slightest thing.

I did have him on individual turnout at a DIY yard and have been doing the chores every single day. I’m tired of it. I tried to look for the perfect home for him a few months ago with no luck, only had dealers contacting me really and I don’t want him passed around.

I’ve recently moved him from the DIY yard to a full grass livery yard with mixed herd turnout. He hasn’t got on well, the yard owner has found him more tricky than she thought he would be in terms of catching, and he’s being riggy towards the mares and bullying the other gelding, so she has said we need to go.

I’m just at the end of my tether, what can I do with a horse that is unhappy out on his own, can’t be with other horses, can’t be ridden and can’t really be handled by anybody without significant time taken gaining trust?

I do know of a gelding only herd which I could try but 1) is it right to put him through the stress of a new herd only a month after he’s just moved 2) is the new yard owner realistically going to want us there knowing the reason we are moving as he hasn’t been good out with horses 3) this place they don’t allow you to take horses out of the field apart from for vet etc. so I wouldn’t even be able to take him for in hand walks which still gives me something out of having him.

He’s not (responsibly) sellable even as a project now given his age and he’s not suitabale as a companion. Am I selfish for not wanting to spend £250+ for the next 15 years or so for him to be stood in a field on his own, not having really any quality of life himself either?

I’d appreciate any perspectives, but please be kind as it’s such a difficult and stressful situation right now. Could you guys think of a solution I haven’t thought of maybe?

For everything I have said negatively about him, I do absolutely adore this horse but I’m just exhausted now with the situation and don’t know where to go from here. I don’t have the time any more with my career and starting a family to be going up the yard twice a day like I have done for the past 7 years.

Thanks in advance

I could keep Lari where I am but its not fair on him, I want him to gave the stimulation of a herd and like you said, not stuck in a paddock on his own, so I opted for retirement livery.

I'm lucky I can afford to do this and buy another, my Mum has been willing to help me out but I know not everyone can so your options are limited especially if yours is riggy.

So, I'm giving you my perspective.

Could you try him in the geldings group and see how he gets on? You could just mention to the owner of the retirement place that he was riggy with the mares but feel he'd be fine with just geldings. Maybe there is a quiet corner of a field away from the others you could take him to groom him and have a bit of fuss so you could still spend time with him?

If none of that appeals then I don't think you have much choice but to pts. He won't know what's hsppening and it might be best for both of you.

However I would say that speaking from experience if the horse is reactive its bound to have a physical issue, and I am curious - have you ever investigated this as it could possibly be something that might be able to be manage relatively easily with steroid or bute and if pain is managed he may become a different horse.

Understand if you didn't want to do that though as it could work out expensive but might be worth an investigation in case there is something obvious.

I understand how you feel. I have rehabbed my last two horses constantly and like you have said it can be exhausting.

 

[Clodagh]

It’s meant to be fun. You have ended up with a horse that you cannot do anything with and you can’t in all decency sell or loan to anyone.
PTS. But tbh I wouldn’t tell anyone and I’d just do it.

 

[paddy555]

, he’s very reactive and dangerous to ride and blind bolts over the slightest thing.

having read this and the rest of your post and also having been through something very similar my question would be "can he see"

 

[Crazy_cat_lady]

I would PTS and I speak as someone who's PTS for financial reasons and has given up horses completely. I'm also another who would potentially like to start a family in the near future, and knew I couldn't do both. The cost of living increase was my deciding factor. He was 24 with Cushing's, and had lived in the same home all his life, was scared of new people and didn't like change.

The blind bolting stood out and people would PTS for that as it can be lethal

He's not working turned out in a group so not suitable as a companion

I wouldn't want to sit on a blind bolter and couldn't pass him on as you face someone unscrupulous trying to pass him onto someone without disclosure and it could end horrifically for both him and the unknowing person - due to his breed it could be a child

I'd spend a day spoiling him with his favourite treats and quietly PTS in his own home. I wouldn't tell people about my decision bar those who absolutely have to know for practicalities. (Unfortunately I did...)

 

[Bowie]

Oh my dear. So difficult. I think you know the answer but I get the desperation of making sure it’s the right call. Personally I think it is. As a mom, I wouldn’t want my child tricked by an unscrupulous dealer into buying such a poor lad and I also feel for you in this situation. He doesn’t sound happy in all the ‘normal ‘ possible environments so perhaps it’s time. Take care.

 

[Trouper]

I was going to start by asking you just what vet checks he has had done over the years but re-reading your post I realise that there is just so much more to his problems than a pure medical issue. My go-to person to give me a definitive diagnosis on what is wrong with a horse is Tom Beech (The Osteopathic Vet) and I would go by his opinion.

But then, even if you can sort his problems now, the years are going to bring fresh issues and I suspect he would revert to his difficult behaviour as associated pain and infirmity take hold. If he has never been socialised properly as a foal or has hormonal issues then these are very difficult to change now.

I have pts two with intractable issues and have the peace of mind that they had the best end they could. Your efforts with him are exemplary so I hope you can be at peace yourself with any decision to pts.

 

[Haniki]

I would agree with PTS. I knew a horse who would bolt at the slightest thing and show other unreasonable behaviour. Upon being PTS he was found to have a brain tumour.

 

[Red-1]

You had me at blind bolt. I would PTS on that alone, if it is a true blind bolt as a habit.

 

[millikins]

I too would probably PTS, you've certainly tried your best. Another thing to consider, if you are starting a family, managing him will become even harder with a small child.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

He sounds like a very unhappy pony and you sound like a very unhappy owner. The way to stop both those problems is to pts. You have given him every chance that you can to find a situation that he enjoys and thrives in but there doesn't seem to be one. You could spend a fortune on various investigations and still be left with an unhappy pony, probably even more unhappy and stressed than he is now. Pts is very often the kindest thing to do, I would do it in these circumstances

 

[Jenko109]

A friend had one PTS some years ago under similar circumstances.

Although not dangerous to ride, he was unpredictable to handle and had hospitalised her by literally kicking her head in while loose in the field.

Although she could have continued carefully handling him and made adjustments to his routine, the reality was she did not want to be tied to such a strict routine with this horse, not allowing anybody else to handle him.

We are meant to enjoy our horses and not feel imprisoned by them. The grounds for choosing to PTS are not really relevant; if the horse is not a candidate for rehoming and you no longer want to be tied to him, then have him PTS.

 

[Carlosmum]

I had my 15 yo NF PTS last summer, different reasons but I was unable to retire him, and no longer wanted to ride him. There is no shame in doing what is right for the pony, TBH if you are thinking it then it is the right decision for both of you.

 

[asmp]

It’s meant to be fun. You have ended up with a horse that you cannot do anything with and you can’t in all decency sell or loan to anyone.
PTS. But tbh I wouldn’t tell anyone and I’d just do it.

Exactly what I was going to post (about owning a horse is supposed to be fun)

 

[Milliechaz]

I have been in the exact same position as you, luckily he was kept at home so i adapted everything to his needs but when my old mare was pts he was too. I would never ever have sold him as he would have been passed pillar to post and ended up beaten as he'd be seen as a challenge to some. I owned him for 6 years and did everything i could and spent literally thousands so when the decision was made to pts I honestly didn't feel like id failed him. When he lay there afterwards it was the first time I had ever seen him look truly relaxed.

 

[Goldenstar]

Honestly , I would PTS there are worse fates for a horse .
I PTS one of my homebreds at three despite a good upbringing she was aggressive to humans she first tried to bite someone at two days old , it’s a long time ago and I suspect now they would scope her and find she had had ulcers all her life .

 

[Cortez]

Honestly , I would PTS there are worse fates for a horse .
I PTS one of my homebreds at three despite a good upbringing she was aggressive to humans she first tried to bite someone at two days old , it’s a long time ago and I suspect now they would scope her and find she had had ulcers all her life .

My only aggressive-from-birth young horse had a brain tumour on PM. We put him down as a yearling after he attacked his mother.