Should I pts? Desperately need advice

[whirlwind]

We’ve got a very similar sounding new forest. He’s doesn’t bolt ridden but definitely isn’t easy. Luckily he is pretty happy and chilled living out in a herd and is no problem with other horses. He comes in a few times a week for a groom and his feet done, if he’s in one of those moods and you can’t catch him then we don’t bother. And he is ok hacking out steadily in a group with a good rider so does go out either ridden or led off another horse a couple of times a week in spring/ summer for weight management. This is all on our own land though so he doesn’t really cost to keep. If he did or I couldn’t keep him at home for any reason I’d have him pts and would consider he’d had a pretty decent life!

 

[Ratface]

I would support you quietly having your chap pts as soon as possible. From your description, he sounds as if he is in pain somewhere.
Many years ago, I was on a dressage yard and one of the owners' brightest, kindest and most successful horses became increasingly aggressive and dangerous. He had to be pts as he was well on the way to killing any of the calm, kind professional staff, and nearly succeeded with the owner and rider.
There was a post mortem, and it was discovered that he had a brain tumour.
It may possibly be something of the same with your pony.
I hope both you and he come out of the other side of this as quickly as possible.

 

[misst]

The easy thing to do would be to pass him on. You want to do the right thing by him and looking at what you've said he is not a happy boy. He has had the best you can give him and you have a right to a life too. I would PTS but realise it is easy to say and not easy to do. Thank you for not passing him on for his own sake and for the next owners sake. It is hard when you love them so much but you have tried. I expect you will feel a sense of relief when he is gone but you will still miss him. Many people would not have tried so hard in the first place. Ignore any haters or anyone offering to take him off your hands. He is your horse and you know what is right for him.

 

[eggs]

I would support you quietly having your chap pts as soon as possible. From your description, he sounds as if he is in pain somewhere.
Many years ago, I was on a dressage yard and one of the owners' brightest, kindest and most successful horses became increasingly aggressive and dangerous. He had to be pts as he was well on the way to killing any of the calm, kind professional staff, and nearly succeeded with the owner and rider.
There was a post mortem, and it was discovered that he had a brain tumour.

Some years ago I was on a yard when one of the horses became very unpredictable and dangerous. She was also pts and on post morten was found to have a brain tumour.

 

[maisie06]

Hello, I’m looking for some advice on perspectives as to whether to put my horse to sleep. Background info:

NF gelding, 15 y/o. Bought as a project a few years ago and has never worked out. Have tried so much over the last few years, even sent away for 6 weeks of re schooling costing a bomb. Nobody but me can easily catch and handle him, he’s very reactive and dangerous to ride and blind bolts over the slightest thing.

I did have him on individual turnout at a DIY yard and have been doing the chores every single day. I’m tired of it. I tried to look for the perfect home for him a few months ago with no luck, only had dealers contacting me really and I don’t want him passed around.

I’ve recently moved him from the DIY yard to a full grass livery yard with mixed herd turnout. He hasn’t got on well, the yard owner has found him more tricky than she thought he would be in terms of catching, and he’s being riggy towards the mares and bullying the other gelding, so she has said we need to go.

I’m just at the end of my tether, what can I do with a horse that is unhappy out on his own, can’t be with other horses, can’t be ridden and can’t really be handled by anybody without significant time taken gaining trust?

I do know of a gelding only herd which I could try but 1) is it right to put him through the stress of a new herd only a month after he’s just moved 2) is the new yard owner realistically going to want us there knowing the reason we are moving as he hasn’t been good out with horses 3) this place they don’t allow you to take horses out of the field apart from for vet etc. so I wouldn’t even be able to take him for in hand walks which still gives me something out of having him.

He’s not (responsibly) sellable even as a project now given his age and he’s not suitabale as a companion. Am I selfish for not wanting to spend £250+ for the next 15 years or so for him to be stood in a field on his own, not having really any quality of life himself either?

I’d appreciate any perspectives, but please be kind as it’s such a difficult and stressful situation right now. Could you guys think of a solution I haven’t thought of maybe?

For everything I have said negatively about him, I do absolutely adore this horse but I’m just exhausted now with the situation and don’t know where to go from here. I don’t have the time any more with my career and starting a family to be going up the yard twice a day like I have done for the past 7 years.

Thanks in advance

I would ring the knacker man and arrange PTS if he were mine, it's the kindest most responsible thing you could do for him.

 

[Jellymoon]

I had one that blind-bolted, sounds v similar, and I made the tough decision. It was not taken lightly and I still question it, but he was not safe for people to handle, and he was not a happy horse. It was done out of love because many people would pass this problem on to someone else, which to me is a much greater cruelty. It’s horses like these that end up being passed around and finish off god knows where. At least I know where he is now.
And like someone else said, I wouldn’t talk to many people about it, just do it quietly. And then come back here for support because it seems like many of us have had to do it at some point.

 

[4Hoofed]

PTS. It’s an expensive way to both be miserable. At the end of the day you’ve tried and there are much worst fates then death.

 

[xelliex123x]

Thank you so much everybody for all your responses, it's been so incredibly helpful and reassuring to hear all of your perspectives.

I spoke to the new forest pony association, as I thought that perhaps as a last ditch resort that coming from the forest he could go back there. But the lady informed they would not release geldings as this upsets the mares and the dynamics when the stallions are turned out, and in addition domesticated horses rarely survive the winters, don't know where to look for water etc.

As his issues seem to be because of the mix of the mares and the geldings in the field, one other option which I am considering is moving him to a geldings only retirement livery place. I am going to speak to the owner of one I know tonight and will be fully upfront about the current situation and his handling issues, and if it won't be the right fit then I really will have no other option. I am 50/50 whether I will PTS or give him a few more years at this place with the geldings (if it works out). It is so hard to know what to do as there is nothing physically wrong with him.

To top it all off, one of the women at the yard has asked for half of a £380 vet bill she has had for her horse which mine has caused (when he first moved there they got into a bit of a scrap and my pony's hoof struck his face and he had to be in the stable for a few days with stitches), and since then he'd had a few superficial bite marks. She said that she has insurance but doesn't want to claim on it, so wants to cover the cost 50% me 50% her. Don't even have the mental energy to consider whether I think this is fair or not, but will just be another financial blow when I potentially am going to have to pay a significant amount of money if he is PTS and transport fees to the new place if that's the route I go down. When it rains it pours!

Anyway, thanks so much for all of your support, I appreciate it alot and I will update, if you'd like me to, on where things go.

 

[mariew]

Yup, I was another who didn't read much past blind bolt. If you are asking for permission or need reassurance it's ok you have mine, sometimes it's kinder to yourself and the horse when you let them go. Even if it's horrible at the time.

 

[dorsetladette]

OP I would PTS. You sound exhausted.

I have an unrideable pony who is on borrowed time. He is on loan as a companion, but that ends soon and he's comng home. If I didn't have room he would be looking for another loan home or it would be PTS. he won't ever go up for sale and the deal is he is always in the control of either me or my sister. for now (hopefully) he will be a good nanny pony to my youngsters.

There are worst things to happen to a horse than PTS.

I've also had someone demand I pay there vet bill after one of mine kicked theirs in a field. I was also very low at the time after loosing a very special pony to a kick after an other owner didn't fully disclose information about their horse. The pony I lost was insured and I never considered for a minute asking others to pay my bills. But, I ended up paying what would of been their excess if they had been insured (I saved them money by giving them use of my trailer to take pony to vets and return) but in hindsight I should not of paid anything. Horses are turned out together at owners own risk, I'm sure your livery yard owner will have something in writing to state the same. Insurance is there to be claimed against, if the other lady doesn't want to claim thats her problem.

Chin up!

 

[TPO]

To top it all off, one of the women at the yard has asked for half of a £380 vet bill she has had for her horse which mine has caused (when he first moved there they got into a bit of a scrap and my pony's hoof struck his face and he had to be in the stable for a few days with stitches), and since then he'd had a few superficial bite marks. She said that she has insurance but doesn't want to claim on it, so wants to cover the cost 50% me 50% her. Don't even have the mental energy to consider whether I think this is fair or not, but will just be another financial blow when I potentially am going to have to pay a significant amount of money if he is PTS and transport fees to the new place if that's the route I go down. When it rains it pours!

Tell her to ram it. If she's after anything she needs to pursue YO and their insurance for accidents - I'd reckon she would be on a hiding to nothing. Sadly field accidents happen and horses will be horses. It's a risk we all take when turning out in a group/herd.

The terms of insurance is that ALL accidents/vet visits aside from routine teeth and vaccines etc, need to be declared whether you claim or not. So by doing what she claims to be doing she is committing fraud.

I know it's easy to say but politely tell her that you won't be paying as you are not liable. Let her know that she is welcome to pursue you but she is not entitled to any money from you. She has insurance and could pay the £150 odd excess and have the bill covered. She's taking advantage of you being mentally exhausted and in a vulnerable state.

I'm sure most of us have had horses come in with all sorts of scrapes and injuries from the field and yes it's upsetting, and often expensive, but that's the risk you (generic) take.

 

[OrangeAndLemon]

Agree on the insurance.

If her plan is to avoid reporting to keep premiums down it won't work as she has to disclose medical records at renewal anyway. It's in her interest to claim.

 

[cariadbach10]

It’s an expensive way to be miserable, for you. And for him it sounds like he’s living a pretty stressful life with all he’s got going on in his little head. I would support PTS.

 

[pistolpete]

I have a retired lame pony who is tricky to handle and has kicked others. I’d offer to pay excess only on that kick although agree you’re not really liable! And I’d try the gelding only herd. You’ll have terrible guilt if you don’t.